dmxpf Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Hello, I have been dating my girlfriend for about 10 months. Recently, she found me in the bathroom inserting a dildo in my rectum. She started screaming and ran out frantically, and I haven't heard from her since. It's been about 3 days since the incident. I am dying here. I really want to talk to her, but she is not responding. Any pointers on what I should do here? I don't really see what the big deal is, but she is clearly freaked out and probably thinks I'm gay now.
stillafool Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 It's pretty much over for you two. If I saw my man doing what you were doing I would never want to have sex with him again. Make sure you lock the door the next time you are with someone and get an urge to do that.
SilentVoice Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Was it her dildo? Because that is the deciding factor here.. lol I am bored at work.
skydiveaddict Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Hello, I have been dating my girlfriend for about 10 months. Recently, she found me in the bathroom inserting a dildo in my rectum. She started screaming and ran out frantically, and I haven't heard from her since. It's been about 3 days since the incident. I am dying here. I really want to talk to her, but she is not responding. Any pointers on what I should do here? I don't really see what the big deal is, but she is clearly freaked out and probably thinks I'm gay now. Yea, I've heard the 'ol dildo in the rectum thing never goes over well with girls. Better find a new gf.
Author dmxpf Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 It's pretty much over for you two. If I saw my man doing what you were doing I would never want to have sex with him again. Make sure you lock the door the next time you are with someone and get an urge to do that. That's kind of harsh, isn't it? You really think its totally over for good? I understand it would bother her to some extent, but she knows I'm not gay. I've just always had a fascination with using a dildo for that purpose. Maybe I am gay or something, but don't really seem to be attracted to men. I'm hoping she will at least be willing to talk about things. I am going to be so depressed if its really over.
Author dmxpf Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 Was it her dildo? Because that is the deciding factor here.. lol I am bored at work. No, it was not hers. It was a dildo an ex left at my place.
TaraMaiden Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Hello, I have been dating my girlfriend for about 10 months. Recently, she found me in the bathroom inserting a dildo in my rectum. She started screaming and ran out frantically, and I haven't heard from her since. It's been about 3 days since the incident. I am dying here. I really want to talk to her, but she is not responding. Any pointers on what I should do here? I don't really see what the big deal is, but she is clearly freaked out and probably thinks I'm gay now. I've got visions of her haring-scaring zig-zag down the road, buff-naked, screaming her head off and waving her arms in the air.... You mean, you never talked about this with her? You never broached the subject and get some feedback? You never told her you were curious about how it would feel....? eugh.... Bummer.......() Look. your only course of action is to lay completely low, make no contact and let her come round. if she ever does. if she doesn't then you know she was too freaked out by this to be able to cope with it. But really - keeping this kind of thing secret is ludicrous....after 10 months, you'd think you could discuss things like this a bit more openly.... If I walked in on my BF doing that, I'd quietly retreat and shut the door, and let him approach me about what happened.... So maybe she's just a bit on the innocent, naive side....?
TaraMaiden Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 That's kind of harsh, isn't it? You really think its totally over for good? I understand it would bother her to some extent, but she knows I'm not gay. you just said she probably thinks you are.... I've just always had a fascination with using a dildo for that purpose. Then you should have shared that with her openly, not kept it secret.... Maybe I am gay or something, but don't really seem to be attracted to men. Trust me, you're not gay. You'd know it if you were. But a huge amount of straight men have "gay" sex.... It's very common. A lot more common than you'd think.... http://www.webmd.com/sex/news/20060918/many-straight-men-have-gay-sex http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/gays-anatomy/200810/gay-guise-when-straight-men-have-sex-other-men I'm hoping she will at least be willing to talk about things. I am going to be so depressed if its really over. You'll just have to give her time....
Ruby Slippers Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 It's pretty much over for you two. If I saw my man doing what you were doing I would never want to have sex with him again. Make sure you lock the door the next time you are with someone and get an urge to do that. Well, that's a judgmental comment. I don't understand women's extreme reactions to guys who like butt play. Strikes me as irrational and insecure. The prostrate is up the butt, ladies. That's the male g-spot. Many, many straight men enjoy butt stimulation, and for good reason, from what I have heard. If she is this kind of person, there's not much you can do to change her mind. However, this comment makes me wonder: Maybe I am gay or something, but don't really seem to be attracted to men. Your language is wishy washy here. "Maybe I am gay... or something", "don't really seem to be attracted to men". Are you are aren't you? Are you confused? Maybe other traits suggest gay and your gf put the pieces together?
