U1987 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I really feel like this one particular girl is giving me the run-around (I think I'm noticing a pattern with college girls). I started talking to this girl I've seen around campus. She gave me her number the first time we met, and I called the next day to make a date for Thursday night. Like this other girl I was talking about a few weeks ago, she gave me the "Let-me-get-back-to-you," and waits until Thursday night (after I've cleared my schedule in case she was available) to say she's unavailable. I suggested Monday and she said "I might be doing stuff with my friends. I'll call you back." She never called me back. We say hi and she stops to talk to me every time we see each other on campus. She even comes over to me when I'm sitting far away. But she never calls or texts me first on the phone. She never initiates an invitation to hang out. She never suggests an alternative to those canceled dates. I texted her last night asking if she was free tonight. I didn't even ask for a date. I simply texted "Hey, you free after you get out of your club?" No call or text back yet. I just wanna know, is there anything I can do to make this girl commit to a time and a place to meet? Or should I just say "I give up?" Literally, as in actually text the words "I give up" back to her.
USMCHokie Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I really feel like this one particular girl is giving me the run-around (I think I'm noticing a pattern with college girls). I started talking to this girl I've seen around campus. She gave me her number the first time we met, and I called the next day to make a date for Thursday night. Like this other girl I was talking about a few weeks ago, she gave me the "Let-me-get-back-to-you," and waits until Thursday night (after I've cleared my schedule in case she was available) to say she's unavailable. I suggested Monday and she said "I might be doing stuff with my friends. I'll call you back." She never called me back. The moment a girl does this, she is completely written off. She isn't doing the "run around." She's straight up not interested. Literally, as in actually text the words "I give up" back to her. I will hunt you down and slap the sh*t out of you with a boat paddle if you do this. And don't consider it "giving up." It's not wasting time with those who aren't interested.
Cee Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 ^ USMC Hokie nailed it. The only reason she talks to you on campus is she likes the idea that you are into her. It's makes her feel special to talk to you in public. But she'll never give you the time of day in private. Forget her. Delete her #. I've been there too. Just ran into a guy who cancelled our first date at an event. I said hi, but then pretended he didn't exist. And after 10 minutes, I forgot he existed.
loverofloveandstuff Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Yeah, please do not sayyyy that. She's sort of interested but not enough to care enough if you ever contact her again. I know the drill, I feel like I'm reading about myself lol. More than anything, it' s just a bit of an ego feeder.
Author U1987 Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 The moment a girl does this, she is completely written off. She isn't doing the "run around." She's straight up not interested. I will hunt you down and slap the sh*t out of you with a boat paddle if you do this. And don't consider it "giving up." It's not wasting time with those who aren't interested. I'm really upset about this now. I don't understand why a lot of girls do this. It's NOT okay. But why shouldn't I tell a girl who does this that it's not okay?
USMCHokie Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I'm really upset about this now. I don't understand why a lot of girls do this. It's NOT okay. But why shouldn't I tell a girl who does this that it's not okay? I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Women don't owe men anything, just as men don't owe women anything. Just because you asked her out doesn't mean she has to go on the date, respond, or even be courteous to you. Yea, she might be a douche, but that's her perogative. You just have to get over it, grow some thicker skin, and learn to avoid women like this. Next, please.
Author U1987 Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 I've said it before, and I'll say it again... Women don't owe men anything, just as men don't owe women anything. Just because you asked her out doesn't mean she has to go on the date, respond, or even be courteous to you. Yea, she might be a douche, but that's her perogative. Yeah, but that affects me, and everyone she interacts with. Wouldn't I be doing her a favor by calling her out this? Wouldn't I be teaching her that it's not okay to behave this way with guys? wouldn't that be making her a better person?
Rorschach Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Yeah, but that affects me, and everyone she interacts with. Wouldn't I be doing her a favor by calling her out this? Wouldn't I be teaching her that it's not okay to behave this way with guys? wouldn't that be making her a better person? nope <character limit>
loverofloveandstuff Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Yeah, but that affects me, and everyone she interacts with. Wouldn't I be doing her a favor by calling her out this? Wouldn't I be teaching her that it's not okay to behave this way with guys? wouldn't that be making her a better person? Mate, you don't even know the girl. It's not your job to help her 'become a better person.' Why do you assume she doesn't already know what she's doing isn't very nice? Fact of the matter is, she most probably does know and doesn't care. If some random guy tried to give me a life lesson on how to treat men, I wouldn't be pleased. She would probably just take it as an emotional response from you rejecting her. Which it is.
Star Gazer Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I said this TWICE, two years apart, to the same guy. I became exasperated by what I believed was gamesmanship, and told him literally "I give up!" Each time, he reacted in a way that seemed positive...trying harder, etc. But then the games would start up again. I just don't think it'll do you any good. At best she'll respond the way my guy did, and just keep wasting your time.
shadowplay Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 And after 10 minutes, I forgot he existed. I love this!
loverofloveandstuff Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 She would probably just take it as an emotional response from you rejecting her. QUOTE] I meant from her rejecting you
Author U1987 Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 So what do I do when I see her on campus and she comes over and talk to me? Because she will? Just play cold-shoulder or ignore her outright?"
