Star Gazer Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 My bf falls into this category as do many of my close male acquaintances. Do you think he sees you as wife material though? That's what buying the cow is all about, after all...
LisaLee Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I suppose there's a lot of gray area in my own situation, as I met him online while living in another state, and we spent months emailing and IMing, talking on the phone, before ever going on our first 'date.' Sorry, Stung, I think your exempt. Same thing with me, SO is out of state... when we decided to be an item we spent months online talking, cooing, gazing fondly, etc. Sexual tension really built up... we had sex within the first 10 minutes of seeing each other.
spookie Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Do you think he sees you as wife material though? That's what buying the cow is all about, after all... I don't know if he's seeing me as wife material but I'm certain his qualification is based on other criteria.
Jilly Bean Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I won't say "most" but many guys are much more open-minded than that. My bf falls into this category as do many of my close male acquaintances. To a degree, but I think it depends on the context of your first meeting. Did your current BF stab you in the ass with his finger within hours of meeting you? I gotta say - it's just a very odd first sexual encounter activity. Personally, if I hooked up with a stranger at a party and our exchange amounted to this, I'd feel pretty dirty, and not because of the sluttiness of sex with a stranger, but because of the TYPE of sex. Hence why I said I didn't think he was buying the cow, it's been one "date." That said, I don't think he's even gotten "the milk" yet. Maybe some other form of dairy... LOL. Perhaps, but who knows what really happened? I'm often not sure how much of her stories are reality, and how much is embroidered, but that's perhaps because of the fictionalized storytelling. It creates some sense of illegitimacy and makes it difficult to follow. lol
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Maybe some other form of dairy... LOL good one...
Stung Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 (edited) Sorry, Stung, I think your exempt. Same thing with me, SO is out of state... when we decided to be an item we spent months online talking, cooing, gazing fondly, etc. Sexual tension really built up... we had sex within the first 10 minutes of seeing each other. Ha ha you floozy! I made my husband wait almost five hours before I forced him out of his pants, surely that makes me a 'good girl' . However, we hadn't talked about being an item or done any online cooing, not until after that first night together IRL. Before that, we had been convincing ourselves that we were just friends, because neither of us put much faith into 'virtual' relationships. We even dated other people casually and told each other about it. Granted, the lines were blurry, and we were both a little unclear on what was going on and felt very drawn to each other. Do I need to dig up another example to prove people and relationships aren't always as one-note as Loveshack often seems to prefer? There was a period in my mid-20s when I was having some strange symptoms, headaches, syncope, tremors in one hand, and I went through a battery of medical tests, blood draws, brain scans--my neurologist was initially afraid I had brain cancer. On the day that I found out I didn't have brain cancer and was in fact healthy as the proverbial horse except for some minor nerve damage, I went out celebrating, and part of my celebration was to take home a dark handsome man from the bar. He called me the next day and ended up my serious monogamous boyfriend for over a year, and we're still friends to this day ten years later. I guess I've just never thought of myself as a cow, and I try not to associate with men who would think of me as a cow, either. Edited August 24, 2010 by Stung
sagetalk Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I'm not even sure what that post was. I felt like a 14 year old girl reading a romance novel. I hope I never feel that way again . I certainly hope you're just making that up and it didn't really happen. You are attracted to dangerous men, I think you find that exciting. I find it troubling. I just hope you do as well while your still young enough to recover from the massive amounts of damage these types of men cause.
Stung Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I'm not even sure what that post was. I felt like a 14 year old girl reading a romance novel. I hope I never feel that way again . I certainly hope you're just making that up and it didn't really happen. You are attracted to dangerous men, I think you find that exciting. I find it troubling. I just hope you do as well while your still young enough to recover from the massive amounts of damage these types of men cause. :lmao: At one point I found myself wondering if Marsle's account had been hacked. But I've read worse on Literotica. As for the dangerous types, yeah, my main reaction sifting through the first part of the post was that the guy sounded pretty douchey. I'm not there though so I can't see to what extent he's really turning his life around, I can only take Marsle's word for it that he's quit drinking and douching around and is serious about getting his act together, and that she likes him all the better for it. Who can say? I'm in my mid-thirties, and in the past fifteen years I've seen a LOT of former party kids clean themselves up and get reoriented in life, sometimes with fantastic results I wouldn't have predicted in a million years. I've also seen a lot of them slip right back into old patterns, or keep sliding right on down to rock-bottom-land. Anyway, Marsle's young, she's experimenting. Maybe with this guy, maybe with creative writing.
