Trying to Understand Him After a FWBs Situation

[Katrina65]

Hey guys. I'm confused.

 

I met a guy who I have VERY strong chemistry with. I was not looking for a relationship, as I'm in a transitional period of life and am really busy, but was not adverse letting one develop over time if there was mutual interest. I find this guy to be really funny, witty, attractive, etc, and just absolutely enjoy him. Overall, I just really...LIKE him and am very physically and spiritually attracted to him.

 

Anyhow, I had his number (he did not have mine) and sent him a text message. Nothing flirty--just a question. He responded, and started up a text friendship with me, which he quickly escalated to a VERY flirty text-ship. He was texting me ALL the time over the course of weeks. And I was enjoying it and having fun, flirting back. We admitted having the hots for one another.

 

Now, again, I LIKE him, but was not expecting anything serious from this--I didn't expect a relationship or commitment. At this point in my life, an occassion FWBs situation seemed just about right.

 

Anyhow, we agreed to met up for a FWB type hook-up. Just a hot day of fun and pleasure. And we had a ridiculously hot time. Awesome--I was happy. But then, immediately after, he got up and kicked me out. Not so awesome (had he told me before hand he had X amount of minutes--cool--but that didn't happen). He texted me about an hour later, saying he really enjoyed seeing me. Now, ha, an interesting tidbit of info here, is he had me meet him at an extended stay hotel. When I asked why he had this room, he said he really had to run, and he'd be sure to tell me another time (of course, which never came).

 

I saw him later that night at an event we both had to attend. He asked to sit next to me and made small talk, trying to make me laugh, which I did. But he was quick to leave after. The texting dropped off significantly--but not completely. Almost felt like a fishing line being thrown out to see if I'd still tug at it?

 

The texts became less flirty, but still with SOME flirtatiousness--but definitely, there was a change. He told me that he has such incredible chemistry with me and finds me incredibly hot, but doesn't know if he can provide me with what I need, and that his life is a mess, and that he's not looking for anything serious at all. I mentioned, I hadn't been asking for anything serious--I wasn't looking for a relationship or commitment. Just enjoyed him as a person, whether it be fun and flirty banter, FWBs, or a friendship. He told me that he was sorry for freaking out and becoming distant...and not to stop the flirty banter with him. He said that he is going through a rough situation at the moment in life, and didn't want to go into details about it, but that might also be making him distant. And not to think it was me that was causing the distance (which I think may have been an excuse).

 

I notice he controls information. He won't tell me anything about what's going on in his life. He says it's a mess though. I've made mention that I'm surprised he's single, being as attractive and charismatic as he is--which he just ignores, which makes me wonder if he's just not SINGLE? I don't know how to find out--he certainly won't tell me and avoids any question about that.

 

I've mentioned I'm fine just developing a friendship. If the FWBs thing isn't working, no big deal. It seems when I mentioned that I would stop having sex with him, he became more interested again and started acting all flirty once more! I additionally said if he didn't want a friendship, that's fine, too, but he just needs to be upfront--to which he acted sad that I even brought up this thought.

 

I keep getting to the point where I think, "eh, just walk away. He's just not interested...and he's probably just a player, got what he wanted, and doesn't need anything else." But he keeps mentioning he thinks I was brought into his life for a reason, and that he values me as a person...but then mentions how messed up his life is, etc. I don't know if he just talks to me as a means of trying to be nice and not outright reject me, or if he really does see me as a friend, or if he's still interested in a FWBs situation. Maybe he wants to keep me around JUST enough to be able to contact me if he gets horny, but wants to keep a complete wall against me at all other times? I care about him as a friend, and feel a special bond for some reason, and am still attracted to him, although don't feel the need to "possess him" in a relationship sense. It's strange.

