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I want him

spookie

By spookie
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spookie Established Member

spookie

Posted
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My boss that is. Yep. It's been more than 2 years now. I'm so committed to this job. :rolleyes:

 

He is still single, has been the entire time that I've known him. :laugh:

 

According to one of our mutual friends, he's liked another co-worker for 7+ years. I thought they had started to date, but, nope, she has no interest in him and is in a relationship with somebody else.

 

According to another one of my friends, he's an alcoholic, but whenever she sees him at bars, he's always alone. :o

 

For a while there (while I was dating my stbx and our department was undergoing changes) our "chemistry" appeared to have vanished. Lately tho... I feel it again.

 

What

 

are

 

the

 

chances?

 

What should I do?

 

Plain and simple, he's the guy I want to be with.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
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Plain and simple, he's the guy I want to be with.

 

Okay. After 2 years, you have permission to pounce. Pounce away, Spook! Pounce! And tell me all about it so I can live vicariously through this hot escapade! :bunny:

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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Spook - didn't he already tell you he wasn't interested in dating you after you told him you had a crush?

 

I'm not sure it's wise to put yourself in this position again, you know?

 

I think you're just looking for a rebound. :( Is the BF really going to be nexted soon? That makes me sad. You were with him a long time and seemed to really grow from this relationship.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Spook - didn't he already tell you he wasn't interested in dating you after you told him you had a crush?

 

I'm not sure it's wise to put yourself in this position again, you know?

 

I think you're just looking for a rebound. :( Is the BF really going to be nexted soon? That makes me sad. You were with him a long time and seemed to really grow from this relationship.

 

Damnit, JB. Why do you as my "other personality" have to be the voice of reason here?

 

Spook, I haven't followed closely enough. I didn't realize he'd told you he didn't want to date you before. Can you remind me of what happened??

Pink Cupcakes Established Member

Pink Cupcakes

Posted
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I wouldn't pounce because you can't really trust him not to report inappropriate behavior. I think this is because you are feeling disconnected from your current boyfriend, you are feeling lonely, and the boss is feeling like an option?

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spookie Established Member

spookie

Posted
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Spook - didn't he already tell you he wasn't interested in dating you after you told him you had a crush?

 

Naw. I told him I was interested about 1.5 years ago, and he said he was flattered and would try to get me transferred. Never happened. :o I mean, one could look at it and say, he's not interested, or he would have asked you out, but for two years, he hasn't dated ANYONE.

 

 

 

 

I think you're just looking for a rebound. :( Is the BF really going to be nexted soon? That makes me sad. You were with him a long time and seemed to really grow from this relationship.

 

Nah. I've liked the boss before, during, and after. But after waiting for so long, I'd just given up hope, you know? And everyone was telling me I should give dating other people a try, so I did, but now that my R is over, I'm not even a little bit sad. Just relieved that now I don't have to be torn as to what I'd do in the off-chance my boss asked me out.

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

Posted
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Damnit, JB. Why do you as my "other personality" have to be the voice of reason here?

 

Spook, I haven't followed closely enough. I didn't realize he'd told you he didn't want to date you before. Can you remind me of what happened??

 

And why do you, as my other self, have to be the party girl willy nilly here? :lmao:

 

As I recall, and Spookie can correct me, she confessed her crush to him, or to HR, I can't recall. Either way, he did tell her he wasn't going to go there. :(

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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for two years, he hasn't dated ANYONE.

 

What do you make of that, Spook? Two years is a LONG time to not date anyone. I mean, even the biggest loser (not that he's one) can get an internet date off Craigslist.

 

So, one of three things can be deduced:

 

1 - he's gay

2 - he has a private life that no one is privvy to

3 - he is EXCEPTIONALLY dysfunctional

 

I vote for 3.

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spookie Established Member

spookie

Posted
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Okay. After 2 years, you have permission to pounce. Pounce away, Spook! Pounce! And tell me all about it so I can live vicariously through this hot escapade! :bunny:

 

Ugh. How does one pounce in this kind of setting? Work is BOTH of our lives.... if I didn't value my career at this company, I would have left already, you know? And he's even more loyal/ committed than I am.

 

Ugh.

 

In this situation, though, is it reasonable to leave?? Or is that a dumb move, quitting a job I like for a guy I'm not sure likes me?

OpenBook Established Member

OpenBook

Posted
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What do you make of that, Spook? Two years is a LONG time to not date anyone. I mean, even the biggest loser (not that he's one) can get an internet date off Craigslist.

 

So, one of three things can be deduced:

 

1 - he's gay

2 - he has a private life that no one is privvy to

3 - he is EXCEPTIONALLY dysfunctional

 

I vote for 3.

