Hopeful30 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I'm not ugly, I don't bitch or nag, I LOVE sex, i'm not jealous, or clingy or needy. I'm smart, i'm outgoing, and i'm fun. I want my boyfriend to WANT to go out with his buddies, or go to the gym, or play golf. Yet it seems that the only men that I attract are manipulative a**holes. Why not the good guys? Why don't they approach me? Am I too tall? Am I too frienly? Why is it the ugly, rude, unappreciative b*tches get all the good guys and perfect women like me are left alone?
tman666 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 perfect women Pobody's Nerfect, sweetheart. Perhaps the nice guys sense this attitude and figure they don't want to deal with someone with this view of themselves?
Loxx Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 perfect women like me Maybe this? :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::lmao:
Author Hopeful30 Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 In comparison to some people who have found love, I could be called perfect. Of course no one is perfect, but considering the fact that I don't have most of the qualities that qualify as "bad girlfriend" i dont see why im single.
GooseChaser Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Good self-esteem and confidence are strengths, and it will help you that you have those qualities. However, don't act too full of yourself, as that is a turn-off. Otherwise, keep up the confidence and be yourself! As long as you do that, you will eventually attract someone. Maybe you just haven't met the right person yet. Patience is a virtue. It's also important to be happy in life single and show it. Keep looking, and don't give up!
Author Hopeful30 Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 Thank you GooseChaser I appreciate the positivity
ConflictedGuy27 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 where do you normally meet the men you date, OP?
generator456 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I’m still single because all my life I’ve watched relationships fall apart. My mom has been beaten by bad boyfriends, and my dad has been clawed by bad girlfriends. My stepdad’s wife was a bitch until he finally dumped her and made sure it was clear that he had, indeed, been banging my mom for the past five years. My ex-best friend dumped me overboard for her very first boyfriend, because I asked her not to put her everything into this relationship because she would only get hurt. Look who’s dating nice and safe with a freshmen now, after her first BF dumped her a couple months after he took her virginity.
Lovelybird Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Only when you are in a relationship, then you will know if you are jealous or not. anyway, if you only attract a****les, then you should look into yourself more, why do you choose certain types
alexlakeman Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 OP, b/c u r "perfect" and no guy is perfect for you. Lol. U gotta say "I want these five things in a guy, but I have to decide which of the five I can do without" and find ur guy, not everyone is going to have all d qualities ur looking for in a "perfect" man lol. I'd love to catch a pic of u since ur perfect; must be a hot body & face!!
Westy Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 In all fairness to the OP, when she said perfect woman, I think she was simply stating in alot of mens minds, she has qualities many men would find to be "perfect" as in usually men bitch about their women, not wanting to get it on, nagging, clingy etc. So I dont think she was stating for a fact, she is perfect.
Author Hopeful30 Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 In all fairness to the OP, when she said perfect woman, I think she was simply stating in alot of mens minds, she has qualities many men would find to be "perfect" as in usually men bitch about their women, not wanting to get it on, nagging, clingy etc. So I dont think she was stating for a fact, she is perfect. Thank you, at least someone knows what I mean lol
Author Hopeful30 Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 anyway, if you only attract a****les, then you should look into yourself more, why do you choose certain types lol they choose ME, the men I have had relationships with are the ones who actually got my number and bothered calling me, so they choose me, I didn't have much other choice
tigressA Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 lol they choose ME, the men I have had relationships with are the ones who actually got my number and bothered calling me, so they choose me, I didn't have much other choice Wrong. You ALWAYS have a choice. You have the choice to not get involved with those guys who "chose" you, for instance. You have the choice to approach guys you find interesting. Saying you don't have a choice or much of one is extremely self-limiting. Why do that to yourself?
Author Hopeful30 Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 Wrong. You ALWAYS have a choice. You have the choice to not get involved with those guys who "chose" you, for instance. You have the choice to approach guys you find interesting. Saying you don't have a choice or much of one is extremely self-limiting. Why do that to yourself? Well if I choose not to date them, then I would be alone and single my whole life. I do approach men, but when they take my number or my email, they seem interested and then I never hear from them again.
Woggle Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Subconciously you are doing something to sabotage yourself. Ask any man and he will tell he wants a woman that will treat him well so I think it might be a good idea for you to look into your subconcious.
tigressA Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Well if I choose not to date them, then I would be alone and single my whole life. I do approach men, but when they take my number or my email, they seem interested and then I never hear from them again. Are you really saying that you'd rather date guys who you feel aren't right for you rather than be alone? You'd rather date a******s than be alone?