 

He's not making any efforts to see me. When I mention it would be fun doing something together, he says it WOULD be SO fun...and says how sweet I am, and how he absolutely adores me...but doesn't seem to want to follow through on anything. He doesn't seem interested in finding out about me. He seems somewhat distant and certainly like he's hiding some important information. But, at the same time, every few days, he sends a random text, seemingly to make sure I'm still there.

 

Not sure the best course of action to take. Just cut things off and stop trying to be a friend? Try to be a friend during this "hard time", which I'm not even sure what "my life is messed up right now" means? Stop the FWBs? Try to make it merely a FWBs situation? Demand to know what the heck is going on in his life? I have no issues with waiting, as I'm not interested in anyone else at the moment and have a pretty full life, but if he's just toying with me or really would prefer I leave him alone, I want to respect that as well. I just feel the signals are so mixed and like I'm missing part of the puzzle.

 

Anyone have any ideas as to what could be going on here? I'm confused. I hear about guys who completely stop contacting a girl after being with her. But, haven't had much experience with guys who dart...but are still KIND of there...every so often throwing out a tidbit. I have no clue what he wants or what's going on here or what the best course of action to take is.

[xpaperxcutx]

Highlight this: FWB

You knew the position you'd gotten yourself into, so there is no need to justify his actions. What he did was typical fWB behaviour seeing that he had no attachment to you so he treats the way he wanted to treat you. And by placing yourself in such a position, you entitled yourself to being disrespected.

 

So what do you want from him?

 

His current behaviour spells only one thing- he wants you for sex. He calls you only at his convenience and then he " throws" you out.

 

Why do you justify his behaviour that he's battling internal demons and that if he was able to, he would date you? Come on! Psycologically termed--- he's being a manipulative ass----.

 

Oh and any guy in search of sexual allievance always throws out a hook to lure the fishes.

[Katrina65]

Ah, thanks for the feedback. That makes sense. I don't have a lot of experience with the FWBs thing--I'm usually a relationship gal. I'd assumed "F" being the first letter of the acronymn, there was going to be an emphasis on "friends", haha. Ugh, how naive I am.

 

So I guess this means, the pattern would probably be, I stop contacting him, he'll keep his distance, then the moment he gets horny and has a moment, I'll be contacted with the lure and hooked...and released. And all in all, the "friend" could be left out of the acronymn altogether...

 

DAMN! I knew there had to be a catch to this FWBs thing, LOL.

 

Thanks again for helping me understand.

 

On that note, is there any known way to transform a FWB into a friendship instead then? I think, now that I understand FWBs, that I'd rather just have him as a friend!!!

[Star Gazer]

Short story:

 

You're having a sex-only relationship with a man at a hotel who won't share anything with you about his personal life other than to tell you that it's "a mess," and he won't even confirm that he's indeed single...

 

Girl, are you blind? He's MARRIED.

[Katrina65]

Oh, and you asked what I want from him. That's a good question. I've been asking myself the same thing.

 

I think, what I want, is to have honesty and open communication with him. To not feel like a burden, but instead, someone that he values in some way. Be able to laugh with him. Joke with him. Flirt with each other. Maybe see him once a month, give or take, and have a physical, hot encounter where we try new things we'd been talking about. Maybe just have some fun, like go hiking. I guess I'd also like him to express some sort of interest in me as a person--in the way friends do for one another. Like, feel able to talk with one another about what's up in our lives without feeling like I've overstepped boundaries. I'd like him to open up to me a bit, so I can be a friend in return, because I really do care about what's going on in his life, and that he's having a hard time.

 

I don't need commitment, but ideally, would hope for honesty and that he could let me know if he's with someone or getting serious about someone, so I could respectfully bow out and not cause issues there.

[Katrina65]

Ugh, Star Gazer. I sometimes miss the big picture for all the details. I've certainly wondered if he's married, but he "acts" like he's divorced, being careful to use words to make it sound like such, at least.