 

or 4 - he's an alcoholic, and avoiding getting involved with anyone because of it. That would be my vote.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Hasn't "dated" as in hasn't had a mini-relationship, or hasn't dated as in hasn't even been out on one date?

 

Could it be a matter of semantics?

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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or 4 - he's an alcoholic, and avoiding getting involved with anyone because of it. That would be my vote.

 

Oooo - good call, Open. Hadn't even considered the addiction angle.

 

She did mention he is found alone in bars a lot.

 

Oy. :(

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Take it from me, DO NOT date an alcoholic. :(

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spookie Established Member

spookie

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What do you make of that, Spook? Two years is a LONG time to not date anyone. I mean, even the biggest loser (not that he's one) can get an internet date off Craigslist.

 

So, one of three things can be deduced:

 

1 - he's gay

2 - he has a private life that no one is privvy to

3 - he is EXCEPTIONALLY dysfunctional

 

I vote for 3.

 

I know he's not gay and I'm fairly confident about the lack of a private life. I mean, between knowing he's a workaholic and a professional athlete on the weekends, and having a alcoholic friend who lives in his town and runs into him at bars all the time, I have a pretty good understanding of where his time goes...

 

3's a strong possibility...

 

But then, aren't I dysfunctional too for being hung up on him all this time?

 

Maybe we're dysfunctional in the same way....

 

Recently, we did this exercise wherin we went through a set of values cards, picking out our most important values, and ours were almost identical. :love:

 

I know my desire for loyalty above everything else is the reason I have trouble letting myself be happy in most relationships... loyalty was his #1, too. Maybe he just has trouble trusting people. But he has some trust in me. And he's expressed his loyalty toward me on multiple occasions.

 

He's also pretty awkward/ shy but has told me that I was fun and easy to talk to.

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spookie Established Member

spookie

Posted
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or 4 - he's an alcoholic, and avoiding getting involved with anyone because of it. That would be my vote.

 

I don't think he's actually an alcoholic.

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spookie Established Member

spookie

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Hasn't "dated" as in hasn't had a mini-relationship, or hasn't dated as in hasn't even been out on one date?

 

Could it be a matter of semantics?

 

I believe he's had one blind date in 2 years that wasn't followed by a second date.

 

Another co-workers (my boss' best friend at work) has said he's never met anyone with quite the knack for repulsing women. :lmao::lmao::lmao: This is hilarious given my attraction toward him from the very first time we met, when I was an intern.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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I know my desire for loyalty above everything else is the reason I have trouble letting myself be happy in most relationships... loyalty was his #1, too. Maybe he just has trouble trusting people. But he has some trust in me. And he's expressed his loyalty toward me on multiple occasions.

 

Isn't dating someone you work with the easiest way to test and most likely cause a failure of that loyalty you and he have as number 1 ?

LisaLee Established Member

LisaLee

Posted
Posted

My first thought reading that he has not been on a date with anyone in two years is that he's gay.

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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Fair enough, Spook.

 

I guess my point was more that it's unusual for a healthy male to not date. Two years is a LONG time. There has to be a reason behind it.

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spookie Established Member

spookie

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Isn't dating someone you work with the easiest way to test and most likely cause a failure of that loyalty you and he have as number 1 ?

 

Someone I work with... why would that cause a failure of loyalty? Maybe in some companies that is frowned upon, but I know dozens of married couples at mine who met at work. People tend to stay here for years and develop strong personal relationships. It's honestly not discouraged. Some of upper management work with their spouses. It's a weird place, which is why I fit in so well.

 

Dating my boss... yah, that won't fly, which is one of the reasons we're not dating right now. I HOPE it's the only one.

 

I don't know what "advice" I'm looking for, exactly.

 

How do I go for it, when I know I can't date him while he's my boss, and I don't want to leave the company because it's so awesome all-employee meetings make me cry with how sappy they are?

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spookie Established Member

spookie

Posted
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My first thought reading that he has not been on a date with anyone in two years is that he's gay.

 

I have SEEN his boner through his pants after several particularly emotionally-charged meetings with me. He's not gay.

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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I have SEEN his boner through his pants after several particularly emotionally-charged meetings with me. He's not gay.

 

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

That struck me as very funny. Not sure why. I'm feeling a little Will Ferrell tonight, I think.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Do people still use the word "boner"? :lmao:

 

I'm getting worked up. Off to take a shower.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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I have SEEN his boner through his pants after several particularly emotionally-charged meetings with me. He's not gay.

 

 

:laugh: ^5

CLC2008 Established Member

CLC2008

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:lmao::lmao:

 

That struck me as very funny. Not sure why. I'm feeling a little Will Ferrell tonight, I think.

 

 

Ahh, the Willster. :love::love::)

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