engravefeelthevoid Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 oh crap the OP is a female ! haha well DO GO to the gym...either for weight loss or just toning....physical appearance is the doorway to your soul....if ur good looking or acceptable...guys would hang out with you.....you appearance mirrors your inside....it shows that you groom urself and all that I think u get my point... Nothing wrong in practicing....go talk to guys randomly in malls or streets with no intension in meeting them just asking them for directions or things...this would help u getover any social awkwardness u have and will let u know ur potential more... WORK ON URSELF ! good things wont come to you you gotta go pick them up ! and I strongly believe that u can achieve this....ur desire to make ur life better is a good first step....work urself from here Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Not so JohnnyM. At least not in my case. I'm not out chasing down super models and I don't think I am hot sh*t. Except a woman does not have to be a supermodel to be out of your league. If a woman is a 7, she's hardly a super model, but she would still probably be out of your league if you are a 5, for example. If there is nothing seriously wrong with your personality or social skills and you can't get the women you want, the most likely explanation is that you're aiming to high....even if you are not aiming for supermodel types. I probably am just "average". I'm just curious how you could know that having never met or spoken to me. The majority if people are average (both in terms of their looks and personality), so it's just an educated guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetie1977 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I think the whole league thing is tricky,unless youre hitting on 9's and 10's which i dont think the op is doing the majority of people are in the average range either in the middle or a little below or above. Some of you seem to want the OP to detect right away if a women is to good for him beneath him or on the same level before approaching,who the heck knows? How should he know? Should he say to himself im a 5 this girls a 7 i cant get her? Everyone has different tastes,just because he likes soembody who you might think is closer to or on his his level of attratcivness doesnt mean shes atuomotically gonna like him and just becasue theres a girl who in your eyes is above him doesnt mean she wont Ive seen my girflriends date guys who i thought were "below" them so to speak looks wise and have seen them reject guys i thought were gorgeous then realized gasp we all like different things The whole standards thing is a tricky thing is all im saying,its not as black and white as youre making it out to be by telling him to hit on less attractive women Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 When every person you like, never likes you back. How do you solve this dilemma? Like different people. The change comes from within yourself. Find new parameters, new attractive qualities, new vision. It's possible Link to post Share on other sites
engravefeelthevoid Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 dont forget that theres no solid rule for it....not necesarily that every guy and girl who are 9's would hook up and have a good life ! if you could demonstrate non-physical qualities that raise your scale...you could get a 9er even if ur a 7er...so it's a parallel thing between physical appearance and personality.... to a 9 girl, a 7er who makes her FEEL special and safe and gives her attention is better than a 10er who gives her a hard time ! Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I think the whole league thing is tricky,unless youre hitting on 9's and 10's which i dont think the op is doing the majority of people are in the average range either in the middle or a little below or above. Some of you seem to want the OP to detect right away if a women is to good for him beneath him or on the same level before approaching,who the heck knows? How should he know? Should he say to himself im a 5 this girls a 7 i cant get her? I'm not saying he should not try to go for girls who rank higher than him. Money, social status and certain other factors can in some cases make up for physical deficiency to some extent. But he needs to understand that he's swimming against the current and such women are not going to flock to him. Rather, he will have to extend a significant amount of effort to attract (not to mention keep) a woman who is out of his league. Everyone has different tastes,just because he likes soembody who you might think is closer to or on his his level of attratcivness doesnt mean shes atuomotically gonna like him and just becasue theres a girl who in your eyes is above him doesnt mean she wont Beauty has both objective and subjective elements. Things like eye and hair color are subjective. However, things like facial symmetry and body type preferences are largely objective (i.e. 99% of men would take a slender woman with a coke bottle figure, big eyes and a small straight nose over an overweight woman with little beady eyes and a huge crooked nose). Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 The whole standards thing is a tricky thing is all I'm saying,its not as black and white as youre making it out to be by telling him to hit on less attractive women Yes I agree. I've Never settled for anything in my life. If I want something/someone I go for it. It's just who I am. I don't think I could change at this point, even if I wanted to. I've just never been able to 'settle" not for anything or any one I's just not me Link to post Share on other sites
Lakeside_runner Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Geez - when did this thread become so fixed on rankings?! I may be wrong but it is hard to objectively state that somebody is a 7 or a 3 or a 9! The girls I have dated and who to me were the most beautiful creatures to ever walk the earth could have been easily perceived as average! I think it is all subjective... Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Geez - when did this thread become so fixed on rankings?! I may be wrong but it is hard to objectively state that somebody is a 7 or a 3 or a 9! Actually, it's not hard at all if you possess at least some power of observation and your brain is capable of comparative analysis. Link to post Share on other sites
Lakeside_runner Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Actually, it's not hard at all if you possess at least some power of observation and your brain is capable of comparative analysis. Seriously?! I'll assume that since you don't know me at all you were not accusing me of not being able to make comparative analysis - so I'll let it slide... Is it really so easy to say that someone is a 6 or an 8? I'd rather opt for the distinction: attractive/neutral/not attractive (and maybe add 'very' in front of each of them)... Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Seriously?! I'll assume that since you don't know me at all you were not accusing me of not being able to make comparative analysis - so I'll let it slide... Is it really so easy to say that someone is a 6 or an 8? I'd rather opt for the distinction: attractive/neutral/not attractive (and maybe add 'very' in front of each of them)... Yes, seriously. 6 is slightly above average, 7 is cute, 8 is beautiful, 9 is stunning, and 10 is perfection personified. I honestly don't think it's terribly difficult to differentiate between these classes. Link to post Share on other sites
