Author CaliGuy Posted June 8, 2010 Author Posted June 8, 2010 Hey Cali, awesome to hear you're doing so well in recovery! Though I haven't had a personal brush with death (yet) in a matter of four years I got married, my mom passed from cancer, my ex wife cheated, lied and left without warning, my aunt died, my uncle died then my dad's health went downhill, I had to take care of him and then he passed away. I'm 42, a lot of my friends have started to disappear from my life for whatever reasons. Many are now married with kids which is great but my life doesn't have much in common with theirs at the moment. Others have just drifted away. Our lives are errily similar. My mom passed away in 2005 and not a week later my g/f decided to hop on the lap of some other guy -- WHILE I was in Florida attending my mom's funeral. Talk about a double whammy! But on the plus side, my mom is in a better place next to God's right hand side and my ex -- well I am a LOT better off without her in my life. She was a head case beyond repair. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I kinda get where you're coming from and started to reach the same point in the last couple of months. If you feel there's a void you'll try to fill it with whatever looks like it might fit. I've had enough of trying to force the square pegs into the round holes. Exactly! I have so many things I enjoy (working out, golfing, softball, riding motorcycles, engine work, house work, etc) that I do NOT need someone to fill a perceived "void" that is my life. On the contrary, life is so much better when I am not involved with someone who is a walking basket-case! Hope you stop by LS once in a while. You advice has usually been pretty spot on. I stop by around once a week, mostly to help where I am needed. I do see a lot of repeated posts that are answered by my links. Oh i know there isnt anything wrong with me, I suppose I'm just sick of the chase. so I'm not chasing anymore. Don't chase The right person will come to you in time and it won't be a game. It will come easy, that is for sure!
txsilkysmoothe Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 As someone like myself who has had God say to me "You're not ready to come to me yet..." and gave me a second chance at life, I think I should be doing things that exault Him and minimize myself. And if that means I will be much like Paul, well -- there are a LOT worse things that can happen in my life. That is for sure! GREAT SENTIMENT............... There was a time I had no interest in the opposite sex as well and it started following an emotional event. I think it was a mental block, a switch flipped. I didn't date for 11 years and would have continued down that path had it not been for an unexpected kiss. The switch flipped back and ever since I've been focusing too much on dating. I would gladly return to not caring about dating - I was content, happy, and didn't feel like something was missing. Best wishes to you!
sumdude Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Exactly! I have so many things I enjoy (working out, golfing, softball, riding motorcycles, engine work, house work, etc) that I do NOT need someone to fill a perceived "void" that is my life. On the contrary, life is so much better when I am not involved with someone who is a walking basket-case! The emotional voids are real though. I was close with my parents and loved my ex wife. My life today barely resembles what it was before. It's taken quite a while to adjust and during that time it's hard not to grasp for something or someone because I do belive emotional intimacy is a human need. then there's that sex drive thing..
TouchedByViolet Posted June 8, 2010 Posted June 8, 2010 Exactly! I have so many things I enjoy (working out, golfing, softball, riding motorcycles, engine work, house work, etc) that I do NOT need someone to fill a perceived "void" that is my life. I lived the first 20 years of my life with this mentality and then one day it hit me. A profound feeling of loneliness. Now I look back with some regret. Life is strange.
Author CaliGuy Posted June 8, 2010 Author Posted June 8, 2010 The emotional voids are real though. I was close with my parents and loved my ex wife. My life today barely resembles what it was before. It's taken quite a while to adjust and during that time it's hard not to grasp for something or someone because I do belive emotional intimacy is a human need. then there's that sex drive thing.. Agree completely though I don't think that a perceived void is something that can not be dealt with. I mean, I love Kate Beckinsale, but I can live without her Doesn't make her or Megan Fox any less attractive though, lol! What was the nature of the accident? Look up a thread by "The Way I Am" that she posted on Feb 22nd or 23rd. It explains in details my status (nearly dying) and my post in that thread as to what happened.
Author CaliGuy Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 I lived the first 20 years of my life with this mentality and then one day it hit me. A profound feeling of loneliness. Now I look back with some regret. Life is strange. Sorry I didn't see this. I was a loner as a child (have always had friends but have always appreciated my independence). Now that I am older, while it would be nice to be married to Ms. Right, I am not in the least bit concerned about it. I have a full life, so adding someone to it would COMPLIMENT my life, not make or break it
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