Jeff1962 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Enjoyed a poker nite with the guys, came home early. Started around 6 pm. Got home around 10 pm, won 75 bucks. Not drunk, happy by all means. Wife comes onto me as soon as I get home. Ok. I freshen up, get into bed. She freshens up and I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.............................. She comes out of the bathroom and I say in a teasing voice, where have you been, I've been waiting for you? She freaks. Gets totally pissed, says I was rude. She was making excuses again and blaming me. There goes the romance once again. I'm done. I am young and I have normal human desires. I cannot live like this anymore. I told my wife to stick it up her a** and to go and fu*k herself. She said that she would move out by the end of the month and I agreed with her. I offered to help her move out. I'm no fool. Kiss my a**. This hurts me to no end. But I'll be damned if I live the rest of my life being unhappy. I'm still going to better myself, screw you critics.
BlueeyedJonesy Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Sorry things are screwed up for you right now. Your wife is definetly in need of some IC. It sounds like shes having some problems with herself. I'm sure you've tried everything on the face of this earth...and I would be right there with you, I couldn't live like that either.
giotto Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 in another thread you said she wanted to go on a date and that you turned her down because you had already arranged to go and play poker... well, I would be pissed off too if my husband preferred poker to me... lol
mem11363 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I am really sorry to hear that. That was a very cruel and hateful thing she did to you. I hope you find someone who can love you the way you deserve. Enjoyed a poker nite with the guys, came home early. Started around 6 pm. Got home around 10 pm, won 75 bucks. Not drunk, happy by all means. Wife comes onto me as soon as I get home. Ok. I freshen up, get into bed. She freshens up and I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.............................. She comes out of the bathroom and I say in a teasing voice, where have you been, I've been waiting for you? She freaks. Gets totally pissed, says I was rude. She was making excuses again and blaming me. There goes the romance once again. I'm done. I am young and I have normal human desires. I cannot live like this anymore. I told my wife to stick it up her a** and to go and fu*k herself. She said that she would move out by the end of the month and I agreed with her. I offered to help her move out. I'm no fool. Kiss my a**. This hurts me to no end. But I'll be damned if I live the rest of my life being unhappy. I'm still going to better myself, screw you critics.
mem11363 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Giotto, I cannot believe you just said that to this man. Do you not grasp where he is at right now. And on a factual note - no matter WHAT - she came on to him and then made him wait and then attacked him. You are turning into a sadistic person G. You didn't start out that way. in another thread you said she wanted to go on a date and that you turned her down because you had already arranged to go and play poker... well, I would be pissed off too if my husband preferred poker to me... lol
Angel1111 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 in another thread you said she wanted to go on a date and that you turned her down because you had already arranged to go and play poker... well, I would be pissed off too if my husband preferred poker to me... lol He already had plans. There's nothing wrong with what he did. Besides, if she was so pissed off, then why did she come on to him when he got home? Sounds to me like she likes playing games. Jeff, don't cave in, or let her change her mind about moving out. This needs to end once and for all. Enough is enough. No one deserves to be treated in this way.
giotto Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Giotto, I cannot believe you just said that to this man. Do you not grasp where he is at right now. And on a factual note - no matter WHAT - she came on to him and then made him wait and then attacked him. You are turning into a sadistic person G. You didn't start out that way. well, ok, she was off line, but I understand that, especially after all the talking about sex from his part... it was cruel, but we are only hearing his side of the story... and I'm not turning into a sadistic person... maybe cynical, but never sadistic... lol
WalkInThePark Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Well, it is difficult to exactly know how things happened but it seems to me that your wife has some very indirect, passive-agressive way of showing resentment. That's my first thought when I read this: she is angry about something but instead of telling it in your face, she just frustrates you by attracting and rejecting you. I don't know how you can solve this. One thing I notice here is that men seem to like to get married with women who don't like sex. Because I read quite some stories about men who are married for a long time who don't have a lot of sex. Is this maybe because younger men prefer to marry a girl who is not very sexual rather than one who is more sexual because they consider the latter automatically as some kind of wh*re? The so-called madonna-wh*re complex? As if a woman who enjoys sex, is somehow flawed...
WalkInThePark Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 He already had plans. There's nothing wrong with what he did. Besides, if she was so pissed off, then why did she come on to him when he got home? Sounds to me like she likes playing games. Jeff, don't cave in, or let her change her mind about moving out. This needs to end once and for all. Enough is enough. No one deserves to be treated in this way. I agree. She said she would move out, let her stick to it.
mem11363 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I don't know about other people. I dated a few women who are attractive to me - but sexually they were either very limited or they simply were not that into me. I never wanted to marry someone like that. What you say is somewhat true though. Guys come on and post - and they admit it was not good from the start. Sex is 10 percent of my marriage - because it is good. If it was bad/terrible it would quickly become 90 percent. Giotto, There is a difference between cynical and cruel. A big difference. Jeff comes across as only being guilty of one sin. Being too nice. And then you blame him for not rolling over when he "already had plans". You are being very mean to someone whose marriage is ending. Why? Well, it is difficult to exactly know how things happened but it seems to me that your wife has some very indirect, passive-agressive way of showing resentment. That's my first thought when I read this: she is angry about something but instead of telling it in your face, she just frustrates you by attracting and rejecting you. I don't know how you can solve this. One thing I notice here is that men seem to like to get married with women who don't like sex. Because I read quite some stories about men who are married for a long time who don't have a lot of sex. Is this maybe because younger men prefer to marry a girl who is not very sexual rather than one who is more sexual because they consider the latter automatically as some kind of wh*re? The so-called madonna-wh*re complex? As if a woman who enjoys sex, is somehow flawed...
giotto Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Giotto, There is a difference between cynical and cruel. A big difference. Jeff comes across as only being guilty of one sin. Being too nice. And then you blame him for not rolling over when he "already had plans". You are being very mean to someone whose marriage is ending. Why? No, Jeff has said many times that he was and still is (to a certain extent) a "bad boy". He is not a doormat and he never was. I think Jeff is pushing it too much and he's becoming too alpha, hence the wife's reaction... He cannot expect to change that much and not get a negative response from her. I can see why she is pissed off... after all that talking about sex, when she wants to go on a date, he says "no"... well, that was his plan... and it's working. I'm afraid having an angry wife comes with the "new man"...
