MsSydneyLane Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 There was this incident before that I used my ex BF's computer and well I saw something I shouldn't see. I saw pictures of him and his ex fu&*!^% It was not just one pic but a whole lot along with different positions. I was just wondering if this would ever happen to you guys, what would you do? Would you immediately break off the relationship or stay with him. How will you handle seeing those pics?
spookie Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I wouldn't immediately break it off, but that's be tough to deal with. Whether or not I could handle it would depend on: -how long ago they broke up -if they're still in touch -why he still has those pics on his computer
Citizen Erased Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I have no faith whatsoever in anyone being able to justify keeping something like that. Competing with an ex for someone's feelings is not in my "things I want to do before I die".
Author MsSydneyLane Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 I wouldn't immediately break it off, but that's be tough to deal with. Whether or not I could handle it would depend on: -how long ago they broke up -if they're still in touch -why he still has those pics on his computer They broke up a year ago. He says they dont have any communication whatsover but I know that he has her mobile#, address, MSN user ID. We fought 5 times with this issue over keeping pictures of her on his celphone and computer. The xxx pictures was the last bomb I had to discover. I felt like vomiting. It was really tough for me at that time. I cant describe how I feel, I was madly in love with him, but it really hit me so hard seeing those pics.
TaurusTerp Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Guess what....no guy that took those pictures or made the videos is going to delete them. Your boyfriend just sucks at hiding them. Mine are deleted off the computer, but are stored on a thumb drive along with other personal items. I dont have feelings for any of the girls I made the videos with - it's just interesting to go back and watch them once in awhile, that's all. I never understood getting rid of all pictures of the ex - he/she is part of your past, you learned from that experience, why try to forget it?
Author MsSydneyLane Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Guess what....no guy that took those pictures or made the videos is going to delete them. Your boyfriend just sucks at hiding them. Mine are deleted off the computer, but are stored on a thumb drive along with other personal items. I dont have feelings for any of the girls I made the videos with - it's just interesting to go back and watch them once in awhile, that's all. I never understood getting rid of all pictures of the ex - he/she is part of your past, you learned from that experience, why try to forget it? Ok, the truth sucks! However, what if you're thinking of getting married... Will you ever keep those things... and keep them from your wife?
Citizen Erased Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) Ok, the truth sucks! However, what if you're thinking of getting married... Will you ever keep those things... and keep them from your wife? Getting married has nothing to do with it. If they want to hide something from you, they will. I don't know about you but I won't settle for someone like that. Good on you for leaving your ex. If they have to hide something, they know what they're doing is wrong. It's pretty insulting for them to continue to do it anyway. Edited August 9, 2010 by Citizen Erased
TaurusTerp Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Ok, the truth sucks! However, what if you're thinking of getting married... Will you ever keep those things... and keep them from your wife? I don't know. I want to say yes, but there's probably going to be that part of me that will keep it and remember what I was like 20 pounds lighter with a full head of hair, and capable of going for hours. Getting married has nothing to do with it. If they want to hide something from you, they will. I don't know about you but I won't settle for someone like that. Good on you for leaving your ex. If they have to hide something, they know what they're doing is wrong. It's pretty insulting for them to continue to do it anyway. No, people hide things because they know it will make you sad for no reason. Don't pretend as though you don't tell a little harmless lie every now and then to make things easier. Relationships would self destruct from pure honesty and openness.
tami-chan Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 First, it will depend on when it was taken. Second, I will let him know how I feel about him keeping them. Third, if he keeps them, I want to keep them for him . If he wants to look at them again, he can ask me . Fourth, if he regularly looks at the pictures or videos of them, then he has made his choice.
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You fought over an issue 5 times and you are still with him ? Obviously you dont care that much about it since you have decided 5 times that what he is doing is ok to stay with him. It doesnt matter what other people think on here. It only matters what you think. If you feel its disrespectful then he should delete all her pics. No questions asked. Ask him to justify the reasoning in keeping them. I bet he cant come up with anything good. I doubt you will do anything to change the situation though. You already have caved 5 times before and allowed him to do what he wants. .
