Raderick Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Not the camgirls or the spam profiles, the profiles that seemed like they are 100% legitimate, had what seemed like legit pictures, and when you talk to them they appear to be 100% legit, but later you find out that it was a hoax, say for example, a male creating a female profile or someone trying to scam you. I ask because I chatted with a girl through OKC the past few days. It appears from the getgo that we have a ton in common but she just recently went out of town, and specifically asked me to not contact her for a few weeks (seemed weird) without a real reason why but she promised we'd go out when she comes back. I have a phone number and we talked there a couple of times via texting but haven't talked on the phone yet (I called once and it went directly to one of those automated voice mail greetings). I have IM conversations, if someone wants to PM me for more details.
Author Raderick Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 I should also mention that I also have a Facebook profile of this person but it appears that she closed her wall for posts and stati, only uses it for games; and only has maybe 2 pictures of herself on it.
meerkat stew Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Sounds like a legit profile to me, its unclear in your post what exactly leads you to believe it's bogus.
Author Raderick Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Sounds like a legit profile to me, its unclear in your post what exactly leads you to believe it's bogus. I guess it's more in the conversations we had that makes me question the profile. Not saying I'm 100% correct, but just things this person has said has led me to questioning it all.
a_woman Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You should question every profile until you meet the person
BobSacamento Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I've never had something like that happen. Personally I don't talk with them as long as it appears you have. My first goal is to talk with them long enough to the point where I know they are comfortable meeting. Once you have the meeting then all your questions will be answered.
meerkat stew Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You should question every profile until you meet the person Yeah, OP, the cardinal rule is to meet in person ASAP, gets rid of lots of these types of issues or worries.
brainygirl Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I've seen where there were two profiles using the same pictures, like the guy had made two profiles for some reason, and both showed recent activity. I didn't bother to ask him about it, it seemed fishy.
zengirl Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Not the camgirls or the spam profiles, the profiles that seemed like they are 100% legitimate, had what seemed like legit pictures, and when you talk to them they appear to be 100% legit, but later you find out that it was a hoax, say for example, a male creating a female profile or someone trying to scam you. I ask because I chatted with a girl through OKC the past few days. It appears from the getgo that we have a ton in common but she just recently went out of town, and specifically asked me to not contact her for a few weeks (seemed weird) without a real reason why but she promised we'd go out when she comes back. I have a phone number and we talked there a couple of times via texting but haven't talked on the phone yet (I called once and it went directly to one of those automated voice mail greetings). I have IM conversations, if someone wants to PM me for more details. I doubt it's a fake profile (as in put up purely fabricated by the site, etc), but she might have a fellow. Or she might be busy. Or she might be not all that into you. I wouldn't wait around. Just see what happens when the few weeks are up.
kalikula Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I doubt it was fake.... Maybe she's just not that into you. Personally, I used to go on my OK Cupid site when I was between guys. I would talk to a few (chat briefly), but none would really hold my interest, so I wouldn't respond to their message again, then I'd find someone in real life and hang out with them for awhile, de-activate my profile, then come back if it wasn't going anywhere after all. I'm sure some guys thought I was fake or just flaky lol.
Author Raderick Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Finally talked to her today, she is 100% legit and we went ahead and set a date for when she comes back! It just seems like she's really into me already. So this thread is moot to some extent, but I'm really curious to know if anyone has ran into a similar situation that I mentioned in my OP.