Lakeside_runner Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 OK. And this is why I said that it is hard to say objectively that someone is a 9 - period. To me she can be a 10 but to you she can be merely a 7... It is not true that someone is a 9 for everyone! This was my point... Everything else is just semantics... Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Yeah, how do you solve this dilemma? anyone ever had this problem and finally found a way to have happiness in relationships? Usually I settle for a short guy Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Carl Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Before a nice guy, obviously. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 To me she can be a 10 but to you she can be merely a 7... It is not true that someone is a 9 for everyone! This was my point... Everything else is just semantics... That's very unlikely unless one of us had a fetish for a particular type of girl. There can be some debate as to whether a girl is a 6 or a 7, for example, but not whether a girl is a 7 or a 10. The gap between 7 and 10 is too huge to be subject to personal preference. 10 is Megan Fox or Giselle Bündchen; 7 is a girl you saw walking down the street and thought "yeah, she's kinda cute". Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 That's very unlikely unless one of us had a fetish for a particular type of girl. There can be some debate as to whether a girl is a 6 or a 7, for example, but not whether a girl is a 7 or a 10. The gap between 7 and 10 is too huge to be subject to personal preference. 10 is Megan Fox or Giselle Bündchen; 7 is a girl you saw walking down the street and thought "yeah, she's kinda cute". Theres something Ive been meaning to ask you Do you have a soul Johnny M? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Before a nice guy, obviously. or a red white and blue dog Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Twice when I've liked someone and it wasn't returned, once I'd moved on they suddenly became interested. So I guess become unavailable to them. Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny M Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Theres something Ive been meaning to ask you Do you have a soul Johnny M? That's a little too philosophical a question for this thread...or this board for that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 Geez - when did this thread become so fixed on rankings?! I may be wrong but it is hard to objectively state that somebody is a 7 or a 3 or a 9! The girls I have dated and who to me were the most beautiful creatures to ever walk the earth could have been easily perceived as average! I think it is all subjective... your actually one of them who started it by saying the OP is out of league. Link to post Share on other sites
gypsy_nicky Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 OK. And this is why I said that it is hard to say objectively that someone is a 9 - period. To me she can be a 10 but to you she can be merely a 7... It is not true that someone is a 9 for everyone! This was my point... Everything else is just semantics... No. Men in general, have consensus when it comes to whats beautiful and not. If you venture in the 6's and 7's that's when it becomes subjective as I have been posting on LS that most fall within the 5-7 range (average). Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I guess what i'm saying is, you only get one shot in this life. So I'm going for it all . You have to be your own man ( or woman) no matter what anyone else says. In my mind that's just all there is to it. Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 OP I don't think its about you going for guys out of your league. I've been in the same position as you, everyone that I really, really liked and felt a connection with never, ever wanted me back. I read somewhere that this is not to do with the men, but to do with you. Basically that you are totally unconsciously choosing men that aren't going to want you back. The theory goes that somewhere deep inside you are afraid of getting hurt and of getting too close to someone, so you go for an unavailable man or men. These types of men don't want you back, thus confirming for you that this is what always happens, that you have nothing to offer and it hurts, you don't want to get hurt again, thus once again go for an unavailable man unconsciously. I thought about this and my first thought was 'no! that's not true, I do want a boyfriend, I do want a relationship'...but then looked back at my history and there was a pattern there of fixating on guys that yes, I got on great with but who from the very beginning had stated through actions or words that it wasn't going anywhere. Normal people at that point walk away. I didn't, I clung on in hoping they'd change their mind and hurt myself in the process. What helps is to think about what you want, and that includes that you want someone you like to want you back. If they don't, off the list. This prevents the obsessing along the lines of 'why doesn't he want me, what's so wrong with me?' which leads to you being insecure and attracting insecure men, which also repeats the cycle. You don't want to end up feeling so worthless that you are simply grateful for any attention from anyone instead of feeling confident and desireable. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 I find it difficult to differentiate between people on a 1-10 scale. I tend to assume I'm a little above average (I guess you always tend to see yourself as the everyman) but other people seem to think I'm more attractive than that, although I'm definitely not a 10. Also the guys I date seem acceptable to me, but my friends quite often go "ewww" at my new boyfriend. Maybe my perception is just totally skewed? We all know that girls like Megan Fox etc are 10s. What would be really helpful is if someone could post links to pictures of guys and girls who they'd class as 5s, 7s, 9s, etc. Then both the OP and I could figure out whether our perception is skewed. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted February 11, 2010 Share Posted February 11, 2010 OK, so my friend told me about this website http://www.hotornot.com You can rate people's attractiveness, and then it shows you the average rating from everyone else. I found I'm consistently under-estimating everyone by at least a couple of points, sometimes more, which means the general consensus is that someone is more attractive than I think they are! I guess that explains why I don't find myself particularly attractive but others do! But how does it fit with the fact that I tend to date guys who my friends find unattractive? Perhaps it means I'm judging attractiveness on criteria other than looks... oh well, at least I'm not shallow... In any case, it explains why I very rarely see a truly hot guy - they're obviously everywhere and I'm just under-estimating them Link to post Share on other sites
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