Why won't he include me :(

[RedRussian]

Yes I have been lurking a bit then saw what you saw, there was no me!

 

I had to take charge and bring some sense in to this so called "community" I am here to stay, with wisdom to spread enough to fill up minds of all.

 

You have made my day

[2sunny]

i think he doesn't necessarily want you to be privy to his affections and close friendship with these women.

 

when there nothing to hide - you hide nothing. he's hiding something by his willingness to go knowing it hurts your feelings. that would be enough for me to tell him to take a hike.

[RedRussian]

"i think he doesn't necessarily want you to be privy to his affections and close friendship with these women."

 

Do women read the posts here? He told her where he is going and who is is with and WHY she is not welcomed.

 

This girl is crazy and acts like a child that was the reason, he said he would need to look over his shoulder when she is near and can't relax and have fun.

 

If I was him I would dump OP long time ago and he will soon I hope for his mental health.

 

I agree with all who say you should dump him, save that man, let him go!

[janie423]

maybe you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along.

 

Yes playing these childish games will make him want her all that more....Women don't get that on guys the jealousy game works poorly unlike on catty women.

 

He will take it as an insult and that you are not in to him anymore. So yea, do that and don't forget to tell him you got drunk and kissed one of the cute guys, that will make him fall in love with you right then and there.

 

Believe it or not I agree with you on this segment. That would backfire in a heartbeat.

 

But my question to you, Red, why are you suspicious of a women going out with male friends (provided it wasn't done as a game), but you are adamant about the OP being paranoid that her BF is going out with these women? Is it because they are classmates? What if the situation were reversed, would you be suspicious of the women hanging out with her male classmates? Somewhat puzzling to me.

[RedRussian]

Male "friends" are after one thing and we all men know it, female friends can have guy platonic friends much more easily then men. it's a fact!

 

Girls and guys are very different and how they befriend others and for what reason is very different.

 

I say platonic female friends are less threat then male "platonic" friends.

[RedRussian]

Somewhat puzzling to me.

 

For a woman with a small brain that is not uncommon.

 

believe it or not I agree with you on this segment

 

And why would you not? why is it so "believe it or not"?

[Ariadne]

you are adamant about the OP being paranoid that her BF is going out with these women? Is it because they are classmates?

 

I would say that if the guy is going out for drinks with girls he has already folded and doesn't care about the gf very much.

[janie423]

Male "friends" are after one thing and we all men know it, female friends can have guy platonic friends much more easily then men. it's a fact!

 

Girls and guys are very different and how they befriend others and for what reason is very different.

 

I say platonic female friends are less threat then male "platonic" friends.

 

Okay, then by your logic, her BF is male with female friends and therefore is "after one thing" with these girls. So the female platonic friends are less of a threat ONLY if the male is not interested in them. But how can OP be sure. Just playing devil's advocate . . .

[RedRussian]

Well she can be sure or not and that is where the beef is at, if she is not sure, then yes i say he is looking to cheat based on the OP childish and drama ways.

[janie423]

1. Somewhat puzzling to me.

 

For a woman with a small brain that is not uncommon.

 

2. believe it or not I agree with you on this segment

 

And why would you not? why is it so "believe it or not"?

 

1. I'll take you on intellectually and cognitively any day, pal Small but mighty . . .

 

2. Because mostly everyone else disagrees with you, and I usually disagree with male posters, but I know what you say there is true.

[Ariadne]

Well she can be sure or not and that is where the beef is at, if she is not sure, then yes i say he is looking to cheat based on the OP childish and drama ways.

 

......

[Woman In Blue]

Women and their small brains....

Hey Russian - what is your problem?

 

I've read your crap all morning and quite frankly, you need to go find another hobby other than posting on LS and constantly letting your anger out on women and/or anyone whose opinion with which you don't agree. Almost every post of yours spews your clear hatred and disgust for women and it's getting really old really fast.