Sabali Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) Moot thread my @$$! Man, I am glad someone is talking about this so I can get this crap off of my chest. I started trying OKC a few days ago after reading so much about it after I joined this site. I never tried a dating site before because I just didn’t think it was my sort of thing. My curiosity got the best of me after reading about it here so I decided to try it. Well, at first I didn’t want to post any closeup pics of myself because I didn’t want someone to see me and say “hey, Saba, what are you doing on here?” I am also dating a woman and although we are just dating and not in relationship, I just thought it would be awkward if she found out I was online since we work together. So I wrote a short but snappy profile mostly just obviously joking around but I did write some more legit stuff which was obvious as well. I specifically stated that I was just looking to network and make friends. I then posted a pic of me which just shows the back of me in a distance on a breathtaking landscape. You can’t recognize me at all in the photo. It could be anyone. I heard enough around here that women don’t really do much with responding to you and they just message you a couple of times and that’s it so I wasn’t expecting much. I thought it would be entertaining to at least just mess around with messages. Well, to my surprise some women were responding to the faceless profile. Somehow, I thought that I was supposed to be able to rate them first or something before they could leave me a message but I was getting messages directly into my inbox and some of them contained phone numbers. I did rate some of the people on the match thing but I mostly found it a bother so I didn’t bother. All of that was cool but this one female who I have been messaging back and forth a bit eventually asked me why I didn’t post a picture of my face. I told her straight up as clearly stated in my profile that I really wasn’t looking to date anyone on the site and I was just trying it out and maybe make new friends. She didn’t make a big deal about but she gave me her number still. The convo was cool but I couldn’t help but wonder why someone as fine as her who seem to have a nice personality was on a dating site. I mean, if she actually looked that fine in person I can imagine that she is being approached a whole lot in everyday life. So my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to post a few close up pics of myself since the women who responded to my profile had their pics posted. I thought that I could just take them down by the end of the night. I just wanted to see what would happened. I don’t know what to think now. I just didn’t imagine the response I would get. It feels sort of strange. First, there are somehow women sending me messages without me rating them first and I still don't get that. I am still wondering why some of these women are even on this site. I can’t help but to wonder if they are actually men using women pics or if they are sex workers. I know at least a few are probably not men because they gave me their phone numbers. I don’t know, maybe they are pros at this. I haven’t called yet. So 3 of them have asked me about meeting up already and I am really sort of… I just don’t know how to describe it. It just feels strange to me and I don’t know if it is because I am just new to this or if I feel like they have some power over me since they seem to be experienced with this whole online thing. Don’t get me wrong, I am not knocking online dating or anything it’s just not what I am used to so I just kind of thinking it over for a minute. Edited August 10, 2010 by Sabali
Author Raderick Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Moot thread my @$$! Man, I am glad someone is talking about this so I can get this crap off of my chest. I started trying OKC a few days ago after reading so much about it after I joined this site. I never tried a dating site before because I just didn’t think it was my sort of thing. My curiosity got the best of me after reading about it here so I decided to try it. Well, at first I didn’t want to post any closeup pics of myself because I didn’t want someone to see me and say “hey, Saba, what are you doing on here?” I am also dating a woman and although we are just dating and not in relationship, I just thought it would be awkward if she found out I was online since we work together. So I wrote a short but snappy profile mostly just obviously joking around but I did write some more legit stuff which was obvious as well. I specifically stated that I was just looking to network and make friends. I then posted a pic of me which just shows the back of me in a distance on a breathtaking landscape. You can’t recognize me at all in the photo. It could be anyone. I heard enough around here that women don’t really do much with responding to you and they just message you a couple of times and that’s it so I wasn’t expecting much. I thought it would be entertaining to at least just mess around with messages. Well, to my surprise some women were responding to the faceless profile. Somehow, I thought that I was supposed to be able to rate them first or something before they could leave me a message but I was getting messages directly into my inbox and some of them contained phone numbers. I did rate some of the people on the match thing but I mostly found it a bother so I didn’t bother. All of that was cool but this one female who I have been messaging back and forth a bit eventually asked me why I didn’t post a picture of my face. I told her straight up as clearly stated in my profile that I really wasn’t looking to date anyone on the site and I was just trying it out and maybe make new friends. She didn’t make a big deal about but she gave me her number still. The convo was cool but I couldn’t help but wonder why someone as fine as her who seem to have a nice personality was on a dating site. I mean, if she actually looked that fine in person I can imagine that she is being approached a whole lot in everyday life. So my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to post a few close up pics of myself since the women who responded to my profile had their pics posted. I thought that I could just take them down by the end of the night. I just wanted to see what would happened. I don’t know what to think now. I just didn’t imagine the response I would get. It feels sort of strange. First, there are somehow women sending me messages without me rating them first and I still don't get that. I am still wondering why some of these women are even on this site. I can’t help but to wonder if they are actually men using women pics or if they are sex workers. I know at least a few are probably not men because they gave me their phone numbers. I don’t know, maybe they are pros at this. I haven’t called yet. So 3 of them have asked me about meeting up already and I am really sort of… I just don’t know how to describe it. It just feels strange to me and I don’t know if it is because I am just new to this or if I feel like they have some power over me since they seem to be experienced with this whole online thing. Don’t get me wrong, I am not knocking online dating or anything it’s just not what I am used to so I just kind of thinking it over for a minute. Well first and foremost, the fake profiles of the camgirls or sex workers will jump out to you rather fast. Usually it's the woman with massive cleavage and professionally-done pictures. Or it's the profile with really small, almost thumbnail-like photos, or the photos that were blown and pixelized to the point where you can't even recognize the person. Then you might have in the profile asking people to talk to them on MSN or Yahoo (dead giveaway) or the intentional link to another site. With that said, there will be people that will contact you (regardless of gender) that will want to take you out on a date, regardless of relationship status or what you're looking for (listed in your profile) because either they didn't see that part of your profile, or he's just a girlfriend stealer. I made the mistake twice, one ended up becoming my girlfriend (later ex-girlfriend) several months later and one is now my best friend.
