carhill Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 IMO, in proper society, a thank you card is appropriate when receiving a gift, which I presume this portrait was. As the portrait was a very personal gift, so must the token of appreciation be. It's up to him how to proceed from there. Sounds like you've already had two dates. He better get frisky soon.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 He wasn't desperate. QUOTE] He was desperate. Maybe not in the general sense where a guy is ' desperate" to sleep with her, but he was desperate to impress her. While the gesture is nice, it generally does not give off a good vibe this early in a date. Say you were dating a girl for barely two weeks, and already she's talking about getting married and planning a family with you. You would think that's crazy.
carhill Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 I missed the part about marriage and children... OP? If none, a personal gift *might* be considered excessive by some, but the OP seems comfortable with this. Since apparently her date did not pose her but rather did it from memory or from pictures widely available, it speaks to his talent and desire. If he's hetero, he better move beyond hugging quickly, IMO
Author saiveca Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 I missed the part about marriage and children... OP? If none, a personal gift *might* be considered excessive by some, but the OP seems comfortable with this. Since apparently her date did not pose her but rather did it from memory or from pictures widely available, it speaks to his talent and desire. If he's hetero, he better move beyond hugging quickly, IMO I think xpaperxcutx was making a figure of speech. I knew my friend was an artist and I had expressed my interest in seeing his work. I just didn't expect he'd do a painting just for me!
carhill Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 OK, here's a question to define that: Would *you* consider the painting of a portrait to be the equivalent of discussing marriage and children? It's important to understand your perception of the events. It sounds like the two of you have enjoyed each other immensely, both 'catching up' from your past, as well as the discourse of the present. Evidently, the feelings he has caused him to capture you on canvas. You apparently feel positive about that. Am I doing OK so far? If so, what do you propose to do next? Here's a suggestion: What are your talents? How can you show him how you feel in a way which is uniquely personal to you that he will appreciate? Stbx was (and is) a very accomplished cook. On or about our third date, she cooked a special recipe and set a masterful table for dinner in her modest duplex. I never left...... slept on the sofa Anyway, that's one idea. You'll likely think up something which works for you. The key is progress, both in getting to know each other, as well as building intimacy. Remember, progress, even if only a little at a time.
Author saiveca Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 carhill, I think you are reading things right. I don't have any particular talent, really. As per your suggestion I might send him a card.
carhill Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Romance can be inspiration. Energy to stretch beyond the ordinary and comfortable. These are feelings worthy of note, as is their absence. Time and further experience will help you define that. Do you know how to flirt when writing a thank you card? Ponder that while you're shopping for and/or writing one. Create interest and a bit of mystery. So, when is the next date?
Pfiend101 Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Personally I think people often look for a way out. They over think things such as this. Looking for a way out because they are afraid they hit the jackpot in their mate. They are afraid that a relationship with this person might actually work. So they often sabotage it with weird thoughts. This guy is a talented artist and probably wanted to show off his skills and impress you. I hope you don't write this guy off and end up regretting it.
Author saiveca Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 Romance can be inspiration. Energy to stretch beyond the ordinary and comfortable. These are feelings worthy of note, as is their absence. Time and further experience will help you define that. Do you know how to flirt when writing a thank you card? Ponder that while you're shopping for and/or writing one. Create interest and a bit of mystery. So, when is the next date? I guess I'm going to thank him and say I look forward to our next date, which hopefully will come quicker than the second date! I've been in many situations where a romantic guy was a complete turn off but this guy definitely left a good impression on me.
Author saiveca Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 Personally I think people often look for a way out. They over think things such as this. Looking for a way out because they are afraid they hit the jackpot in their mate. They are afraid that a relationship with this person might actually work. So they often sabotage it with weird thoughts. This guy is a talented artist and probably wanted to show off his skills and impress you. I hope you don't write this guy off and end up regretting it. Yes I realize that and I think you are right. We all meet a ton of attractive people but I can't think of the last time I had so much fun talking to a guy. I mean, can you really talk with someone for 4 or 5 hours without chemistry? I know I definitely feel something today!
carhill Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 I guess I'm going to thank him and say I look forward to our next date, which hopefully will come quicker than the second date! LOL, progress, but slowly. 'I thought the portrait captured me perfectly. You have an amazing talent. You see people. I'd love to learn more about that.' Then, leave it to him. Progress must be mutual. You can't drag him along
Cee Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 I go weak in the knees for artists, but no boyfriend has ever painted or drawn me. But a platonic friend painted my portrait as part of an art project he was doing. He was painting other pictures too, so it wasn't a romantic gesture. When I saw the painting, I couldn't express my feelings well. Having someone paint a good portrait is such an intimate and amazing thing. I felt bad that I couldn't express the joy and awe I felt. I think hanging the portrait prominently in your home & making dinner for him might be nice. And of course, a hand written thank you note, which expresses your caring for him is great, too. A letter is a rare and wonderful thing, nowadays. Keep us posted about this guy. This could turn into a wonderful love story.
