mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 I'm on OKC and this guy who I don't find physically attractive AT ALL e-mails me. I'm not looking for an Abercrombie model and none of my bfs have been attractive in the generally accepted sense of the word, but I know what I find cute and what I don't. This guy didn't fit the bill. So instead of just letting it go, he's harassing me and telling me how rude it is not to reply to him and how this shows I have no ambition. When I let him know I wasn't interested, but thanks anyway for his message, he messaged me back calling me immature to judge someone based on text and pictures. Honestly, does he e-mail EVERY woman on that site because it is "immature" not to? I'm not looking for the perfect guy, but at this point, I do know what I want. Some things in his profile sort of turned me off as well. Isn't that the point of online dating, to judge people and see if you want to pursue them or not? I just can't stand men like this. Calling me names isn't going to make your case, buddy.
dispatch3d Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 he's just really frustrated because noone wants to date him. Have some compassion. His emails have nothing to do with you. Also add him to your block list ;-).
Rorschach Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 he's just really frustrated because noone wants to date him. Have some compassion. His emails have nothing to do with you. Also add him to your block list ;-). This. Every un-responded to e-mail hurts just a little more. Even the 'thanks but no thanks' e-mails make me feel better that somebody was kind enough to type something back. I was feeling better about myself until I got on OKC this past couple days sent out 5-10 messages and got no responses I think I'd do better in real life where it's easier for my personality to come through
Author mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Yeah, you're probably right. His own profile says "I'm a little shallow, who isn't?" This is the message he wrote to me: See, and there you go. Proving once again that you're shallow. You don't even deserve anything if all you're going to do is act like your mentality is stuck in high school. And no, I didn't find you physically attractive (I usually don't go for fatties), but I decided to give you a chance. That is how real people act, something you've either never had or lost sight of long ago. This is his facebook (which he posted on there, so not invading his privacy): http://www.facebook.comRichard4RollTide I'm also not fat. I could definitely lose a couple pounds and am on a diet, but I'm not overweight at all. I have never had trouble attracting guys, so this is ridiculous. He's just not my type. And I know it can sting when people don't reply, but I think it happens to everyone. People get busy and don't always have time to answer every single question.
Rorschach Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 You probably dodged a bullet anyway, he sounds like a jerk. But all the same I'd wager money that he just happened to get annoyed at you after a long list of people who didn't reply, I don't think it's anything you did personally. No matter how many people didn't reply to me I'd never act like that.
meerkat stew Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Sorry you are being pestered like this. What percentage of the men who have approached you in life, either on the net or otherwise, have taken such an attitude? He's an outlier who is digging his own social grave. Use the block button and move past it.
Author mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Sorry you are being pestered like this. What percentage of the men who have approached you in life, either on the net or otherwise, have taken such an attitude? He's an outlier who is digging his own social grave. Use the block button and move past it. Well, it sometimes happen when I reject guys. Most guys, who are SANE, will say "Oh okay." I mean I've been rejected before and it's not fun, but I typically live. I mean, so far, so good. The guy gets really, really angry and starts insulting me, which is so rude, which is why sometimes I try to avoid rejection by not responding. Sometimes I will respond to a rejection if I'm not interested and the guy is really, really sweet or something....but usually I just let it slide. His profile also says this, which made me LOL: "I'm also great at relationships, it's just sorting out the shallow people that gets in my way at times, although one has to be a tad bit shallow! Finally, I'm good at second dates. First dates are so awkward that I'm terrible at them, so be sure to stick around for the second date!" Like he's trying to guilt people into a second date.
somedude81 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 He looks like a nerd. On top of that he's an angry jerk. Ignore him and don't feel bad about it. BTW it was rude to not even reply to his message. You eventually did reply and telling him that you weren't interested but it was too late at that point. If a guy sends a thoughtful message, the girl at least owes him an I'm sorry reply. If he gets rude, then block him.
InceptorsRule Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 He doesn't have a tough enough skin for the online dating game.
Author mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 BTW it was rude to not even reply to his message. It may be rude, but I don't have time for these kind of games (which happen sometimes). I also get e-mailed on that site A LOT and between work and everything else, I don't have time to write a well thought out response. Usually, if I reject someone on an online dating site, they do get angry like this. Sometimes guys don't message me back. I just live with it.
Mad Max Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Granted it was rude not to respond, but that guy has some serious issues.
dispatch3d Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 It may be rude, but I don't have time for these kind of games (which happen sometimes). I also get e-mailed on that site A LOT and between work and everything else, I don't have time to write a well thought out response. Usually, if I reject someone on an online dating site, they do get angry like this. Sometimes guys don't message me back. I just live with it. he's just looking for more attention. Any attention is good where this guy is at his dating stage. Honestly you shouldn't be offended. You should feel sorry for the guy. I know I do. I wouldn't have posted his profile here either. Just don't bite when they bait you into these conversations. Delete the message and realize they are bitter about dating. Guys like him literally have 0 options. NO ONE wants to date them at all. 99% of girls wouldn't even give the guy the time of day. He is just hoping to get lucky. And wow, his posture is bad. Has to be one of the worst postures I have ever seen (if not the absolute worst). It's bad enough that I half want to go through all my pictures and see how my posture is doing.
bobdole Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Its not just men and its not most any gender... I had a close call such as this as well a couple weeks ago. I had emailed a girl about 6 rounds and after having a 1st date setup I canceled on her. I ended up finding someone I wanted to date exclusively and told her that truth. "You're lovely and I'm sure we would have a great time, but I've decided to exclusively date someone" - Something along those lines. She responds back and tells me she hopes I die and go to hell, that I've more than hurt her, and if she ever sees me IRL I better run. Wow... I'd never even spoken to her. Not even texted her. Only email contact... Them crazies... they're out there.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Sounds like he's one the one-way train to crazyland.
