Confusedalways Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I need help getting over this. I often browse (or shall I say lurk) the online dating websites. A few months ago I saw a guy who really caught my interest, I signed up and we talked, obviously it did not pan out. Anyway I quickly deleted my profile (before the trial was up, wahoo!) and now I'm browsing again. I'm finding a few I'm really interested in but for some reason I'm SO embarrassed of being seen on there! Some of my male friends are on there and it just feels really, really weird to me. Can anyone relate? How did you get over it? Obviously I'm going to suck it up to talk to one or two of these guys, but I can't seem to get over being thought of as socially inept
USMCHokie Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Welcome to 2010...online dating has become the social norm rather than a taboo dating avenue for the socially awkward...it really becomes a matter of simply getting over it...pulling your head from out of your ass, so to speak... So why not take advantage of all online dating has to offer, have some fun, and meet some people?
Bogo123 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I agree with USMCHokie. Its pretty much the norm these days. Even my buddies that have serious game are online. Its just another avenue to meet people.
Author Confusedalways Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 Welcome to 2010...online dating has become the social norm rather than a taboo dating avenue for the socially awkward...it really becomes a matter of simply getting over it...pulling your head from out of your ass, so to speak... So why not take advantage of all online dating has to offer, have some fun, and meet some people? Hokie, lol! I guess I was just wondering if I was alone in my thoughts, but I will forge ahead, I guess...!
sanskrit Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I'm embarrassed that I wasted so much time and money seeking women the old-fashioned way before trying online dating.
USMCHokie Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Hokie, lol! I guess I was just wondering if I was alone in my thoughts, but I will forge ahead, I guess...! And forge ahead you must! I remember about a year ago when I was on Match, I recall seeing a girl I actually went to high school with. I decided to send a message just saying hi and asking how she was doing, but I never got a response back. Perhaps she was "ashamed" that I saw her on there...? I honestly don't know, but it's just so common now...there's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about!
witabix Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Embarrassed? Feeling awkward? Is it that online dating site? Getting all 'lurky' in the shadows, trial period nearly up? With my all new, exciting, and low cost solution, you no longer need to fear embarrassment on line, its the new USB 2.0 powered Dating-Site-Burka, protect your modesty and have fun at the same time. (Requires a 2.0Ghz processor, 345MB ram, and runs on XP, Vista, and WIN7, various Linux flavours available too) RRP$49.99 at all good retail outlets.
mortensorchid Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 There's nothing to be embarrassed about with this. Millions of people are doing it and there's nothing wrong with trying it. In fact, it's become so commonplace that it's almost odd if you don't try it at least once. And if someone you know in any way shape or form sees you on a website, remember they're looking too for some reason!
SilentVoice Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Come on it is 2010. People want to meet people. It isn't any worse than "phone chat lines" which use to be popular.lol Soon enough we will have virtual dating lol I see no reason to be secretive about it. Have fun , meet new guys and enjoy yourself
OliveOyl Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Come on it is 2010. People want to meet people. It isn't any worse than "phone chat lines" which use to be popular.lol Soon enough we will have virtual dating lol There already is virtual dating. IMVU, There, Second Life, to name a few...
tigressA Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 There are still a lot of people who are in the same boat you are, Confused, as far as feeling embarrassed. That's why you'll find profiles with things like "I can't believe I'm on here", etc. Even my BF still refuses to tell people we met online. Online dating is commonplace these days, though. IMO, no one should be embarrassed about doing it. Like other posters said, it's just another avenue to meet people.