Ruby Slippers Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Then you should have shared that with her openly, not kept it secret.... That's the OP's business, and his choice whether or not he wants to talk to his gf about his private masturbatory activities.
Author dmxpf Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 No, I didn't think I was gay, but after her insane reaction maybe I'm starting to wonder. I mean I've never felt attracted to any men. The comment about a lot of straight men have gay sex? I never knew that. I don't have sex with men. I never told her because there really isn't any reason to tell her, is there?
nddb Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Your gf is immature. How many guys here would be upset if they walk in and see a GF with a dildo (or beads or butterfly or whatever) in her <fill in the blank>
CLC2008 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Well, you know how the old saying goes....
nddb Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 No, I didn't think I was gay, but after her insane reaction maybe I'm starting to wonder. I mean I've never felt attracted to any men. The comment about a lot of straight men have gay sex? I never knew that. I don't have sex with men. I never told her because there really isn't any reason to tell her, is there? naked men don't do anything for me, nor do their bits. My wife talked once about bringing home a strap-on and go at it and thought it may be a turn-on. I told her to bring it on, and I mean it. If she gets turned on by it, sure we'd try it. It's a piece of rubber or silicone for gawd's sake. But calling her bluff was enough--she hasn't mentioned it again since. Would I try it with my wife? Sure.
Author dmxpf Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 The more I think about it, I'm sure it did look pretty odd to her. I was laying on my back, butt naked on the bathroom rug. Legs wide open as I inserted the toy. If only I had locked the door, but only if I had not given her a house key either.
TaraMaiden Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 That's the OP's business, and his choice whether or not he wants to talk to his gf about his private masturbatory activities. Granted. but it would appear in this case that Discretion was not the better part of valour. I'd be curious to know why he never did bring this up as a possible sex-play scenario. I would think that if you are sexually intimate with someone, then you'd want to share some thoughts on fantasies, desires, curiosities... I would mark that as being an aspect of a healthy sexual relationship. The facts playing out here would suggest this sexual relationship was anything but.
GorillaTheater Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 The more I think about it, I'm sure it did look pretty odd to her. I was laying on my back, butt naked on the bathroom rug. Legs wide open as I inserted the toy. If only I had locked the door, but only if I had not given her a house key either. I can see how thst might have caught her by surprise. Yes, she may well be immature, but if that's the case, she's probably not going to grow up overnight and accept this part of your sexuality. As has been said, your best bet is to lay low and leave contact up to her, accepting the fact that she may not reach out at all.
GorillaTheater Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Granted. but it would appear in this case that Discretion was not the better part of valour. I'd be curious to know why he never did bring this up as a possible sex-play scenario. I would think that if you are sexually intimate with someone, then you'd want to share some thoughts on fantasies, desires, curiosities... I would mark that as being an aspect of a healthy sexual relationship. The facts playing out here would suggest this sexual relationship was anything but. Sexual communication isn't all that easy at times, particularly if the couple is young and/or embarrassed. There are definitely lessons in communication (and possibly door locks) that the OP can take away from this.
Author dmxpf Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 She never had an interest that I know of in anal activities, so why would I tell her?
CLC2008 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Oh c'mon. This thread isn't real. What guy spreads his legs mid air like that?
GorillaTheater Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 What guy spreads his legs mid air like that? What do you do with your legs during anal?
CLC2008 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 What do you do with your legs during anal? Nothing. I've never done that.
Cee Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Sexual communication isn't all that easy at times, particularly if the couple is young and/or embarrassed. There are definitely lessons in communication (and possibly door locks) that the OP can take away from this. ITA. If I saw this at age 25, I would do what the GF did. Now at 40, I would have either said "So sorry for interrupting you" or "May I join in the fun?"
Author dmxpf Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 I have a confession. Years and years ago I was anally raped, and I believe that may have contributed to my anal masturbation.
GorillaTheater Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I have a confession. Years and years ago I was anally raped, and I believe that may have contributed to my anal masturbation. I'm very sorry. I'm not qualified to say whether or not there's a connection. While it's not my thing, I think anal masturbation probably isn't uncommon and I don't see anything particularly unhealthy about it. But being raped adds an entirely new level here independent of the initial subject of this thread. Have you had the chance to work through it in counseling? How are you dealing with what happened?
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