Author WildWildWest Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 yeah.. i kno i cant play off role playing.. haha.. i just wanna do something simple first... i would like to learn how to give a good massage tho.. he asked for one before but i didnt wanna do it cuz i have no clue what im doing and he has back issues.. so i didnt wanna hurt him... i just wanna make it seem special i guess.. without over doing it.
Philetus Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 yeah.. i kno i cant play off role playing.. haha.. i just wanna do something simple first... i would like to learn how to give a good massage tho.. he asked for one before but i didnt wanna do it cuz i have no clue what im doing and he has back issues.. so i didnt wanna hurt him... i just wanna make it seem special i guess.. without over doing it. Do a google search for erotic massage. You'll find good tips like... Use towels and keep the part of his body covered you're not working on. There are lots of erotic areas on guys' bodies, not just the ones you think. Use lots of oil. Warm it in your hands first, and use circular motions similar to kneading bread. Talk to him about the pressure you're applying - too much? Not enough? Have him start on his stomach and roll over on his back later. Don't go for the gold too early - if you get me.
Author WildWildWest Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 haha.. thanks.. the advice is very helpful
meerkat stew Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 OMG.. MS.. if she's not sure about a massage how can you even suggest role playing.. I never said anything about roleplaying, merely freeing herself up within his archetype. If anything, I'm suggesting something more like mild fetishism, not roleplay. Never suggested scripted encounters, for example, which are another avenue, but more involved than what I am suggesting. Could be as simple as putting on spiky heels in bed if that's a button for him. Perhaps my mention of the outfits was confusing. For example, I myself find unusual wigs on a familiar woman to be highly erotic and sexy, no need to roleplay anything, just put on the wig and act wanton. Another example, if a woman dresses up like Bettie Page for me with some devil ears and vinyl, she doesn't have to talk like Bettie Page or play a certain role, merely be herself in a more lascivious, lewd way. If OP is shy, my advice would be to focus on opening up internally as opposed to externally. He will likely appreciate the candles and massage because of your effort. It may or may not really turn him on, probably not if he's like most guys I know. Unleashing something within yourself that hits a button of his psychologically could have much more dramatic effect as far as turning him on goes.
Author WildWildWest Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Well I do kno for a fact that he likes me in certain outfits.. but that is the outfits I wear to work (yes we work together, haha) and he always asks me to wera certain ones for him when we do get together.. so I kno he gets turned on by things i wear... which is usually short skirts... so ur saying the candles and music really isnt gonna do anything for him?
Trimmer Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Hey, I'm trying to figure out, have you guys had sex much (or at all..) before? You keep saying you're not very committed and casual, but then it's been a year... I just want to understand clearly... The only thing.. is that.. if it's not really 'you' to do these kind of things.. it might look a little surprising and maybe a little 'off'.. it's hard to say.... You have to feel comfortable in what you do... I agree with Lizzie here. I wanna make it a night he is going to remember... any idea's to what I can add to the music and candlelight? I guess my advice is don't "add" so much that it comes off as some kind of a production, which could end up being a distraction in itself. This may be what you meant when you said you were worried about it being "too much..." Don't set your sights so high on having to produce this one-of-a-kind night that he'll remember - you are focusing on the wrong thing: trying to create that memory. The problem with that is, while you are physically present in the moment, your mind will be sort of elsewhere, concerned with creating the memory that all this will become in the future. I suggest that no matter what you do, the memory will come mostly from what happens between you, and that will be enhanced if you are both physically and emotionally present in the moment, and not distracted. Sure, put a little music on and light a candle, but remember that those are backdrops, and don't try to overproduce and run the risk of it coming off as a circus. Whatever you decide to do, don't over-worry and over-produce it out of a fear of it not being "memorable enough." In the end, let go, and be present; be there with him, completely.
Trimmer Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 so ur saying the candles and music really isnt gonna do anything for him? I wouldn't say that - my point is to make sure that your concern about creating the atmosphere doesn't distract you. The atmosphere is great, but when it all happens, let the background fade into the background - you are the foreground.
Author WildWildWest Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 to answer ur question.. we have had sex before.. plenty of times.. but just not often cuz of our work schedules and him being busy on the weekends... but we have been dealing with each other for a year.. we both tell each other we aint seeing anybody else... i guess we just havent labeled it.. idk.. its a weird situation.. but ur advice makes alot of sense.. thats exactly what i meant by to much.. i dont wanna make it look like an act.. i guess i just wanna set a mood? make it a lil different.. at his house its just his dark bedroom.. haha.. and we have a good time, i guess i just wanna make it a lil different.. but i dont want him to walk in and be thinking "ok, why is she doing all this" i guess what i really wanna know is if candles and music is over doing it.. last time he was over (which didnt go as planned at all) he mentioned me having a stereo in my room and not turning it on.. cuz i made a big deal bout music before and he doesnt have a radio in his room... so i guess he is willing to do the music thing.. he said he would before he just never done it before.. i kno the way this sounds we prob sound like inexperienced teenagers.. but I am 28 and he is 34... i just wanna create a romantic type mood and hope things go well.
