Mad Max Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I can't speak for everyone, but I'm a firm believer in STD testing before having sex with anyone. These days, in my opinion, it is irresponsible not getting tested, knowing how common STDs are. I have refused to hook up with girls because of this. Does anyone else do the same? I feel like I'm the only one.
bac Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Some people just use condoms at the begining of a relationship.
Jilly Bean Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I don't require proof of testing, but I'm also not jumping into bed with strangers these days, so by the time I do, I already know enough about the guy to trust his health status and testing history. And I have a personal rule that I get fully tested every time I end a relationship, so I know I'm clean for the next one. I'm shocked when I hear about people having unprotected and risky sex with strangers. It's like they have forgotten AIDS, herpes, chlamydia, syphilis, HPV is rampant, and someone think because someone "looks" clean and healthy, that they are.
Author Mad Max Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 Some people just use condoms at the begining of a relationship. Condoms aren't 100% and when it comes to HPV and herpes, condoms mean sh*t.
Ella whispers Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I have always asked that my partner(2 since my last long relationship) be tested before we have sex even with a condom. I'm paranoid about them too but these days you can't b too safe. Both the men I have asked had no problem doing it if ever I ask someone and they say no I won't continue to see them much less have sex.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I can't speak for everyone, but I'm a firm believer in STD testing before having sex with anyone. These days, in my opinion, it is irresponsible not getting tested, knowing how common STDs are. I have refused to hook up with girls because of this. Does anyone else do the same? I feel like I'm the only one. I'm always happy to hear it when people are behaving this way. It's the responsible thing to do.
Author Mad Max Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 I'm always happy to hear it when people are behaving this way. It's the responsible thing to do. I've gotten heat for it, mainly from guys. Can't be too safe these days.
sugarmomma Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Max you are def being smart. I feel the same way. But even with herpes you can get tested but without an active sore the test doesn't really conclude anything. I am totally paranoid and haven't gotten close to anyone in a while because of it.
Author Mad Max Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 Max you are def being smart. I feel the same way. But even with herpes you can get tested but without an active sore the test doesn't really conclude anything. I am totally paranoid and haven't gotten close to anyone in a while because of it. Even then, it would show on a blood test.
bac Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Condoms aren't 100% and when it comes to HPV and herpes, condoms mean sh*t. What do you mean? Do you mean that if you do oral on her you can get the viruses?
Author Mad Max Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 What do you mean? Do you mean that if you do oral on her you can get the viruses? Ummm...yes. If she has genital herpes and you give her oral, you'll get oral herpes.
bac Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) Ummm...yes. If she has genital herpes and you give her oral, you'll get oral herpes. So, do not give her oral and let her do oral only on you. Many women, especially younger ones, would happily agree on that. If you do not want any oral for yourself, it might be even better for a girl at the beginig. Edited August 17, 2010 by bac
sugarmomma Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Even then, it would show on a blood test. My cousin showed a positive blood test but has never had any kind of herpes outbreak on her mouth or va-jj. She was devastated.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I've gotten heat for it, mainly from guys. Can't be too safe these days. I'm glad you don't listen to those guys. You won't have to suffer the kinds of consequences they might. You seem like a decent and intelligent man from what I've seen you say on here so far.
WalkInThePark Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I do the same. There is a center in my city where people can get tested for the whole list of STDs. If I have a new relationship and there is a good chance we might have sex, I ask my partner to be tested there (I get tested as well of course). If they refuse, that's the end of the relationship.
Eeyore79 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 This is my approach too: I want STD tests and a promise of exclusivity before we have sex, and I have to know the person well enough to trust that they're being honest regarding the exclusivity part. I don't understand why some people are willing to take risks with all the diseases floating around nowadays.
