Anger

[carhill]

To the extent that anger causes introspection to examine the impetus, the hurt, I believe it is healthy. If it can be expressed constructively within a relationship and the impetus resolved and/or compromised upon, I think it can be healthy for that relationship.

 

Violent, disassociative anger, OTOH, IMO, is *not* healthy nor accomplishes any substantive purpose in life. It damages everyone, including the person wielding it.

[threebyfate]

Thanks everyone for your input. It's cool to see people discussing the topic since it's such a layered emotion!

 

From the discussion, I get the impression that people aren't oversimplifying it by recommending that people suppress or repress it. To be angry is to be alive where it's an emotion that not only human beings experience, but many animals do too. So how can this emotion be unnatural? If anything, it's unnatural to suppress it.

 

I've got a lot more personal theory to throw into this but I'll put it in, when others have given more input.

[Ronni_W]

I agree with whomever said there is anger of both the constructive and destructive kind. Sometimes it's necessary: when enough people get pissed off enough at whatever injustice (Apartheid, for example), positive change will eventually happen.

IMO, any emotion can be distorted and expressed dysfunctionally -- smothering "love" is ultimately no less damaging than destructive anger, IMO.

 

There's a member who is currently using this for a sig -- sorry I don't recall who it is -- I read it yesterday and I liked it a lot:

"Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy." ~ Aristotle (384-322 BC) - Greek philosopher

[Explorer]

Another thread made me think of this topic. Do you feel anger is a healthy emotion? If so or not, why or why not?

 

Without the negative (Anger) emotions, we wouldn't know what was positive (Love)

[RedDevil66]

Every "God" given emotion, whether it be guilt, fear, love, anger etc is a survival technique.

 

Anger is certainly constructive and has been for me on many occasions.

 

It's the ego that manifests anger and this is when it becomes destructive and no longer a survival technique.

 

Animals need to get angry in order to survive, but since animals don't have egos, they don't carry the anger with them after lets say someone steals their food of kills their young.

 

Anger is not a manifestation of fear since fear is also a survival emotion. They are parallel emotions.

Anger is not any manifestation.

[threebyfate]

I agree with whomever said there is anger of both the constructive and destructive kind. Sometimes it's necessary: when enough people get pissed off enough at whatever injustice (Apartheid, for example), positive change will eventually happen.

IMO, any emotion can be distorted and expressed dysfunctionally -- smothering "love" is ultimately no less damaging than destructive anger, IMO.

Good lord, get out of my brain!

[wuggle]

but many animals do too. So how can this emotion be unnatural? If anything, it's unnatural to suppress it.

 

Animals do many things that we as intelligent humans should try to transcend. Whilst anger is perfectly natural, so is defecating whereever we want, murder, theft, lying etc. Just because anger is natural it is one of the most destructive of emotions, when someone is angry they do not think things through, logically, calmly, intelligently. It leads usually leads to destruction and regret

 

As a human being I aspire to transcend my animalistic instincts (well most of them ) , as part of a civilised species we all should do our best to suppress it.

[alphamale]

As a human being I aspire to transcend my animalistic instincts (well most of them ) , as part of a civilised species we all should do our best to suppress it.

you are an animal ergo you cannot "transcend" that

[threebyfate]

I've personally found anger to be a really useful emotion, as long as I'm able to ride the tiger, rather than allowing it to dictate actions.

 

When it's properly harnessed, holy dinah, can it ever get the job done!

[alphamale]

I've personally found anger to be a really useful emotion, ...

me too, it really works wonders when directed at others

[threebyfate]

me too, it really works wonders when directed at others

When do you use it? Is it often?

[Odyssey]

Ditto TBF. I find anger more 'motivating' than being a sad loser anyway.

[alphamale]

When do you use it? Is it often?

it takes a lot to get me angry so i use it sparingly. i particulary enjoy letting loose on people in a group setting. like totally embarrasing them in front of others. its very liberating.

 

but i always give warnings before i blow my top. if they continue the bad behaviour then they get it

[threebyfate]

it takes a lot to get me angry so i use it sparingly. i particulary enjoy letting loose on people in a group setting. like totally embarrasing them in front of others. its very liberating.

 

but i always give warnings before i blow my top. if they continue the bad behaviour then they get it

 

Ditto TBF. I find anger more 'motivating' than being a sad loser anyway.

I use it similar to Odyssey, to get over someone or to push me further, towards an end-goal, like career drive.

 

The only time I've ever used focused anger on people, is with the ex-H and the OW. Beyond that, it's not been worth the expenditure of energy, or the negative impact to self.

