Why do women go crazy when rejected by a man they like?

[Brightmoon]

Some women do it just like some men.

 

You made your bed by breaking things off the cowardly way, so you have to deal with the consequences.

 

She probably thought you were a great guy. Going on six dates with her and not pressuring her into sex before she was ready to and then out of no where you use the cowardly way out.

 

 

Nail-on-the-head!!!

[Johnny M]

"A woman like that?" You don't know anything about her, beyond Alphamales's account. And if you looked, he ended things in a very inconsiderate way... Alphamale doesn't know whether the slandering actually occured and neither do we. So telling him to go and basically attack someone because of gossip that "may or may not have" occured is impulsive and selfish.

First of all, Of course we don't know anything beyond alpha male's account. But the same thing is true of pretty much every thread posted on this board. You have to assume that the version presented by the OP is at least somewhat factually correct - otherwise, there is no point in participating in a discussion forum like this, as you never get more than one side of the story here.

 

Second, if she hasn't actually been spreading false rumors, she would have no problem being called out on it and she did nothing and would have no problem defending her reputation in front of her friends.

 

Secondly, I have a problem with you telling me how I will or won't act. I've never been in that position before because i've never composed myself in a way that would warrant being "called out". You're assuming i'm siding with this girl because like her, I'm afraid of my own day of reckoning.

It certainly sounds that way to me. You are advising him to avoid direct confrontation because you dread the thought of finding yourself in the same situation.

 

Not to mention, what would Alphamale even say: "Stop talking to everyone about how I was inconsiderate? It's making me look bad?"

No, he would look her in the eye and say: "why are you saying that I did A, B, C when you know that it's a lie?" At that point, she will either become discombobulated and start mumbling nonsense (which would be readily apparent to everyone present) or confidently state that she has no idea what he's talking about, in which case it would be time to confront the person who started the rumor about her supposedly spreading rumors.

 

That's how men deal with these situations.

[Johnny M]

And speaking of him dumping her via text message, why are all the women getting so worked up over it? If they were in an exclusive relationship for years, then I could certainly understand the outrage. However, they only went out a few times and didn't even have sex. So he didn't even dump her, as they weren't a couple; he simply informed her that he was no longer interested in seeing her. I don't see anything wrong with doing so via a text message.

 

I mean, what was he supposed to do - invite her to a fancy restaurant, throw himself at her feet and apologize profusely - all because he decided to cease contact after a couple of dates??

[Twenty-ten]

When Shakespeare coined the line "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", as in most literary bodies of work, it was based on life's anecdotal truths.

 

And I do stress the "woman scorned" part.

 

Women are more emotional, it's easier for us to pull out the crazy card when need be.

[Jersey Shortie]

Nahh. You just pick up that little thing called the phone....and speak into it instead of typing into it and you say "Hi Amber. Look, I just am not feeling it anymore and I'd like to call things off. Wish you the best." Men break up with women over text for two reasons. They are either lazy or cowards.

[Woggle]

I bet if the genders were reversed all the women here would be singing a different tune.

[shadowplay]

Some men do this too. My ex would badmouth me to everyone in a five mile radius whenever we had any sort of relationship problem, and I mean everybody -- friends, roommates, landlords/ladies, random acquaintances. When I kindly asked him to stop, he called me controlling.

 

But, Alpha, you were kind of asking for it. You dumped her via text. Of course she's going to be pissed and want to vent.

[marsle85]

Second, if she hasn't actually been spreading false rumors, she would have no problem being called out on it and she did nothing and would have no problem defending her reputation in front of her friends.

 

That's just idiotic. Why intentionally start a confrontation with someone when you're not even sure what you're saying has any basis to it. I think the risk of looking like a total moron infront of her and her friends. anyone It totally isn't worth the "possible" chance that he can salvage his ego. Makes no sense.

 

It certainly sounds that way to me. You are advising him to avoid direct confrontation because you dread the thought of finding yourself in the same situation.

 

I want to give a rebuttle but... I never said anything like that. What I said was that I've never BEEN in that situation because i've never disrespected someone to the point where they thought it necessary to be hostile. Respect has worked pretty well for me.