 

I bet the story goes, he's separated. Has the extended stay hotel because he got kicked out recently. Probably got kicked out for hooking up with people like me. And now, he feels guilty, because he wants to fix his marriage, and is being distant with me in hopes he can save his marriage. While I'm wondering what the heck is going on. It's all speculation, but it would make sense.

 

Dammit. Why do I have to like him.

[Star Gazer]

Why do I have to like him.

 

You don't.

 

He's a serial cheater and has no integrity. I don't even believe for a second that he's separated. I think that's where he takes his mistresses, plain and simple.

[dispatch3d]

There is something fundamental here about guys and girls that you just don't understand it really shines through in your post.

 

Guys and girls do not handle problems the same. They handle them completely DIFFERENTLY. COMPLETELY.

 

We don't look for support or whatever. We aren't looking for suggestions on how to fix them (unless we specifically ask). Basically if I have a problem I'm not looking for tidbits of information unless I talk about the problem with you. If I talk about the problem with you, you can assume you are trusted and are there to fix the problem (not support my feelings or something, or act as a good friend and reassure me). So unless he talks about the problem specifically with you, you need to assume he's handling it and not ask him any information.

 

Another thing we do is we tend to withdraw from everything, go in our cave and do some calculations, deep thought, and analysis. We then come up with a plan/idea/solutoin to the problem and try it out. If this doesn't work we go back in the cave, figure out another solution, repeat. Some select people we truly trust will be in on the problem, the rest of the world will not be and suggestions/etc. from them are not wanted nor appreciated.

 

I did this recently when I had 3 weeks to study for the gmat. I went into my cave, talked to very few people, reduced the number of nights I drank a night, and spent the majority of my time studying. That is all I did. I reduced other activities (even cleaning! yikes!) to make more time for studying because I was that focused.

 

You cannot reason with him into a relationship or set standards you want. Tell him where you're current expectations are and then leave it at that. The remainder of your efforts should be in getting him motivated to see you more often. Guys do not want to talk about status' of relationships. Don't try to reason him into some scenario. If you actually want fwb I don't see why whether he's currently in a relationship or not matters. He can't actually tell you other people he's dating because it will upset you. You are on a need to know basis (and should be) for a reason with his other girl interests.

 

Hope this helps. I assume you can handle the attraction bit you've been doing it your whole life.

[Katrina65]

Whoa, that is SO FOREIGN to me, Star Gazer. As a faithful person myself, it's hard for me to even understand or comprehend why a person would do that. But, I guess I can't project my own ways of being onto him, and I need to accept it for what it is.

 

It's probably best to leave the fisherman and swim to some other water:)

[dispatch3d]

Ugh, Star Gazer. I sometimes miss the big picture for all the details. I've certainly wondered if he's married, but he "acts" like he's divorced, being careful to use words to make it sound like such, at least.

 

I bet the story goes, he's separated. Has the extended stay hotel because he got kicked out recently. Probably got kicked out for hooking up with people like me. And now, he feels guilty, because he wants to fix his marriage, and is being distant with me in hopes he can save his marriage. While I'm wondering what the heck is going on. It's all speculation, but it would make sense.

 

Dammit. Why do I have to like him.

 

That would be the most drama filled solution you could think up and the main reason you would chose it (because it has the most emotions in it). Stop pretending you can read-into things to the degree you can figure out an entire back story he isn't telling you. Even if it's fun for you. You have no proof of anything he's doing, and have no idea why he has the hotel. You only know he has that room, you do not know the reason he has that room.

 

Supposing this story is literally the most dramatic thing that could be happening+the most plot heavy. This is the exact reason you chose to believe it. Not a good reason to go with a particular back story at all .

[xpaperxcutx]

Oh, and you asked what I want from him. That's a good question. I've been asking myself the same thing.