meerkat stew Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 Well I do kno for a fact that he likes me in certain outfits.. but that is the outfits I wear to work (yes we work together, haha) and he always asks me to wera certain ones for him when we do get together.. so I kno he gets turned on by things i wear... which is usually short skirts... so ur saying the candles and music really isnt gonna do anything for him? No, the candles and stuff are fine to toss in, but if you really want to flip his switch, we have something to work with, he likes your legs and ass shown off. Try a very short tight skirt with some striped knee highs or stockings with lines up the back or a pattern. The overall principle is take the basic things he likes and make them more erotically charged. Try to find out as much specifics and then extrapolate from there. Imagine for example, a short skirt with stockings with a rip in them and you are kind of acting girlish in front of him in that your stocking is ripped and you think that means you're "bad." Throwing in some sighs as you play with the rip in your stocking wondering what can be done about it. That's just an example, by benefit of being with him, you already know some triggers of his you can expand on. Create a sexual dilemma that he can solve by being the man. Hard to put this into words, do look into Jungian archetypes.
Author WildWildWest Posted September 9, 2010 Author Posted September 9, 2010 Yes.. he is def into my legs... and he loves when I wear certain things.. I guess I can do something like that also.. I just want to make sure the candles and music aint to much.. i dont wanna over do anything.. thats mainly what Im worried about.
bayouboi Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 If you want a step-by-step 'how to give a sexual massage' I will gladly help.. /creepyvoice yessssssssss, go onnnnn
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 9, 2010 Posted September 9, 2010 I wanna make it a night he is going to remember... any idea's to what I can add to the music and candlelight? Wear something really sexy!
meerkat stew Posted September 10, 2010 Posted September 10, 2010 I just want to make sure the candles and music aint to much.. i dont wanna over do anything.. thats mainly what Im worried about. Definitely not too much, and agree with the female posters generally also.
Author WildWildWest Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 well i just remembered that the 22nd is his bday so ima wait until next weekend and go ahead with my plan.. at least that will give me a reason to make it some kind of special right? haha
collegeguy_24 Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I for one like the candles and music. I am a man who like romance, whether its me romancing a woman, or a woman romancing me. I enjoy it.
LoveLace Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 well i just remembered that the 22nd is his bday so ima wait until next weekend and go ahead with my plan.. at least that will give me a reason to make it some kind of special right? haha B-day is a perfect opportunity for a special night. Don't stress yourself out too much about the set up though. Music, candles, wine, and sexy something on you - that's plenty. But I do reccomend Maxwell for the background music. He's very romantic but really gets your juices flowing too.
Author WildWildWest Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 well I hope he is into candles and music.. I honestly dont think he's ever done it before... so maybe this will become a really good idea and be a night he remembers... I just dont want him to walk in the house and be so shocked and think everything is dumb.. I guess I just over think stuff to much... Im not going to over do it tho.. just candles, music and wear something sexy... that should be enough I would think... I just dont want him to think im over doing it since we technically arent a real couple.
alexlakeman Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 If he thinks it's dumb, he's weird.. I've never heard a guy thinking that.. especially being vocal about it when he's about to get laid, lol.. I always have candles , music, wine, ready.. .so even have the set up with an fwb or two.. It's nice, relaxing, sexual, etc...
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 A candle, music, a nice alcoholic drink-- all good ideas. Another one I'd like to add is incense. I found some at a shop the other day, and I haven't gotten to try it out yet and see how strong it is, but it seems similar to a scented candle without the light. I'm looking forward to trying these ideas out myself as well. Most of the time I'm sure they'd like it. They'd probably say something if they didn't, so no harm in experimenting.
Author WildWildWest Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 Yeah Im def gonna go for it... i mean what do i have to lose? Plus he is the romantic type.. prob just never sets it up himself cuz he fears the same thing i do... I just dont kno if i should mention it to him or just let it be a surprise.
GooseChaser Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 Surprise him, and see what he says! Or does...
Author WildWildWest Posted September 11, 2010 Author Posted September 11, 2010 ok.. thanks for the advice... Hopefully he likes it
bac Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 (edited) sex by candlelight and music? I have been seeing this guy for a while now and altho its nothing really serious, I am trying to plan a night of romance I guess u could say... Last time I invited him over everything went wrong so i guess u could say I wanna make it up to him... so Im wondering how many guys out there like that kinda of thing or would u say its kinda lame? From my experience all males love it if sex is good. What kind of food are you planning to treat him? Edited September 11, 2010 by bac
taiko Posted September 11, 2010 Posted September 11, 2010 I dont see why a guy wouldnt like it but I guess since we arent really that serious i dont want to feel like im putting to much into it... plus he is more the romantic type anyway so I would assume he would like it and hope that he doesnt think its lame. My take, we couldn't care less about soundtracks, scents and the look of anything besides you. However it is an obvious signal of your intrest a signal which says you will not just lay there wishing I would finish already.
Author WildWildWest Posted September 14, 2010 Author Posted September 14, 2010 So basically what I am getting from everyone's opinion is that he will like it... I always thought it was the man that was supposed to create that atmosphere for a woman, not the woman doing it for the man.. I guess thats why I wasnt sure how he would react... But I guess I should go ahead with it and see what happens... Im hoping he will be flattered and not think its stupid.. haha... Guess I wont find out until I try it tho.
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