 

No, he would look her in the eye and say: "why are you saying that I did A, B, C when you know that it's a lie?" At that point, she will either become discombobulated and start mumbling nonsense (which would be readily apparent to everyone present) or confidently state that she has no idea what he's talking about, in which case it would be time to confront the person who started the rumor about her supposedly spreading rumors.

 

There is no nonsense! According to Alphamale, the only thing she even has on him is his own faults. He ended it in a really crappy, inconsiderate way. To your statement, she'd respond: "You acted like a jerk, you should have handled it with more "respect" (see, it's pretty fundamental within interpersonal relationships). For his own credibility, I would suggest letting this one smooth over, because ultimately he started this tirade.

 

That's how men deal with these situations.

 

I beg to differ. I would never advise a man to not only chase around a woman who may/may not have talked about the already inconsiderate way he ended things and potentially look like a fool. His only case is that she's telling other people about his OWN indecent actions. Why admit to that? Nor would I ever encourage disrespect in any regard, it's only going to encourage more revenge and counterproductive behavior. Thirdly, in the case that she denies it- you're going to advise Alphamale to run around chasing the true source of the gossip...like a real man?

 

Nooo way.

[Johnny M]

That's just idiotic. Why intentionally start a confrontation with someone when you're not even sure what you're saying has any basis to it.

No, it's not idiotic. Sometimes, confrontation is necessary to make the truth come out. What's idiotic is advising someone to do nothing while his name and reputation are being slandered. Only a total moron/wimp would accept such advice.

[Twenty-ten]

Well the logical solution to this problem would be to confront the woman who is spreading these rumors but seeing as he failed to confront her when he had to let her go, then it's not really an option here..is it?

[marsle85]

No, it's not idiotic. Sometimes, confrontation is necessary to make the truth come out. What's idiotic is advising someone to do nothing while his name and reputation are being slandered. Only a total moron/wimp would accept such advice.

 

Johnny, he doesn't care about his name or reputation. If he did, he wouldn't had ended it the way he did. I don't know man, I'd never want anyone to be walked over- but from the sounds of it, they both kind of screwed up. Depends on the severity of the girl's actions. Time to let it goo.

[Johnny M]

Johnny, he doesn't care about his name or reputation. If he did, he wouldn't had ended it the way he did. I don't know man, I'd never want anyone to be walked over- but from the sounds of it, they both kind of screwed up. Depends on the severity of the girl's actions. Time to let it goo.

Ummm, yes he does care. He still wants to date other women from that social circle, and if his reputation is tarnished, it would obviously be more difficult. And what was so terrible about the way he ended things? Please elaborate.

[Sharla]

i guess i don't like girls that don't do kissy kissy on the first date...

 

So that brings us back to the original question...

 

Why did you continue to date her if you didn't like her?

 

I honestly think you're anger stems from the fact that she didn't sleep with you, and she called you out on it.

 

And it bothers you that she might possibly tell other people that was most likely the reason you chose to end things with her.

 

But you've said yourself, you're not a "nice guy", and if that's true...then why do you even care at this point?

[marsle85]

Ummm, yes he does care. He still wants to date other women from that social circle, and if his reputation is tarnished, it would obviously be more difficult. And what was so terrible about the way he ended things? Please elaborate.

 

 

If he wanted to continue things with people in her social circle, don't you think it would have been smarter to consider how he concluded things with her? I think so. It's unreasonable to think you can treat someone poorly and expect her not to warn people in her social circle about his lack of consideration. Not very realistic, either.

 

The true source of his reputation being ruined isn't the girl. It's him. If he would have been more respectful and considerate, she would have been disappointed yes, even maybe a little angry- but not holding a grudge.

 

He made his own bed, and he's complaining because she's letting people in her "social circle" (aka friends) know it's not very warm.

 

If you read what I posted earlier, I revealed I actually didn't mind the concept of his text message. He was clear the chemistry wasn't there. If he were to have conducted himself in a polite, cordial manner- it would been entirely her fault if she's a nutcase and acts poorly.

 

Don't be insensitive. It was rude to end their relationship-or-whatever-it-was via text (in that manner). And if you're so sure it wasn't, then her girlfriends in her "social circle," won't care a bit.

 

Not likely.

[Twenty-ten]

The true source of his reputation being ruined isn't the girl. It's him. If he would have been more respectful and considerate, she would have been disappointed yes, even maybe a little angry- but not holding a grudge.

