somedude81 Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 (edited) My university Japanese class is basically nerd central. There are a few girls that are actually pretty cute that I could be interested in. They all have the same "nerdy" interests that I do, video games, anime (Japanese cartoons) etc. A few of these girls are really smart and are picking up the language much faster than I am. They are not the type to go to parties and bars. I can like a girl because she's cute, has a cool personality and has common interests. Unfortunately for me to have those things, it's not enough to make them like me. So what's the best way to flirt with these girls and to get them interested in me? I could easily talk games and anime with them, but that doesn't seem to get them into me. It basically makes me into a friend. Also some girls seem to be sexually inexperienced, possibly a virgin. I don't know if that affects how to pursue them. Edited September 15, 2010 by somedude81
Knittress Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 You CAN like a girl if she's cute and has common interests? It's a stretch, but with your superior willpower you might just be able to stomach the idea? ::shakes head:: Kay. My opinion is to strike up a conversation exactly as if you were a friend. Yup. But give off that vibe that you think she's attractive, look a bit longer, pay a bit more attention etc. And if she likes you, she'll come around and start being flirty. And you guys can escalate from there.
Sphere Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I'm sceptical that you can make a girl like you, she either does or she doesn't, but there is nothing to say she won't become interested in you as time goes by or lose interest on the same note. I think if you try and get a girl to like you, then you are doing yourself a disservice and her, because you aren't being yourself and you'll be found out to be fake and fake people are the worst kind of people.
on edge Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Have you tried inviting one of them to hang out? And as a general rule, you have about 3 hang outs to get out of the friendzone, otherwise you are going to be stuck in the friendzone. My recommendation is to invite her to see a movie and tell her that you want to take her out to dinner beforehand. Make the movie something that shows her that you have a nerdy side too. Dinner should be interesting as well. But make it clear that you want to TAKE HER OUT. Unless she is clueless she will know that it is a date.
Author somedude81 Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 You CAN like a girl if she's cute and has common interests? It's a stretch, but with your superior willpower you might just be able to stomach the idea? ::shakes head:: Kay. Sorry that didn't come out right. I mean, I do like a girl when she's cute and has common interests. By using the word can, I was trying to imply that can like girls for those things, but girls don't seem to be able to like a guy just because he has common interests and might be cute. They need more to become interested. My opinion is to strike up a conversation exactly as if you were a friend. Yup. But give off that vibe that you think she's attractive, look a bit longer, pay a bit more attention etc. And if she likes you, she'll come around and start being flirty. And you guys can escalate from there. I've already talked to them on a couple of occasions, usually before class. But I don't want them to think that I'm just interested in friendship. What's a way to show a girl like that, that I think she's attractive without freaking her out?
USMCHokie Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 But I don't want them to think that I'm just interested in friendship. What's a way to show a girl like that, that I think she's attractive without freaking her out? Ask her out on a date. /endthread But seriously though, you can't make girls like you. You give them an opportunity to get to know you by taking them out on a date one-on-one. This way, you make it obvious you're interested in more than friendship, and you give them a chance to develop interest in you.
Author somedude81 Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 I'm sceptical that you can make a girl like you, she either does or she doesn't, but there is nothing to say she won't become interested in you as time goes by or lose interest on the same note. I think if you try and get a girl to like you, then you are doing yourself a disservice and her, because you aren't being yourself and you'll be found out to be fake and fake people are the worst kind of people. I don't like the thought that there is nothing I can control. When I am myself, girls are flat out, not attracted to me. Have you tried inviting one of them to hang out? And as a general rule, you have about 3 hang outs to get out of the friendzone, otherwise you are going to be stuck in the friendzone. My recommendation is to invite her to see a movie and tell her that you want to take her out to dinner beforehand. Make the movie something that shows her that you have a nerdy side too. Dinner should be interesting as well. But make it clear that you want to TAKE HER OUT. Unless she is clueless she will know that it is a date. Last semester I did hang out with a girl and it didn't go anywhere. I don't even think she knew I liked her until we were going to go bowling then she invited a guy friend to come along at the very last minute. The next day I got LJBF (lets just be friends) Somehow I need to make them like me before I ask a girl out or I'll just get a repeat of last time.Ask her out on a date. /endthread But seriously though, you can't make girls like you. You give them an opportunity to get to know you by taking them out on a date one-on-one. This way, you make it obvious you're interested in more than friendship, and you give them a chance to develop interest in you. I keep running into situations where girls don't even know that they are on a date. To me, one-on-one = date. For girls it could be, just friends hanging out. I don't want girls to think that I want to be their friend, nor do I want to come on so strong that I creep them out. Getting back to the subject of nerdy girls: is there a certain type of flirting that works best on them? Something that shows interest without me patronizing them?
