Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 1. Any free site is a pos, you get what you pay for Pay sites send fake messages to guys because they know the odds are against them and they need to bait the guy to hang around. And your geographic area has the biggest role in how affective your chances are. It doesnt matter whether you pay for a site or not. Most of the time the same people that are on the pay sites and also on the free sites. .
Author gungho Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 The more I'm reading everyone's comments, the more I think online dating isn't right for me, at this time. You've got to really sell yourself, and I don't think I'm capable of that.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I don't think there's anything wrong with the Notebook being listed as a favorite movie. That's more of an individual preference then something a lot of girls would worry about.
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You have proved? lol Yes. being single with no kids leaves one a lot of time. I have switched my profile back and forth a few times. I get more traffic when it has a gritty negative tone, than when it has that fake shiny happy people crap. .
spookie Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I was giving him a woman's perspective about what turns me off. Honestly, I can't imagine many women not being turned off by this movie choice. Ha, ha, ha. I'm pretty sure "The Sandlot" is also my bf's favorite movie. He made me watch it with him a couple weeks ago.
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I don't have kids and I'm single. But I don't have a lot of free time. hmm.. Thats because you choose to be busy or preoccupied.
Author gungho Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 Ha, ha, ha. I'm pretty sure "The Sandlot" is also my bf's favorite movie. He made me watch it with him a couple weeks ago. It's a great movie!
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 I'm busy because I have alot of friends and great family that I spend time with when I'm not working. So you CHOOSE to be busy. Im correct in that statement no matter how much you want to disagree with me No one is forcing you to be with people, you are making that choice.
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 How do you find the time from your busy schedule to grace us with your presence
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 And I bet half the day will be spent here, indulging us with your words of wisdom.
Blade Runner Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Can't see your pic, maybe because I don't have a profile there. But from all the text you sound like a cool guy. Hope you meet someone. Kudos for having some decent taste. Good on you for not hiding the fact that you like the Notebook. If shadowplay is right and the majority of women get turned off by guys who like movies like this, then screw 'em. Movies come first! Stand by Me and One flew over the Cuckoo's nest are up there on my favourite list as well. Anyway Good luck and sounds like you're working on making yourself the best person you can be. Let us know how it works out for you.
Serenitynow Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 No I will be at the beach! Via mobile uploads
skydiveaddict Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 So I've been on the website OKCupid for 2 days now. I've messaged maybe 15 women. 1 responded, but I pretty much initiated every aspect of the messages sent and all she did was respond. Today, I messeged her asking how her day was going, not a response back. My profile has recieved a few visitors, but none of them said anything. None sent me a message, commented on my Journal post, etc. So is am I putting them off somehow with what I wrote or am I just horrific looking? Yes, I know, I'm obese. As stated within my profile, it's something I've been working at. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/rickyjc ] Keep working away with your weight problem. You can do it. Second, forget the dating sites and go find yourself a real live girl. You can do that too.
Knittress Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 The more I'm reading everyone's comments, the more I think online dating isn't right for me, at this time. You've got to really sell yourself, and I don't think I'm capable of that. I get how you feel, but keep in mind that 'selling yourself' is a vital life skill. Maybe online dating might be a good place to take a few baby steps towards learning it? I feel a little sad that LS has scared you off. Look, I'm not into online dating either, but even I have a profile on okcupid because I think it's important to keep oneself open to the possibilities, yanno? Even if it's 'the worst profile ever' (and it's not, believe me) at least you can have pride in the positive efforts you're making in your life.
Romance Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 it says you work on friday nights! girls want a guy with time for them
zengirl Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 Originally Posted by gungho The more I'm reading everyone's comments, the more I think online dating isn't right for me, at this time. You've got to really sell yourself, and I don't think I'm capable of that. In general, more people need to view online dating as just one potential avenue to meet people---don't use it as the end-all be-all or be so all or nothing about it. I see several issues, but they've all been pointed out, so I won't re-iterate them. Really, you can't take rejection terribly personally and be successful at dating, especially as a fellow, I think.
