d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I met up with this guy for coffee he didn't pay, today he changed his looking for on his profile he had just "looking for a relationship" today he added "friendship" & "dating" wtf I thought he was into me since he said he liked hanging out with me & texted me afterwards complimenting me, I haven't really heard from him today what can this all mean? not into me?
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Maybe he just didn't like the coffee ? What kind was it ? He changed his profile for whatever reason.. it most likely didn't have anything to do with you.. Next....
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Maybe he just didn't like the coffee ? What kind was it ? He changed his profile for whatever reason.. it most likely didn't have anything to do with you.. Next.... I meant he didnt pay for my drink
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Who invited whom? The inviter has to pay.
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Who invited whom? The inviter has to pay. no one really we both decided to meet up
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I meant he didnt pay for my drink I was only kidding... In the real world I think "it is only coffee" ?? what 2-3 bucks ? I'm all for the guy paying as that is the way I do it but if you are complaining about 2-3 bucks.. hummm.. did he offer ? Has he paid for other outings ? Honestly it seems like he is dating to date and not dating for a GF... Next...
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 I was only kidding... In the real world I think "it is only coffee" ?? what 2-3 bucks ? I'm all for the guy paying as that is the way I do it but if you are complaining about 2-3 bucks.. hummm.. did he offer ? Has he paid for other outings ? Honestly it seems like he is dating to date and not dating for a GF... Next... we met online, so that was the first time we met
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 we met online, so that was the first time we met Then the guy is still looking for the one.. Next...
brainygirl Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 In may general rules, which may or may not be accurate, if its a meet up or first contact after meeting on line, it isn't really a date and you each pay for your own. If he then asks you out on a DATE, he pays. After that, it should be a mix of both paying and both visiting things you can both afford. But that's just me. And if you aren't exclusively dating him, keep looking and don't think another thing about it.
collegeguy_24 Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 In may general rules, which may or may not be accurate, if its a meet up or first contact after meeting on line, it isn't really a date and you each pay for your own. If he then asks you out on a DATE, he pays. After that, it should be a mix of both paying and both visiting things you can both afford. But that's just me. And if you aren't exclusively dating him, keep looking and don't think another thing about it. Pretty much true. But heres a question for you Doll, why is it such a big deal that the guy has to pay? In fact, why is it a big deal that the guy has to pay for everything anyways?
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Pretty much true. But heres a question for you Doll, why is it such a big deal that the guy has to pay? In fact, why is it a big deal that the guy has to pay for everything anyways? I just thought if he was so attracted to me/liked me he would pay whether its a first meeting or not
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 no one really we both decided to meet up So why did he have to pay? Dont you have dignity? In my opinion for something so cheap as a cup of coffee, the guy should have at least offered and you should have refused. I just thought if he was so attracted to me/liked me he would pay whether its a first meeting or not LOL So did you not pay for his coffee because you werent attracted to him?
collegeguy_24 Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Personally, and I hope I don't come off as a jerk, but this is just my thought. I can't stand it when women always expect men to pay for everything. Not all women are like that, in fact my recent ex wasn't, but my first ex was. Its a matter of politeness to offer to pay, even if on a date, but to expect it is rude and selfish. Not to mention it sets to whole feminist movement back and is contradictory. I would like to hear thoughts before I explain in a lengthy post my opinion.
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I dislike people who 'expect' in general. I may be judgmental but for someone who describes herself as 'DOLL', I cant say I can say much. LOL
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 I dislike people who 'expect' in general. I may be judgmental but for someone who describes herself as 'DOLL', I cant say I can say much. LOL I have no problem paying for myself but he didnt even OFFER & DOLL is a name
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I just thought if he was so attracted to me/liked me he would pay whether its a first meeting or not Well.. to be honest.. if it were me I would never let the girl pay.. regardless of whether or not I liked her or not or if there were sparks or not.. That is the way I am.. and originally I thought you guys had hung out more than once so I thought he just didn't pick up the tab for whatever reason.. The guy is just a smutz.. he didn't hit it off with you so he didn't pay for your coffee.. but you are also upset about it.. and that really isn't all that cool either since it was just coffee and not a real date with dinner and such...
collegeguy_24 Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I have no problem paying for myself but he didnt even OFFER & DOLL is a name Again, why should he offer? You are both independent people, you can pay for your own stuff. You are only coming off as selfish on here.
Art_Critic Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Again, why should he offer? You are both independent people, you can pay for your own stuff. You are only coming off as selfish on here. Well dude.. he should offer... come on... Good manners and he is trying to put his best foot forward.. right ? but it should all be kept in perspective as well.. it was only coffee.. so in the end no biggie
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Well dude.. he should offer... come on... Good manners and he is trying to put his best foot forward.. right ? but it should all be kept in perspective as well.. it was only coffee.. so in the end no biggie yeah its called being polite, I wouldnt have let him pay for me anyway its just manners but i'm guessing he's not interested anyway since he changed his profile & hasnt texted me all day
collegeguy_24 Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Answer me this, why is it the guy always has to offer to pay? In what world is it required, cause thats what you guys are saying. Personally, I believe in paying, if I can afford it. But you guys sound like its a requirement.
brainygirl Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Answer me this, why is it the guy always has to offer to pay? In what world is it required, cause thats what you guys are saying. Personally, I believe in paying, if I can afford it. But you guys sound like its a requirement. I'm guessing you are pretty young, but in dating, not hooking up or hanging out, but dating, the male is expected to offer to pay the first few times. Its expected like you guys expect women to do their best to look like movie starlets.
Author d0ll Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Answer me this, why is it the guy always has to offer to pay? In what world is it required, cause thats what you guys are saying. Personally, I believe in paying, if I can afford it. But you guys sound like its a requirement. I'm guessing you are pretty young, but in dating, not hooking up or hanging out, but dating, the male is expected to offer to pay the first few times. Its expected like you guys expect women to do their best to look like movie starlets. THANK YOU .. I guess everyone is raised differently
collegeguy_24 Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I'm guessing you are pretty young, but in dating, not hooking up or hanging out, but dating, the male is expected to offer to pay the first few times. Its expected like you guys expect women to do their best to look like movie starlets. I've never hooked up, I've dated only two women, and both were serious relationships with me. I payed as much as I could, but sometimes I just couldn't, being a poor college student and all. My question is, why is it expected? Personally, I think its a double standard, and the articles I've read agree with me. I'm not alone in this thought process.
jamesum Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I hate women who expect men to spend money on them to death. But there is indeed such a thing as good manners. Even when I go out with my guy friends, if I can afford it (like getting ice creams) I will offer or even insist to pay for them. I enjoy giving when I can. Its expected like you guys expect women to do their best to look like movie starlets. To be fair, these days especially young men take good care of their looks as well. Its not like we go on a date looking like we just woke up.
SilentVoice Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Wait , did you pay for his coffee? Or just yours. I personally think it will have been the noble thing for him to do so. I have been on dates . I have offered to pay for dinner dates, haven't yet.I usually try to leave a tip but guys tend to get offended by that.Any I will usually try to pay for activities or may make a meal or say if we are going to the park if he pays for entrance I pay for the waters. Usually with guys who make as much as me or more. But I see no reason why he couldn't pay for a measly cup of coffee. "NEXT"
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