tami-chan Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Yea, I know. Maybe I should've ignored her. But it did feel good letting her know what she lost. Sometimes you just can't let people walk over you. Eventually, even the kindest and brightest of human beings have to turn evil for a hot second to let the bullies know they don't run shyt. None of my friends at the table thought I lost my dignity. They were laughing right along with me and FWB.:lmao:Except for my FWB, i've known the rest of my friends for 15 years. They were there from the beginning of my nightmare and with me until the end. Oh you were far from evil! I am not saying that what you did was beneath me...I am only saying I do not have the chutzpah to pull that off. So yeah, revel in it...! then let go and enjoy your life...you should be indifferent to her.
TaraMaiden Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I just think "Two wrongs don't make a right"* has a ring of truth about it. Given that actually, you're a pretty neat, level-headed guy with a good circle of long-lasting friends, I have a feeling that in some time, maybe, you'll regret this event. I don't know how strongly, but I just think there will be an aspect to it that will leave a mildly bitter taste in your mouth.... (*Two wrongs don't make a right; however, three rights do make a left.)
tami-chan Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I just think "Two wrongs don't make a right"* has a ring of truth about it. I do not think this is about "righting a wrong"...there is no "righting" to what his ex-wife did. This is just about him having the balls to put her in her place and her losing control of the situation and crying. She knew what she did to him in the marriage was wrong. When she heard the FWB say what she said, she should have just exited as gracefully as she could muster and not say those things....she set herself up for that one. What was she doing STAYING in the same restaurant and crying in full view of others? She should have left or gone to the bathroom to compose herself.
Author Distant78 Posted September 19, 2010 Author Posted September 19, 2010 Thanks for the support Bitterman. You way with words combined with your confrontational and bluntness style makes me laugh when I read your posts. Tara, not trying to be mean here, but even if I do feel some sort of regret/karma soon, it will never be enough to make me go back to her. It will never be enough to make me go find her and tell her i'm sorry for what I said. What she put me through will always keep me Distant from her.
TaraMaiden Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I wasn't for one moment suggesting that you should ever go back to her. I have already agreed that what she did to you far outweighs this incident, and I can understand your acting in this way. We are accountable to ourselves, and ourselves only. We are the judges of our own actions, and as such have to live with the consequences. What you do with what you've done, is entirely up to you. I honestly am not placating you here, but I think you're a nice enough guy to consider this, (in time) as not being one of your most shining moments. Hell, I may be wrong. But I don't think so.
Woggle Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 It has nothing to do with it being a man really... it's the 'high road' brigade. It comes from the highly spread meme that refraining from making other people feel bad, even when clearly justified, makes one morally superior. Personally, I place little stock in any concept that states if you don't make any waves and place nice in the sandbox (even if people are dumping their buckets of sand over your head) you get to claim that you have 'dignity' in a self-satisfying air of righteousness... as though that's any sort of real prize. I'd rather raise a little bit of hell - Much more satisfying and can produce results that aren't just propping the ego with self-righteous smack. I am sorry but it has much to do with his gender. People are angry that a man did not just sit back and take the steamroll. Every betrayed man on here would love to do what he did. I find it funny how the women in the other thread about taking cheating men to the cleaners the women were all for runing a man's financial well being which is a sentiment I do understand but this guy is scum for handing his ex treated him like garbage one day of humiliation.
welikeincrowds Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I know it was my battle, and I came out victorious!! I would agree, since you left feeling good about yourself, and you performed in front of an audience that was receptive, and your ex-wife was apparently injured, which is what you aimed to do -- and so this must be true. But in a different context -- say, this forum -- the events are more apparent for what they are. You were hurt in a failed marriage, and to compensate, you've insulted another person like a high schooler, literally high-fiving your friends, as though to say "make no mistake about how low your actions have brought me." You gloated in the tears of a woman you once wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and thus you remind everyone who watches that yes, she hurt you, and she still hurts you, so much so that like an animal, you hurt her back, without a second thought as to how it would look in the process. If she were a stranger to you, you wouldn't have given her a second's notice as she passed by your table. You've shown your friends and us that she still controls you, OP; that is as apparent as the food at Fuddrucker's is forgettable.
welikeincrowds Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I am sorry but it has much to do with his gender. You should be, because you have given no evidence that gender has anything to do with it, aside from the fact that it's difficult to tell if you are a man or not, considering that you're crying like a woman.
