sugarmomma Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Its still not gonna get you the response that you would like which is a consistent show of interest. You don't need the excuses, reasons or apologies. Its too early in the game for him to be acting this way. Just deal with your feelings and move forward.
Author Charmaine_Champagne Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 yeh sugarmomma it's weird how they can be soooo keen and then poof disappear. do u think we are ever likely to hear from these guys again? yeh even if he did answer it will just start the drama off again- the blowing hot then cold. so i guess its best to just leave it
sugarmomma Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 yeh sugamomma it's weird how they can be soooo keen and then poof disappear. do u think we are ever likely to hear from these guys again? Maybe. Maybe not. I have to realize that a man's character is more important than anything else I may think we have in common. I know myself and that I would never do that to someone that I was genuinely interested in and I won't waste my time with someone who could be so thoughtless and treat me in such a manner. No matter how much I think we would make a good couple. I have to stay out of LaLa Land. Even if he called I could never look at him the same way. It will always be in my mind that he was so careless of my feelings.
JadedHeart Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Don't worry about it. Just move on there is no hindsight. The fact that he never bothered meeting you in person in because he just wasn't that interested. Sorry
Jilly Bean Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 i can't think of anything i have said or done to put him off I'll enumerate what you did wrong: 1 - you met him, and minutes later, were kissing. Hey - even if it was a peck - WAY wrong. 2 - when he didn't contact you on FRI, you pursued him, when it was clear he had blown you off 3 - to make FRI worse - you agree to meet him at 1AM. Who does this? What kind of a proper first date were you expecting to have? What kind of a message do you think this sent him? 4 - you continued to engage with him (why, I have no idea - he had already blown you off twice), and agree to another meeting. Why did he do all of this? Because from the get-go, you positioned yourself as girl who was a wee desperate (the kissing a stranger thing isn't great policy, IMO), and willing to tolerate a lot of guy crap. Next time, no kissing when you first meet, and if a guy blows off a date, NEVER EVER pursue him at this point once, let alone twice. Lessons learned. We've all been there in some fashion or another, believe me. lol
D-Lish Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 i'd just like your thoughts on this.. why approach a girl, ask for her number, text her, confirm that you want to meet her etc if you have no intention of doing so? i mean if he didn't want to meet me tonight he could have texted earlier and just said 'hey i'm no feeling well, etc' or something, anything? Or you could have written him off as you should have when he didn't follow through. That's the key- recognizing when someone isn't treating you with respect and taking a stand. Don't allow someone the opportuntity to become special or important in your life until they earn it.
jamesum Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I have got girls who gave me their numbers but wont respond when I called them. Why do girls do this? Its the same reason. No one can really answer that because neither men nor women are a single person. We are all different individuals.
Author Charmaine_Champagne Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) i think jelly beans post sums it up well also: 1 - you met him, and minutes later, were kissing. Hey - even if it was a peck - WAY wrong. 2 - when he didn't contact you on FRI, you pursued him, when it was clear he had blown you off 3 - to make FRI worse - you agree to meet him at 1AM. Who does this? What kind of a proper first date were you expecting to have? What kind of a message do you think this sent him? 4 - you continued to engage with him (why, I have no idea - he had already blown you off twice), and agree to another meeting. Why did he do all of this? Because from the get-go, you positioned yourself as girl who was a wee desperate (the kissing a stranger thing isn't great policy, IMO), and willing to tolerate a lot of guy crap. ..and yet oddly enough when we were messaging i thought i was playing it cool lol.. he initiated texts, he suggested meeting.. yet all along i came across as a good time girl.. and its just the way he confirmed fri with me on the thurs night, then the next day fri comes and nothing.. seems odd. oh well. what are the odds that i will hear from him again now? 0? i've deleted his number anyway and have not contacted him. i should just have not contacted him when friday came and i heard nothing. i get this alot, as do my female friends. and i actually read that some guys just want to get lots of girls numbers, like an ego boost. however, i'd thought this was different as we met in the sober light of day and not in a nightclub with people drinking. my problem is that i used to be an ice queen, very serious, very unapproachable and that if a guy had asked for my number in the past, even if i liked him i'd have said no.. i think this was defensive behavior, fear of getting hurt. but now i'm abit older, i've come out of my shell more and tend to be more friendly, less defensive and yet everytime i open up to a guy, give him my number, make the effort, etc.. it either doesn't materialize or i end up getting hurt. so i feel i can't win. i'd consider myself to be attractive and a nice person so i don't know what i'm doing wrong, if i play it too cool i feel i might push them away, give the wrong impression as if i'm not interested but yet in this case i clearly came across as too keen, desperate even when all i wanted to do was let him know i was interested. now i feel he is probably laughing at me Edited July 20, 2010 by Charmaine_Champagne
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