sagetalk Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Anyway, Marsle's young, she's experimenting. Maybe with this guy, maybe with creative writing. I can't help it, I'm a protective person by nature. That and I have a little sister that has tried to date creepy guys which makes me hate it even more. This isn't the first guy like this I've read about from her, when does experimenting become a lifestyle? I think it's time Marsle began experimenting with dating guys that want her for more than just sex.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I just hope you do as well while your still young enough to recover from the massive amounts of damage these types of men cause. It was just his finger that first night...
FearandLoathing Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 this post kills me - I thought it was a story! Now that I know it isn't, it's just confusing and hilarious. *ahem* Anyway... it's only been one date. Don't get yourself too worked up over it now, but see if he's willing to hang out more and just take it from there. I couldn't tell if you mentioned when he broke up with the other girl, but it could be that he's looking for a rebound also. Just go with the flow. Perhaps you should think about looking into creative writing as a serious hobby.
Mme. Chaucer Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I am curious about what signals this fellow has been giving you, Marsle, that are leading you to think that marriage might be on his mind. You know that if he takes you out on dates and pays for them, and has sex with you ... that still counts as "getting the milk for free." If you move in with him and he pays half, that also still qualifies as free milk. Heck, if you move in with him and he pays for EVERYTHING, he STILL gets the milk for free. "Buying the cow" refers to marriage. And the more I think about it, the more I'm troubled that you would use this wretched old cliche referencing the bovine in regards to yourself. Anyway, have fun.
sweetjasmine Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 I guess I've just never thought of myself as a cow, and I try not to associate with men who would think of me as a cow, either. Yeah, I don't get that. I don't get a lot of things about this story, like: - competing with her BFF over some random "target" as part of a game - judging him for smoking pot when she was perfectly happy to join him in it - judging him for drinking when she drinks, too - using someone as a sex toy for an ego boost over the course of a year - texting someone about birthday kisses and calling in her booty call, when last she heard he was seeing someone - assuming his response means he's single - being confused that someone might want to possibly be more than a back-up emergency booty call and source of validation/ego boost - being confused that someone (or rather, this guy specifically) might want more than just sexual contact from her Maybe it's the story format, but I'm honestly baffled.
dispatch3d Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 lol ****, nice guy. Who needs game when 3 chicks decide to make you into the challenge of the night for no particular reason. At least you know you're a match with him because you're 2 other friends were interested.
MrNate Posted August 24, 2010 Posted August 24, 2010 Um. This is different. I got lost after the ass-man part. But I'm glad to see she prefers those.
my body is a cage Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I was/am in a situation similar to this, marsle; the only thing I will say is--don't. go. backward. You've already slept with him. Don't suggest backtracking from that, and don't agree if he suggests it. Just have fun and see where things go. sorry i know this is a tangent, but why do you suggest this? i recently saw a guy i had had a fling with for the first time since going abroad for the summer. he had said he was going to visit me abroad, never did, then we reconnected when i got back and he confessed that he couldnt have anything serious with anyone bc of his emotional problems/ past. regardless of his issues, i really liked him, and i know he at least really liked me before. we hooked up and were about to sleep together but then i stopped him because i said i didnt want to get hurt... although i am very attracted to him, i wasnt sure how i would feel if i had slept with him even though he had just given me that talk. we fell asleep in each others arms and he walked me to the subway station in the morning and was generally sweet. he said he still wanted to see me though, but i havent heard from him in since then... i know he has a lot of his mind right now and im not in the city and generally i inform others when i am, but i am wondering if i should have slept with him/ if that matters. was i trying to manipulate him sexually? how would i have felt if i had slept with him? would i be ok with him not calling then? would he have lost or gained respect for me? what confuses me is that it was about my own thought process, lack of understsnding sex, rather than what i desired.
jamesum Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Only women can talk about using someone as a booty call without inciting anger in one sentence and complain about being a booty call in the next sentence and actually receive sympathy ...
curlygirl40 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Sorry but the entire time I read the original story and all of the responses all I could think was "Moooon River" I need to stop watching 80's movies. Had to get that off my chest. Carry on...
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