WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Don't go on meds unless you have to. Start doing yoga and deep breathing. Exercise (walk briskly everyday) and also keep track of what you eat. Too much sugar, caffeine can make it worse. Another thing, keep a daily journal going, write your feelings and thoughts down, getting it out really helps. My anxiety was all about fears of the future and death. I ended up going to talk to someone about it and along the way learned alot about me, learned how to deal and cope with anxiety. Do (CBT - Cognitive behaviour therapy) if you find the anxiety is taking over. I'm not normally a person that will do meds, even for a headache. Thats how bad this is! I was thinking that the "F**K OFF!" comment you made in the grocery store might help me. Just scream it out loud when I'm alone in the car or something Both middle fingers and toes!!!!! I'll try that Sorry to jack your thread IMTK, I'll shut up now! Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 I do that too! Cell phone attached to me even in my house! Carry it everywhere even though I don't need to. In my pocket at all times! I've tried just leaving it on my desk at home and walking away from it. I don't get to far, but you're right, every step is progress. I dream of being about to leave the house without it!!! Maybe instead of meds for anxiety a strategically stated F**K OFF! when needed might do the trick! It does suck! Unbeknownst to the world around me, my new silent mantra is "F**K OFF!" hee hee I feel like I'm about 16 years old, acting like this For some reason one of my triggers is when I get in the shower (I have no idea why; I guess there's not much else to think about in there!) Anyway, earlier I got in the shower and of course there he was in my head... So right out loud (I'm home alone) I said loudly, "Oh F off, a-hole!" Then I felt better.... ahhhhhhh Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 11, 2010 Author Share Posted February 11, 2010 I'm not normally a person that will do meds, even for a headache. Thats how bad this is! I was thinking that the "F**K OFF!" comment you made in the grocery store might help me. Just scream it out loud when I'm alone in the car or something Both middle fingers and toes!!!!! I'll try that Sorry to jack your thread IMTK, I'll shut up now! Nah, no thread-jacking taken I love to read others' input on this. I need all the help I can get!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Unbeknownst to the world around me, my new silent mantra is "F**K OFF!" hee hee I feel like I'm about 16 years old, acting like this For some reason one of my triggers is when I get in the shower (I have no idea why; I guess there's not much else to think about in there!) Anyway, earlier I got in the shower and of course there he was in my head... So right out loud (I'm home alone) I said loudly, "Oh F off, a-hole!" Then I felt better.... ahhhhhhh Bring a radio into the bathroom with you, and put on music. It'll keep your mind distracted, plus you can sing in the shower! Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Bring a radio into the bathroom with you, and put on music. It'll keep your mind distracted, plus you can sing in the shower! Good idea! Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1962 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I am finally taking everyone's advice and going NC with the a$$hat. I will admit that I have not changed my cell # yet, but for me, just keeping MYSELF from contacting him is the hardest part! I am sitting here trying to work, to concentrate, but I keep wanting to text or email. Just to see if he got home safely from Florida or whatever. But I KNOW I CAN'T DO IT. Please, someone just remind me that this will be better for me in the end and that every day that passes I will feel better. As a bonus, I might even be giving him a little of his own medicine... disappearing without a word. He deserves it... I feel sick to my stomach I miss him but know he's a sociopath.... I would not focus on the fact of giving him a taste of his own medicine. When you do this, you are admitting to yourself that he still has influence or a bit of control over your life. Instead, try to focus on moving on and yourself. Recognize that this man should be completly out of your life forever and for good reason. You deserves better than this. Keep telling yourself this. Change your cell #. Stay strong, sometimes what's best for us hurts the most. Good luck gal. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Miss you are definitely doing the right thing. Take it from someone who DIDNT do NC for a long time. Not doing it is worse than doing it. The contact feeds the whole thing but gets you nowhere because you are consistently disappointed. The NC is painful because he is such a big part of your life, but if you give yourself 3 months, things will look a lot different. Life has a way of moving on even as you are clinging to the past. One day you wake up and the ache is duller, and then one day, its not there at all. The fog has lifted and you see it differently. You may always hold a special place for that sociopath in your heart, but your heart wont ache when you think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Unbeknownst to the world around me, my new silent mantra is "F**K OFF!" hee hee I feel like I'm about 16 years old, acting like this For some reason one of my triggers is when I get in the shower (I have no idea why; I guess there's not much else to think about in there!) Anyway, earlier I got in the shower and of course there he was in my head... So right out loud (I'm home alone) I said loudly, "Oh F off, a-hole!" Then I felt better.... ahhhhhhh My friend in the UK used this in the phrase "F**K right off!". That's way more definite! I can hear the accent! I'm using it now as I'm going a little nuts right now. Day 3 completes in about 35 minutes. Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 My friend in the UK used this in the phrase "F**K right off!". That's way more definite! I can hear the accent! I'm using it now as I'm going a little nuts right now. Day 3 completes in about 35 minutes. I recognize counting the minutes of NC. Wow, it is so hard. Can't believe you are doing it yet again, WTGFH. Makes no sense that your MW wants to keep trying this over and over again. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 :lmao: LD, I am cracking up over here! I needed to hear that quote!!! You're right (or whoever said it was right)... I am now even more determined to stay NC so he can just get a big ol' F*** YOU!!! hahahaha Texting me all weekend on his little "boys" trip with his dad. What an idiot. I'm so glad I had a chance to slip into our conversation that another firefighter had asked me out, even though I'm not going to go. That's just enough to make him insane, especially if I don't contact him. And NO, I'm not going NC in an attempt to get him to come back. I'm truly not. I'm doing it for ME, and if I can make his stomach feel half as sick as mine does in the meantime, so be it. I was in the hospital, for pity's sake, and all he had to say about it was, "Sorry to hear about the hospital, that makes me sick." AHHHHHHHHe should feel sick because it's his fault you went in there! I love the quote too, keep it up sister. Hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
fooled once Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 IMTK, how are doing??? NWTG - how are YOU doing?? I think it is great you two are going to be NC buddies Each minute you get through, each hour you get through is a huge accomplishment. Keep it up (including the middle finger!!) (((hugs)))) Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 I recognize counting the minutes of NC. Wow, it is so hard. Can't believe you are doing it yet again, WTGFH. Makes no sense that your MW wants to keep trying this over and over again. Thanks jennie-jennie. Yeah I think this is about the 15th time and thats no exaggeration. I know she's having just as much of a hard time as I am. I've come to the resolution that she's not ever going to do anything different. I'm trying really hard to create some distance and some resistance in all of this and then I can figure out what I'm going to do about my M in a much more socially acceptable manner. The distance and resistance is what is killing me!! Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 IMTK, how are doing??? NWTG - how are YOU doing?? I think it is great you two are going to be NC buddies Each minute you get through, each hour you get through is a huge accomplishment. Keep it up (including the middle finger!!) (((hugs)))) NC buddies, that thought still makes me laugh! I can use all the help I can get so count me in! Anyone else want to join in? We'll have to think of a name for our club and maybe a mascott Hmm, maybe a middle finger Day 3 complete. If I can make it through day 4, then 5,6,7 are automatic because of the long weekend. How about you IMTK, did you make it today? Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 NC buddies, that thought still makes me laugh! I can use all the help I can get so count me in! Anyone else want to join in? We'll have to think of a name for our club and maybe a mascott Hmm, maybe a middle finger Day 3 complete. If I can make it through day 4, then 5,6,7 are automatic because of the long weekend. How about you IMTK, did you make it today? Yes, I've made it so far! I must admit *hangs head in shame* that my cell phone is in front of me right now and my texting screen is up.... but I'm NOT going to do it! I'm going to type this reply right now to you and then I'm going to get up and step away from the phone. I'm going to go get a beer out of the fridge, as a matter of fact A little treat for making it through day #2 (well almost, in 40 minutes day #2 will be complete). But I must say, THIS SUCKS. I just put up both of my middle fingers in honor of that narcissistic, sociopathic, lying, cheating, gaslighting, indecisive, self-promoting, selfish, thoughtless, adorable a-hole Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 yes, i've made it so far! I must admit *hangs head in shame* that my cell phone is in front of me right now and my texting screen is up.... But i'm not going to do it! I'm going to type this reply right now to you and then i'm going to get up and step away from the phone. I'm going to go get a beer out of the fridge, as a matter of fact a little treat for making it through day #2 (well almost, in 40 minutes day #2 will be complete). But i must say, this sucks. I just put up both of my middle fingers in honor of that narcissistic, sociopathic, lying, cheating, gaslighting, indecisive, self-promoting, selfish, thoughtless, adorable a-hole don't do it!!!!! Step away from the phone!!!! You can make it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Yes, I've made it so far! I must admit *hangs head in shame* that my cell phone is in front of me right now and my texting screen is up.... but I'm NOT going to do it! I'm going to type this reply right now to you and then I'm going to get up and step away from the phone. I'm going to go get a beer out of the fridge, as a matter of fact A little treat for making it through day #2 (well almost, in 40 minutes day #2 will be complete). But I must say, THIS SUCKS. I just put up both of my middle fingers in honor of that narcissistic, sociopathic, lying, cheating, gaslighting, indecisive, self-promoting, selfish, thoughtless, adorable a-hole Glad you moved back into anger (outward emotion) and out of the depression (anger turned inward). This way you can kick his arse and get over him. Good work girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 IMTK, how are doing??? NWTG - how are YOU doing?? I think it is great you two are going to be NC buddies Each minute you get through, each hour you get through is a huge accomplishment. Keep it up (including the middle finger!!) (((hugs)))) If the mods on here would let me, I would make a new avatar with a middle finger Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 #$^&(#%^*&)q*)!!!! He just freakin texted me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am NOT responding!!!!!! He is asking me if I'm going out with the other firefighter guy who asked me out last weekend. can you even believe the nerve of this man?!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