[alphamale]

The only time I've ever used focused anger on people, is with the ex-H and the OW. Beyond that, it's not been worth the expenditure of energy, or the negative impact to self.

its always funny how when you use focused anger on a particular person they all of a sudden start singing a different tune and percieve you differently

[threebyfate]

its always funny how when you use focused anger on a particular person they all of a sudden start singing a different tune and percieve you differently

I've personally experienced petty anger and resentment focused on me. It didn't make me respect them one bit. If anything, it made me want to distance myself. The word "psycho" comes to mind.

[wuggle]

you are an animal ergo you cannot "transcend" that

 

I can, I do and I will

[Trimmer]

Anger...it is neither a right or wrong feeling. When we're angry, we are trying to tell ourselves something is/was wrong! In other words, its a way of alerting you that another emotion... fear or frustration is in effect.

I would go with this, and I make a very clear distinction between the feeling of anger (which is an undeniably real emotional response to some stimuli) and our reactions to it - how we "handle" it.

 

The anger itself - like any emotion - is a fact of life. Whether it can be "healthy" or otherwise, I believe to be completely a function of what we do with it. Suppress it, deny it, express it in some form to release and relax it, use it as an engine of self-revelation, use it as an engine toward action.... These are the paths that have healthy or unhealthy effects on us and those around us.

[threebyfate]

That's a good way to put it, Trimmer. Thanks for your input.

[D-Lish]

I think anger is a natural, healthy emotion- it's what you do with that anger that defines you.

 

I've had to learn how to manage my anger over the years- both professionally and personally. I've allowed it to be a destructive emotion in the past, but in the past 10 years or so, I have learned to break it down and manage it much better.

 

I no longer make decisions when angry, and I now walk away and think things through before being reactionary.

 

You can't really control how you feel- but you can control how you react to your feelings- that's what makes the anger itself a good or bad thing.

[alphamale]

i like to be angry especially if its well justified

[threebyfate]

I think anger is a natural, healthy emotion- it's what you do with that anger that defines you.

 

I've had to learn how to manage my anger over the years- both professionally and personally. I've allowed it to be a destructive emotion in the past, but in the past 10 years or so, I have learned to break it down and manage it much better.

 

I no longer make decisions when angry, and I now walk away and think things through before being reactionary.

 

You can't really control how you feel- but you can control how you react to your feelings- that's what makes the anger itself a good or bad thing.

This is a lifelong learning experience, of what's destructive to self and what's not. When I used focused anger on the ex-H and OW, it destroyed a part of me, something that's since come back, albeit slowly but it's come back.

[blind_otter]

What I am learning is that all emotions serve a purpose, but you have to learn how to identify and interpret them correctly.

 

Also I have learned not to act from the energy supplied by the emotion. I have to wait for that energy to pass through me, and then I can think more clearly.

 

But I am still learning how to do that. It's a process...

[D-Lish]

This is a lifelong learning experience, of what's destructive to self and what's not. When I used focused anger on the ex-H and OW, it destroyed a part of me, something that's since come back, albeit slowly but it's come back.

 

I did it too:o Although, I see that anger as a justified response to what you (and I) went through. It was appropriate to vent that anger in those directions- at that particular time, in response to that situation. The problem is that nobody can hold onto that anger without suffering personal consequences as a result.

 

As I've told you before, I became a little bitter, and that affected new relationships, it was reflected in my daily interactions with others, and my work also suffered. That's when I knew my anger went from being healthy, to being destructive.

 

It does destroy a part of you, and it changes you- if you allow it.

 

Unlike you, I've never quite been able to pull it together enough to trust anyone again. I forgave (which totally helped me)- but I think to take it to the next level and get past it- I need to learn how to trust.

 

What is going on that is having you revisit this old demon?

[threebyfate]

I did it too:o Although, I see that anger as a justified response to what you (and I) went through. It was appropriate to vent that anger in those directions- at that particular time, in response to that situation. The problem is that nobody can hold onto that anger without suffering personal consequences as a result.

 

As I've told you before, I became a little bitter, and that affected new relationships, it was reflected in my daily interactions with others, and my work also suffered. That's when I knew my anger went from being healthy, to being destructive.

 

It does destroy a part of you, and it changes you- if you allow it.

 

Unlike you, I've never quite been able to pull it together enough to trust anyone again. I forgave (which totally helped me)- but I think to take it to the next level and get past it- I need to learn how to trust.

D, you're one of the good ones, someone who's got heart and smarts combined. Part of that journey to learning how to trust again, is also, finding someone worth trusting. I have no doubt that you'll get there, when you're ready.

 

What is going on that is having you revisit this old demon?

Nothing really, beyond another thread that mentioned anger and how it's viewed. Anger is a fascinating emotion to me. The strength of it, can move mountains.