Author brainygirl Posted July 31, 2010 Author Posted July 31, 2010 Hey, I know many, many guys that would hit that in the bedroom even though you are overweight. These guys are every where and enough of them are even in good shape! I know because we talk about things over cold beers. I am not sure why so many women get so hung up on it that they feel that have to be bottom feeders. I am definitely not condoning being out of shape but just don't let being out of shape give you a free pass to pick scrape your man from the bottom of the barrel. I know one the one hand you are right, but look at some of the stuff just on these boards that gets said about heavier women. These are supposedly guys who know relationships. Its hard to know that one the one hand, yes, they'd see me as a pretty, feminine, sexy woman, and on the other, they trash talk and bad mouth heavy women and say all kinds of nasty things about them. Its hard to wrap my head around.
Sabali Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 (edited) I know one the one hand you are right, but look at some of the stuff just on these boards that gets said about heavier women. These are supposedly guys who know relationships. Its hard to know that one the one hand, yes, they'd see me as a pretty, feminine, sexy woman, and on the other, they trash talk and bad mouth heavy women and say all kinds of nasty things about them. Its hard to wrap my head around. Heavier women have kids and get married just like everyone else. Don't concentrate on the 3 people who are not attracted to heavier women on this board. There are different taste for different people. I know just too that goes home with women of all shapes and sizes. I think the images on TV and magazines do the most harm in this respect and not actual every day men. My neighbor is a bit on the heavier side and she better not invite me over for a cup of coffee. I am a sucker for a pleasantry, smiles, and a good attitude. Now, if she walked around like she was self-conscious about having extra pounds, she probably wouldn't seem as sexy. Now I definitely wouldn't be pissed if she lost some weight but it wouldn't stop me from letting her borrow some sugar from me. It's something you have control over and it is not something that is a real roadblock to finding a decent person to get involved with. If you don't internalize this and believe it, you will always find yourself in relationships like the guy you are messing around with now. The mind is a m****f*****. Edited July 31, 2010 by Sabali
Author brainygirl Posted July 31, 2010 Author Posted July 31, 2010 Heavier women have kids and get married just like everyone else. Don't concentrate on the 3 people who are not attracted to heavier women. There are different taste for different people. My neighbor is a bit on the heavier side and she better not invite me over for a drink. But I am a sucker for a pleasantry, smiles, and a good attitude. Now, if she walked around like she was self-conscious about having extra pounds, she probably wouldn't seem as sexy. Now I definitely wouldn't be pissed if she lost some weight but it wouldn't stop me from letting her borrow some sugar from me. Er, not sure what you mean here.
Sabali Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Er, not sure what you mean here. It means, most of it's in your head, babydoll.
Author brainygirl Posted July 31, 2010 Author Posted July 31, 2010 BG, Can I ask you how often do you see this guy and how often do you communicate in between the dates and who initiates the most communication? How often we see eachother? maybe once in two weeks, its a long drive and we have to coordinate child care on both ends. who initiates communication? Its kinda fifty/fifty. We don't talk or text every day. In fact, unless we are planning our next date, we don't communicate much at all.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 How often we see eachother? maybe once in two weeks, its a long drive and we have to coordinate child care on both ends. who initiates communication? Its kinda fifty/fifty. We don't talk or text every day. In fact, unless we are planning our next date, we don't communicate much at all. sorry, but your " boyfriend" doesn't sound all that worthwhile. And your degradation about your self-worth is kind of sad because then you're subjecting yourself to lesser worthy values of things in life. Focus on yourself. Forget the guys for a second and question what it is you really deserve? A good body? Work for it. Even hot actresses and models work out 4 times a week to get to be magazine cover worthy. Guys? Go for the hot ones. As superficial as that sounds, if you think you're hot and deserved to be treated right, you look for hot guys and ones that treat you right. No ands ifs and/or buts.
Author brainygirl Posted July 31, 2010 Author Posted July 31, 2010 sorry, but your " boyfriend" doesn't sound all that worthwhile. And your degradation about your self-worth is kind of sad because then you're subjecting yourself to lesser worthy values of things in life. Focus on yourself. Forget the guys for a second and question what it is you really deserve? A good body? Work for it. Even hot actresses and models work out 4 times a week to get to be magazine cover worthy. Guys? Go for the hot ones. As superficial as that sounds, if you think you're hot and deserved to be treated right, you look for hot guys and ones that treat you right. No ands ifs and/or buts. Yeah, A little critical thinking and all of a sudden my issue isn't "does he care" its "why am I still around?" The answer is that while I can handle my job and school and run my home and raise my kids, for some reason I feel absolutely worthless and undesirable when it comes to dating and romance. It doesn't help that I'm not good at the typical flirting stuff, I don't pick on the fact that I was being flirted with until later and I'm terrible with conversation. it doesn't help my self esteem to know that I've probably shot myself in the foot with some really nice people. Like I've said, I am working on the weight as best I can. I can add some more activity to see if the endorphine boost will help my moods. I can try to change my internal conversation (I have a voice that follows me around calling me a dumbass). That doesn't change the fact that I am short and serious and not "hot" enough (and even if I get down to the ideal weight I wont be hot) to attract the guys who have all their crap together and are on a similar career and intellectual level with me. At least thats what it seems like when I look around.
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