alg24 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Do NOT respond!! YOU have the power now!!! Keep up NC!!!! Remember what this person has done to you!!! You do NOT want him in your life. You do NOT want to talk to him. It does not matter how many text messages you get from him- even if they start showing worry then anger DO NOT RESPOND!! Remember what he did to you last time. You did NOT deserve that. Do not protect him or understand his situation. He hurt YOU. He treated you HORRIBLE. You ended up sick and had to go to the hospital because of this man. DO NOT RESPOND. STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE! Try not keeping your phone with you all the time if that is possible.... I leave my cell phone in my car at night (Even though I have my house for) For some reason even though I have the house phone I don't find it as tempting. STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE!! Please (((hugs))) don't let this animal back into your life. You guys might have had this ''chemistry'' ''passion'' whatever you want to call it but it was a fantasy. I am sorry, but you deserve a guy who is going to be everything for you and at an even pace. This man was a roller-coaster ride which made the passion more powerful and the hurt beyond believe. No connection/passion with anyone is worth the pain you went through. Do not respond. Do not text. Each time you feel the urge remember how bad he hurt you. The first night how you felt compared to now. Do you want to feel the same way you felt the first night he hurt you so bad? Write down all the bad things he did to you. Look over the list. ((hug_)) Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 He knows he is losing you so he is trying to engage in any way he can - taking a friendly interest in your lovelife etc. Can you block his number so he cant call or text? Call your cell phone company and ask. That way his communications will go right into the ether and you wont be bothered Stay strong you are doing great Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 And he is going to continue to text you until you react. You are reacting, even if it's not replying back. Fact is, what he is saying is affecting you! Keeps him in your head. You keep phone close by - To see if/when he is going to text, all that does is keep you from really letting go and allowing yourself to truly begin your grieving process. Disconnect that phone and get a number! Yes, it'll be a pain in the ass, having to tell everyone and start over, but it'll be well worth it. You may be in NC mode with him (almost 2 days, that's great so celebrate!) why not make it 3 days..Then 4...Then 5...And so on. Make it easier on you by getting rid of that number and getting a new one. Hope this makes sense. Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 Don't respond!!! Come on!! You can do this! Shut off your phone for tonight! Hang in there! I won't text if you won't! Remember...we're NC buddies!? Link to post Share on other sites
Author I Miss the Kiss Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 I know you are all right... I am sitting here crying but I am strong. I can't let him back in. He tore my heart out without anesthesia :/ In the blink of an eye... I will get through this night. I will not answer him. And tomorrow is a new day. I will not answer him then, either. Let him hurt and wonder and worry and fret, just like I have for the better part of 10 months now. I am going to go to bed now so I will not be tempted. Sleep is my friend... Good night, everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 And he is going to continue to text you until you react. You are reacting, even if it's not replying back. Fact is, what he is saying is affecting you! Keeps him in your head. You keep phone close by - To see if/when he is going to text, all that does is keep you from really letting go and allowing yourself to truly begin your grieving process. Disconnect that phone and get a number! Yes, it'll be a pain in the ass, having to tell everyone and start over, but it'll be well worth it. You may be in NC mode with him (almost 2 days, that's great so celebrate!) why not make it 3 days..Then 4...Then 5...And so on. Make it easier on you by getting rid of that number and getting a new one. Hope this makes sense. Cell #'s are easy to change! I think mine cost $35 and that was it. Then just be careful who you let have it!! Link to post Share on other sites
WhereToGoFromHere Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 I know you are all right... I am sitting here crying but I am strong. I can't let him back in. He tore my heart out without anesthesia :/ In the blink of an eye... I will get through this night. I will not answer him. And tomorrow is a new day. I will not answer him then, either. Let him hurt and wonder and worry and fret, just like I have for the better part of 10 months now. I am going to go to bed now so I will not be tempted. Sleep is my friend... Good night, everyone. Good night! Put that phone in the fridge with that beer while you're sleeping!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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