irc333 Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Okay, I'm into nerdy things myself, and of course, I love going to Sci-Fi conventions. There's this group I've been trying to get into, a sci-fi costuming group, I got to talking to one of the chairpersons, and he said also, that it's hard to get into such a group because they're more like "family" than just a club. He asked me this question, "Are you single?" And I said, "Um...yeah...why?" And he said, "oh, yeah, if you're in that category, it's pretty hard to work your way into such a group, because the women in our group are spoken for or married, and well, typically a lot of guys of your status tend to stare or look too long at them, and make them feel uncomfortable." And I was like "Uummmm....okay, they dress in skantily clad costumes for 3 days, and they don't want guys staring at them? I'm not sure how is this an issue?" And he said, "Well, it's just common courtesy to not look for too long, just glance, but not look, and apparently guys like us (single males) tend to look for a little too long at their slave leahs or any other outfits they wear..... probably unconsously and for good reason....I mean, it's only a 3 day convention, and that's it, can't fault them for admiring such beauty But apparently, the group consists of mostly coupled up people, and a single guy can be seen as a threat to the group. Do you see any logic to this? I called it a double standard, he disagreed and called it ettiquette. Any feedback here?
USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Uh...WAT...? And to be honest, I'd probably cop a glance or three whether I was coupled up or not... Weird... EDIT: And women who are that pretentious to think the way they do are due for some boat paddles to the face...seriously...?
Feelin Frisky Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Whoever you spoke to was a repressed a-hole who values ownership far over fellowship.
2sure Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Ive heard of the single guy rules at swingers clubs but a sci-fi convention?? Must be more going on there than costumes. But you know...I dont even want to think about that.
GorillaTheater Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Ive heard of the single guy rules at swingers clubs I had the same analogy flash through my mind, and that may well be the same sort of dynamic here. But frankly, once I got the "slave Leia" image out of my head, I have to admit that I really have absolutely no idea of the possible dynamics at a sci-fi dress-up thing.
2sure Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Gee...I DO need a new hobby and I used to watch star-trek and I do like to dress up. Single women could rock that convention.
O'Malley Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 And he said, "oh, yeah, if you're in that category, it's pretty hard to work your way into such a group, because the women in our group are spoken for or married, and well, typically a lot of guys of your status tend to stare or look too long at them, and make them feel uncomfortable." My guess is that they don't want single guys using their group as a way to hook up with or harass hot Princess Leias or Seven of Nines and causing unnecessary drama for everyone. Nothing really to do with admiring women in sexy sci-fi personas. Look for another group to join.
TaraMaiden Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 But frankly, once I got the "slave Leia" image out of my head, I've got a slave princess Leia costume... well, if you can call it that.... three itsy-bits of small cloth..... (How to give Gorilla Theater sleepless nights......)
GorillaTheater Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I've got a slave princess Leia costume... well, if you can call it that.... three itsy-bits of small cloth..... Pics, as they say, or it didn't happen.
TaraMaiden Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 You think I'd let someone take pic's? With an ass this big?? Get real!!
2sure Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Somehow, the big a55 thing just enhanced the image.
that girl Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I would have sided with you irc333 until you said okay, they dress in skantily clad costumes for 3 days, and they don't want guys staring at them? I'm not sure how is this an issue? Staring is rude. You should know not to stare and not blame you staring on the women. A glance you can't help, but you seem to think that if a woman isn't covered up, it is your right to stare. These women dress up for cosplay, which weird as I find it, is not necessarily something they do for male attention. The costumes are usually based on existing fictional characters who don't cover up much so they options are scantily clad or pretend to be a dude. It wouldn't have occured to me to ban men from such a group, but it is basic manners not to stare at someone.
USMCHokie Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Staring is rude. You should know not to stare and not blame you staring on the women. A glance you can't help, but you seem to think that if a woman isn't covered up, it is your right to stare. These women dress up for cosplay, which weird as I find it, is not necessarily something they do for male attention. The costumes are usually based on existing fictional characters who don't cover up much so they options are scantily clad or pretend to be a dude. It wouldn't have occured to me to ban men from such a group, but it is basic manners not to stare at someone. I agree that staring is rude...but these women know exactly what they're doing when they show up in their 1.5 piece Leia costume...just like I know exactly what I'm doing if I show up in a 300 Spartan costume... I mean, come on...really...?
InceptorsRule Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 LOL you've gotta be depressed if even a club full of tremendous losers is rejecting you from being one of their members.
that girl Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 but these women know exactly what they're doing when they show up in their 1.5 piece Leia costume... That has been an argument used to excuse sexual harassment for a long time. "Well, why would she wear a [insert clothing item] if she didn't want people to look?" Lots of women do dress to get attention, but lots of times they don't and still end up in a [insert clothing item]. These women are specifically keeping the group closed because they really don't want the attention. Short of not cosplaying anything with a suggestive costume (which from my limited experience would cut out a lot of options) that is all they can do to avoid inappropriate stares.