Author mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Eh...maybe I shouldn't have posted his profile, but it is on his OKC site. Do all of you respond to 100% of messages women send on sites like this? Or are you just expecting women to reply to you but not the other way around? I'm sorry, I just don't have time to do that.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Repeating my disclaimer that I have no experience with online dating... If a guy sends a thoughtful message, the girl at least owes him an I'm sorry reply. If he gets rude, then block him. ...but NO, a woman with a profile on a dating site doesn't OWE every man who merely contacts her a reply. Nobody owes anybody anything on a dating site. I mean, what are you smoking? I'm sure the rejection can sting, but deal with it. Everybody gets rejected sometimes.
Author mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 If I responded to everyone, I'd have to dedicate a good portion of my day just to replying to people. And then, I'd get more and more e-mails because I'm online at the moment, which seems to be a huge attention tracker. I'd have to literally block out my day for it. Unfortunately, I have too much going on to do it. I don't think anyone owes me a response, so I don't know why I would owe one to anyone.
somedude81 Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 If a guy sends a thoughtful message. Some guys send out generic mass emails to tons of girls, that don't reference anything in the girls profile. It's fine to delete those messages. If a guy's message looks like he put some effort into it, the least a girl can do is say, "Sorry, I'm not interested." BTW that goes for more than just emails. (*somedude starts grumbling to himself about the girl he had three dates with who suddenly stoped replying to his texts)
dispatch3d Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Eh...maybe I shouldn't have posted his profile, but it is on his OKC site. Do all of you respond to 100% of messages women send on sites like this? Or are you just expecting women to reply to you but not the other way around? I'm sorry, I just don't have time to do that. If i'm not interested I don't respond. Women do the same so meh. I figure it's fair game?
meerkat stew Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Does OKC not have a block button? Match does, and also has a mechanic to report members who do this sort of thing. Use the tools the site gives you, INCLUDING the simple mouse click that tells someone who has obviously spent time writing you a personalized Email that you aren't interested. Problem solved. As an aside, I don't wonder at all that some guys eventually lash out on dating sites, the level of female rudeness in not replying at all is abhorrent. It takes two seconds to either a) click the site's "not interested" feature, or b) cut and paste a stock "not interested reply. The excuse that "I just don't have time to do that for all my incoming mails" rings hollow, as does the "well they usually keep pushing" excuse. BLOCK THEM if they persist. The sites are ANONYMOUS. You joined a dating site to meet men. Men approach you, some with crappy form letters, some with rude comments, some with thoughtful, custom Emails. Ignore the first two groups, but for goodness sakes, take the tiny amount of time necessary to respond even with a cut and paste or site feature to the third group. It's plain rude not to, and applies to men also.
Rorschach Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Eh...maybe I shouldn't have posted his profile, but it is on his OKC site. Do all of you respond to 100% of messages women send on sites like this? Or are you just expecting women to reply to you but not the other way around? I'm sorry, I just don't have time to do that. Haven't gotten many (read any) messages yet but I would respond. I can understand how attractive women would get alot of messages though. Which is why I don't even send messages to people who rate 'very selective responses'
Author mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Guys stop responding to texts and stuff all the time. I don't know why so many men feel women owe them something or hold women up to a certain standard they don't follow themselves. It seems a bit unfair. It's dating...the way it goes sometimes.
Author mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Does OKC not have a block button? Match does, and also has a mechanic to report members who do this sort of thing. Use the tools the site gives you, INCLUDING the simple mouse click that tells someone who has obviously spent time writing you a personalized Email that you aren't interested. Problem solved. As an aside, I don't wonder at all that some guys eventually lash out on dating sites, the level of female rudeness in not replying at all is abhorrent. It takes two seconds to either a) click the site's "not interested" feature, or b) cut and paste a stock "not interested reply. The excuse that "I just don't have time to do that for all my incoming mails" rings hollow, as does the "well they usually keep pushing" excuse. BLOCK THEM if they persist. The sites are ANONYMOUS. You joined a dating site to meet men. Men approach you, some with crappy form letters, some with rude comments, some with thoughtful, custom Emails. Ignore the first two groups, but for goodness sakes, take the tiny amount of time necessary to respond even with a cut and paste or site feature to the third group. It's plain rude not to, and applies to men also. There is a button to click to tell people you're not interested? This has never been used on me and I don't know how to use it. I'm sorry.
Mad Max Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Guys stop responding to texts and stuff all the time. I don't know why so many men feel women owe them something or hold women up to a certain standard they don't follow themselves. It seems a bit unfair. It's dating...the way it goes sometimes. Two wrongs don't make a right. Plus, guys not responding to texts isn't what the thread is about. It takes mere seconds to send an email saying you're not interested. It would be equally as rude if a guy didn't send an email if he wasn't interested.
Author mustangsally Posted September 6, 2010 Author Posted September 6, 2010 Two wrongs don't make a right. Plus, guys not responding to texts isn't what the thread is about. It takes mere seconds to send an email saying you're not interested. It would be equally as rude if a guy didn't send an email if he wasn't interested. Eh, it's just how the game works. I literally get 10-20 e-mails per day there and I don't have time to type out "Sorry, I'm not interested" e-mails to each person PLUS keep up with the people I am interested. I even have trouble with the latter! I'm also not seeing the button to click to show you're not interested. Can you point it out for me instead of yelling at me?
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