Ann_Igma Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Personally, I think it is totally fine to go for a drink or two (no more than 2-3 hours) with coursemates regardless of sex. But then I am not Colombian and cultural rules vary. I've just got to T/J here for a minute to say that you're the second person to assume she's misspelled her country and is from South America, but there are also a few towns in the US called Columbia. I'm guessing from the way she talks that she's from the latter and not the former. OP, care to clear that up? Also, I do agree it's ok to go out for a couple drinks with coursemates regardless of sex sometimes. However the OP has stated that she has already told her BF in the past that she is uncomfortable with this particular group of girls, so I don't think it's very unreasonable for him to allow her to tag along, to allay her fears. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 I dont' know why he does not do this. If in you situation it is possible, then I cannot see why it can't be with mine. maybe you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along. whaddya want to bet he wouldn't like it. whats good for the goose. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 I think OP is to needy and BF picks up on it. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Has this ever come up before? Has he ever invited you to come along before and drama got started? Have you ever gotten upset with him or some other girl in a social situation? Have you gotten upset before when people have been drinking around you to the point where you complained until you both left? The whole "I can't have a good time if I feel like I have to watch over you" only makes sense to me if you create drama often when the two of you go out. Be honest about this with yourself - does he have reason for feeling this way due to you past behavior? If not, I think he only wants to go out and get buzzed while two of the four girls stroke his ego and flirt with him. My husband has female friends. I don't always participate in his social time with them, but its not because he has expressly asked me to not come. He has always offered to include me, I just don't always want to be included. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 maybe you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along. whaddya want to bet he wouldn't like it. Yes playing these childish games will make him want her all that more....Women don't get that on guys the jealousy game works poorly unlike on catty women. He will take it as an insult and that you are not in to him anymore. So yea, do that and don't forget to tell him you got drunk and kissed one of the cute guys, that will make him fall in love with you right then and there. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 OP, care to clear that up? Don't know if this is indicative, but parlanchina is the Spanish feminine singular for 'talkative, loquatious'. Spanish is the official language of Colombia. Perhaps the OP made a typo in her profile. If she is Colombian living in Colombia, there may be very different social 'rules' involved. Hopefully, we'll get more information. Regardless, if it *feels* unhealthy for her, that's something she should address with her BF. Hopefully they can find some middle ground. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 maybe you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along. whaddya want to bet he wouldn't like it. Yes playing these childish games will make him want her all that more....Women don't get that on guys the jealousy game works poorly unlike on catty women. He will take it as an insult and that you are not in to him anymore. So yea, do that and don't forget to tell him you got drunk and kissed one of the cute guys, that will make him fall in love with you right then and there. Wow. So her hanging out with guys is an 'insult' and she isn't into him anymore, but him hanging out with girls is peachy and she's being controlling if she has a problem with it? Choose your side, dude, else you're just gonna sound like you've a couple of screws loose in the logic department. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 (edited) If I had a gf, and I was going out with a group, especially if it were all girls, I'd be calling my gf and telling her to meet us where we are going. but then again, I wouldn't be hanging out with a bunch of other women if I am in a committed relationship Yep. If these women were truely his friends they would make you feel welcome when you came along. Because, that is what friends do when someone brings along a BF or GF. My STBXW didn't want me around when she went out for drinks with "co-workers" after work. care to guess why? Edited June 10, 2010 by phineas Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 "If I had a gf, and I was going out with a group, especially if it were all girls, I'd be calling my gf and telling her to meet us where we are going." Let me guess, you don't have a GF? Nice guys get a short end of the stick...you know, ones that call the GF and tell them where they are and what they are doing all the time.... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Read before you post woman. He is not doing it to hurt her on purpose, he is tired of her drama and wants to hang with friends NOT to hurt her feelings. "you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along." Is that fair and logical response to what he is doing? Women and their loose screws... Uh. So she's hurting him on purpose if she calls up a bunch of male friends and goes out with them? If this 'hanging with the opposite gender' thing isn't a big deal to him (because HE does it), it shouldn't hurt him, no? Think before you post, boy. