Anger

[threebyfate]

Another thread made me think of this topic. Do you feel anger is a healthy emotion? If so or not, why or why not?

[TouchedByViolet]

I think it is ok to get angry but not ok to stay angry.

Some people feel angry a lot and it makes them an angry person where some people get angry rarely and so it temporary. Temporary anger can be good or bad depending on if you can direct the anger to fix the problem and/or improve yourself.

[threebyfate]

Thanks for your input, Violet.

 

Anyone else want to take a run at this?

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Ithink it depends on how a person handles the emotion. I don't deal with anger well because as a child I never experienced it and had no tools to handle it. I was an adult before I experienced it.

I think the way anger manifests itself can be unhealthy unless an individual has a healthy coping mechanism. I also don't handle other peoples anger wellbecause I rarely had to deal with that either. I remember coming home from a slumber party because the parent had an ugly fight with the brother of my friend. Probably everyday stuff for them but it freaked me out, I didn't feel safe, and called my mom to come get me.

[TaraMaiden]

This is the only Anger The Buddha recommends:

The Killing of Anger.

it is known to be the most destructive of emotions, and is said to be like a person grasping a burning coal to throw at somebody - it will always burn the 'thrower' first....

 

"Hatred (which is a by-product of Anger) never ceases through Hatred, but by Love alone.

This is the ancient and eternal Law."

It has been proven, time and time again, that warring and attempting to conquer rival factions produces nothing but graves and coffins.

And historically, time and time again, ultimately, people have had to resort finally, to coming round the table, talking, discussing and negotiating.

It never fais to happen.

And it never fails to work.

And war always fails.

[threebyfate]

Thanks for your input, IWWH and TM.

 

Anyone else want to take a run at it?

 

As you're probably aware, I also have an opinion (surprise, surprise ) but am waiting to give other people their chance at expressing themselves.

[laRubiaBonita]

yes, anger is healthy. but like IWWH stated how one handles the feeling and if they hold the grudge is what can make it seem unhealthy.

 

IMO i think it is worse to have no affect at all, to not get angry even if something does anger you.

[TaraMaiden]

Ithink it depends on how a person handles the emotion. I don't deal with anger well because as a child I never experienced it and had no tools to handle it. I was an adult before I experienced it.

I think the way anger manifests itself can be unhealthy unless an individual has a healthy coping mechanism. I also don't handle other peoples anger well because I rarely had to deal with that either. I remember coming home from a slumber party because the parent had an ugly fight with the brother of my friend. Probably everyday stuff for them but it freaked me out, I didn't feel safe, and called my mom to come get me.

 

IWWH, Could you illustrate to me what you feel a "Healthy coping mechanism" would be, with regard to handling this emotion?

 

I consider this a pertinent point of discussion, but if this sounds too much like a threadjack, I'm happy to begin a different/new thread, TbF.....

[donnamaybe]

We are always going to have emotions. Stifling natural emotions is unhealthy, IMO, but wallowing in them is too.

[TaraMaiden]

yes, anger is healthy. but like IWWH stated how one handles the feeling and if they hold the grudge is what can make it seem unhealthy.

 

IMO i think it is worse to have no affect at all, to not get angry even if something does anger you.

 

Pardon me... if I may say so, your last comment doesn't make sense, strictly speaking....If something doesn't Anger you - then you're not going to get angry.

 

People can suppress anger, which is counter-productive, because a valve will blow at one point or an other... pressure builds and the steam will out....

 

Or people can pretend to not be angry. But they're still angry.....

 

But if you do not permit Anger to manifest, it need not mean that you are passive and inactive.

you are merely in control, and channelling emotion in a constructive way.

[threebyfate]

Thanks for your input LRB.

 

TM, no worries about challenging beliefs, as long as challenge is done in a respectful manner. This thread is open for discussion, not just stating beliefs. But thanks for asking.

[melodymatters]

I've always liked the quote that " Depression is anger turned inwards.

 

When I was young and a 'good girl", I held in negative emotions and eventually ended up wounding myself in a bunch of different ways .( anorexia, substance abuse, etc)

 

When I learned to express my anger, albiet calmly and rationally, I became a much healtheir person.

 

Anger in itself is a natural emotion, it's how one deals with it that matters.

[laRubiaBonita]

Pardon me... if I may say so, your last comment doesn't make sense, strictly speaking....If something doesn't Anger you - then you're not going to get angry.

 

People can suppress anger, which is counter-productive, because a valve will blow at one point or an other... pressure builds and the steam will out....

 

Or people can pretend to not be angry. But they're still angry.....

 

But if you do not permit Anger to manifest, it need not mean that you are passive and inactive.

you are merely in control, and channelling emotion in a constructive way.