 

My opinion on this situation? I think it's way too much drama for a 25 year old woman to be making over her boyfriend spending a couple hours hanging out having drinks with his college friends. He's not connected to the OP's hip and has a right to be able to hang out with friends without having to bring his insecure girlfriend along and cater to her. There are much bigger and better things to worry about than something this trivial.

 

That's MY opinion. But I'm not going to call men idiots or talk about their "small brains" while doing it. Seriously Russian, you need to take it down a few notches.

[Dexter Morgan]

maybe you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along.

 

whaddya want to bet he wouldn't like it.

 

Yes playing these childish games will make him want her all that more....Women don't get that on guys the jealousy game works poorly unlike on catty women.

 

He will take it as an insult and that you are not in to him anymore.

 

so let me see if I understand you clearly....if she does the EXACT same thing to him he is doing to her.....he will take it as an insult and think she isn't in to him anymore?

 

Thanks for proving my point. So OP can take what he is doing as an insult and conclude that he isn't in to her anymore.

 

you do very well at making other peoples' points.

[Dexter Morgan]

"If I had a gf, and I was going out with a group, especially if it were all girls, I'd be calling my gf and telling her to meet us where we are going."

 

Let me guess, you don't have a GF?

 

you guessed wrong

 

 

Nice guys get a short end of the stick...you know, ones that call the GF and tell them where they are and what they are doing all the time....

 

i don't necessarily disagree that nice guys get the short end of the stick, but after going through a divorce, I won't put up with the kind of behavior the original poster is putting up with. I'd be out of there. (no offense to OP, just my experience has shaped how I will react from now on)

[Dexter Morgan]

Uh. So she's hurting him on purpose if she calls up a bunch of male friends and goes out with them? If this 'hanging with the opposite gender' thing isn't a big deal to him (because HE does it), it shouldn't hurt him, no?

 

Think before you post, boy.

 

 

I love it!!!

[Dexter Morgan]

Girl READ BEFORE YOU POST!

 

She was given an advice to hurt him:

 

maybe you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along.

 

whaddya want to bet he wouldn't like it.

 

That sounds to me like a plot to hurt her BF for insecurities of his GF.

 

Women and their small brains....

 

why would it hurt him if he is doing the same? did your momma have any kids that lived?

[Dexter Morgan]

Male "friends" are after one thing and we all men know it, female friends can have guy platonic friends much more easily then men. it's a fact!.

 

uh, in case your brain can't be wrapped around this, in the situation of a "female" friend, the other half is the "male friend" you spoke of in the bolded part.

 

the OP's BF is a "male friend"

 

methinks you don't think

[Parlanchina]

Again, Thank you so much to all who cared to reply to my question... It its really very enlightening, even reading two opposing sides.

 

 

My opinion on this situation? I think it's way too much drama for a 25 year old woman to be making over her boyfriend spending a couple hours hanging out having drinks with his college friends. He's not connected to the OP's hip and has a right to be able to hang out with friends without having to bring his insecure girlfriend along and cater to her. There are much bigger and better things to worry about than something this trivial.

 

Thank you for this. I'm heartbroken that I should even make a thread about being sad over my boyfriend enjoying nights out with Coursemates. What I'm going to do now is to never be sad about it. I just hope that I stop being hurt about not being included.

 

It's not easy. But I guess I'll try. And I'm not going to bring this up with him anymore.

 

P.S.

Red Russian, your posts were never helpful. Thanks but just keep it to yourself.

[Reality Drip]

He's loving the attention he's getting being in the group.

 

Any time a man is deliberately excluding you then you have reason to be suspicious. This is a problem that, if left unaddressed, is going to rot your relationship from the inside out.

 

Tell him that he is being disrespectful. Offer him the same scenario; what if you were excluding him from you hanging out with several guys at a bar? No, it isn't different. It's the same thing - don't let him throw that argument at you.

 

-Max