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Uh. So she's hurting him on purpose if she calls up a bunch of male friends and goes out with them? If this 'hanging with the opposite gender' thing isn't a big deal to him (because HE does it), it shouldn't hurt him, no? Think before you post, boy. don't let the troll get to you. He says it's ok for a man to go out with woman friends in this thread but in another thread, he says it's not ok for a woman to go out with guy friends because she is banging them. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Girl READ BEFORE YOU POST! She was given an advice to hurt him: maybe you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along. whaddya want to bet he wouldn't like it. That sounds to me like a plot to hurt her BF for insecurities of his GF. Women and their small brains.... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Mmhmm. That totally explains your response here to a guy posting about his girl and her guyfriends. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t234208/ Troll. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 he says it's not ok for a woman to go out with guy friends because she is banging them. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 don't let the troll get to you. He says it's ok for a man to go out with woman friends in this thread but in another thread, he says it's not ok for a woman to go out with guy friends because she is banging them. Yeah LOL. Ah well. I hope the OP has gotten some good advice from the thread anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 he says it's not ok for a woman to go out with guy friends because she is banging them. Oh? He said she is banging them, or YOU said she's banging them? My little woman brain is confused. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 "she is with me and that's all that matters". YEs keep telling yourself that wile she bangs her male "friends" behind your back. I was making a point that when guy sais above quote he is in a dream world, like she hangs with guy friends alone till midnight, but as long as she comes home it's ok Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Keep using this little brain of yours woman maybe one day it will be as massive and as powerful as Men's. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Mm. And the OP's bf hangs out with girls til late at night. Must he be banging them then? Please, oh mighty one, utilise your leet scrying skillz and tell me! Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 I think men here can tell stories about GF's and their male "friends" and how it worked out. Most left for their "friend" right after braking up with their BF's. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Yup. Men have never slept with their 'female friends' while in a relationship, amirite? Only women cheat!! Us evil bitches... Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 I never said "Men have never slept with their 'female friends' while in a relationship" I was talking in response to the issue at hand. If gender roles were reversed, you would be telling guy not to be needy or desperate and give her freedom and space. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Sounds like he treats you like his 15 year old kid sister. reassured me, I can feel at ease he is taking care of your insecurities and it's hard work so he went to get a drink from a kid who just don't get it. I think that you should go out with YOUR "friends" at the same time...see how it makes him feel.. Let the Men hating games begin! Wow advice from a woman to try hurt Mans feelings for doing nothing wrong, and just because feelings of an insecure little girl got hurt...wow just wow Yes start stalking him like a crazy GF you are. I think OP is to needy and BF picks up on it. maybe you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along. whaddya want to bet he wouldn't like it. Yes playing these childish games will make him want her all that more....Women don't get that on guys the jealousy game works poorly unlike on catty women. He will take it as an insult and that you are not in to him anymore. So yea, do that and don't forget to tell him you got drunk and kissed one of the cute guys, that will make him fall in love with you right then and there. Read before you post woman. He is not doing it to hurt her on purpose, he is tired of her drama and wants to hang with friends NOT to hurt her feelings. "you should find yourself a group of sexy guys to hang out with and make sure he isn't invited to come along." Is that fair and logical response to what he is doing? Women and their loose screws... "she is with me and that's all that matters". YEs keep telling yourself that wile she bangs her male "friends" behind your back. I was making a point that when guy sais above quote he is in a dream world, like she hangs with guy friends alone till midnight, but as long as she comes home it's ok I think men here can tell stories about GF's and their male "friends" and how it worked out. Most left for their "friend" right after braking up with their BF's. Best advice. I agree with everything you said. Why is your name RedRussian btw? Link to post Share on other sites
RedRussian Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 (edited) Finally, a person who understand! Thank you very much for support. I am Russian and Russians have Red Army. So it was easy.... Edited June 10, 2010 by RedRussian Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 (edited) I am Russian and Russians have Red Army. Yes! Your thinking was not the typical you get around here. Edited June 10, 2010 by Ariadne Link to post Share on other sites
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