Confusedalways Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I actually prefer my men shy/ quiet. Since I talk a lot, I don't know if people would be able to stand us as a couple if he talked as much as I. Plus I always feel like I'm let in on some sort of secret when I crack a shy guy . I think the first or second time your bf is hanging out with your friends, it shouldn't be a big deal if he wasn't speaking much. I'd be more concerned if by the 6th or so time he was as shy as he was the first time. His "openness" at the 6th meeting and beyond may still seem shy to you, but if you've progressed from the first time, that'd be enough for me in my book!
wierdmunky Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I'm labeled shy sometimes. Sometimes I just don't click with a majority of people , because it seems that the people that I do click with don't really call me that. We have different mentalities, and I noticed in H.S., when I was louder, it would get you a long faster, people would notice you, and respond to you more light heartedly, I guess it's because you won't be judged as being sketchy since you make yourself known. Some conversations to me as I got older seem pointless, and it's kind of rude to just walk out of a conversation, yawn, or even wittingly change the subject since there are other people there talking about it. I spend a lot of time by myself and can be totally content too so it's no biggie if I'm not saying stuff. It's hard to jump into a conversation you know nothing about, especially if you don't know a group, and you know they have a huge significance in your significant other's life.
jean-luc sisko Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 It depends in my mind how one defines shyness. It could be he lacks confidence, or that he cannot contribute to conversations. People have different interests. Some people just aren't as talkative as others.
Eeyore79 Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 I'm a naturally quiet and reserved person. I'm not shy, or nervous - I just don't have much interest in most people and I have no desire to make smalltalk. I try to be sociable if it's absolutely necessary, for example if my partner wants me to meet his friends, but it's a real effort for me and it's not my idea of fun. I'll happily talk to people who interest me, but the majority of people don't, so I'm untalkative because I really don't have anything I want to say to them. I'd be upset if someone wanted to change me, or if someone assumed that I must be shy and I needed help to get over it. I don't want to get over it - as far as I'm concerned there's nothing to get over, because I like being quiet and only talking to a select few people who interest me, and I have no desire to be more sociable.
dispatch3d Posted September 2, 2010 Posted September 2, 2010 She introduced him to her two closest friends. If he is on her wavelength and gets along so well with her, then I find it difficult to believe that her two closest friends would be so very different from her as to be unable to comprehend his story. And if he really was concerned about being perceived as a show off, he should have been more concerned about being perceived as rude in speaking so softly as to only be heard by her despite sitting at a table for four. I think you're not fully realizing guys talk about different things than girls do. If you took 4 guys and had them talk about something, and took 4 girls and had them talk about something the subject material would be COMPLETELY different. Furthermore, not only would they be talking about two completely different subjects (say sports vs entertainment), they would also be talking in two completely different manners. Guys talk about stories in the context of actions/results/etc. Girls talk about stories in the context of feelings/reactions/outcomes (like OMG I was so embarassed!) etc. Basically to tell a story to a bunch of guys, the story should be more action-oriented, and to tell a story to a bunch of girls it would have to be more feelings-oriented. The two groups are completely different. When you are 1-on-1 with each other, the difference is one person is dominating the conversation with the topic they are interested in. Girls/woman also completely change the way they talk (without realizing it). I was able to tell once that a particular guy and girl were not dating because the girl was actually leading the conversation topics, and if they were dating it's much more likely to be the opposite.
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