tigressA Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I think the only thing really holding me back from wanting kids is all my worries. I worry about possible complications from pregnancy, I worry I won't love my baby, I worry I'll be a bad mom. I really just am not sure if I'm mother material. I didn't grow up around kids significantly younger than myself. I had a couple of babysitting gigs but neither of them involved heavy interaction with the kid. I never really knew what to do around my little baby cousins when I still used to spend time with my extended family. Maybe I should just wait until I hit 30 and see if I get attacked by baby fever.
Disillusioned Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I never wanted kids when I was younger, and I still don't want them now that I'm 42. But then, I'm a weirdo anyways, and my reasons for not wanting to be a daddy are pretty atypical to say the least... My kidhood was not a happy time. I was raised by family members who grew up in the Depression and they were terrified they'd spoil me if they got me a few decent toys to play with. I glumly watched the delinquent boys down the street whose mothers were welfare moochers... those boys got BB guns, go-karts, and all the cool toys. What did I get? Underwear! On top of that, my mother secretly hated me until I was high school age because she thought I looked like my father. I thought a few times of having 2 daughters, but I'd never bring a kid into this sorry dystopian world. I'd get clapped into jail for giving them BB guns and go-karts. And what if the kid turns out to be stupid and doesn't know you're not supposed to start the barbecue with gasoline? Sorry, but a kid who doesn't have all their sense is a risk I'm not willing to take.
Author terra Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 i worry about those things too... like the 24 hour responsibility -even when you are sick or just don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning you have. Most kids go through a stage where they don't like/don't listen to their parents. Doesn't seem pleasant. My list of reasons why I didn't want kids is pretty long. So it's despite my objective rationale that I'm feeling this way and that's my problem. Thanks for your reply! I think the only thing really holding me back from wanting kids is all my worries. I worry about possible complications from pregnancy, I worry I won't love my baby, I worry I'll be a bad mom. I really just am not sure if I'm mother material. I didn't grow up around kids significantly younger than myself. I had a couple of babysitting gigs but neither of them involved heavy interaction with the kid. I never really knew what to do around my little baby cousins when I still used to spend time with my extended family. Maybe I should just wait until I hit 30 and see if I get attacked by baby fever.
denise_xo Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I've never wanted children, and it's a deal breaker for me in relation to men. I'm in my mid-thirties and the biological clock still hasn't kicked in. I say just let it sink in for a while and if you still want children a year or longer down the line, just go for it and enjoy. Life doesn't always (most of the time?) unfold according to our 'objective rationales'... (I like your av btw, great movie).
Crazy Magnet Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 My ovaries started acting out at about 29. I think losing my mother a few years before that really kicked my desire for a family up a notch or 100 when I got close to 30. Prior to this I was content pursuing my career, traveling the world, picking up and moving at the drop of a hat. My dog and I had a good thing going and it worked for me. After caring for my Mom while she died I realized that all the things I was placing value on were not the things that were going to be there for me in the end. My career wasn't going to stay up all night with me if I was barfing from chemo. My world travels would be nice memories, but my souvenirs wouldn't help me bathe when I was too weak to stand up. Now I'm approaching 31 and my ovaries are practically shouting at me! ha! ETA to reproducing 1 year and 3 months. lol
tami-chan Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Whats with people who want to have a lot of kids? I wonder if it is motivated by ignorance of the world or simple selfishness. In my opinion everywhere there should be a law against having more than two children. LOL...you remind of that Asian guy who held the Discovery channel personnel hostage! "NO MORE BABIES! Population growth is a real crisis," he said... anyway, OP, what you are experiencing happens a lot! Nothing to get overly anxious about. Now go find your sperm donor!
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