 

I think, what I want, is to have honesty and open communication with him. To not feel like a burden, but instead, someone that he values in some way. Be able to laugh with him. Joke with him. Flirt with each other. Maybe see him once a month, give or take, and have a physical, hot encounter where we try new things we'd been talking about. Maybe just have some fun, like go hiking. I guess I'd also like him to express some sort of interest in me as a person--in the way friends do for one another. Like, feel able to talk with one another about what's up in our lives without feeling like I've overstepped boundaries. I'd like him to open up to me a bit, so I can be a friend in return, because I really do care about what's going on in his life, and that he's having a hard time.

 

I don't need commitment, but ideally, would hope for honesty and that he could let me know if he's with someone or getting serious about someone, so I could respectfully bow out and not cause issues there.

 

That is not a friendship, that is a relationship. You're trying to change the dictionary by stating you don't want a relationship but you want everything else that entails it.

 

Be honest with yourself.

 

I think this is a reason why most guys find us women confusing. We never state clearly what we want.

 

You can't backtrack on what you told him--- you agreed to a FWB hookup, which in essence means sex without any type of attachment.

 

Also FWB always sets up the woman to be disrespected. That means the guy no longer views you as anymore than a piece of tail. So to even ask for his friendship is kind of useless.

[xpaperxcutx]

You cannot reason with him into a relationship or set standards you want. Tell him where you're current expectations are and then leave it at that. The remainder of your efforts should be in getting him motivated to see you more often. Guys do not want to talk about status' of relationships. Don't try to reason him into some scenario. If you actually want fwb I don't see why whether he's currently in a relationship or not matters. He can't actually tell you other people he's dating because it will upset you. You are on a need to know basis (and should be) for a reason with his other girl interests.

 

Hope this helps. I assume you can handle the attraction bit you've been doing it your whole life.

 

dispatch3d, i would like to point out in your statement that the OP entereed into the FWB without realizing it's full concept.

[Katrina65]

You cannot reason with him into a relationship or set standards you want. Tell him where you're current expectations are and then leave it at that. The remainder of your efforts should be in getting him motivated to see you more often. Guys do not want to talk about status' of relationships. Don't try to reason him into some scenario. If you actually want fwb I don't see why whether he's currently in a relationship or not matters. He can't actually tell you other people he's dating because it will upset you. You are on a need to know basis (and should be) for a reason with his other girl interests.

 

Hope this helps. I assume you can handle the attraction bit you've been doing it your whole life.

 

Thanks for the feedback, dispatch. I work around a lot of guys, and have a lot of guy friends, and have even been told I have sort of a guy way of handling situations, so the cave analogy does make a lot of sense.

 

As for the FWB, and how it shouldn't matter as to whether he's currently in another relationship or not--that DOES actually matter to me. If he's married, I don't want to be complicating things there. I don't want that sort of bad karma either! And I don't want to split up families. I want to know for my own health--if he's sleeping around all over the place, then it's probably not wise to keep up a sexual relationship. If he's getting serious about a girl, I would want to bow out, too, just to give them the chance they deserve to see if they can make things work. And overall, I just believe in complete, upfront honesty about where things stand. I like to know what's up, because my mind works logically like that, and I am not prone to jealousy.

 

You also mentioned that the remainder of my efforts should be getting him motivated to see me more often. That's where the trouble lies. He's become quite distant, just talking about how his life is a mess, etc etc, but without giving me details. I feel like I'm bothering him when I text with him now. He rarely initiates contact anymore, although he'll respond to me, but it will take him a while (before, he'd always immediately respond, and text me dozens of times a day). Now, I'll send him a text...he'll respond a few hours later. I'll respond to that one. He'll respond a few hours later. OR, if I don't send any texts at all, he may send ONE a day, without much substance to it--like, he'll merely say my name in the text (literally, it's like a fisherman throwing a hook in the water to see if I'm still willing to take the bait). I don't understand what this is all about. I've mentioned a few ideas as to what we could do next, and although he says it would be so fun to hang out, and that he adores me, doesn't seem to have any intention or make any efforts to follow through. I don't know if this is his hint to LEAVE HIM ALONE, and if I should just walk away or what? I'd really LIKE to hang out with him, but am so confused by the mixed signals and don't know whether to put in more or less effort.

