brainygirl Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I'd be a little worried. When I was married, I made the mistake of letting my then husband take pictures of just me, and I'd catch him jerking off to them rather than hanging out with me and having a romantic time. If it was pictures of just him, I'd ask him about them and maybe tease him a little, if it was him and other women, I'd be pissed. I now have a NO rule when it comes to pictures or videos, too easy for crap like that to end up online after a fight and I have no desire to be someone's own personal porn material.
meerkat stew Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Honestly? Computer np, as long as she had it private and wasn't broadcasting it on the net. Cell phone is entirely different. Carrying stuff like that around on a cellphone as an adult shows extremely poor professional, social and legal judgment. male or female, single married whatever, don't do it. So I wouldn't be dating someone who did that kind of irresponsible thing in the first place... provided I knew about it.
jamesum Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Yeah, this guy is an idiot for sucking at hiding something. What she doesnt know wont hurt her.
nddb Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I think many people keep them around because it's part of their past. Or so they rationalize. I personally live by the rule of "once it's over..." I've never kept mementos and letters and pictures. It hurts innocent bystanders (the person who signs up to be your current/future SO). Obviously, it's the case here. Five arguments, and now the OP is devastated. For what? Plus if the images and letters are only in my head, I can imagine it to be whatever if I want it to. If the relationship was that good, it wouldn't have broken up so looking at it through a rose-colored memory screen is more pleasurable. Now obviously, if I keep thinking back to the "old days", that's a good sign that I haven't resolved things. Personally, I think it's kinda pathetic--I don't do that crap when in a new relationship because it's unfair-- but then again, I live by my rules. If we happen to be single and run into each other, I intend to make new memories. Why keep the old memories and screw up my current situation?
CaliGuy Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 A) He's keeping as a trophy for himself. B) Men are not really "hot" naked. Women are superior naked than men so nobody really wants to see his pics. C) He has no reason to keep these photos, so it's up to you. D) The fact that he has her cell, msn, etc means he's keeping in touch. If I were you I'd walk away. But that's simply YOUR choice. If I was dating a girl that had those kinds of photos around she's be out on the curb faster than you can shake a stick. And she'd be lucky that I would not toss her out "head first". If you don't love and respect yourself you can not expect others to love and respect you either. Cheers
mr.dream merchant Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 A) He's keeping as a trophy for himself. B) Men are not really "hot" naked. Women are superior naked than men so nobody really wants to see his pics. C) He has no reason to keep these photos, so it's up to you. D) The fact that he has her cell, msn, etc means he's keeping in touch. If I were you I'd walk away. But that's simply YOUR choice. If I was dating a girl that had those kinds of photos around she's be out on the curb faster than you can shake a stick. And she'd be lucky that I would not toss her out "head first". If you don't love and respect yourself you can not expect others to love and respect you either. Cheers This guy is the MAN!
Sophia8 Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 If I was dating a girl that had those kinds of photos around she's be out on the curb faster than you can shake a stick. And she'd be lucky that I would not toss her out "head first". Very nicely put, if a guy I was dating had videos/photos like this then I would do the exact same. If a guy I was dating had photographs of himself and an ex(s), not of the "xxx" variety then that's fine as I understand that people like to keep things like that. As long as he's not constantly looking at these photographs!
You Go Girl Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 A) He's keeping as a trophy for himself. B) Men are not really "hot" naked. Women are superior naked than men so nobody really wants to see his pics. C) He has no reason to keep these photos, so it's up to you. D) The fact that he has her cell, msn, etc means he's keeping in touch. If I were you I'd walk away. But that's simply YOUR choice. If I was dating a girl that had those kinds of photos around she's be out on the curb faster than you can shake a stick. And she'd be lucky that I would not toss her out "head first". If you don't love and respect yourself you can not expect others to love and respect you either. Cheers Caliguy is the most sane guy answering this thread. Keeping old pics of ex's naked is a no-no. Keeping them hidden is an even bigger no-no. Hide something once, you'll hide other things. I want no part of a man that thinks like that. To the curb indeed.