CLC2008 Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 What's the best way to make nerdy girls like you? Take them to a Star Trek convention.....?
Author somedude81 Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 What's the best way to make nerdy girls like you? Take them to a Star Trek convention.....? Heh, I thought about something like that. There was a girl who I knew a few months ago that I wanted to take to E3. But she rejected me about a month before it started. Even then, taking a girl to some big event seems like a second date or later type thing. By then she already would have some interest.
CLC2008 Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Here are some ideas: http://www.quora.com/What-are-some-good-date-ideas-for-taking-out-a-dorky-or-nerdy-girl
USMCHokie Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Take them to a Star Trek convention.....? I would actually vote against an idea like that...although it's always a great idea to take a person out on a date to somewhere that really interests them (even better if it's a shared interest), do so only after mutual romantic interest is established... You want the girl to focus on you, not the event or activity... It's very easy to get friend-zoned this way... I keep running into situations where girls don't even know that they are on a date. Then you need to take them on real dates. Don't ask them to get lunch. Don't invite them over to play video games. Don't "hang out" with them. But if a honestly girl can't recognize a date when she's on one...eh, I dunno bro...I would LAUNCH just because of that...I mean, seriously...? Is she 12...? Or does she have the social maturity of a 12 year old...? Man, I've been LAUNCH-happy on LS today...
phineas Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 If you got a dual core PC with at least an nvidia 8400 GS download Boxee, plug it into your TV & invite her over for some Crunchyroll anime goodness.
Author somedude81 Posted September 15, 2010 Author Posted September 15, 2010 I would actually vote against an idea like that...although it's always a great idea to take a person out on a date to somewhere that really interests them (even better if it's a shared interest), do so only after mutual romantic interest is established... You want the girl to focus on you, not the event or activity... It's very easy to get friend-zoned this way... I completely agree with you. It's most imortant go establish the romantic interest first, before the killer date is planned. I know better than to think that making a girl have a great time will make her want me. Then you need to take them on real dates. Don't ask them to get lunch. Don't invite them over to play video games. Don't "hang out" with them. But if a honestly girl can't recognize a date when she's on one...eh, I dunno bro...I would LAUNCH just because of that...I mean, seriously...? Is she 12...? Or does she have the social maturity of a 12 year old...? Man, I've been LAUNCH-happy on LS today... My biggest issue is trying to build interest before the "date." I need her to know that we aren't just two buddies hanging out. Also the last thing I want to do is pre-maturely launch a girl when I may have had a chance with her if I did something different. Frankly I don't have many, if any girls after me, so I get nothing from launching them. If you got a dual core PC with at least an nvidia 8400 GS download Boxee, plug it into your TV & invite her over for some Crunchyroll anime goodness. I've got my laptop hooked up to my TV via HDMI for anime goodness. So I can easily invite somebody over. But it seems more like a friends hanging out thing.
CLC2008 Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Okay then I retract my suggestion. OP, do as you wish, and what is comfortable for you...
GooseChaser Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 Talk to them about subjects that interest them intellectually! I'm sure they'd love that! Also, show interest, of course!
