Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I got an e-mail today on match that just really surprised me! A girl I was talking to and met e-mailed me that she realized that our interests and ways of spending free time don't match. She realized that I am really into the whole triathlon thing and she prefers a variety of activities and a more laid back attitude towards activities. Now, I was never talking solely about triathlons and triathlon training. I answer questions when asked and that's it. If somebody wants to find out more about this part of my life they will ask. I have other stuff going for me too. Of course when I am talking about triathlons I have a spark of excitement in my eyes. Yes, girls that I am talking to should know that I get up at 5:30AM on a weekday and usually do a 2hours workout before I start doing my other things. I don't think it's a big issue - I'm not doing that on weekends. It just surprised me because I thought that having a passion for something, being driven and active is actually a plus. I would never think this actually can be a... turn off. Oh well... life is so awesome and unpredictable!
CLC2008 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 It's not a turn-off, actually, it's pretty impressive. But I don't see why this would be an issue, unless, the only free time you have together is at 5:30am?
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 It's not a turn-off, actually, it's pretty impressive. But I don't see why this would be an issue, unless, the only free time you have together is at 5:30am? Ha! That's exactly it! I think there is something else that I'm just not seeing . It just almost sounds like there is this girl who'd actually prefer a football watching couch potato who consumes gallons of beer to someone who just has this thing that they go out early in the morning and swim/bike/run/lift. Sigh... whatever... Haha - one day... she's somewhere out there
atlnay Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 I don't think your passion turned her off, she may feel insecure/inadequate/intimidated by your zest for fitness if she's more of a couch potato.
CLC2008 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Ha! That's exactly it! I think there is something else that I'm just not seeing . It just almost sounds like there is this girl who'd actually prefer a football watching couch potato who consumes gallons of beer to someone who just has this thing that they go out early in the morning and swim/bike/run/lift. Sigh... whatever... Haha - one day... she's somewhere out there Gallons of beer? Is she from Ireland? Well, it sounds like you know what to do then, happy trails.
2sunny Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 maybe she's lazy and doesn't want you expecting her to exercise...
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 maybe she's lazy and doesn't want you expecting her to exercise... Haha, no! She said she's athletic and active. I'd never expect any girl to do it with me. I'd like them to be supportive and cheer me on at the finish line. I'd show the same support in whatever they are into . As I said, it just wasn't meant to be and at least she had the decency to let me know that it's not gonna work for her instead of just simply disappearing.
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 She's probably just intimidated by how in shape you are... ...or she just isn't interested for other reasons but decided that this sounded less "mean."
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 ...or she just isn't interested for other reasons but decided that this sounded less "mean." Yeah - I'll go with this version. It's less "painful" .
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Yeah - I'll go with this version. It's less "painful" . Right...just like when someone says "I'm not really feeling that spark..." it really means that they don't find the person attractive. Not saying she didn't find you attractive, I mean who knows? She just wasn't feeling it for some reason and decided that would be the "gentlest" way to let you know.
CLC2008 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Well, it's hard to know in this case...since this thread seems more like an announcement versus an actual question.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Well, it's hard to know in this case...since this thread seems more like an announcement versus an actual question. It's more of an observation... \Thread
Art_Critic Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Did she google you or hit the public records and see something else about you that maybe she didn't like and then decided to use the triath stuff as a way out ? or maybe if she googles something about you, your name, your email addy, your profile name.. something and then a bunch of triathlete stuff from your previous runs showed up that lead her to believe something about your hobby ? I have seen someone on here before that used their LS is as their dating profile.. You know what showed up when the girls googled his profile name ?
welikeincrowds Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Man, I really hate passionate, driven people. "I'm not really feeling that spark..." it really means that they don't find the person attractive. You think so? I don't agree. I've been attracted to people with whom I was disappointed to later find that I had no spark. To me, "spark" is what happens when you're with someone and every piston fires. "A sum greater than its parts" kind of thing.