 

like if a person has become unemotional to all emotions- not just anger.

[threebyfate]

Thanks for your input, mel.

 

Anyone else have an opinion?

[donnamaybe]

You're welcome!

[TaraMaiden]

like if a person has become unemotional to all emotions- not just anger.

 

I see your point, but I don't think I've ever actually come across anyone like that - and if I did, I would suspect they had a personality disorder....

 

Have you ever met anyone who is like this, in all emotions?

[laRubiaBonita]

I see your point, but I don't think I've ever actually come across anyone like that - and if I did, I would suspect they had a personality disorder....

 

Have you ever met anyone who is like this, in all emotions?

 

i have met a few when i was in-patient... and one could pressume they did have a PD of some sort... seeing as how we were on the psych floor.

 

but they were totally impassive to everything, even pain. i think they had built such a wall against everything that they had some sort of disconnect.

 

eventually one chic started to "feel" and actually the first emotions she had were anger and resentment.

[Kasan]

But if you do not permit Anger to manifest, it need not mean that you are passive and inactive. you are merely in control, and channelling emotion in a constructive way.

 

I wonder about this last statement Tara.

 

I'm pretty angry right now, and in fact, my anger is most likely the only possible way I can function right now.

 

Perhaps it is constructive, as I suspect if I were to lose my anger right now, I would crack in half.

 

Perhaps anger is a mechanism to protect the psyche from immense pain until we are ready to deal with it.

[alphamale]

Another thread made me think of this topic. Do you feel anger is a healthy emotion? If so or not, why or why not?

it is very healthy in the right context

[freestyle]

I'm probably going to echo what's already been said here...

 

I do believe it's a natural reaction in many situations, whether it's directed

at one's self or at outside partries.

 

Whether or not it's healthy ,depends on how it's channeled and/or expressed.

 

I don't believe emotions are right or wrong--they simply are.

 

Personally, I've had more trouble with repressing (and expressing) anger--it's something I need to work on.............

 

I heard a saying recently that struck a chord with me---similar to Taramaiden's analogy about the hot coal....

 

"Resentment is like acid.....it does more damage to the vessel containing it, then it does to it's intended target........"

[TaraMaiden]

I wonder about this last statement Tara.

 

I'm pretty angry right now, and in fact, my anger is most likely the only possible way I can function right now.

 

Perhaps it is constructive, as I suspect if I were to lose my anger right now, I would crack in half.

 

Perhaps anger is a mechanism to protect the psyche from immense pain until we are ready to deal with it.

 

*Thus have I heard*:

Anger is a manifestation of fear:

it is sometimes so heavily covered or concealed, that it is not recognisable as fear, but there is a basic fear of something.

The way to diffuse and be in charge of what ails you, is to seek the seat of Fear.

PM me if you want.

We can discuss something should you wish to....

Don't want to go off-topic.

[Ross PK]

I wouldn't say never being angry is unhealthy, but it would be odd.

 

I'd say always holding your anger in whenever you feel angry is unhealthy.

[TaraMaiden]

i have met a few when i was in-patient... and one could pressume they did have a PD of some sort... seeing as how we were on the psych floor.

 

but they were totally impassive to everything, even pain. i think they had built such a wall against everything that they had some sort of disconnect.

 

eventually one chic started to "feel" and actually the first emotions she had were anger and resentment.

Anger and Resentment are the first emotions to manifest after a period of grieving, too...

we see it a lot on here when people are getting through grief of a break-up. I've known many people be angry with the dead person after a bereavement, as well...

it's a rage, an indignation...

[melodymatters]

I wonder about this last statement Tara.

 

I'm pretty angry right now, and in fact, my anger is most likely the only possible way I can function right now.

 

Perhaps it is constructive, as I suspect if I were to lose my anger right now, I would crack in half.

 

Perhaps anger is a mechanism to protect the psyche from immense pain until we are ready to deal with it.

 

 

I could not agree MORE ! When my husband died suddenly, I wrote a letter to the person who through his negligence contributed to his death. People advised against it, but it helped ME.

 

Then his aunt, whom I had never met, started a myspace page blaming ME for his death. ( I wasn't even there, and had been taking care of him and supporting him through his illness single handedly) I let LOOSE on that crazy b*tch, and that too was a release, a purge, a distraction. I did not start that battle but I was damn sure willing to finish it !

[Odyssey]

Anger...it is neither a right or wrong feeling. When we're angry, we are trying to tell ourselves something is/was wrong! In other words, its a way of alerting you that another emotion... fear or frustration is in effect.

 

Those that keep their anger brewing inside can be destructive though. When something triggers the anger the response is often an over-reaction, or worst, aimed at someone else, that have nothing to do with it. So it’s important to have an outlet for anger.