britchick Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I joined Dating Direct and yes there are a lot of rough blokes who you wouldn't touch with a bargepole BUT I met my boyfriend on there and he was my first date, within two days of joining. I would ignore the photos initially and see if you are drawn to the profiles. Someone who LOOKS attractive can be pretty UNattractive personalitywise when you actually get to meet them. Some of the guys I spoke to I would have met up with even though they weren't particularly my 'type, just because they sounded interesting/intelligent. Lets face it your whole view of what someone looks like can change once you get to know them. However, if you are just looking to get laid, (please phone.....078...no, just kidding) perhaps dating sites aren't the place to look! By the way, my boyfriend is goodlooking and that put me off, I thought he would be an arrogant player. So there you go! Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 You and every other guy online. Ladies, online dating is a lost cause, married or otherwise taken men, losers, old guys and guys who only want to get laid. What a dream! IDK, I'm still dating the one I met on Match.com 9 months ago. No sign of slowing down either. Online dating doesn't always work out but it's worth trying at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny M Posted March 5, 2010 Author Share Posted March 5, 2010 I joined Dating Direct and yes there are a lot of rough blokes who you wouldn't touch with a bargepole BUT I met my boyfriend on there and he was my first date, within two days of joining. I would ignore the photos initially and see if you are drawn to the profiles. Someone who LOOKS attractive can be pretty UNattractive personalitywise when you actually get to meet them. Some of the guys I spoke to I would have met up with even though they weren't particularly my 'type, just because they sounded interesting/intelligent. Lets face it your whole view of what someone looks like can change once you get to know them. However, if you are just looking to get laid, (please phone.....078...no, just kidding) perhaps dating sites aren't the place to look! By the way, my boyfriend is goodlooking and that put me off, I thought he would be an arrogant player. So there you go! I'm sorry, but I couldn't help chuckling after regarding this post. Some of the guys you spoke to online you would have met in real life because they had great personalities, even though they weren't "your type" (translation: they weren't attractive)? Really?? So how come you haven't actually met them? Instead, your first date was with a guy who you thought was a player, which, as you claim "put you off" (but of course, he was attractive). And you are telling me that looks are not the most important criteria? This is too much Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 As with anything else, the pool varies. I've seen some unattractive women and men on there. I've also seen a few hotties. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Instead, your first date was with a guy who you thought was a player, which, as you claim "put you off" (but of course, he was attractive). Johnny, we both know it's SOP to risk the devil you're attracted to, whether it be a new thing or remaining in an old thing. Whether it's healthy or not, IDK. I used to look upon this philosophy with disdain, but now rather see it as a point of incompatibility. That person would never be a compatible potential, so why fret? They have their path. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny M Posted March 5, 2010 Author Share Posted March 5, 2010 Johnny, we both know it's SOP to risk the devil you're attracted to, whether it be a new thing or remaining in an old thing. Oh, I know. I'm just laughing at how obviously two-faced and hypocritical the above post was. Link to post Share on other sites
zebracolors Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Maybe. Woo! *first in line* One other thing about the dating sites that I've observed, is that they rely heavily on initial visual attractiveness. Of course, the only one I've had any experience with was PoF, though Ive deleted my account there. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with initial visual attraction. After all in a social setting, someone's appearance is usually the first thing that is noticed. Dating sites that have you place a picture of yourself up is sort of the same thing. Except that it would not surprise me if a majority of the people with profiles, who get PMs, do actually filter out or ignore the ones from those that don't fit their idea of visually "attractive", never mind that that person could maybe be a great match, good in bed and fun to be around. I suppose I am a little different though, in that lately for me its been intellectual conversation, and similar activity, views on certain issues and interests, that have attracted me to someone. And all before I see what the other even looks like, or they me. And I'm fine with that. I actually like being able to have a conversation with my love interest, and like being able to talk about similar interests, and also feel comfortable being silly around them. Not to say you can't meet someone like that on a dating site. It's always likely. But on the other end, someone's strong attractive visual appearance can be intimidating to some, and I mean this towards both men and women. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I don't think people are saying only ugly people are online, but the vast majority are rejects one way or another. Maybe chronic online daters are rejects in one way or the other, but I'd hardly call myself a reject for trying online dating. I wanted to meet a group of guys that normally wouldn't cross my path. Link to post Share on other sites