irc333 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Believe it or not, there are some women I had met at BBQ/Pool parties and wound up seeing them later on online dating sites. I would send them an email saying, "Hey, I think we met at your friends pool party, I guess this is a perfect icebreaker in getting to know you." or something like that. Some are cool with it, others tend to "freak out" if somehow, their online dating lives creep into their real world social life. Not sure why they have a hang up on keeping the 2 separate though. When mentioned this to a woman that I met a group outing, that she was one of my "weekly match.com matches" that arrived in the email, she said that she doesn't pay for the service anymore, too money. And I said, "So, are you seeing anyone now?" And she says, "My dating life is none of your business!" Well, excuuuuuuuse meeeee! But now, more and MORE, I'm seeing a lot of my friends out on the town, poppin' up on dating sites as well....so I dont see what the big deal is now. I need help getting over this. I often browse (or shall I say lurk) the online dating websites. A few months ago I saw a guy who really caught my interest, I signed up and we talked, obviously it did not pan out. Anyway I quickly deleted my profile (before the trial was up, wahoo!) and now I'm browsing again. I'm finding a few I'm really interested in but for some reason I'm SO embarrassed of being seen on there! Some of my male friends are on there and it just feels really, really weird to me. Can anyone relate? How did you get over it? Obviously I'm going to suck it up to talk to one or two of these guys, but I can't seem to get over being thought of as socially inept
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Everyone uses online dating. In my workplace alone (which houses only about 15 employees), we have three women (all attractive, sociable, and under the age of 30) who met their significant others (in fact one girl just got married) online. It's truly nothing to be embarrassed of. The old notion that online dating is for people who are ugly, socially awkward, desperate, or over 40 is a thing of the past.
witabix Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 The old notion that online dating is for people who are ugly, socially awkward, desperate, or over 40 is a thing of the past. Ugly, socially awkward, desperate, over 40. Why is over 40 in that particular list of unfortunate adjectives?
LoveAintEverything Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I feel embarrassed about it too, so I just deleted my account :|
Minnie09 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I know there are many success stories out there regarding couples who met online and are apparently happy together. However, I can relate to OP. I can't make myself do it, either. It would make me think of myself as being somehow pathetic and unable to find someone the "normal" way, like at work or at a party or at a bar. I know it's stupid to think that way and I'm also not the most outgoing person, so for me it's probably almost impossible to find someone just by coincidence, while I do my grocery shopping or something. Most of the time I'm with my child, too, so it's not easy. Online dating would be the easiest way, but I just cant get over myself. Plus, if I did find a potential candidate online, I would probably think poorly of him, too. Kind of like: Why does he need to be on this website if he's such a good catch. He can't be that great. That's my sick thinking process. Ugh. I would also be paranoid that someone I know personally comes across my profile and thinks "God, how sad...". Does anybody else feel that way? 1
Crazy Magnet Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I had this same feeling before I signed up and actually started meeting guys online. Most of them were cool, cute, and we actually had a lot in common. None of them were socially awkward or anything like that. I ended up meeting lawyers, attending physicians, high profile business men. Any of these guys could easily have gotten dates in the real world as well just like I was able to get "real world" dates. As it turns out Mr. Perfect For Me was online at the same time and we are now living together. It doesn't even occur to us anymore that we met "online" and we have no issues telling anybody where we met. After being around us for a few hours most single people decide to sign up to at least try it because they can see how we compliment each other and how much we are in love. Currently ALL (and I do mean all) of my single friends are dating online. I'd say 25% of my married friends met their SO online (mostly eHarmony) and the other 75% got married very young. It's not a place for only social rejects anymore and it's now acceptable for a younger demographic.
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Ugly, socially awkward, desperate, over 40. Why is over 40 in that particular list of unfortunate adjectives? Sorry! I by no means meant to convey that over 40 = ugly, awkward, or desperate. I just know that when sites like eharmony and match cae out they were kind of aimed at divorcees and older singles.
CailinPig Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 i think it is embarrassing, and i don't know about the states or the uk, but here in ireland, it is DEFINITELY NOT the social norm. If u say ur on a dating website, there'd probably be an awkward silence, and the other person would be wonderig whats wrong with you for being on a dating site. it's a crazy opinion, but there u hav it. i say, go for it, and then lie abot where u met the person!!