Pleco Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Condoms aren't 100% and when it comes to HPV and herpes, condoms mean sh*t. The problem here is that HPV cannot be tested for in men unless they have type that causes genital warts AND they are showing signs. You also can't test for genital herpes type 1, unless the person is having an outbreak at the time of testing. So even WITH testing, your potential partner could very well have both of these diseases. Also, many STD tests don't test for diseases until you've had them for 3 or more months, so you'll test negative for a disease during a time that you are potentially the most contagious. I'm definitely not arguing against STD tests, I'm just saying that even a test won't always save you. Oh yeah...and "complete STD panels" that people seem to always be getting, they don't even test for herpes at all because it is so common and doctors don't seem to like people knowing they have it. Just FYI.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 The problem here is that HPV cannot be tested for in men unless they have type that causes genital warts AND they are showing signs. You also can't test for genital herpes type 1, unless the person is having an outbreak at the time of testing. So even WITH testing, your potential partner could very well have both of these diseases. Also, many STD tests don't test for diseases until you've had them for 3 or more months, so you'll test negative for a disease during a time that you are potentially the most contagious. I'm definitely not arguing against STD tests, I'm just saying that even a test won't always save you. Oh yeah...and "complete STD panels" that people seem to always be getting, they don't even test for herpes at all because it is so common and doctors don't seem to like people knowing they have it. Just FYI. A good post, except one factual error - both HSV 1 and 2 can be tested for via blood in both men and women. However, the points about timeframe and true negatives are very valid, as well as HPV testing being problematic for men. Yes, many medical practitioners don't even really consider HSV in normal screenings. The reasoning is that it's so common that the cost effectiveness of having a test is not worth it. They do tend to consider these things from the point of view of the population of a whole, and there is some validity to this notion from that point of view. One doctor advised me to simply assume all of my potential partners had hsv when making sexual decisions. A bit unusual but I thought it was insightful advice. Nevertheless, I insisted on hsv screening during that physical.
Pleco Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 A good post, except one factual error - both HSV 1 and 2 can be tested for via blood in both men and women. You're right, but that's not what I said. It is impossible to test for genital HSV1 without having an active outbreak to culture. Something like 80% of people eventually get oral HSV1 (and it approaches 100% in some countries.) The blood test doesn't tell the location of the infection, so many people who test positive for HSV1 have it orally, and many have it genitally but don't know it. So the number of people who have genital herpes is probably much higher than the often quoted 25%, simply because genital type 1 is nearly impossible to test for. Agreed on the rest, though.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 You're right, but that's not what I said. It is impossible to test for genital HSV1 without having an active outbreak to culture. Something like 80% of people eventually get oral HSV1 (and it approaches 100% in some countries.) The blood test doesn't tell the location of the infection, so many people who test positive for HSV1 have it orally, and many have it genitally but don't know it. So the number of people who have genital herpes is probably much higher than the often quoted 25%, simply because genital type 1 is nearly impossible to test for. Agreed on the rest, though. Is there even an appreciable difference (from the point of view of the potential recipient) between HSV-1 located on the mouth or gentials? Especially considering most people who have genital sex also have oral sex? I'm not disagreeing, just curious if I have my facts straight. I thought if you have it genitally or orally, it will come up in the blood case (but you may not know with certainty where you have it). Barring of course the true negatives and false positives. But if you're just saying there are a lot of people who have HSV-1 latent in their pants, and don't even know it, then I agree.
Gattica Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) I can't speak for everyone, but I'm a firm believer in STD testing before having sex with anyone. These days, in my opinion, it is irresponsible not getting tested, knowing how common STDs are. I have refused to hook up with girls because of this. Does anyone else do the same? I feel like I'm the only one. I do the same. The last man I dated was in his 40's and had never been tested and it blew my mind. I let him know that in order for things to progress sexually, he would need to get tested. Well, that was too much to ask and when I wouldn't have sex with him w/o condoms or testing....he bounced. No STD testing is a deal breaker for me. I also get a lot of flack from men about this. I will hear excuses like...I am not a player, I don't meet women at bars, the women I have slept with look clean, I would know if I had an STD. LOL Edited August 17, 2010 by Gattica
InceptorsRule Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I've gotten heat for it, mainly from guys. Can't be too safe these days. So don't have sex with those guys.
carhill Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Does anyone else do the same? I feel like I'm the only one. Been married awhile, but, yeah, prior, I got the then applicable STD panels using the technology of the era, which was likely inferior to what is available now. This was back in the early 90's. I got tested between relationships after six months of abstinence. I didn't have unprotected sex (meaning a condom was always used) until my wife and I were engaged to be married. I never have talked nor do talk about my private sex life with men. I do talk about it with the woman I'm having sex with. It's simpler that way
TaurusTerp Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 So, do not give her oral and let her do oral only on you. Many women, especially younger ones, would happily agree on that. If you do not want any oral for yourself, it might be even better for a girl at the beginig. :lmao::lmao::lmao: Hey a legit excuse to get head without returning the favor
Author Mad Max Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 So don't have sex with those guys. I'm not gay. I don't have sex with guys.
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