dispatch3d Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh do him a huge favour. Don't date him (you don't deserve him). Instead call him up, tell him he's a great artist but stop painting pictures for woman who don't deserve that ****. Instead, just show them he can paint and if they do something nice enough then paint a picture for them. This is sooooooo ridiculous. Guy gets a hug for painting a **** picture for you. LOLLLL.....
carhill Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 This is where the guy needs to take control and do what LS males always implore other LS males to do - KISS HER. If he had, instead of the hug, which clearly seems to have disappointed her, the whole dynamic could be different. That third date would already be set up. She'd be looking forward to the next kiss and what else this artist has up his sleeve. This is how paths converge or diverge. The OP is interested. It's up to her how to show that interest. It's up to the man to show his interest. The painting was *one* sign. What's next?
zengirl Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 I went out for dinner with a former schoolmate and it was fantastic. Conversation was flowing as we laughed for hours. Fast forward a few weeks and we go for dinner again. Same thing happens, the chemistry is obvious. After dinner we went for a long walk and it turns out he led me to his studio. Once inside, he asked me to have a seat as he revealed his latest piece of work: my own portrait! It was beautiful! We ate berries and drank wine. It was soooo romantic! Part of me wants to respond with something equally romantic but part of me also thinks this would be kind of desperate... What do you all think about this guy? What really matters is how you feel about it. Romantic becomes desperate when it is at such a level that the other person isn't reciprocating. That's it. If you feel it was desperate, it was. If you feel it was romantic, it was. It was definitely risky on his part. So, we know he takes risks, at least.
Author saiveca Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 What really matters is how you feel about it. Romantic becomes desperate when it is at such a level that the other person isn't reciprocating. That's it. If you feel it was desperate, it was. If you feel it was romantic, it was. It was definitely risky on his part. So, we know he takes risks, at least. I think you are right and that's how I tend to view this as well.
Author saiveca Posted August 29, 2010 Author Posted August 29, 2010 If I send him a handwritten note, will it make it really obvious that I'm interested and that he has to make the next move? I wouldn't want to send him something and then be in limbo.
meerkat stew Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Handwritten note is an excellent idea. I don't think it makes you look too keen at all. Once you two have a bit more water under the bridge and more information, assuming things are going well and progressing, you -could- offer to let him do a nude or partial nude of you, that level of trust would be very sexy to most artists I've known, would demonstrate a certain level of maturity and sophistication on your part, and might just turn him on immensely also. But for now, handwritten thank you is a great idea.
dispatch3d Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 stop looking to pass notes like this is grade 7 science class. Just see him again if you like him romantically. If you don't do him a favor and stop seeing him.
meerkat stew Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 stop looking to pass notes like this is grade 7 science class. Just see him again if you like him romantically. If you don't do him a favor and stop seeing him. You are aware of what a "Thank You" note is right?
NeoGen85 Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 Can I say something? At find myself, "artistic". In fact, I did something similar for my girlfriend before we started dating. What was even more of a challenge is that she didn't display affection as easily as other, so I always knew she wasn't easy to get through. I wasn't looking forward to getting her in bed, or even a outrageous romantic kiss. I just wanted to do something for her that I never done before. You see..sometimes when you really like a person you might do anything just to impress them. At the time, my girlfriend and I were more so in a platonic relationship with strange vibes. But for some reason I just kept coming back to her. It was Valentine's weekend in South Carolina. God kind of made the day magical. I've lived everywhere and experienced snow before. She's lived in SC all her life and has never seen snow over Charleston skies. Well, that night she did. I took her to a Stingray hockey game which she enjoyed. We even played in the snow whether it be doing donuts and drifting in the parking lot; or the typical snow ball fights. We headed back to my house and took a walk in the neighborhood before heading back for some hot chocolate and watching the opening of the 2010 Winter Olympic Games. Before the night ended I presented her with what I created. Her reaction wasn't a kiss, or jumping my bones. It was her smile and "rosey" cheeks. That's all I wanted to see.. Not everyone can write music, play an instrument, or even paint. Not to mention I was able to give something meaningful that showed her how I felt without paying a lot of money. Hell, and I created.
NeoGen85 Posted August 29, 2010 Posted August 29, 2010 stop looking to pass notes like this is grade 7 science class. Just see him again if you like him romantically. If you don't do him a favor and stop seeing him. Agreed. It can't get easier then this.
Author saiveca Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 I guess I won't have to do anything as the guy called me! We're having dinner again this week! I'm so nervous!!!
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