[Star Gazer]

None of this crap about how men and women handle things differently is relevant!

 

HE IS MARRIED!!!

[xpaperxcutx]

Thanks for the feedback, dispatch. I work around a lot of guys, and have a lot of guy friends, and have even been told I have sort of a guy way of handling situations, so the cave analogy does make a lot of sense.

 

As for the FWB, and how it shouldn't matter as to whether he's currently in another relationship or not--that DOES actually matter to me. If he's married, I don't want to be complicating things there. I don't want that sort of bad karma either! And I don't want to split up families. I want to know for my own health--if he's sleeping around all over the place, then it's probably not wise to keep up a sexual relationship. If he's getting serious about a girl, I would want to bow out, too, just to give them the chance they deserve to see if they can make things work. And overall, I just believe in complete, upfront honesty about where things stand. I like to know what's up, because my mind works logically like that, and I am not prone to jealousy.

 

You also mentioned that the remainder of my efforts should be getting him motivated to see me more often. That's where the trouble lies. He's become quite distant, just talking about how his life is a mess, etc etc, but without giving me details. I feel like I'm bothering him when I text with him now. He rarely initiates contact anymore, although he'll respond to me, but it will take him a while (before, he'd always immediately respond, and text me dozens of times a day). Now, I'll send him a text...he'll respond a few hours later. I'll respond to that one. He'll respond a few hours later. OR, if I don't send any texts at all, he may send ONE a day, without much substance to it--like, he'll merely say my name in the text (literally, it's like a fisherman throwing a hook in the water to see if I'm still willing to take the bait). I don't understand what this is all about. I've mentioned a few ideas as to what we could do next, and although he says it would be so fun to hang out, and that he adores me, doesn't seem to have any intention or make any efforts to follow through. I don't know if this is his hint to LEAVE HIM ALONE, and if I should just walk away or what? I'd really LIKE to hang out with him, but am so confused by the mixed signals and don't know whether to put in more or less effort.

 

First of all, there is no such thing as considerations in a FWB/ hookup. Everything revolves around the physical, hence why after you have sex, he kicks you out of his place rather than spend another hour cuddling.

 

He doesn't own you any explanations about his private life ( married?) or whether if he's seeing other people. None of these would be logical or fit in a concept where everything remains about the physical.

 

I don't see why you feel the need to get back into his good graces. Like I've said before, if he wants to see you, it will be predominantly about sex.

Hence, the proper thing to do would be to walk away from all this. You can't get a clearer answer from him other than his non- responsive attitude--- he doesn't want anything to do with you.

[Katrina65]

I don't see why you feel the need to get back into his good graces. Like I've said before, if he wants to see you, it will be predominantly about sex.

Hence, the proper thing to do would be to walk away from all this. You can't get a clearer answer from him other than his non- responsive attitude--- he doesn't want anything to do with you.

 

Well, I guess its because, I thought we were friends. Our communication started on a friend level, and he took it to a sexual level over time. But, perhaps he was just pretending to be a friend in hopes of only leading to the physical stuff.

 

It seems the physical stuff complicated things though, and he stopped being flirtatious. I said we could stop having sex, which he then became a bit flirty again. I mentioned if it would be easier we stop being friends, that was ok. He acted upset that I'd even suggest that. But I don't know if that was just him trying to be nice or what.

 

I agree though--the non-responsive attitude does seem clear to me. That he is just not interested. But then, out of the blue, he'll send the random text or such every few days. Haha, no wonder I'm confused. He totally pursues sex, gets it, then acts like sex complicated things. I tell him we don't have to have sex, and he then wants sex. He acts like he doesn't want to be friends, and when I accept that, he gets sad and wants to be friends, but is unwilling to put in any sort of effort a friend would. Way.Too.Confusing for me.

