Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Don't respond!!! Come on!! You can do this! Shut off your phone for tonight! Hang in there! I won't text if you won't! Remember...we're NC buddies!? Yes! NC buddies! I won't text, and you had better not text either!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 I know you are all right... I am sitting here crying but I am strong. I can't let him back in. He tore my heart out without anesthesia :/ In the blink of an eye... I will get through this night. I will not answer him. And tomorrow is a new day. I will not answer him then, either. Let him hurt and wonder and worry and fret, just like I have for the better part of 10 months now. I am going to go to bed now so I will not be tempted. Sleep is my friend... Good night, everyone. I figure you're not ready yet, but seriously (PLEASE) consider changing your cell number. Even though you haven't contacted him back, you're tempted. It's killing you, reading what he is saying. WHY do this to yourself? Just take the bull by the horns and change the number. If you can't or won't do that, then every time he texts you, you're gonna feel like crap and be tempted... Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Yes! NC buddies! I won't text, and you had better not text either!!! Nope! I won't either!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Thanks jennie-jennie. Yeah I think this is about the 15th time and thats no exaggeration. I know she's having just as much of a hard time as I am. I've come to the resolution that she's not ever going to do anything different. I'm trying really hard to create some distance and some resistance in all of this and then I can figure out what I'm going to do about my M in a much more socially acceptable manner. The distance and resistance is what is killing me!! 15th time! Wow! One was more than enough for us. I was wondering about your marriage. Good to see that you are planning to put effort into figuring that out. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 (edited) Miss very time you think you want to text, remember that he is not unique. He was to you at one time, but his behavior is not unique. Noone wants to believe when they are in the throes of trying to come to grips with NC that the situation is what it is, the part of you that wants to text is saying of course its ok to text him back its him. But its not. It doesnt change anything. It just puts the cycle of drama back in place. And as WWIU said he may continue to contact you for some time thinking that eventually he will break down your resistance and he will get a response. Its an awful thing to go through and something that single men dont do. With most single men once its over its over. If you rebuff an attempt or two they get the message. Not so in many of the MM/OW situations. I know I have dealt with the aftermath for years. And while it gets easier over time, it still stings a bit. But nothing like it did before. I just want to say I think you are amazing. Just look at how far you have come in just a few weeks. Edited February 12, 2010 by jj33 Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Let is know how your night went. I hope you slept well and I hope you're sorrow is less today. A lot of wonderful people in here are routing for you Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Hey IMTK, So do we have the beginnings of day 3? Mine is day 3.5 and I'm holding it together so far. 9 hours and 15 minutes and I'll have day 4 scratched off. How are you doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha0905 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Don't go on meds unless you have to. Start doing yoga and deep breathing. Exercise (walk briskly everyday) and also keep track of what you eat. Too much sugar, caffeine can make it worse. Another thing, keep a daily journal going, write your feelings and thoughts down, getting it out really helps. My anxiety was all about fears of the future and death. I ended up going to talk to someone about it and along the way learned alot about me, learned how to deal and cope with anxiety. Do (CBT - Cognitive behaviour therapy) if you find the anxiety is taking over. Ditto. I don't know about everyone as I imagine meds may help some people -- but the one time I was on an antidepressant (about three months), it was a horrible experience. BAD! I don't think I'll ever get near them again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Hi everyone I'm still here... NC... I didn't respond last night, got another "hello?" text and that was it. Now that the weekend is coming I will probably get more, trying to see if I am on a date or something. But he will get no reply from me I spent the morning at some school functions with my girls, and I felt great! Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 I would think that reminding yourself of the things he did to you would be enough to not want to contact him. If that's not enough, then think how bad you'll feel if you start talking to him again, then sleeping with him, and then he does it again. You won't be able to say he blindsided you. You know exactly what he'll do next time around. That alone would sober me up. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused4Now Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Hi everyone I'm still here... NC... I didn't respond last night, got another "hello?" text and that was it. Now that the weekend is coming I will probably get more, trying to see if I am on a date or something. But he will get no reply from me I spent the morning at some school functions with my girls, and I felt great! Please don't....I was where you were at last year and I went almost 80 days of NC. Till she pulled me back in to do nothing the rest of the year. I promised myself I would never feel like that again. Trust me it gets easier and easier each time you initiate NC. It wouldn't even bother me to not hear from her for a week. Like I said....I have a life now and I keep very busy. I'm liking NO DRAMA...... Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 KIss: that is great. The more away time you have, the more perspective you can get from this abuse. You're doing GREAT.......keep it up and post all weekend if you have to. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Yay I Miss The Kiss. NC NC NC!!!!! I love it. You were so strong. You took your power back. Don't ever let him have that again. He is getting what he deserves now. Good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 (edited) Hi everyone I'm still here... NC... I didn't respond last night, got another "hello?" text and that was it. Now that the weekend is coming I will probably get more, trying to see if I am on a date or something. But he will get no reply from me I spent the morning at some school functions with my girls, and I felt great! HEY!! YES!!! You're doing great! Good for you! I'm holding my own too. 6 more hours and day 4 is off the list! I'm going a little nuts though today so I think I'll sneak out of work early and find something to take my mind off things! Way to go IMTK! I'm proud of you! I'm chanting "FO!" "FRO"!!! Edited February 12, 2010 by WhereToGoFromHere Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 HEY!! YES!!! You're doing great! Good for you! I'm holding my own too. 6 more hours and day 4 is off the list! I'm going a little nuts though today so I think I'll sneak out of work early and find something to take my mind off things! Way to go IMTK! I'm proud of you! I'm chanting "FO!" "FRO"!!! Yay us! And everyone else here who is suffering (or not suffering) through NC! I'm feel quite satisfied with myself for staying strong, and even a little bit for giving him a teeny tiny glimpse into what it feels like to be me... I will say that he is completely freaked about the idea of me going out with someone else. If I were talking to him (which I'm not), I would say, "WTF do you expect me to do?!" I'm still shocked he would even have the cajones to ask me such a thing... so weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Ok, as soon as I posted just above, literally that same second I got an email from him! AHHHHHHHHHH It simply said, "Hi, date tonight? :/" So he didn't get me on a text, let's try email... This is getting fun now You all know how much h*ll he has put me through, so this is just a fun little mind game for me now. I didn't set out to play mind games with him, though. He's the one who broke NC, he is the one asking these stupid questions... I'm gonna play along. But I'm playing along by not responding at all, which is the best medicine for him. I LOVE NC!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 a$$hat.... Ok, as soon as I posted just above, literally that same second I got an email from him! AHHHHHHHHHH It simply said, "Hi, date tonight? :/" So he didn't get me on a text, let's try email... This is getting fun now You all know how much h*ll he has put me through, so this is just a fun little mind game for me now. I didn't set out to play mind games with him, though. He's the one who broke NC, he is the one asking these stupid questions... I'm gonna play along. But I'm playing along by not responding at all, which is the best medicine for him. I LOVE NC!!!! :lmao::lmao:Sounds like he is obsessing:lmao::lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 :lmao::lmao:Sounds like he is obsessing:lmao::lmao: Yes, finally its not me who is doing the obsessing Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Heck IMTK, I'm even starting to have fun with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 Heck IMTK, I'm even starting to have fun with this. I should start taking bets and make some quick cash LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Yes, finally its not me who is doing the obsessing Yeah, it's never the intention to play head games, but they seem to do it all by themselves. And it does get entertaining. I always say that if you don't say anything, their own worst fears will take over. It's like they do all the work for you. What total arrogance to ask about dating someone. He just knocked you out of the park with spectacular pain and betrayal....and he expects you to sit around and pine over him? OMG, such arrogance. Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 While its fun to torture , I have to bring it back down to earth. We're supposed to be doing NC for our own sanity, not for punishing them. That's supposed to be just a bonus! Eventually if this goes right, we won't hear any more from them. Thats when we'll need to stand on our own. Day 4 completed! Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 While its fun to torture , I have to bring it back down to earth. We're supposed to be doing NC for our own sanity, not for punishing them. That's supposed to be just a bonus! Eventually if this goes right, we won't hear any more from them. Thats when we'll need to stand on our own. Day 4 completed! Very True. I will be 7 months NC next month standing on my own just fine. No word from XOM and that is the way I like it. Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Very True. I will be 7 months NC next month standing on my own just fine. No word from XOM and that is the way I like it. Good for you LD While that length of time is huge compared to us, I hope eventually we will get there too. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 IMTK, You didn't answer the question about getting a new cell number.... come on, answer it. Are you willing to do that? Or do you not want to do that? And don't use the excuse of having to give the number out to people and that being a hassle. Be upfront and honest with us. As for the email -- set a rule on your computer - each time he sends an email, it will go to the trash. He has a lot of freaking nerve to try to suck you back in after what he did. My God, you went inpatient because of what he did to you. Don't you dare forget that. Concentrate on your girls. DO NOT respond to him in anyway. He has NO RIGHT to know YOUR personal business. Focus - center yourself and FLIP THE MIDDLE FINGER!!! WTGFH -- how are you doing? Hanging in there? How many middle fingers did you give today? You guys want a nickname? How about The Survivors? TS for short Because that is what you guys are -- survivors. You will get through this -- keep going as you are - NO CONTACT and NO responding to texts, emails or calls. Link to post Share on other sites
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