zengirl Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) I'd drop him like a hot potato, but I can't see myself falling for that kind of guy. Guess what....no guy that took those pictures or made the videos is going to delete them. Your boyfriend just sucks at hiding them. Mine are deleted off the computer, but are stored on a thumb drive along with other personal items. I dont have feelings for any of the girls I made the videos with - it's just interesting to go back and watch them once in awhile, that's all. I never understood getting rid of all pictures of the ex - he/she is part of your past, you learned from that experience, why try to forget it? I don't understand getting rid of all ex pictures either. Sex tapes and such. . . well, that's a different story. My issue wouldn't be about the feelings. It'd be about the "ick" factor of keeping such things around. I'd actually wonder what the ex thought of him still having them. I mean, bad on her for being silly enough to make something like that with a fellow who'd keep it around----but I wouldn't be upset because I was jealous. I'd be upset because I find re-watching such things inappropriate at that point. After the relationship is over, you lose the right to see the person naked. . . and unless they've expressed an explicit wish for you to keep such things, it seems wrong to do so. Just my thoughts. While I don't really care if a fellow looks at porn, it does seem wrong for him to look at someone he knows as an actual person naked while in a relationship. It borders on cheating. I don't care if a fellow stays friends with his ex, hangs out with them, keeps normal mementos and photographs accumulated during the relationship (nothing too schmoopy or sexual), and such. I'm not a jealous person. But this would be way beyond my line of appropriate conduct. They broke up a year ago. He says they dont have any communication whatsover but I know that he has her mobile#, address, MSN user ID. We fought 5 times with this issue over keeping pictures of her on his celphone and computer. The xxx pictures was the last bomb I had to discover. I felt like vomiting. It was really tough for me at that time. I cant describe how I feel, I was madly in love with him, but it really hit me so hard seeing those pics. You fought over it already? And he didn't respect your wishes? Well . . . that says what it says about your relationship. It's really your call. Edited August 9, 2010 by zengirl
Knittress Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 This would bother me. A whole lot. My ex had pictures of him and his babymama acting all cuddly and they would come up on his computer screensaver often. I put up with this for about six months until I asked him if he could maybe do something about it. They were gone immediately. But they weren't off his computer. That's a little bit much. Do you want to scrub her out of his head, too? You might be veering into over-controlling territory a bit, here. He has sexy memories and evidence of himself looking like a total stud. I think what really bothers you is the reminder that he has a past and he's loved/sexed someone else. Nobody wants to be reminded, and this dude is just plain inconsiderate to be leaving this stuff lying around like that - but you're picking pretty small battles to threaten a breakup over, IMO... Heh. Not that I'm saying I wouldn't be thrown for a loop myself.
Engadget Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Any girl I date might run into them, but they're only of me and my...you know.
alexlakeman Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 There was a similar thread this wknd on here. It's tough to just hit delete on ur past's gf's , etc, especially d nudes, lol. In order to hide them I just have their directories layered under a loasd of other directories, just in case, plus a PW on laptop. I do AGREE though, not right for him to keep d ex's pics on d cell phone! Just on d laptop for future reference. Now, my ex gf did catch me with ex's pics on d cell, so I just deleted dem, no biggie. Now a lot of gf's have asked to delete pics of my ex's, hell no!!! Where would I b now?? Those gf's are now also ex's plus I'd b out of some nice pics & videos lol. Ok, the truth sucks! However, what if you're thinking of getting married... Will you ever keep those things... and keep them from your wife? Hmm, that's a toughj call. When I first got married digital cams weren't out yet. I stashed about 5 pics of my ex gf for about 15 yrs!! In d car, in my garage, in d tool box lol, alwasy moved dem around. Then soon after divorcing d next gf told me to dump em (I told her I had dem) and I did. Now I'm out of those pics, so I learned my lessson Flash drive? Hmm dat's a very good idea wiTh a pw. I back up my files online with mozy, but if I delete dem off my lappie, I don't think they will remain stored online. And yeah u r right feeling weird ab out seeing those pics of d ex and another woman.