Author Hopeful30 Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) Are you really saying that you'd rather date guys who you feel aren't right for you rather than be alone? You'd rather date a******s than be alone? I dont think many people will admit this but yes. I would rather be with an ******* (to an extent of course, I wouldn't tolerate abuse) than be alone. I am so lonely and it frustrates me because I don't understand why. If I would rather be alone, I would still be a virgin and would not know what a relationship is. Besides, I give these men a chance. They only turn out to be a**holes AFTER we begin dating, never upfront. So i'm kind of in a rut there too. It takes time to really get to know someone, and so far, it only gets worse as time goes on. Edited September 25, 2010 by Hopeful30
sanskrit Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 The first thing you need to consider is that a bad relationship is worse than no relationship at all. Time you spend in the bad ones is time you would have been single and open to better prospects. The second thing is that stating you aren't meeting the right men as a woman and that you don't have much choice is not going to get you much sympathy. If you are even average in looks, going where single men are will get you more prospects, simple as that. It's not some terrible, difficult ordeal for average women to meet men, just a matter of getting out more or putting up an online profile and picking and choosing among all the Emails you will get from the 10:1 ratio of men to women online dating.
atlnay Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) I dont think many people will admit this but yes. I would rather be with an ******* (to an extent of course, I wouldn't tolerate abuse) than be alone. I am so lonely and it frustrates me because I don't understand why. If I would rather be alone, I would still be a virgin and would not know what a relationship is. Besides, I give these men a chance. They only turn out to be a**holes AFTER we begin dating, never upfront. So i'm kind of in a rut there too. It takes time to really get to know someone, and so far, it only gets worse as time goes on. I think you are very brave to admit that and agree with you that most people won't admit that. I am alone a LOT but I am never lonely and I think a huge part is that I entertain myself for hours on end (an only child) I am very comfortable in my own skin and because I'm such an empathetic person, when I am with another person (male or female) I GIVE so much emotions to them and whatever it is we are doing, I'm drained and like to be alone to recharge and reflect sometimes. I don't really have much advice to offer, the bolded part stood out to me most. Edited September 25, 2010 by atlnay
generator456 Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 If I had a euro for every time I wondered that: Why am I still single. It's a question more than half of American women ask themselves, according to a report the New York Times put out in early 2009. This data includes women who live apart from their significant others, but all independent variables aside it's a figure that's rocketed significantly in the last couple decades.
hardlover Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 (edited) Easy answer people fall in love,"USUALLY" then they complement each other. From experience, people who have high empathy, attract,get in love, with people with love empathy. Me for instance, im an *******,manipulative etc, and i only get good girls, are very empathical However, im trying to change myself, as i cant see a relationship last, me being an *******. i hope you understand that an bad gay cant pull this **** on a girl with low empathy, she will get angry, and not FEEL they connect. Edited September 27, 2010 by hardlover
SincereOnlineGuy Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I'm guessing it isn't very easy for the OP to have come this far in a thread without hinting to others that she's far less than she implies. (Translation: so far this IS a likely good prospect) First question I'm inclined to wonder is: What is your father like??? Is he still around your life? Is he still with your mother??? How did/does your father treat you? I have a female friend of similar age to you and she seems as if she'd be a great catch for someone, and yet she is as single as can be. There are seldom even tales of dates. She's in a career where suitable male candidates are not hovering all around, and which keeps her fairly busy on most weeknights and some weekends. The danger in agreeing to date and mate with as*holes lies in the idea that we become more attracted to people as we get close to them. So getting intimate with an as*hole might one day seal your social fate. Just keep believing in yourself, and understand that lots of those people who are going on lots of dates are drawn to one another because of their flaws. They will keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. The kinds of mates that you want are those who have much better long-term track records, and indeed it isn't that easy to catch them "single". Yet for your so-far-lack-of-drama, you need only net "ONE" catch! Keep up the faith.
hardlover Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I'm guessing it isn't very easy for the OP to have come this far in a thread without hinting to others that she's far less than she implies. (Translation: so far this IS a likely good prospect) First question I'm inclined to wonder is: What is your father like??? Is he still around your life? Is he still with your mother??? How did/does your father treat you? I have a female friend of similar age to you and she seems as if she'd be a great catch for someone, and yet she is as single as can be. There are seldom even tales of dates. She's in a career where suitable male candidates are not hovering all around, and which keeps her fairly busy on most weeknights and some weekends. The danger in agreeing to date and mate with as*holes lies in the idea that we become more attracted to people as we get close to them. So getting intimate with an as*hole might one day seal your social fate. Just keep believing in yourself, and understand that lots of those people who are going on lots of dates are drawn to one another because of their flaws. They will keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. The kinds of mates that you want are those who have much better long-term track records, and indeed it isn't that easy to catch them "single". Yet for your so-far-lack-of-drama, you need only net "ONE" catch! Keep up the faith. There is of course an option for the daddy issue, but this usually follows with an unusually flirty behaviour, and desperate need for male recognition. Since she has grown up without a father, she hasnt seen how a father shoud treat a women, and therefore accept bad behaviour from men. However flirty behaviour, may also come from extremeley manipulative girls, who has some sort of psychotic behaviour, where this charming, flirting behaviour is used to lure men. Though, these usually attract good guys, since they have low empathy levels. My guess is still, from your description that you have very high empathy levels, and it may be coupled with a problem of accepting bad behaviour.
Author Hopeful30 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 I'm guessing it isn't very easy for the OP to have come this far in a thread without hinting to others that she's far less than she implies. (Translation: so far this IS a likely good prospect) First question I'm inclined to wonder is: What is your father like??? Is he still around your life? Is he still with your mother??? How did/does your father treat you? . After 30 years of marriage my father is still very in love with my mother, he treats her like a queen. He was always very good to me, spoils me a lot as well hehe
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