annxxdisaster Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 The men that are on there are even worse. My roommate likes to meet random dudes from the internet all the time, and I'd have to say...because of the pool of guys I've seen cycled through her door, I am really skeptical of meeting anyone via a dating site. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 There is a saying about fate and expectations, but I can't quite remember how it goes Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Magnet Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 There is a saying about fate and expectations, but I can't quite remember how it goes Granted, I have no idea what on earth this saying is. But my BF and I often wonder if "fate" brought us together and if we even believe in that. We're too perfect for each other. It's almost scary. And going online was a weird fluke for both of us. His mother drug him to the computer one day and said sign up and I'll pay, I did it on a whim with a friend. We often wonder if we hadn't met online if life would have thrown us in each other's path some other way. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 We often wonder if we hadn't met online if life would have thrown us in each other's path some other way. Definitely not. By chance you met each other online, you wouldnt have met any other way. But...some people depend on romantic nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I'm sorry, but I couldn't help chuckling after regarding this post. Some of the guys you spoke to online you would have met in real life because they had great personalities, even though they weren't "your type" (translation: they weren't attractive)? Really?? So how come you haven't actually met them? Instead, your first date was with a guy who you thought was a player, which, as you claim "put you off" (but of course, he was attractive). And you are telling me that looks are not the most important criteria? This is too much I read it multiple times, your assessment seems to be accurate. That was alot of words but the same old same old. Attractive guys > personality guys, I learned nothing from that . Oh wait, yes I did, back to gym! Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Woo! *first in line* One other thing about the dating sites that I've observed, is that they rely heavily on initial visual attractiveness. Of course, the only one I've had any experience with was PoF, though Ive deleted my account there. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with initial visual attraction. After all in a social setting, someone's appearance is usually the first thing that is noticed. Dating sites that have you place a picture of yourself up is sort of the same thing. Except that it would not surprise me if a majority of the people with profiles, who get PMs, do actually filter out or ignore the ones from those that don't fit their idea of visually "attractive", never mind that that person could maybe be a great match, good in bed and fun to be around. I suppose I am a little different though, in that lately for me its been intellectual conversation, and similar activity, views on certain issues and interests, that have attracted me to someone. And all before I see what the other even looks like, or they me. And I'm fine with that. I actually like being able to have a conversation with my love interest, and like being able to talk about similar interests, and also feel comfortable being silly around them. Not to say you can't meet someone like that on a dating site. It's always likely. But on the other end, someone's strong attractive visual appearance can be intimidating to some, and I mean this towards both men and women. Wouldn't you at least need to be a bit physically attracted to them for it to work though? Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I read it multiple times, your assessment seems to be accurate. That was alot of words but the same old same old. Attractive guys > personality guys, I learned nothing from that . Oh wait, yes I did, back to gym! If I don't find a guy physically attractive, even if he'd be highly compatible with me otherwise, I don't bother putting him in my dating radar. Being online, if the pictures I see don't appeal to me, I don't look at anything else--it's on to the next. However, if I do find someone attractive, I look at the rest of their profile and if it doesn't seem like they'd be compatible with me, again it's on to the next. I'd be lying if I said that physical attraction wasn't the first thing I pay heed to. Though everyone, of course, has varying opinions on what they find physically attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 I don't think people are saying only ugly people are online, but the vast majority are rejects one way or another. I'm sure Johnny is glad to see your views on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny M Posted March 5, 2010 Author Share Posted March 5, 2010 I'm sure Johnny is glad to see your views on this. I see I have a new stalker. This is what happens when you let women out of the kitchen Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 (edited) I see I have a new stalker. This is what happens when you let women out of the kitchen See! Online dating DOES work. LMAO!!! No - seriously - it's like a train wreck. You don't really WANT to look but can't help yourself. I LOVE being in the kitchen. I bake a MEAN homemade pie! Edited March 5, 2010 by donnamaybe Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 See! Online dating DOES work. LMAO!!! No - seriously - it's like a train wreck. You don't really WANT to look but can't help yourself. I LOVE being in the kitchen. I bake a MEAN homemade pie! If you can cook anything spicy, im coming looking for you! Link to post Share on other sites
zebracolors Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 Wouldn't you at least need to be a bit physically attracted to them for it to work though? Well, granted that does help, maybe for most people. And I have a clear idea what I find visually attractive in a man. But it wasn't that way for my "wayward" Brit at the start. All I had was his voice at first, and conversation,(Ventrillo,Skype) but some of our best conversations were also online in text. I did eventually get to see what he looked like, and I sent him pics of myself and it didn't change anything about the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 5, 2010 Share Posted March 5, 2010 If you can cook anything spicy, im coming looking for you! I LOVE spicy food. I make awesome chicken fajita burritos, and I have this recipe (though not authentic Mexican) for chicken enchiladas that is to DIE for! No, seriously, there are decent people and not so decent people on the sites, just as there are IRL. Keep looking, Johnny. You may be surprised! Link to post Share on other sites
Barky Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 (edited) 24 women in 2 years? Isn't that promiscuous? Do you have self-esteem issues or something? For me about 20 in about 6 years. Some slow years, some very fast years. I think the "issue" I may have is that I like to bang lots of women. Edited March 6, 2010 by Barky Link to post Share on other sites
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