Woggle Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 You should be, because you have given no evidence that gender has anything to do with it, aside from the fact that it's difficult to tell if you are a man or not, considering that you're crying like a woman. I have no proof but I have spent enough time observing gender relations to know that gender very much matters in a situation like this. When my ex came over and realized what I did with the house and how I made my life a success I rubbed it in her face as well to show what she threw away and it felt great. The hell with taking the high road when she sure didn't.
welikeincrowds Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 I have no proof Stopped reading there. I appreciate your honesty. Next time you make a controversial point, be ready to defend it.
Woggle Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Stopped reading there. I appreciate your honesty. Next time you make a controversial point, be ready to defend it. Do you honestly think that if a woman posted this thread she would get the same response?
welikeincrowds Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 Do you honestly think that if a woman posted this thread she would get the same response? I don't know, because I haven't read this imaginary thread. All I know is that if it said essentially the same thing, then I would myself say essentially the same thing to "her." Gender had nothing to do with my post. It's so easy to see the world as MAN vs. WOMAN, Woggle. To think that we're so different is self-indulgent; to regard others as "people" is very freeing. You will find yourself a lot less angry about things you can't control. People are *******s. This person is an *******. There, now you can find true love.
Woggle Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 The relationship world right now pretty much is man vs woman.
tami-chan Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 But in a different context -- say, this forum -- the events are more apparent for what they are. You were hurt in a failed marriage, and to compensate, you've insulted another person like a high schooler, literally high-fiving your friends, as though to say "make no mistake about how low your actions have brought me." You gloated in the tears of a woman you once wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and thus you remind everyone who watches that yes, she hurt you, and she still hurts you, so much so that like an animal, you hurt her back, without a second thought as to how it would look in the process. If she were a stranger to you, you wouldn't have given her a second's notice as she passed by your table. You've shown your friends and us that she still controls you, OP; that is as apparent as the food at Fuddrucker's is forgettable. Oh please, it is not that serious..."high schooler" "like an animal" stop preaching-you are trying to demonize this man and trying to cut him down, as if it was not enough that he got bamboozled in his marriage. This is a woman who did not only destroy their marriage but also thought she was irreplaceable even AFTER they have parted ways...note what she said "I see you have replaced me...hope she is taking care of you" (paraphrasing here). What was he supposed to do? not respond?. She did not PASS by his table....she stopped to say hello and apparently to give him a hug! How presumptuous! Somebody put her in her place and she didn't like it and thought it was ok to comment about it- instead of gracefully and tactfully making her exit. The OP did say that he felt she had the upper hand...and why not he got shafted-normal reaction, I would say. Let him revel in this. It is all part of his healing process. Lay -off.
welikeincrowds Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 "What was he supposed to do? not respond?. She did not PASS by his table....she stopped to say hello and apparently to give him a hug! How presumptuous! You're right. You're absolutely right. I missed that. She was instigating; she deserved it.
Pyro Posted September 19, 2010 Posted September 19, 2010 The relationship world right now pretty much is man vs woman. this has nothing to do with you. You are "happily" married so you are not part of the dating world. You continually focus on the negative side of the dating world so its no surprise you are how you are. The world can be a cruel place and it can also be a good place. I focus on the upside of things while you focus on the downside of things. You might actually be happy for a change if you decide to focus on yourself and your life for a change, rather than what goes on in other peoples lives.
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