meerkat stew Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Guess what....no guy that took those pictures or made the videos is going to delete them. Your boyfriend just sucks at hiding them. Mine are deleted off the computer, but are stored on a thumb drive along with other personal items. I dont have feelings for any of the girls I made the videos with - it's just interesting to go back and watch them once in awhile, that's all. I never understood getting rid of all pictures of the ex - he/she is part of your past, you learned from that experience, why try to forget it? Agreed. So long as there's no ongoing contact or relationship, and he's not looking at them and others regularly, what's the big deal really? If you can truly look at yourself and your relationship and express a plausible reason why this is unacceptable, a reason that is not just based on your own vanity, pride or insecurities, then you can legitimately make demands about it, otherwise, not so much. If I found my GF had such, I'd ask her for copies for myself
Ruby Slippers Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Most people are not going to delete these kind of pictures, myself included. I have dirty pictures of me and a few of my exes on my computer -- they're tucked away and I never look at them, but they're there. Now, why were you snooping around on your boyfriend's computer?
alexlakeman Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Agreed. So long as there's no ongoing contact or relationship, and he's not looking at them and others regularly, what's the big deal really? If you can truly look at yourself and your relationship and express a plausible reason why this is unacceptable, a reason that is not just based on your own vanity, pride or insecurities, then you can legitimately make demands about it, otherwise, not so much. If I found my GF had such, I'd ask her for copies for myself It's going to bother any normal person. The last thing I want to c is a pic /video of my gf's ex bangin her or his shlong in her mouth. So ur train of thought is not typical
Author MsSydneyLane Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Now, why were you snooping around on your boyfriend's computer? Ok, first of all I'd like to make it clear this is my ex BF. We broke for other reasons. However, I was curious how others would react and how they would handle such situation. He had his celphone full of other women and myself included there (not xxx pics)... I just felt insulted that I had to be on the same category of pics with his exes and yes it made me feel insecure at that time because we just started out our relationship. He told me that I can delete it myself if it bothers me a lot. I didn't do it of course because at that time I felt that if he keeps those things, it means he still has some hung ups with these women. So I wanted him to delete it himself. (that's why we fought 5 times) Obviously, I have long patience... Until one faithful day, I found more interesting pics on his PC. I wasn't snooping around on my boyfriend's computer. I asked permission to borrow it and wanted to see our pictures from one of our vacations and it so happened I saw different pics! That's the last BOMB that hit me most was wen I saw the xxx pics. Honestly, it wasn't a good feeling. In my own experience, I was shocked and at the same time felt very insulted. As a result, I can still remember even if it happened a long time ago. I threatened him to dump that dammed PC and celphone in the river if he wont get rid of it. Immediately it was off, but the memories of pain lingers... To all the guys here that seem to have the same answers... Hide it well please. I asked my exBF to delete my pics after we broke up... I dont want the next gurl to feel how I felt.
meerkat stew Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 It's going to bother any normal person. The last thing I want to c is a pic /video of my gf's ex bangin her or his shlong in her mouth. So ur train of thought is not typical Well, there's no flashing "tongue in cheek" icon, so I used the cheezy smile. Personally, I don't use porn at all or pictures as masturbation aids (just personal choice, no value judgment), so no wouldn't ask her for copies, was making a joke. However, the "going to bother any normal person" is a bit much. Lots of folks are into voyeurism, some are my friends, they are completely -normal- people. Live and let live.
Art_Critic Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Delete and empty trash.. then try and put it out of your mind..as hard as that is.. Then tell your BF what a douche he is for keeping the trash..let him apologize and life will get back to normal...
Art_Critic Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 We fought 5 times with this issue over keeping pictures of her on his celphone and computer. The xxx pictures was the last bomb I had to discover. Oh.. I just read this.. a common theme.. I would seriously look at the worth of this relationship in your life and seriously consider kicking him to the curb. 5 times.. he is just being disrespectful and at the cost of your feelings... The pictures must carry more worth than he is willing to admit...
Feelin Frisky Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I can't understand that. I've had all kinds of video equipment, frame grabbers, etc, etc for my work and never thought it a good idea to record myself in my own porno movie with my girl. She was what turned me on--not watching ourselves. It's especially stupid to hang on to that and have it discovered by someone in a later relationship. It must be shockingly off-putting.
Author MsSydneyLane Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Oh.. The pictures must carry more worth than he is willing to admit... This is what I had suspected when he wont delete it himself. You got it right Art.
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 This is what I had suspected when he wont delete it himself. You got it right Art. He also probably enjoys showing them off to the guys in the mancave.
SarahRose Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I really doubt the guys who say this is ok would think it was ok if they found pics of their current gf/wife sucking someone elses cock on her computer or cell phone.
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