Author irc333 Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 Man, lighten up....that is a legit arguement..."Hey, if you don't like being stared at, don't dress like that" I'd post pics of the recent convention, but not sure if I'm allowed to do that here...but you'd be suprised how hot these women are, and who cares, the events are only for 3 days. lol. Then you all go home and don't see each other again. Perfectly good and legit arguement. So I guess the woman who wears the shirt stating, "I don't turn heads, I break F-in necks!" is the only woman we should stare at? lol They deliberately paint a large brush, just by elimnating single men from the group, they just assume, if you're single and you're male, you're up to no good. At first he said the women hit on their women, but I told them I dont hit on other peoples women, I just can't promise if I inadverantly look at a woman in a skimpy Super Girl outfit for more than 3 seconds. I talked with some other women, and they see it the same way as well, don't dress that way, if you don't want to be gawked at. Plain and simple. That has been an argument used to excuse sexual harassment for a long time. "Well, why would she wear a [insert clothing item] if she didn't want people to look?" Lots of women do dress to get attention, but lots of times they don't and still end up in a [insert clothing item]. These women are specifically keeping the group closed because they really don't want the attention. Short of not cosplaying anything with a suggestive costume (which from my limited experience would cut out a lot of options) that is all they can do to avoid inappropriate stares.
Author irc333 Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 Pics, as they say, or it didn't happen. Okay okay, you talked me into it. LOL Would you liked to be saved by SUPERGIRL? Or dance with the IRONMAN DANCERS? R2 Da Pimp Enjoy ;-)
Raderick Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I would have sided with you irc333 until you said Staring is rude. You should know not to stare and not blame you staring on the women. A glance you can't help, but you seem to think that if a woman isn't covered up, it is your right to stare. These women dress up for cosplay, which weird as I find it, is not necessarily something they do for male attention. The costumes are usually based on existing fictional characters who don't cover up much so they options are scantily clad or pretend to be a dude. It wouldn't have occured to me to ban men from such a group, but it is basic manners not to stare at someone. I was about to type the same exact thing until I saw this. Mostly the women don't do it to be eye candy. I too don't get it but they like it and so be it.
Raderick Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Okay okay, you talked me into it. LOL Would you liked to be saved by SUPERGIRL? Or dance with the IRONMAN DANCERS? R2 Da Pimp Enjoy ;-) Or just attend Comic-Con.
Author irc333 Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 I was about to type the same exact thing until I saw this. Mostly the women don't do it to be eye candy. I too don't get it but they like it and so be it. I just find it odd, to stereotype single males as drooling bafoons.
meerkat stew Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 That has been an argument used to excuse sexual harassment for a long time. "Well, why would she wear a [insert clothing item] if she didn't want people to look?" You get to go to work dressed for work and not get harrassed. You don't get to put on a fur bikini as part of a cavegirl costume, go to a SciFi convention, and then complain about people staring. Sorry, there are limits. OP, the guy you talked to was an insecure ass. You can likely find costume groups without such members in your area by looking in net fanzines or doing some creative googling.
Author irc333 Posted September 10, 2010 Author Posted September 10, 2010 You get to go to work dressed for work and not get harrassed. You don't get to put on a fur bikini as part of a cavegirl costume, go to a SciFi convention, and then complain about people staring. Sorry, there are limits. OP, the guy you talked to was an insecure ass. You can likely find costume groups without such members in your area by looking in net fanzines or doing some creative googling. Yeah, he completely didn't see it my way, he actually started referring to themselves as "family" and they're highly protective of their female members. Wonder when they'll start drinkin Kool-Aid. He was advising me, when I'm mingling, to just mingle with the male members....and I was like "Umm....why just the male members?" And he said, "Well, if you talk to the female members, they'll think you're trying to hit on them" I just rolled my eyes.
Raderick Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 Yeah, he completely didn't see it my way, he actually started referring to themselves as "family" and they're highly protective of their female members. Wonder when they'll start drinkin Kool-Aid. He was advising me, when I'm mingling, to just mingle with the male members....and I was like "Umm....why just the male members?" And he said, "Well, if you talk to the female members, they'll think you're trying to hit on them" I just rolled my eyes. Ehhh....yeah now he sounds like an ass. Get out of there and find a group in which won't treat newbies like second class citizens.
Disillusioned Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 OP, you've just discovered one of the ways to meet a lot of women: get into sewing. It doesn't necessarily have to be costumes. Yeah, I realize I'm not following my own advice because I haven't taken any sewing classes since I was 12... but how many guys do you know who can brag that they can sew any outfit a woman wants, in any color or fabric she wants? I've heard plenty of testimony from different people about how they took an adult sewing class in which there was only one man and a couple dozen women. But then again, if you're a woman reading this post and you think you'd like to nab a man who can sew you any outfit you want... I know from experience that we guys have a tendency to make a big production out of sewing, just like we do with barbecuing.
meerkat stew Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 And he said, "Well, if you talk to the female members, they'll think you're trying to hit on them" I just rolled my eyes. How old are these people again? I've been to these types of things, and probably the exact same one are talking about in the past, if it took place last week in the South , the women there are FAR from self-conscious or sensitive about being stared at. They certainly love being photographed, can tell you that much.
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