brainygirl Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I've never hooked up, I've dated only two women, and both were serious relationships with me. I payed as much as I could, but sometimes I just couldn't, being a poor college student and all. My question is, why is it expected? Personally, I think its a double standard, and the articles I've read agree with me. I'm not alone in this thought process. I don't think men should pay all the time, in fact I get a little uncomfortable when the bill comes, but its polite on the first few dates. I said earlier that for a coffee meet up I think both parties should pay for their own. I also think that in a dedicated, on going relationship the cost of dates should be roughly fift-fifty.
collegeguy_24 Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I don't think men should pay all the time, in fact I get a little uncomfortable when the bill comes, but its polite on the first few dates. I said earlier that for a coffee meet up I think both parties should pay for their own. I also think that in a dedicated, on going relationship the cost of dates should be roughly fift-fifty. That right there, is the basis of my last relationship, and it worked well. I hope it happens again.
skydiveaddict Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I can't understand why a man wouldn't pay for his date. Then they wonder why the girl isnt interested anymore.
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 The social convention is that for the first few dates, the guy should pay for the main expense while the girl should pay for the extra expense. Example: - Guy pays for meals, girl pays for tip. - Guy pays for movie tickets, girl pays for popcorn and soda. When I go on a date and the girl doesnt attempt to expend money for us AT ALL, then my respect for her will go down the drain and I wont see her again. Its not about money. It about manners and appreciation.
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 The social convention is that for the first few dates, the guy should pay for the main expense while the girl should pay for the extra expense. Example: - Guy pays for meals, girl pays for tip. - Guy pays for movie tickets, girl pays for popcorn and soda. When I go on a date and the girl doesnt attempt to expend money for us AT ALL, then my respect for her will go down the drain and I wont see her again. Its not about money. It about manners. What if the girl has a kid(s) ? 12.00-18.00 per hour for a baby sitter... If a date lasts 4 hours then she has to pay anywhere from 48-72.00 dollars after the date.. I have always offered and paid for most baby sitters too...
TaurusTerp Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I can't understand why a man wouldn't pay for his date. Then they wonder why the girl isnt interested anymore. Perhaps he wants his relationship with a woman to start off as equals, not one person paying the other for their time. I always pay for the first date, but it's pretty easy to understand some of these other guys' frustrations with the process. You can either have a lesser position with everything paid for, or have equal rights, opportunities, AND responsibililties. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 What if the girl has a kid(s) ? 12.00-18.00 per hour for a baby sitter... If a date lasts 4 hours then she has to pay anywhere from 48-72.00 dollars after the date.. I have always offered and paid for most baby sitters too... Dude, Im 25. Im not talking about the dating life of 65 year olds.
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Dude, Im 25. Im not talking about the dating life of 65 year olds. When I was 25 I was dating women with kids.. You will too one day...
brainygirl Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Dude, Im 25. Im not talking about the dating life of 65 year olds. Uhm, yeah, I'm 28 and have three kids . . . .
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 When I was 25 I was dating women with kids.. You will too one day... Okay then what if the guy had kids too?
collegeguy_24 Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 What if the girl has a kid(s) ? 12.00-18.00 per hour for a baby sitter... If a date lasts 4 hours then she has to pay anywhere from 48-72.00 dollars after the date.. I have always offered and paid for most baby sitters too... Not everyone makes your money. I make less then a thousand dollars a semester, thats three-four months. That money goes to school books, bills, and what not, sometime if the girl makes more money then she should pay more. I try, but seriously, with my salary, it can get difficult.
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Okay then what if the guy had kids too? Chances are a guy will give them to the ex for the evening.. but if not then you have a point...
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I make less then a thousand dollars a semester, thats three-four months. That money goes to school books, bills, and what not, sometime if the girl makes more money then she should pay more. I try, but seriously, with my salary, it can get difficult. If you in school then the chances are you are dating women in school too so I guess you have to get creative.. but you should give your budget a dating line item if you want to put your best foot forward.. In college most likely the girls aren't looking for 150.00 dinners.. but they are looking for 20.00 pizza's
skydiveaddict Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Perhaps he wants his relationship with a woman to start off as equals, not one person paying the other for their time. I always pay for the first date, but it's pretty easy to understand some of these other guys' frustrations with the process. You can either have a lesser position with everything paid for, or have equal rights, opportunities, AND responsibililties. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Oh give me a break. This isn't a lesson in social responsibility. It's just the polite thing to do.
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 wow okay forget about the money, I just wanted to know if he was into me or not lol
kdark Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 wow okay forget about the money, I just wanted to know if he was into me or not lol You woke a sleeping dragon by mentioning who should pay.
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 You woke a sleeping dragon by mentioning who should pay. No kidding.....
brainygirl Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 wow okay forget about the money, I just wanted to know if he was into me or not lol haha, only the man in question can answer that. It could be he was simply grooming his profile, it could be he prescribes to the idea that men shouldn't contact women right away, he could have been busy tht day he didn't text. Or he could have decided there just weren't enough sparks and NEXT
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 haha, only the man in question can answer that. It could be he was simply grooming his profile, it could be he prescribes to the idea that men shouldn't contact women right away, he could have been busy tht day he didn't text. Or he could have decided there just weren't enough sparks and NEXT yeah he added other stuff to his profile too, but still
TaurusTerp Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Oh give me a break. This isn't a lesson in social responsibility. It's just the polite thing to do. why dont you pay to be polite? The fact of the matter is that you want to keep some archaic traditions that you like while discarding the others.
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 What is Megan Fox doing asking for dating advices online anyway?
skydiveaddict Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 why dont you pay to be polite? The fact of the matter is that you want to keep some archaic traditions that you like while discarding the others. What others? Besides, it seems like now the op doesn't care if he paid or not. Another useless thread
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 What is Megan Fox doing asking for dating advices online anyway? Just an avatar What others? Besides, it seems like now the op doesn't care if he paid or not. Another useless thread I don't care anymore i'm probably over re-acting as usual
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I don't care anymore i'm probably over re-acting as usual Dont feel bad. 99% of threads started by female posters here are variants of overreaction.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I think it's best for a guy to be kind of stingy up front, and then generous once you have some mutual interest. In the past I've always paid. If she paid anything I took it as a sign she wasn't interested. Recently, I've found that not paying weeds out the shallow skeezebag women that only care for money and status. That's my current theory. I think women who are overly shallow are really bothered by a guy not paying for them, and women who are not pay more attention to how much effort you put into contacting them and how you act towards them.
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