meerkat stew Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Sabali, First, there are folks on the dating sites that specifically look for new members. Some of these just want to get a first shot at the new meat, some have bad intent. So do keep your eyes open. Second, when you first join a site, and sometimes this is contingent on posting pics rather than merely joining, the site may "jump start" you in ways you may not realize. It may load your profile into lots of "daily match" or "new faces" mails sent to other members, may feature you on some page, put a frame around your profile you don't see or whatever depending on the various services the site provides to members. I don't know exactly how OKC works, but it's worth looking into and could be a partial explanation. Third, you may be just a good looking guy with mass appeal. If so, online dating may work out great for you.
Sabali Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 (edited) Sabali, First, there are folks on the dating sites that specifically look for new members. Some of these just want to get a first shot at the new meat, some have bad intent. So do keep your eyes open. Second, when you first join a site, and sometimes this is contingent on posting pics rather than merely joining, the site may "jump start" you in ways you may not realize. It may load your profile into lots of "daily match" or "new faces" mails sent to other members, may feature you on some page, put a frame around your profile you don't see or whatever depending on the various services the site provides to members. I don't know exactly how OKC works, but it's worth looking into and could be a partial explanation. Third, you may be just a good looking guy with mass appeal. If so, online dating may work out great for you. Thanks for the reply guys. Well, none of the photos are professional and some of these women seem to be actual soccer moms because they have their children in the photos but it is the nicer ones that have me scratching my head. Now, I have dated a decent looking woman or two before but if there is one thing I know about nice looking women is that they do not blow smoke up your @$$. They are relatively reserved with compliments. This is what really had me suspicious. I mean, some of the responses are relatively aggressive and you just don't see this type of behavior in every day life. I was thinking that if they was really this aggressive, I am sure they would have a lot of boyfriends probably. Also, they were responding to a faceless profile. I thought the big thing was no face, no play. Don't get me wrong now. I am not saying at all that I don't like aggressive women. I do. I was just thinking it didn't fit the context. On the other hand, I am just not used to calling women I haven't actually met in person so I think this gives me a strange feeling too. It may just be new to me and I am just naive on how this works and it just set off alarms. That's all. Edited August 10, 2010 by Sabali
Sabali Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 I did it. I took the plunge and set up a couple of "outtings." They were actually pleasant conversations. I am getting the idea that maybe women on this site are generally more proactive. One woman just simply invited me to go rollerskating with her. She said "I am going this Friday. You should come!" I giggled like a schoolgirl and said " hehehehe, if you insist." Well, that schoolgirl part is not true but it appears that I will be going rollerskating in a few days. I will be meeting the other one on Thursday for drinks. We''ll see...
Author Raderick Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Getting back slightly on topic, her flight with the family got canceled and moved to Wednesday, and so I was curious, is it a good idea to ask her if she wants to come over and watch a movie? I know to some that coming over the movies is codeword for we're going to have sex, but seeing it's the first time and I want to see her at least once before she goes off for a couple weeks, nothing's gonna happen.
Sabali Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 (edited) Getting back slightly on topic, her flight with the family got canceled and moved to Wednesday, and so I was curious, is it a good idea to ask her if she wants to come over and watch a movie? I know to some that coming over the movies is codeword for we're going to have sex, but seeing it's the first time and I want to see her at least once before she goes off for a couple weeks, nothing's gonna happen. Sorry, man, I didn't mean to hijack you. I just needed some input since I was getting uptight. Here is my input: If I understand it correctly, this would be your first timemeeting her. I definitely wouldn't ask her to come over to watch movies. I would meet her out somewhere. Sitting on a couch and watching movies just doesn't sound very exciting for a first meeting and this is coming from a guy who likes to spend his Sunday morning on the couch watching movies. Edited August 10, 2010 by Sabali
zengirl Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Raderick, if you haven't met this girl, I think it's weird to spend the first evening watching a movie for about 1000 reasons unrelated to the code-word for sex thing. For one, I'm not going over to a fellow's house if I've never met him. I think this is true of most girls who weren't born yesterday. For another, movies are terrible first dates all around. Finally, it just sounds like the kind of lazy date you make way later when you're seeing loads of each other and it becomes time/cost prohibitive on both parties to go out loads. I'd never ask a guy to come over and watch a movie before we were coupled (maybe in my early college years)----that sounds like a one-way ticket to boring loser couple town. Ask her to do something, anything, out of the house. Make a picnic or something if it's a money issue, but take the girl somewhere.