Lemontang Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I have an absolute blast online dating. I travel a bit so it's kind of dating on the go so to speak. I've never had an issue with it though. In short if someone you know see's you on it then the question is why are they on there looking? Not to mention it's better than getting to know someone first up through beer goggles only to wake up next to the abdominal snowman the next morning. Call it a vetting process to actually finding someone you like and are willing to put time into.
witabix Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Sorry! I by no means meant to convey that over 40 = ugly, awkward, or desperate. I just know that when sites like eharmony and match cae out they were kind of aimed at divorcees and older singles. Thats ok, I was just yanking your chain there a bit. I thought you may have seen my profile on, http://www.ugly_awkward_desparate_over40.com come to think of it, I'm the only one on that particular site!
shadowplay Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I know there are many success stories out there regarding couples who met online and are apparently happy together. However, I can relate to OP. I can't make myself do it, either. It would make me think of myself as being somehow pathetic and unable to find someone the "normal" way, like at work or at a party or at a bar. I know it's stupid to think that way and I'm also not the most outgoing person, so for me it's probably almost impossible to find someone just by coincidence, while I do my grocery shopping or something. Most of the time I'm with my child, too, so it's not easy. Online dating would be the easiest way, but I just cant get over myself. Plus, if I did find a potential candidate online, I would probably think poorly of him, too. Kind of like: Why does he need to be on this website if he's such a good catch. He can't be that great. That's my sick thinking process. Ugh. I would also be paranoid that someone I know personally comes across my profile and thinks "God, how sad...". Does anybody else feel that way? Yeah, sometimes I feel this way. I occasionally cringe a little about having a profile up since I live in a small town. You'd think I wouldn't care because whoever recognizes my face is also on the site, right? Wrong. Because I sort of judge guys for being on there, even though I'm on there (I'm such a hyocrite! ), I'm worried they'll do the same. Hopefully others don't share my ridiculous insecurities.
shadowplay Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 (edited) Last summer I did the videography for a gorgeous wedding in Western Massachusetts. It was actually the nicest wedding I've ever attended, not in terms of opulence, but pure pleasure and unaffected fun. The bride and groom seemed completely smitten and well-matched. During the ceremony, when the minister mentioned that they met on match.com, the bride and groom blushed and giggled, and everyone in the audience burst out laughing. It was a cute moment that seemed to embody the current attitude many people have about online dating: "this is a bit weird and funny, but it's 2010. Whatevs." Edited September 23, 2010 by shadowplay
Author Confusedalways Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 I know there are many success stories out there regarding couples who met online and are apparently happy together. However, I can relate to OP. I can't make myself do it, either. It would make me think of myself as being somehow pathetic and unable to find someone the "normal" way, like at work or at a party or at a bar. I know it's stupid to think that way and I'm also not the most outgoing person, so for me it's probably almost impossible to find someone just by coincidence, while I do my grocery shopping or something. Most of the time I'm with my child, too, so it's not easy. Online dating would be the easiest way, but I just cant get over myself. Plus, if I did find a potential candidate online, I would probably think poorly of him, too. Kind of like: Why does he need to be on this website if he's such a good catch. He can't be that great. That's my sick thinking process. Ugh. I would also be paranoid that someone I know personally comes across my profile and thinks "God, how sad...". Does anybody else feel that way? this is EXACTLY how I feel. All of it but especially the bolded parts. EXACTLY. But I'm going ahead with it, I guess. Kind of like Shadow, I judge the guys I see on there too (that I know in real life). Eeek! I don't know how to get over myself, I need to just suck it up.
Romance Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I met my bf online but not on a dating website. (on a forum to talk about a common interest, it was all so innocent at first). but im so embarrassed of it, I lie to everyone on how we met(except my mom), we just say a college party. People, especially my friends, would be SHOCKED if they knew! I am not trying to brag or anything but whenever I think of people who meet online i always think of ugly and pathetic people --which i am not either of! So I have totally re-evaluated my opinion of online dating. It's a nice way to expand the pool of guys you can meet.
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