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I Seem to Shut Women Out of My Personal World


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Posted
Is it really true that if you don't like someone within the first 3 dates you probably never will?

 

Not necesarily but theres a good chance. If you've been on 3 dates with some one and have no problem breaking up with them then things probably should end. If you find yourself wanting to continue but havn't fallen in love then why not.

 

I think from my perspective it sometimes sounds like USMC continues to go out with women hes not really excited about. All I was trying to point out is you can't fake it untill you make it...

Posted

 

EDIT: Yay, 4000. :rolleyes:

 

I was pretty excited when I got to 2000.

 

We must really have no lives :laugh:

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Posted
I was pretty excited when I got to 2000.

 

We must really have no lives :laugh:

 

Hahah, I know...I think a little while back I made it my goal to reach threebyfate's astronomical post count...but she's got a month advantage... :rolleyes::laugh:

 

And yes, you're right...no lives at all... :p:lmao:

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Posted (edited)

I think from my perspective it sometimes sounds like USMC continues to go out with women hes not really excited about. All I was trying to point out is you can't fake it untill you make it...

 

And I think this stems from my previous belief that I was "interested" in anyone who was merely interested in me...even if I wasn't truly interested...all those years of thinking I wasn't very desirable eventually made me "desperate," for lack of a better term...

 

But I think things have changed now, and I feel like I'm actually worthy of dating women who really do 'wow' me...one in particular...:o:love:

Edited by USMCHokie
Posted

I've been guilty of this in the past, but for two very different reasons. I've kept them away from "my world" because either (1) I honestly really just really didn't care for them to be apart of it (I was indifferent towards them), or (2) because I liked them SO much that I was afraid to be judged. I figured, after all, my friends, my hobbies, my family, my apartment, the things and people I chose to surround myself with and come from make up who I am...and if they don't like those things, well then, they won't like me. That was unnerving to me.

 

I had a bigger problem with (2) when I was younger and lacked some self-confidence. Now it's more of a (1) thing, if it's an issue at all. But I still have moments of (2)... like when Skiman first came to my apartment, I watched him meander through the place, looking at the books on my bookshelf, checking out my kitchen, peaking in one of the bathrooms, and thinking, "OMG he's going to see something he doesn't like!" Was so silly to think that way, but it is what it is.

 

From your OP, I thought it could have been either one of these reasons, and thought it actually might be (2). But it sounds like some others have helped you figure out the real answer: you just weren't that into them (i.e., (1)).

Posted
And I think this stems from my previous belief that I was "interested" in anyone who was merely interested in me...even if I wasn't truly interested...all those years of thinking I wasn't very desirable eventually made me "desperate," for lack of a better term...

 

But I think things have changed now, and I feel like I'm actually worthy of dating women who really do 'wow' me...one in particular...:o:love:

 

Are you sure that there is a WOMAN out there that could wow you?

Posted
I feel like I'm actually worthy of dating women who really do 'wow' me...one in particular...:o:love:

 

You absolutely are... :love:

  • Author
Posted
I've been guilty of this in the past, but for two very different reasons. I've kept them away from "my world" because either (1) I honestly really just really didn't care for them to be apart of it (I was indifferent towards them), or (2) because I liked them SO much that I was afraid to be judged. I figured, after all, my friends, my hobbies, my family, my apartment, the things and people I chose to surround myself with and come from make up who I am...and if they don't like those things, well then, they won't like me. That was unnerving to me.

 

I had a bigger problem with (2) when I was younger and lacked some self-confidence. Now it's more of a (1) thing, if it's an issue at all. But I still have moments of (2)... like when Skiman first came to my apartment, I watched him meander through the place, looking at the books on my bookshelf, checking out my kitchen, peaking in one of the bathrooms, and thinking, "OMG he's going to see something he doesn't like!" Was so silly to think that way, but it is what it is.

 

From your OP, I thought it could have been either one of these reasons, and thought it actually might be (2). But it sounds like some others have helped you figure out the real answer: you just weren't that into them (i.e., (1)).

 

I know that in the weeks prior to the end, I had pretty much lost interest and didn't want her involved in my life because I knew I wanted out. But even early on when I thought I was interested, it wasn't necessarily (2) that kept me from letting her in...I had nothing to hide (except for maybe my twin size bed :rolleyes::laugh:) and I wasn't ashamed of anything I had going on in my life...I guess I wanted to keep my life separate because I had completely lost myself in my last serious relationship and wanted to make sure I didn't make the same mistake again...

 

I think I just have to make a conscious effort to include the next girl into my life...instead of just leeching off of her life...

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Posted
Are you sure that there is a WOMAN out there that could wow you?

 

Oh yea, most definitely...