alyssatranswarrior Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 (edited) I have like thousands of pictures of my ex, nude or otherwise, since she is a model comes with the territory. I will never delete them, a few hundred she made special for me and are private and are on external drives I keep many things from my past on. They are not attached to my computer and when they are you'd have to be snooping plain and simple, to find them. I am not going to "delete" my past because my present SO is hurt that I have one. Doesn't at all mean I long for my past. Just means like a photo album you keep in the attic, the past will always remain and since you don't know what the future will bring - deleting physical remnants of your past is just childish actions to give a superficial feeling to an insecure individual that really may not always be in your life and if they cause fights over the past sure as hell shouldn't be in my view. Edited August 11, 2010 by alyssatranswarrior
ConfusedAsUsual Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 There was this incident before that I used my ex BF's computer and well I saw something I shouldn't see. I saw pictures of him and his ex fu&*!^% It was not just one pic but a whole lot along with different positions. I was just wondering if this would ever happen to you guys, what would you do? Would you immediately break off the relationship or stay with him. How will you handle seeing those pics? Well he was obviously saving the pics. That would be enough for me. Buh bye to him
JohnP82 Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 I think if I was dating a girl and stumbled upon pics like it would put me off and make me think that she hasn't let go of the past. A pretty solid red flag.
Art_Critic Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 Doesn't at all mean I long for my past. Just means like a photo album you keep in the attic, Except those thousands of pictures you keep are not in the attic.. they are on your computer at your finger tips.. Why not burn them to a dvd and put them in the attic if that is the case ? Also.. try telling the girl you are having a relationship with one day that you don't look at them and they are only part of your past.. Yeah.. part of your past that you won't let go... I have a past.. previous marriage, GF's etc.. I would never throw out any good memory pictures.. Those are all in boxes in the attic.. never to be looked at again till I die and my kid goes thru them. No nude pictures were kept as I respect my child and wife too much to ever allow them to have to feel weird for seeing such a personal moment with an ex.. I also have deleted all emails from previous relationships as nobody needs to read that personal info either and feel weird about it one day. In the OP's case the guy was disrespecting her and keeping things that should have been deleted. It's more about respect to your partner and their feelings than anything else.. Why is that so hard to get ?
a_woman Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 yes I think this is about respect. not only towards the current partner but the ex as well. I keep bits and bobs that remind me of someone but anything really personal I get rid of. I don't think my ex would like it if I carried a photo of his penis around on my mobile.
Art_Critic Posted August 11, 2010 Posted August 11, 2010 (edited) I don't think my ex would like it if I carried a photo of his penis around on my mobile. Well.. if would depend on how big his penis is You are so right.. personal pictures like that most likely got taken with the verbal caveat that "if we ever break up will you promise to delete them" or just an understanding that they get deleted and not kept, just to be respectful of the person you were with.. These pictures that we are all discussing are not lake pictures taken one day while water skiing or kids pictures taken while playing in the yard.. these are personal moments only meant for the 2 (or more ) who are in them. Edited August 11, 2010 by Art_Critic
CaliGuy Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Caliguy is the most sane guy answering this thread. Keeping old pics of ex's naked is a no-no. Keeping them hidden is an even bigger no-no. Hide something once, you'll hide other things. I want no part of a man that thinks like that. To the curb indeed. I once dated a girl who loved to take nude cell phone pics of herself and send them to jacka$$e$ she was trying to woo. It wasn't enough that she had me, she wanted MORE. Insatiable is a good word to describe her. If people are keeping nude pictures of themselves or whomever they used to date, this is simply a matter of them wanting a trophy to validate themselves. Men certainly would keep these sort of things around to boast how "great" they are. Small minded people, small minded ideas, in the very small minded world they live in.
Engadget Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 Well.. if would depend on how big his penis is You are so right.. personal pictures like that most likely got taken with the verbal caveat that "if we ever break up will you promise to delete them" or just an understanding that they get deleted and not kept, just to be respectful of the person you were with.. These pictures that we are all discussing are not lake pictures taken one day while water skiing or kids pictures taken while playing in the yard.. these are personal moments only meant for the 2 (or more ) who are in them. I know my ex still has pictures of my member she carries around, and I'm quite happy about that. As long as the picture doesn't have my face in it, in case she ever got mad and tried to embarrass me. Even then I might not be upset, but I make sure pictures like that don't have my face.
a_woman Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I know my ex still has pictures of my member she carries around, and I'm quite happy about that. As long as the picture doesn't have my face in it, in case she ever got mad and tried to embarrass me. Even then I might not be upset, but I make sure pictures like that don't have my face. hahaha very wise. same here. I deleted a photo of his penis though... I'm a little sorry now but probably for the best.
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