SadandConfusedWA Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 To be honest, I would probably be intimidated by your commitment to it and by you being super-fit. The guy I am currently seeing is also like that, 2 hours work outs every morning, super-passionate about playing tennis. Whenever he talks about it I feel somehow inadequate. I would prefer a guy that is more laid back in that sense and I feel that we can't really connect unless I am as into it as he is.
bac Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 (edited) Ha! That's exactly it! I think there is something else that I'm just not seeing . It just almost sounds like there is this girl who'd actually prefer a football watching couch potato who consumes gallons of beer to someone who just has this thing that they go out early in the morning and swim/bike/run/lift. Sigh... whatever... Haha - one day... she's somewhere out there Some girls prefer guys with intellectual interests such as reading, museums, concerts, travelling, theater, and other similar stuff. Once I dated a guy who was exclusively into cycling. He could talk only about it and he did it for hrs. Edited September 14, 2010 by bac
USMCHokie Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 To be honest, I would probably be intimidated by your commitment to it and by you being super-fit. The guy I am currently seeing is also like that, 2 hours work outs every morning, super-passionate about playing tennis. Whenever he talks about it I feel somehow inadequate. I would prefer a guy that is more laid back in that sense and I feel that we can't really connect unless I am as into it as he is. Well, it's also important that each person in a relationship has his and her "own interests"...something they can do outside of the relationship...so I don't think you should necessarily feel so pressured to love tennis and working out as much as he does...and if the guy is worth a damn, he wouldn't judge you for not being as "super-fit" as him...
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Some girls prefer guys with intellectual interests such as reading, museums, concerts, travelling, theater, and other similar stuff. And who says that I don't enjoy those! I agree though - it's good that she realized the possible incompatibility in lifestyles. @Star Gazer: well, I may come off sometimes as snobbish due to English not being my first language. However - I certainly don't sound snobbish while talking about triathlons. As I said before, I tend to have this spark in my eye when I do that.
ufo8mycat Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Maybe she just has had previous experience with triathletes and doesn't want to buy in to all it entails? It isn't a hobby, its a lifestyle. If she is active it may not be a case of intimidation. In my experience triathletes are pretty self focused, determined type a types. You need to be to fit in the hours - particularly for long course triathlon. Then there is all the recovery, nutrition, napping and thinking about your next TT set up to consider. I train for olympic distance and it takes up many hours a week. If you like talking about training then double it. It isn't just the 5.30am starts....start adding in that you can't have too many late nights to make the 5.30am starts. Commitment and determination are attractive in most respects but the level of commitment most triathletes (myself included) borders on inflexability. If she has come across the typical triathlete before then I can understand why she might be cautious. Don't take it personally - find a club and hopefully there will be some like minded girls.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Well, it's also important that each person in a relationship has his and her "own interests"...something they can do outside of the relationship...so I don't think you should necessarily feel so pressured to love tennis and working out as much as he does...and if the guy is worth a damn, he wouldn't judge you for not being as "super-fit" as him... Different people have different qualities. If he wants to date you, it's because he likes you for who you are. It's good to have your own things and get the support of your SO... But you should partake in them only because you want and not because they expect you to or you think they expect you to.
Star Gazer Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Well, it's also important that each person in a relationship has his and her "own interests"...something they can do outside of the relationship...so I don't think you should necessarily feel so pressured to love tennis and working out as much as he does...and if the guy is worth a damn, he wouldn't judge you for not being as "super-fit" as him... Damn straight! But then again, you can still be slightly soft and kick a rock bodied guy's arse in the gym or on a run... A little competition can be hot.
Star Gazer Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Different people have different qualities. If he wants to date you, it's because he likes you for who you are. It's good to have your own things and get the support of your SO... But you should partake in them only because you want and not because they expect you to or you think they expect you to. While this is true generally, it's really hard for someone who's not interested in fitness to date someone who is. It's not just a hobby, it's an entire lifestyle. There's an inherent, fundamental incompatibility there. If affects not only your day-to-day life, but vacations, lifelong goals, everything.
USMCHokie Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 A little competition can be hot. Oh yes it can...
meerkat stew Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 It's a simple copout, same as "I'm too busy to date" or "you are too good for me." Wouldn't take it too seriously.
SadandConfusedWA Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Different people have different qualities. If he wants to date you, it's because he likes you for who you are. It's good to have your own things and get the support of your SO... But you should partake in them only because you want and not because they expect you to or you think they expect you to. I would date you for being a math geek
mohdhm Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 you are passionate about something? how revolting! :sick::sick::sick: but what an interesting thread, filled with interesting responses. I caught a girls undivided attention once as i was passionate and enthused about finishing my homework in the library just before class, and later i talked to her and things worked out great. I was so enthused, every number and letter i put down had me feeling like i was kicking ass, how nerdy is that, and it worked... surprised your case didn't work i think she thinks you are out of her league but what do i know, i never met her.
Stung Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I don't think it's unreasonable that she might think it signaled incompatibility, and it doesn't necessarily mean she's the other extreme, a pure couch potato. Many people I have known who were passionate and driven about structured, rigorous athletic endeavors such as triathlons were also very rigid in their time and nutrition schedules--as others have said it's not just a hobby, it is a lifestyle. Often, IME--and this might not apply to the OP--that rigidity over structured schedules spills over into many facets of people's lives. I'm fairly active, but I'm also spontaneous, I like a flexible lifestyle. I like swimming, hiking, kayaking, dancing and scuba diving, but I also like sleeping in, eating whatever I feel like eating, taking last minute road trips, etc. The majority of my hobbies are creative and very unstructured, I enjoy writing speculative fiction, shattering pottery to make into mosaics, taking amateur (and sadly not very good) nature photography. If we had a few conversations about how your passions were highly structured things requiring enormous physical devotion, I might suspect some fundamental incompatibility too. It wouldn't mean I thought negatively of you--I might find your dedication and your lifestyle admirable and impressive. It wouldn't mean that that I was woefully insecure, either. It just...would be. Two different ships.
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