[xpaperxcutx]

I'm currently reading a book on manipulative people and the one thing that describes them is covert agressiveness. They don't portray themselves as manipulative but underneath the exterior they're usually schematic and conniving.

 

What your guy did is just that- he's always turning the tables on you to make you the one asserting to want a friendship and sex with him. Instead of being straight forward he turns the questions on you and makes you question about having friendship and sex with him. So everytime you see him, when you bring up the subject of a friendship he will use reverse psychology on you. When you usually say no, he'll just counter your refusal by pretending to be upset, and then you backtrack on what you want and succumb to what he really wants- sex.

[fwang]

I totally understand your feelings!

 

It's just like, you already put cards on the table, but the guy is still hiding something from you. In your opinion, even things don't work out, maybe he and you can still be friends. You hope you guys could have kinda of conversation to make sure if you are on the same page. Sometimes, you feel that his emotional walls are broken down a little bit. But sometimes, he acts like he doesn't care about you at all.

 

And the truth is, what he wants from you is just sex. And he doesn't wanna get emotionally attached.

 

He might get married. How old is he?

[Katrina65]

Yes, Fwang, THANK YOU. Those are EXACTLY my feelings. And it is frustrating. He's in his late 30s and I'm in my early 30s.

[skydiveaddict]

Hey guys. I'm confused.

 

Anyone have any ideas as to what could be going on here? I'm confused. I hear about guys who completely stop contacting a girl after being with her. But, haven't had much experience with guys who dart...but are still KIND of there...every so often throwing out a tidbit. I have no clue what he wants or what's going on here or what the best course of action to take is.

 

 

 

I have a guess, but it is only that. I think you may have feelings for him, but he only wants you for sex. Like I said only a guess. But my advice to to you would be that FWB's are always poison. Go Find a man who really loves you for who you are. This situation will only cause you grief. Find someone who truly cares about you. That's what is important

[fwang]

Yes, Fwang, THANK YOU. Those are EXACTLY my feelings. And it is frustrating. He's in his late 30s and I'm in my early 30s.

 

I had this kind of experience before. And it's damn frustrating. You can never figure out what's on his mind.

 

I think you are really into him. What you want is more than FWB. You wanna know this person, share your life with him and even develop a potential relationship. But he doesn't think in this way. Now, you can handle the FWB situation perfectly. But you will get more emotional involved day by day. Now, you are reluctant to let him go because of the physical attractions and chemistry.

 

In my situation, the guy is seeing me and another girl at the same time. And he thought that I asked too much from him, so he stopped contacting me.

[Pink Cupcakes]

How many times have you gotten together since the first time you mentioned? If it's just the one time, he hasn't really pursued the FWB situation, either. It could be just a one night stand situation. That's what it is if it hasn't happened since the first time.

[dispatch3d]

Alright, some people obviously have some negativity (unjustly I think) with the friends with benefits situation. I think it's a lot more difficult to manage and at least one of the parties involved (preferably both) should have some experience in setting things up. You need the sex to be sex, not some magical hooking up, connecting of souls, etc. There can't be an emotional side to things. You are definitely getting emotionally involved with his life problems and I think it's probably a bad idea to continue on this route.

 

If you were to do the fwb option, you shouldn't even be in the current frame of mind you are in. You should be looking at this from the pov of we meet up, hook up for the sex, then leave. Like the point of it is to get sex while waiting to date someone you actually like. It's not to provide emotional support to your friends.

 

Guys and girls do different things with their friends. Girls get together and provide emotional support for each other, talk about their relationship problems, etc. Guys don't do this. We may fix each others problems (when only asked), otherwise we don't get involved. This is why you consistently hear guys are "less drama". The truth is, even with the girls I'm friends with I don't get involved emotionally or otherwise in their personal lives. If they have a fight with their boyfriend I'm not the guy for them to come to with advice. If they have a blowout with a friend and try to vent to me, I'm going to fix the problem. (1) Because I'm not the guy who wants to hear about the ****ing problem for 2 hours (2) because that's how guys handle things.