CLC2008 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Did she google you or hit the public records and see something else about you that maybe she didn't like and then decided to use the triath stuff as a way out ? or maybe if she googles something about you, your name, your email addy, your profile name.. something and then a bunch of triathlete stuff from your previous runs showed up that lead her to believe something about your hobby ? I have seen someone on here before that used their LS is as their dating profile.. You know what showed up when the girls googled his profile name ? Good point Art. There could be a ton of what if's in response to this thread, since it is obviously, just an observation.
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Did she google you or hit the public records and see something else about you that maybe she didn't like and then decided to use the triath stuff as a way out ? or maybe if she googles something about you, your name, your email addy, your profile name.. something and then a bunch of triathlete stuff from your previous runs showed up that lead her to believe something about your hobby ? I have seen someone on here before that used their LS is as their dating profile.. You know what showed up when the girls googled his profile name ? Definitely not. There is nothing out there that could incriminate me in any way simply because... I haven't done anything incriminating. My match name is simple and not offensive in any way. Haha - yeah, sure, she found my papers and preprints and list of my talks at conferences and this made her run :lmao: Good point though - I shall guard myself better in the future... slip out in the middle of the night and get my miles in
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Good point Art. There could be a ton of what if's in response to this thread, since it is obviously, just an observation. OK then. Let's phrase it as a question, ready? Do you think that being driven and having ambitious but achievable goals, not only related to your job but also when it comes to your hobby, could be a turn-off?
Art_Critic Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 OK then. Let's phrase it as a question, ready? Do you think that being driven and having ambitious but achievable goals, not only related to your job but also when it comes to your hobby, could be a turn-off? No... That was I asked about the what if of goggling you...
CLC2008 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 OK then. Let's phrase it as a question, ready? Do you think that being driven and having ambitious but achievable goals, not only related to your job but also when it comes to your hobby, could be a turn-off? Oh finally, a direct and honest question! For me personally, the answer is no. I would never "not be interested" in someone because of that, the only time it would be of concern for me, is if he tried to make me feel bad because of it (i.e., if I wasn't a triatholon runner).
USMCHokie Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Do you think that being driven and having ambitious but achievable goals, not only related to your job but also when it comes to your hobby, could be a turn-off? In the end, this girl just wasn't interested, for whatever reason...whether it was because she was insecure about her own levels of physical activity when compared to you...or any other reason... I don't think any interests that aren't illegal or morally wrong would cause anyone who was otherwise interested to run away... I smell a whiff of doody here...
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 I smell a whiff of doody here... That's a very nice way of putting it, Sir! As I said - whatever. Just wasn't meant to be.
CLC2008 Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 No... That was I asked about the what if of goggling you... Yeah, he keeps bypassing any other possibilities. Interesting, isn't it.
USMCHokie Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 That's a very nice way of putting it, Sir! As I said - whatever. Just wasn't meant to be. Yep, as I'm sure you already know, NEVER think less of yourself or your interests just because someone you're dating doesn't see your interests in the same light, especially those as reflective of good character and physical fitness as triathlons... F 'em...
Author Lakeside_runner Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 Yeah, he keeps bypassing any other possibilities. Interesting, isn't it. Like what? I've no secrets.
Star Gazer Posted September 14, 2010 Posted September 14, 2010 Do you think that being driven and having ambitious but achievable goals, not only related to your job but also when it comes to your hobby, could be a turn-off? Well, to be perfectly honest, I find the way you're characterizing your interests to be a little snobbish. If you're presenting your hobby to her in such terms or in that way, then yeah, THAT is a turn off. But your hobby isn't in and of itself a turn off, nor did she say it was. She merely recognized that you have very different interests and likely very different lifestyles. That doesn't mean anything about your hobby "turns her off." She just recognized you're fundamentally incompatible. I remember a couple years ago, I sent a similar message to someone, but more like from your shoes. The guy wasn't active at all. His idea of being outdoorsy involved holding the flag on a wakeboard boat in one hand and a PBR in the other. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but a partner for me will be someone who will go out and do things with me: skiing, hiking, kayaking, playing tennis, now golf (new for me), etc., etc., and I just knew that wouldn't float his boat... ...just like this this girl knows your idea of a good time isn't spending all your time on the coach. It's not a turn off, it's just different. I think it's a good thing that she recognized it and cut bait early.
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