Star Gazer Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 I don't like the thought that there is nothing I can control. Unfortunately, that's just too bad. There is NOTHING about a woman's feelings you can control. The spark is either there, or it isn't. If the spark is there, you can take action to build it into a fire, or snuff it out completely. But if there's no spark, there's no spark.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 15, 2010 Posted September 15, 2010 ....A few of these girls are really smart and are picking up the language much faster than I am... Either work harder to close the gap and perhaps overtake these girls with your newly found excellence or approach them for help. If you approach them for help then be serious about the help and don't act like a douche bag trying to get over. These girls aren't nerdy--they're motivated and talented. That is probably what they respect most in someone else. One would just have to exercise some class and style once breaking through to nerdvana.
Author somedude81 Posted September 16, 2010 Author Posted September 16, 2010 (edited) Talk to them about subjects that interest them intellectually! I'm sure they'd love that! Also, show interest, of course! I'm great at friendly conversation part. The showing interest is what's messing me up. I've never been good at that. I want to say things that they will really respond to. For example I don't know if should compliment her on her appearance or for doing good on a test. Or if I should tease her because she keeps doing really well. I want her to think, "Oh maybe this guy likes me, I could be interested." Either work harder to close the gap and perhaps overtake these girls with your newly found excellence or approach them for help. If you approach them for help then be serious about the help and don't act like a douche bag trying to get over. These girls aren't nerdy--they're motivated and talented. That is probably what they respect most in someone else. One would just have to exercise some class and style once breaking through to nerdvana. I can try the asking for help part. There is a test next week that I'm worried about. How could I use that to build some interest and not become just a buddy? One problem though is that both girls are in the same class and are friendly towards each other, they also sit next to each other. If they were in different classes I wouldn't worry about trying to pursue them both. But now I feel like a have to chose, which means I may end up getting none. Also I'm very scared of being stuck as friends. The last thing I want to do is just be friends with a girl. Edited September 16, 2010 by somedude81
USMCHokie Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Somedude, what you're describing is the approach where you try to generate "interest" before even asking them out...it sounds eerily similar to the friends first approach, which I feel rarely ever works...life isn't a Taylor Swift song where your best friend suddenly pulls a note out of her purse at prom saying she loves you... As many folks have said repeatedly in this thread, a lot of the initial "interest" is based on physical attraction...so if that is legitimately an issue for you, then work on it... So don't try to be their friend first...that's what's getting you friendzoned so much...it's your whole approach that makes the girls feel like you're just trying to be their friend...just ask them out on a date...sometimes girls don't know to get "interested" in you because they simply don't realize that you're interested in them...
AD1980 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 As many folks have said repeatedly in this thread, a lot of the initial "interest" is based on physical attraction...so if that is legitimately an issue for you, then work on it... How? Kidna hard to change your face which is where it starts From his pic he didnt seem to be in horrible shape, you shouldnt need 6 pick abs to get women
witabix Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 What's the best way to make nerdy girls like you? Take them to a Star Trek convention.....? Dressed as Barney the Dinosaur, speaking through a Darth Vader voice changer. Then onto the D&D convetion, where Barney costume comes in handy as a Pink Dragon outfit. Anime? What's that all about? Is that the Japanese stuff that you can't make head nor tail of?
USMCHokie Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 From his pic he didnt seem to be in horrible shape, you shouldnt need 6 pick abs to get women Agreed. But it doesn't hurt.
AD1980 Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 Agreed. But it doesn't hurt. About 2% of the male population is totally ripped that shouldnt be a requierement to attract women unless womens standards for Men are high as hell these days Though i guess if a women is somewhat skinny these days she expects a ripped male
USMCHokie Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 About 2% of the male population is totally ripped that shouldnt be a requierement to attract women unless womens standards for Men are high as hell these days Though i guess if a women is somewhat skinny these days she expects a ripped male Trust me when I say that an average woman's definition of a "ripped" guy is NOT all that ripped... Hah, I hate that term...
Star Gazer Posted September 16, 2010 Posted September 16, 2010 About 2% of the male population is totally ripped that shouldnt be a requierement to attract women unless womens standards for Men are high as hell these days A 6-pack has never been a requirement for me, and I can confidently say the same for all of my girlfriends. That said, luckily for most men (and women, actually), most men don't walk around with their shirt off or lifting it up ala The Situation.
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