 

A prime example of the differences in how we handle things is shadowplay's thread on the ex owing her $1000. Guys come on there and say sue him or don't sue him. She's actually just looking to vent about how pissed she is. Girls can sympathsize, guys cannot/do not bother. If you meet a guy who is willing to listen to your emotional bull**** he wants to sleep with you. Don't kid yourself. This may be what confuses you in this regard.

 

This is why I keep harping on the differences between guys and girls. You aren't fully realizing what the two parties are looking for in friendships. You keep projecting what girls are looking for onto guys. It isn't the case. You have different hormones and different needs than I have because of those hormones. If you seem like more drama to him he's going to want to avoid you. He has enough already. All he's looking for is sex.

 

A book that outlines all this ****, and has helped me setup friendships with girls is "Guys are from Mars, Girls are from Venus".

 

If he's withdrawing suggesting idea's to meet up is not going to work. You need to put a stop to the "bleeding" ie. get him flirting/etc. again then give him ways to get together with you for no strings attached sex.

 

Part of this is you (probably) rarely have to work to meet up with guys. So you enjoy the challenge because it's a new thing to you. He's probably not contacting you because he "isn't that into you" or some bull**** girl thinking. This is chick-logic that guys aren't on the level of. We either think a girl is hot or not. If she is hot we would (normally) hook up with her unless there are major social problems/health problems with doing so. Just because this is true doesn't mean we want a relationship. Enter friends with benefits.

 

I think you are looking into a world of hurt entering into a fwb situation. My advice if you wanted to set that up, is find a guy who is good at sex (This is the most important thing!), and who you aren't that into personality wise. You want to not really care that much about him as a person. This is key so you don't get attached and to make it much easier to not blur the line. Fwb is a way to have (safer) sex than just hooking up with randoms at a bar who could be diseased etc. It's a way to satisfy your sexual needs without as many of the dangers that are associated with random sex. It isn't something you should be looking for long term relationships with. 2 days/week is the maximum (absolute maximum) you can permit this guy to see you. You have to avoid ways he can get attached.

 

If you want to read up further on this stuff there are some free resources to go through. The book I mentioned earlier is good (not free though). You could also comb over MrSex4You (something like that) post archives. You can google him. Not sure how to spell his name. They are free, offered through fastseduction.com, and are just in raw archived message format. Ie. a lot of reading for not much information. He does post entirely on multiple long term relationships/friends with benefits. Expect to spend literally hours and hours if you want to go through that informatoin (it WILL be time consuming). It will be from the male point of view but you can manage the relationship from some easy deductions/collolaries from him I'm certain.

 

As far as relationship needs go. Girls-> emotional stuff where you need to vent. Guys ->doing fun things/finding activities to do on the weekend/getting into fun social groups to hang out with. FWB (For guys)->sex. I think you are looking for occasional companionship. Some girls do this to guys (all the dating stuff without the sex) and it's completely unfair to guys. You are hurting our other relationships/dating opportunities by entering into these things so please don't do that. I think an MLTR would be perfect for you, but it is very very very rare for guys to be able to maintain/keep these things. Read through those archives I am nowhere near that level to even comment.

[WintersNightTraveler]

This guy is probably married, or if not, he doesn't really like you very much. This isn't even FWB, it's just WB. Everything he does screams out that he disdains you.

 

Sorry to be harsh but you have to realize... For instance, how he didn't even bother to answer when you did the whole hinty hint "why are you still single" thing. This guy was definitely thinking, "ugh, when's the sex?"

 

You're reading way more into this than it is, which is a sporadic clandestine hookup without real affection.

[Pink Cupcakes]

They've only hooked up once though. It's not even an FWB...it was a once-night stand.