Bogo123 Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Ugh, I've done a cursory search of guys on OKC who are high matches with me and live in NYC, and the superficiality is just oozing from their profiles. Here's an excerpt from one: You should message me if... You are highly interesting, you are a genuinely good person, or you are gorgeous. Ideally, it'd be great if you exhibited a combination of all three. This doesn't sound superficial at all. More like a guy that knows what he wants.
kpax Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Oh man. I need to look for other places to live. Here's what somebody wrote on another forum: i used to work for a dating service, and one of the statistics they wanted us to mention to the women that came in looking for a partner were that for every one (non-gay) man in nyc there are approximately five single women. now, they never disclosed to me where they got that statistic from, so i never mentioned it to anyone. if this is indeed accurate, it may illustrate the whole male kid-in-a-candy-store mentality when it comes to going from one to the next, or seeing a bunch of people at once. I think this is true in many areas. It's true where I live. I have gotten a lot of affirmation, not only from many guy friends, but even guys I have dated. I have mentioned it seemed like there were 3 women to every guy here and I've not only gotten agreement, I've gotten comments that it's more like 5. lol I had a coworker who was giving me a hard time about being single; i.e. I am not trying hard enough, need to work on self esteem, etc...He was new here, but after a year he approached me and said he was starting to understand my problem.... Guys in my age range (late 30's or 40's) also have no problem getting girls in their 20's if they so wish as this is a college town. So, all things added up I have a hard time even getting myself excited about looking. I feel that if I do ANYTHING wrong at all on a date or early in dating it's over. Also, it makes it really hard with boundaries/self esteem issues as I have found 95% of guys to act like total jerks to me and if I draw a line with them early on I never hear from them again. I think they can be jerks and get away with it and don't care as there are so many who will take my place and put up with it.
In The Green Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 It appears NYC is tougher for women just in terms of numbers. Women definitely outnumber men in the ne and south. GO WEST young woman! http://thesocietypages.org/graphicsociology/2009/04/10/mapping-singles/
eerie_reverie Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 It appears NYC is tougher for women just in terms of numbers. Women definitely outnumber men in the ne and south. GO WEST young woman! http://thesocietypages.org/graphicsociology/2009/04/10/mapping-singles/ I'm guessing San Francisco's fat blue dot doesn't adjust for the number of gay men for each straight guy.
Woggle Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 The guys are like that but the women are just as bad. The shallowness is spread around pretty equally. I grew up in New York and the city I knew and loved might as well be dead to me. It is pretty much LA with subways these days if you ask me.
MrNate Posted September 20, 2010 Posted September 20, 2010 I hear the northeast is pretty bad for women..as well as the south. The west, however should be a haven for women.
Author shadowplay Posted September 20, 2010 Author Posted September 20, 2010 The guys are like that but the women are just as bad. The shallowness is spread around pretty equally. I grew up in New York and the city I knew and loved might as well be dead to me. It is pretty much LA with subways these days if you ask me. My dad says LA = NY + DUMB
kahn2154 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I was all ready to move to NY after reading this thread it seems like I should avoid it, bah no idea what to do now. I live on Long Island though which I'm guessing is much worse than NYC
TaurusTerp Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 From my experience living there for 3 years, it's much more difficult for women. There are so many models and actresses and fashion industry people that (pardon the term) "normal" women are just often overlooked. Not to mention many of the people are very type A and aren't really looking for anything serious. It's easy as balls if you're a well put together guy, though. If you spend a night out in meatpacking, you can't help but trip over beautiful yet fairly receptive women everywhere you go.
kahn2154 Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I'm a socially awkward 24 year old with no relationship history who looks down on himself quite a bit and is very insecure. So I'm assuming I'm would be eaten alive...
Feelin Frisky Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Just curious, because that's probably where I'm headed eventually (in a year or so) given my profession of choice. I mean is it harder for a woman to find a mate? I want to know what to expect. Actually, if it's really, really bad I might consider living elsewhere if I can find a viable work alternative. I have a hunch that NYC guys are more superficial, prickish and also less willing to commit, but honestly I have no clue. So what is it like? As a native NYer I can tell you that attractive women need do very little but just be visible. I can't tell you about other guys but I think NY has produced a quite a nice male product in myself.
ezrajames Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 You need self-confidence to do well in NYC. You've got to get yourself in order before you can expect to attract the singles here. Even saying that though, there is such a varied amount of people here that you can literally find anything you're looking for. If you don't mind the online dating world, then you can pick and choose exactly the type of mate you want in NYC, LA, or elsewhere. Are men more afraid of commitment in NY? Depends on the man, but in general, I'd say yes.
Scottdmw Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 Ugh, I've done a cursory search of guys on OKC who are high matches with me and live in NYC, and the superficiality is just oozing from their profiles. Here's an excerpt from one: You should message me if... You are highly interesting, you are a genuinely good person, or you are gorgeous. Ideally, it'd be great if you exhibited a combination of all three. You're complaining that guys are superficial? Wasn't this what you want in a guy? "-extremely smart and fairly well-read -good looking, fit and above average height -ambitious and resourceful -common interests -good taste in artistic things -24-years-old+ and mature -confident and not a weirdo" Some of that's not superficial, but good looking, fit, and above average height definitely are. Like I said in the other thread, guys will have their own list of wants too that may be different than yours.
Mad Max Posted October 6, 2010 Posted October 6, 2010 I grew up in a large metro area(Montréal) and live in another one now(New York). There's never been a shortage of women in either city. More people = more dating options.
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