 

 

You absolutely are... :love:

 

:love::love:

Posted
I know that in the weeks prior to the end, I had pretty much lost interest and didn't want her involved in my life because I knew I wanted out. But even early on when I thought I was interested, it wasn't necessarily (2) that kept me from letting her in...I had nothing to hide (except for maybe my twin size bed :rolleyes::laugh:) and I wasn't ashamed of anything I had going on in my life...

 

You were never really all that into her, it seems. When you're really into someone, you want to share your life with them, while at the same time becoming part of theirs. If you're sitting there on the couch watching HIMYM, you're laughing and feeling good...AND thinking about her, calling her, inviting her over to sit there with you...and vice versa.

 

But I would be embarrassed about the twin size bed... kidding. ;)

 

I guess I wanted to keep my life separate because I had completely lost myself in my last serious relationship and wanted to make sure I didn't make the same mistake again...

 

Been there, can totally relate. And you can do that without being so extreme, but of course you already realize that. :)

Posted
And I think this stems from my previous belief that I was "interested" in anyone who was merely interested in me...even if I wasn't truly interested...all those years of thinking I wasn't very desirable eventually made me "desperate," for lack of a better term...

 

But I think things have changed now, and I feel like I'm actually worthy of dating women who really do 'wow' me...one in particular...:o:love:

Is she getting a PhD in robotics? :lmao:

  • Author
Posted
You were never really all that into her, it seems. When you're really into someone, you want to share your life with them, while at the same time becoming part of theirs. If you're sitting there on the couch watching HIMYM, you're laughing and feeling good...AND thinking about her, calling her, inviting her over to sit there with you...and vice versa.

 

Yea, you're right...I know dragged it out a lot longer than it should have lasted...

 

I love HIMYM. Loving HIMYM is a requirement... ;)

 

And I don't have a couch either...my brother took it with him when he moved out... :rolleyes::laugh:

 

 

But I would be embarrassed about the twin size bed... kidding. ;)

 

Hah, but not really... :p

 

 

Been there, can totally relate. And you can do that without being so extreme, but of course you already realize that. :)

 

Yea, I definitely took it to the other extreme, but it was a good learning experience.

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Posted
Is she getting a PhD in robotics? :lmao:

 

Heheh, no...try again... :laugh:

Posted
I love HIMYM. Loving HIMYM is a requirement... ;)

 

Then you should know...

 

When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story. (That's my theme and status for the week!)

 

:love:

 

We need to get you a couch and a bigger bed. Then maybe you'll be a better host. ;)

  • Author
Posted
Then you should know...

 

When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead. True story. (That's my theme and status for the week!)

 

:love::love:

 

 

We need to get you a couch and a bigger bed. Then maybe you'll be a better host. ;)

 

Hahah, I'll write that down. :p

Posted

so who is the girl you like? some one you are dating or just some woman you know from a distance?

Posted
so who is the girl you like? some one you are dating or just some woman you know from a distance?

 

She is on LS ;)

Posted
So I recently realized that with every girl I've ever dated, I almost completely shut them out from my world...I don't do it intentionally, but I seem to do it consistently...no girl I've dated has ever seen my place...I don't introduce them to my friends...and if I decide to go do something, I rarely will invite them along...my family and oftentimes my friends don't even know I'm dating someone...I usually end up waiting for them to invite me over to her place...or I'll ask them out somewhere and meet at her place...

 

I have no idea why I do this...I certainly don't want to...I want to let the girl I'm dating into my world, but for whatever reason, I just don't think to do it...I always end up immersing myself in her world, meeting all her friends, staying at her place, etc. And then I keep my personal life completely separate from the relationship...

 

Is it because I'm not truly interested? Or does being a late bloomer affect my relationships? Or are there deeper issues? I'm lost...

 

Help...? :(

 

I only skimmed through the thread so my apologies if this is a repeat.

 

I have never had this issue when in a serious relationship. My only advice is that its all about the attitude. I always had the attitude that whomever I was dating I was completely into her and that I couldn't wait to show her off to everyone whom I associate with.

Posted
She is on LS ;)

 

Interesting! How the plot thickens...I was going to say her name starts with an 'L' but I'm not too sure now haha

Posted
Interesting! How the plot thickens...I was going to say her name starts with an 'L' but I'm not too sure now haha

 

IMO its pretty obvious who it is........

Posted
You absolutely are... :love:

 

:love:;)

 

I'd be getting a better bed if you want that certain someone sleeping in it;):laugh:

Posted
Closet h***...?:confused::o

 

??? I can't figure out what the *** is...

Posted
??? I can't figure out what the *** is...

 

Short for homo....sapean. :laugh:

  • Author
Posted
Short for homo....sapean. :laugh:

 

No homo. :laugh:

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