Author U1987 Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 I'm pretty sure I will see this girl today. What should I do or say when she tries to come and talk to me?
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 To text something like that to someone you barely know screams of insecurity and juvenile attention-seeking attitude. You should've given up the first time she failed to call you back. It's likely that now, every time she gets a call or text from you, she rolls her eyes and goes "Ugh, when is this guy going to get the message?!" But she either doesn't have the balls or enjoys the attention too much to give it to you straight. Why not just let your actions do the talking? Say nothing beyond a friendly greeting when you see her in person (if you even want to do that) and ignore her texts and calls, if there are any. She'll get the message.
Cee Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 There is no drama here. I have crushes on guys and I still talk to them. They aren't into me romantically, but I still think they are fun to talk to. I don't get mad that they don't want to date me. Sometimes I swoon inside, but it's not a bad feeling b/c I have no expectations for more. You have two choices. When she chats you up, have a nice talk and then move along. Or, act like you are busy and find a way to detach from the interaction. If you act aloof, eventually she'll stop accosting you.
dispatch3d Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Meh, I wouldn't bother inviting her to anything.
Author U1987 Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 To text something like that to someone you barely know screams of insecurity and juvenile attention-seeking attitude. You should've given up the first time she failed to call you back. It's likely that now, every time she gets a call or text from you, she rolls her eyes and goes "Ugh, when is this guy going to get the message?!" But she either doesn't have the balls or enjoys the attention too much to give it to you straight. Why not just let your actions do the talking? Say nothing beyond a friendly greeting when you see her in person (if you even want to do that) and ignore her texts and calls, if there are any. She'll get the message. A friendly greeting won't be enough. This girl will come up and have a conversation with me regardless of whether or not I ask her to come over, which is why it's so confusing and frustrating she won't commit to a single, measly date. I'm really upset and annoyed with her right now. What's it going to take to get her to know that I feel that way the next time she insists on coming up to me? Telling her straight up? A dirty look when she says hi? Simply not responding when she comes and talks to me? (I'm not being sarcastic; I'd really be okay doing one/all of these things) What do I do then if she says why or what's up?
CLC2008 Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Like someone once told me, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink it".
mohdhm Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 goodness guys lets just beat him with a boat paddle already
SarahRose Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 You really want to know what to do next time she tries to talk to you? Tell her to **** off you're busy. Young insecure girls lap this up.
sanskrit Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Women don't owe men anything, just as men don't owe women anything. If someone says, "I'll call you" and you just met them, or if you asked a strange girl for a phone number and then called her, of course women don't owe men anything, nor vice versa. However, when you approach someone on campus and act like an acquaintance of theirs, talk to them, what have you... in person, especially over a course of time, you do in fact owe someone basic courtesy, to match words to actions. Or else you are a rude jerk, male or female. Of course it isn't practiced that way today, but doesn't change the plain fact of rudeness. But OP do not call her on this. People like this are not going to take any responsibility or accountability for their rudeness. It's like telling a lawn chair not to be rude in effect, it absolutely won't register in any meaningful way, and just wastes more of your time.
Bogo123 Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 A friendly greeting won't be enough. This girl will come up and have a conversation with me regardless of whether or not I ask her to come over, which is why it's so confusing and frustrating she won't commit to a single, measly date. I'm really upset and annoyed with her right now. What's it going to take to get her to know that I feel that way the next time she insists on coming up to me? Telling her straight up? A dirty look when she says hi? Simply not responding when she comes and talks to me? (I'm not being sarcastic; I'd really be okay doing one/all of these things) What do I do then if she says why or what's up? Take the high road and be nice, but be aloof at the same time and end the interaction asap. Being angry or negative won't help the situation at all, even though I know its tempting to "punish her." The fact that she can make you so sensitive and emotional over this will make her look down on you more and feel superior. Don't give her that satisfaction. Don't be reactive and just talk to other girls that are actually interested in you.
Author U1987 Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 Take the high road and be nice, but be aloof at the same time and end the interaction asap. Being angry or negative won't help the situation at all, even though I know its tempting to "punish her." The fact that she can make you so sensitive and emotional over this will make her look down on you more and feel superior. That is not true. I've made a girl cry and apologize after telling her off for leading me on. I'm really tempted to do it again. I'm really not happy with the way things turned out with this girl. Why give a guy hope when you're not interested? Why is one date so much to ask? I'm really on the verge of just messaging her, "Wow I give up! You said you wanted to go out, you always come talk to me, but every time I ask you out, you ignore me or don't get back to me. It's really inconsistent and annoying. I don't appreciate being led on. Don't bother talking to me when you see me on campus."
USMCHokie Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 That is not true. I've made a girl cry and apologize after telling her off for leading me on. I'm really tempted to do it again. Wow...really...? I'm really on the verge of just messaging her, "Wow I give up! You said you wanted to go out, you always come talk to me, but every time I ask you out, you ignore me or don't get back to me. It's really inconsistent and annoying. I don't appreciate being led on. Don't bother talking to me when you see me on campus." The only thing that this will accomplish is that she'll tell everyone that you're that jackass who gets all butthurt when a girl rejects him...but then again, you might also make her laugh...girls dig funny guys...
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