Sabali Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Raderick, if you haven't met this girl, I think it's weird to spend the first evening watching a movie for about 1000 reasons unrelated to the code-word for sex thing. For one, I'm not going over to a fellow's house if I've never met him. I think this is true of most girls who weren't born yesterday. For another, movies are terrible first dates all around. Finally, it just sounds like the kind of lazy date you make way later when you're seeing loads of each other and it becomes time/cost prohibitive on both parties to go out loads. I'd never ask a guy to come over and watch a movie before we were coupled (maybe in my early college years)----that sounds like a one-way ticket to boring loser couple town. Ask her to do something, anything, out of the house. Make a picnic or something if it's a money issue, but take the girl somewhere. I am Sabali and I approve of this message. I completely agree with Zen. Also, I don't care what your intentions are but movies on the couch always jump out in my mind as huge impending makeout session. You may not intend for this to occur but it still leaves an impression early on.
Author Raderick Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Raderick, if you haven't met this girl, I think it's weird to spend the first evening watching a movie for about 1000 reasons unrelated to the code-word for sex thing. For one, I'm not going over to a fellow's house if I've never met him. I think this is true of most girls who weren't born yesterday. For another, movies are terrible first dates all around. Finally, it just sounds like the kind of lazy date you make way later when you're seeing loads of each other and it becomes time/cost prohibitive on both parties to go out loads. I'd never ask a guy to come over and watch a movie before we were coupled (maybe in my early college years)----that sounds like a one-way ticket to boring loser couple town. Ask her to do something, anything, out of the house. Make a picnic or something if it's a money issue, but take the girl somewhere. We ended up planning for yogurt on the beach. Something simple, before she talks off. I'm excited.
torranceshipman Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Hey, maybe you are just getting all this attention because you are hot When I online dated, loads of guys asked why I was on there as they were surprised to see someone hot on there. LOL. Bet they said that to everyone, but to be fair I do always get a lot of attention from guys...I have friends who technically would be referred to as 'plain' and friends who model, and they've all used online dating...no matter how hot a girl is, she still wants to meet someone that she clicks with, and finds that as hard as anyone else...so I'd keep an open mind!
Author Raderick Posted August 10, 2010 Author Posted August 10, 2010 Hey, maybe you are just getting all this attention because you are hot It's weird, as of late I've been getting a ton of attention, both online and offline. I can't really pinpoint to any certain thing, but my approach towards women has changed because of the attention that's been coming my way. Either way, my focus is on this one for the time being. Everyone else I've talked to don't really have as much as common as I do with the one I'm meeting today.
Author Raderick Posted August 11, 2010 Author Posted August 11, 2010 So we met, and we really did hit it off (yay). It sure seems like she has already fallen head over heels for me, which is good (I guess). She takes off for the northwest tomorrow, we already have plans for the day after she comes back. My biggest concern is that she's quite the daddy's little girl. It's going to be really hard to pry her away from him I imagine.
Sabali Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 So we met, and we really did hit it off (yay). It sure seems like she has already fallen head over heels for me, which is good (I guess). She takes off for the northwest tomorrow, we already have plans for the day after she comes back. My biggest concern is that she's quite the daddy's little girl. It's going to be really hard to pry her away from him I imagine. Now slow down, son. You are getting ahead of yourself. This is how she-isn't-calling-me-back-and-it's-driving-me-insane threads get made. We get all giddy over that first date and the next thing we do is imagine her pregnant with all thirty of our kids. Lets just slow down. You can never go wrong with slow motion. I still got stuff cooking from 1994. You are already thinking about the future with prying her away from daddy. I wouldn't think past tomorrow for a while. I am glad your first meeting with well, I like South Park, your avatar and wine but I just don't want you to set yourself up. Lets take it one night at a time.
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