Dblock10 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 i dont like it. (online dating crap) just go out to the real world and meet people. much easier, you dont have to spend ages getting to know someone that really isnt them. You can see them in there not so "lime light" like some of the picture portray on these sites go out, have fun, enjoy life!
ascendotum Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 OP I had to admit I cracked up when I saw you getting a bit despondent over not getting responses back from an on-line dating site after just 2 days. It could be months and/or dozens more emails before you get a response...but hopefully not. I think shadowplay and chokie gave you pretty good advice. It looks like you might have already changed your profile as I didnt notice any overly self-deprecating remarks. When it comes to losing weight even at 65 its not too late, and as for living at home at 25 I wouldn't sweat it, just dont mention it or play it down on a date. It will be an issue for some women, but too bad and for other women it wont be, especially if you are looking for a girl in her early 20s who is likely to still be at home. In most things in life the principle 'you pay for what you get' rings true, but I think dating sites is one of the few instances where it does not necessarily apply. Women more serious about a long term relationship might decide to use pay sites but when your target is girls in their early 20s I dont think shelling out $20-$30 a month on a pay site is going to boost your chances. A lot of the pay sites have scammy business practices. I have heard a few women makes comments along the lines that they think its beneath themselves to have to pay to find a guy and so wont or if they do they then expect a 'great' guy. I dont know how much this attitude is prevalent though. All I know if this that the women I know who do online dating always seem to date fantastic guys with great careers (but the relationships never last past 4 mths). I'd love to see these women say how they met this great guy who's a baker or a welder or a removalist instead of the usual senior consultant, vice president of marketing, property developer, architect, CFO, successful businessman, etc. OP, you say you are quite overweight, does this mean you are only targeting overweight girls. I am just curious as to what your expectations are. SerenityNow - I really think going the positive profile is the best given that he is starting out and targeting women in their early 20s. When it comes to women in their mid 30s who are more cynical the positive life’s great profile from an avg joe probably wont work was as well especially if they have viewed hundreds. A negative profile wont do it though. Any negative or self-deprecating remarks will be honed in on and you will be flicked in short order unless you can compensate with a handsome mug shot. There is plenty more emails in her in-tray. The times I did online dating I got frustrated and would redo the style of my profile every now and then. Having something left of center helped, but different styles appeal to different women, like we have seen in some of the posts on LS. Some women will say go with this and others will say no dont say that because of blah, blah. He can always change tack later on and experiment with different profiles (before he gives up). Sorry OP, best of luck mate.
zengirl Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 In most things in life the principle 'you pay for what you get' rings true, but I think dating sites is one of the few instances where it does not necessarily apply. Women more serious about a long term relationship might decide to use pay sites but when your target is girls in their early 20s I dont think shelling out $20-$30 a month on a pay site is going to boost your chances. A lot of the pay sites have scammy business practices. Pretty solid point for the age group. The only places I know people have used for online dating are Match.com and OKCupid, and Match.com has gone out of fashion, not in, as we became older and more people were on OKCupid. . . Generally, the stereotype my female friends give for the dating sites is: eHarmony: Christian wannabe-married get-me-a-brood-mare Central. Basically, they want them some religious housewives. Match.com: Loads of 30-something serial daters and bad divorcees. Richer fellows, if that's what you're into, who will take you out on fancy dates, but they're more likely to be the nasty types who think a fancy dinner deserves quid-pro-quo in sex. Ew. Uncomfortable all around. There are a few genuine fellows around there, but they're lost in the muckety muck. PlentyofFish: Jocks. And dudes looking to get laid. OKCupid: Mostly normal people. Of course, there are still the creeps and such to weed through (hey, it's a free place to be creepy, why would they stay away?), but there's also a good chance of finding someone nice and normal. The statistics blog makes it a good place to find nerdy boys, too. This is just what we've talked about---mostly the gals in my hometown, as abroad, only OKCupid is really available for expats. (Though they have a Korean Match.com here. But I've never seen it in English.) I've no idea how it holds up in other areas. I have heard a few women makes comments along the lines that they think its beneath themselves to have to pay to find a guy and so wont or if they do they then expect a 'great' guy. I dont know how much this attitude is prevalent though. I think this cuts both ways on the Paid sites. Everyone is so invested with their $30 that they feel the need to see as many people on the sites as possible and go all crazy competitive. This is just what I've observed. The men are pickier there too. That's why you see loads of the same people on there for years. That weirds me out. (Though I guess they could've dated someone in between.)
alexlakeman Posted August 10, 2010 Posted August 10, 2010 Those that say pay sites / online dating doesn't work, obviously have had no success at it. I'm not the best looking guy, I imagine, but It is my #1 tool in my dating for the last several years...
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