 

Don't be insensitive. It was rude to end their relationship-or-whatever-it-was via text (in that manner). And if you're so sure it wasn't, then her girlfriends in her "social circle," won't care a bit.

 

 

That's the bottom line right there.

 

If a g/f tells me she got dumped because the guy she was seeing called her up and told her he felt they should just be friends, I would think "sorry to hear that it sucks but at least he was honest with you and didn't lead you on" Now if the same g/f where to tell me he told her some shtty lines on text and dumped her like that I would think "what a jerk-off coward" never mind her badmouthing him I would bad mouth him willingly myself and with 0 coaxing on her part because in my eyes what he did was rotten, and at the end of the day I care more about my g/f than I do about some random guy who doesn't have the decency to offer some respect to someone who didn't deserve less than that.

[littlewhiterose]

Whats the deal with chicks losing their minds when they get rejected by some dude they like, regardless of the type of relationship.

 

Whats up with all the nasty stuff and spreading rumours and bad mouthing the guy? And also being spiteful.

 

And then telling other girls that he's a "bad guy" and not date-worthy?

 

I don't see many men acting like this

 

The women that do this are angry because they have low self esteem & confidence. They seek out the validation of the guys they are interested in. When they get rejected, they go ape shizz! They don't see that it reflects poorly on their character. There's more dignity in just letting it go.

[zicke]

indeed Woggle, she probably likes me even more now that i've jettisoned her out of my life

 

I think you make stuff up and are a troll. "Alphamale" my ass.

[alphamale]

But, Alpha, you were kind of asking for it. You dumped her via text. Of course she's going to be pissed and want to vent.

there was nothing to "dump", we were not a couple

[Johnny M]

If he wanted to continue things with people in her social circle, don't you think it would have been smarter to consider how he concluded things with her? I think so. It's unreasonable to think you can treat someone poorly and expect her not to warn people in her social circle about his lack of consideration. Not very realistic, either.

Again, I'm asking you to elaborate. What exactly did he do that constitutes "poor treatment"?

[sweetjasmine]

indeed Woggle, she probably likes me even more now that i've jettisoned her out of my life

 

Definitely. Next time, slap her in the face and pull her hair. She'll find you irresistible after that.

[alphamale]

Definitely. Next time, slap her in the face and pull her hair. She'll find you irresistible after that.

no, i practice more emotional violence. physical violence is verboten

[SarahRose]

So that brings us back to the original question...

 

Why did you continue to date her if you didn't like her?

 

I honestly think you're anger stems from the fact that she didn't sleep with you, and she called you out on it.

 

And it bothers you that she might possibly tell other people that was most likely the reason you chose to end things with her.

 

But you've said yourself, you're not a "nice guy", and if that's true...then why do you even care at this point?

 

This is why he dumped her because she didn't put out after 6 dates and he was ticked off he didn't get any rewards for his attempts to get her into bed.

[Brielle1]

"Behind every crazy woman is a man who made her that way."

[lofi_tokyo]

well i have reason to suspect that this woman i dumped by text last week is spreading rumours and bad mouthing me to other people, especially to other women in our group. shes is saying things like i'm mean and an ass----- who treats womens like crap

 

of course this will probably get me more dates - but why would she do this?

 

i haven't said anything about her to anyone

 

I haven't read the whole thread but I've gotta say:

I've been that girl! Sort of. I didn't want to be gossipy or rumour spreading, but I was definitely hurt, and I was worried the guy would talk about me first. So I told my female friends (that didn't know the guy) about the dumb things he DID do. Making fun of him a little bit made me feel better. With regards to people him and I both knew - if someone asked, I'd give a very brief summary of what happened and I'd try to keep it neutral.

 

Anyways, I later found out he - much you like alpha - hadn't said anything to anyone. I felt pretty crummy about being so open about what had happened between us at that point. I never set out to make the guy look bad, but I figured I may as well be honest about our issues in case HE was talking.

 

So! To answer your question:

-The girl probably bitches to her friends to make herself feel better. Bitching to people you both know is in bad taste, but maybe those are the only friends she's got, who knows.

-She may be saying things for fear that you're going to talk about her flaws first. So she's trying to be open about what happened to appear strong.