Citizen Erased Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 He may have just been reading it for the sake of it, calm down. I go into threads that have zero relevance to my life all the time.
threebyfate Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Wish I could reassure you that it's too soon but from my own experience, not necessarily. Some guys seem to know what they want pretty quickly.
Author tigressA Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 Yeah, I'm with you on that one TBF. He's one of those guys. It's taken some getting used to. I'm still working on being fully comfortable with it due to my own long-standing commitment issues. I do adore him, so that helps a lot. It's not that what I saw wasn't something I hadn't heard about from him before. It was like...additional proof, beyond just his word, that that's what he wants. I agree that it doesn't mean he wants to get married now or anytime soon, just that...I feel we're on different wavelengths because clearly, he knows what he wants, and well...I'm still not totally sure.
threebyfate Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I had my own moments of uncertainty even after accepting his proposal but there was no reason to fear. If your guy's the man you believe he is, he'll lead you there with both words and actions!
Citizen Erased Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I feel we're on different wavelengths because clearly, he knows what he wants, and well...I'm still not totally sure. Understandable given the amount of time you guys have been together, that you aren't sure. It worked for TBF, her guy being so sure of what he wanted, but it won't for everyone. Doesn't really seem to me that it will for you but I could be wrong. If he is thinking what you think, you really should tell him he's going at a pace you're not comfortable with. You have a great guy and he has an even better girl and it'd be a shame if a simple communication early on could have prevented some bigger problems down the line.
Author tigressA Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) I had my own moments of uncertainty even after accepting his proposal but there was no reason to fear. If your guy's the man you believe he is, he'll lead you there with both words and actions! I think he is. I've been shocking myself at turns with how I've been feeling. I've made a lot of progress just by being in this relationship and identifying the root causes of my feelings. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I miss him. Really, just miss him. We don't get to see each other very often--every weekend at best. I'm secure in the knowledge that we're together, that we have deep feelings for each other. I just miss seeing him and being around him, for the sake of seeing him and being around him--nothing more. I realized that in prior involvements, the feeling of me "missing" a guy was driven primarily by my insecurities that I hadn't been addressing. My "missing" was mostly incessant curiosity over what he was doing, why he hadn't called in x amount of time, blah blah. But this time around, I think, "I wish we were doing x together right now" or "I can't wait to see him again". I'm no longer afraid to make my needs known, and he's been meeting them. This is why I feel so secure. I learned the lesson that to get a little, you have to give a little. Edited September 25, 2010 by tigressA
aerogurl87 Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I think he is. I've been shocking myself at turns with how I've been feeling. I've made a lot of progress just by being in this relationship and identifying the root causes of my feelings. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but I miss him. Really, just miss him. We don't get to see each other very often--every weekend at best. I'm secure in the knowledge that we're together, that we have deep feelings for each other. I just miss seeing him and being around him, for the sake of seeing him and being around him--nothing more. I realized that in prior involvements, the feeling of me "missing" a guy was driven primarily by my insecurities that I hadn't been addressing. My "missing" was mostly incessant curiosity over what he was doing, why he hadn't called in x amount of time, blah blah. But this time around, I think, "I wish we were doing x together right now" or "I can't wait to see him again". I'm no longer afraid to make my needs known, and he's been meeting them. This is why I feel so secure. I learned the lesson that to get a little, you have to give a little. Aww and that is exactly how being with someone in a relationship should feel. Just take things slow and if you feel like he's moving too fast for you take a cue from Bobby Valentino and tell him "slow down I just want to get to know ya" haha.
Author tigressA Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) Understandable given the amount of time you guys have been together, that you aren't sure. It worked for TBF, her guy being so sure of what he wanted, but it won't for everyone. Doesn't really seem to me that it will for you but I could be wrong. If he is thinking what you think, you really should tell him he's going at a pace you're not comfortable with. You have a great guy and he has an even better girl and it'd be a shame if a simple communication early on could have prevented some bigger problems down the line. Like I said before, we have talked about it pretty extensively already, and I did wonder then if it was perhaps too soon to discuss it. But it was mostly regarding the cultural differences--it seemed like he wanted to know if I felt something would be too difficult/frustrating to go through with him. Additionally, he isn't a U.S. citizen, so that complicates things--kind of like you and Pyro. To clarify, when I said I'm not totally sure, I mean that I really never gave much thought to marriage at all, prior to this relationship. It all seemed like a vague dream to me up until now. Now it's shaping up to be a real (future) possibility and I'm just working on getting used to it. I'm in love with him; I know this for sure. I know that I want to see him much more often than I get to. Marriage? Right now the idea just seems a bit...daunting. I feel like I think that way now because it's still early in the relationship. I think with some more time, presuming things continue to go well, that I will want to marry him. So it seems to just be a matter of playing catch-up. Edited September 25, 2010 by tigressA
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