HeyThere Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Yes, stick to your guns, this passive aggressive treatment by your wife is irrational, manipulation added at no extra charge. Unless she sees the light of day, let her walk.
CLC2008 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Enjoyed a poker nite with the guys, came home early. Started around 6 pm. Got home around 10 pm, won 75 bucks. Not drunk, happy by all means. Wife comes onto me as soon as I get home. Ok. I freshen up, get into bed. She freshens up and I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.............................. She comes out of the bathroom and I say in a teasing voice, where have you been, I've been waiting for you? She freaks. Gets totally pissed, says I was rude. She was making excuses again and blaming me. There goes the romance once again. I'm done. I am young and I have normal human desires. I cannot live like this anymore. I told my wife to stick it up her a** and to go and fu*k herself. She said that she would move out by the end of the month and I agreed with her. I offered to help her move out. I'm no fool. Kiss my a**. This hurts me to no end. But I'll be damned if I live the rest of my life being unhappy. I'm still going to better myself, screw you critics. I'm sorry, but this post is humorous. I can't possibly see how your comment would piss her off to such an extreme, there has to be more to it.
Samantha0905 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Sex is 10 percent of my marriage - because it is good. If it was bad/terrible it would quickly become 90 percent. I couldn't agree more. I don't know your entire situation, Jess, but if an almost moment of passion/love making turns into a heated argument and name calling -- that's a bad sign. Have the two of you gone to counseling? I must say I've complained about boredom in my marriage, but I just don't see where name calling/profanities should ever be used against one's spouse. It seems really disrespectful. I don't mind lewd talking during sex though. It sounds like your wife was just trying to come up with a reason not to have sex. If you've had enough, you've had enough. (I don't know how long this has gone on.) I'm sorry things are going badly for you.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I'm sorry, but this post is humorous. I can't possibly see how your comment would piss her off to such an extreme, there has to be more to it. I agree, there has got to be more to the story here. Your version of a "teasing voice" may not been what she perceived as teasing. And sorry dude, but what you said to your wife was uncalled for even if she DID freak. Did she say anything like that to you? I would never tolerate being talked to like that. No wonder she wants to move out. I don't think you are the innocent victim in all this. It takes two to tango!
Angel1111 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I'm sorry, but this post is humorous. I can't possibly see how your comment would piss her off to such an extreme, there has to be more to it. The issue of sex is an longstanding problem between them. Jeff has talked about this quite a bit. Based on other things he has talked about, I doubt that there's much more to this dialogue between them. It's time to just cut out the cancer and move on.
zwieback.toast Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Enjoyed a poker nite with the guys, came home early. Started around 6 pm. Got home around 10 pm, won 75 bucks. Not drunk, happy by all means. Wife comes onto me as soon as I get home. Ok. I freshen up, get into bed. She freshens up and I wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.............................. She comes out of the bathroom and I say in a teasing voice, where have you been, I've been waiting for you? She freaks. Gets totally pissed, says I was rude. She was making excuses again and blaming me. There goes the romance once again. I'm done. I am young and I have normal human desires. I cannot live like this anymore. I told my wife to stick it up her a** and to go and fu*k herself. She said that she would move out by the end of the month and I agreed with her. I offered to help her move out. I'm no fool. Kiss my a**. This hurts me to no end. But I'll be damned if I live the rest of my life being unhappy. I'm still going to better myself, screw you critics. Wow it sounds like you two hate each other.
whichwayisup Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I told my wife to stick it up her a** and to go and fu*k herself. She said that she would move out by the end of the month and I agreed with her. I offered to help her move out. Since it's reached this level, such rudeness and disrespect towards one another, both you and your wife have resentment build ups and it's good that she agrees with you about her moving out. Means she is ready as well. Good luck and I hope the D process happens fairly and quickly.
HeyThere Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 A number of years ago I was with an associate that was constantly berated by the manager. I mentioned to my friend he should speak up for himself and he agreed. A few days later I was in a room speaking to the manager, in walked the associate; the associate started cursing the manager up and down. The associate then left and the manager and I quizzically looked at one another. I caught up to the associate and asked him why he didn’t articulate his concerns; he said he was so mad that was the only thing that could come out. We had a good laugh. The two of them cleared the air and last I heard they continued to work together.
Author Jeff1962 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 I agree, there has got to be more to the story here. Your version of a "teasing voice" may not been what she perceived as teasing. And sorry dude, but what you said to your wife was uncalled for even if she DID freak. Did she say anything like that to you? I would never tolerate being talked to like that. No wonder she wants to move out. I don't think you are the innocent victim in all this. It takes two to tango! I have never spoken ill toward my wife until last nite. I've never said anything like this to her before. I've had it, I'm done. I'm through with being frustrated and now I'm pissed. Victim? You are the only one mentioning the word victim, not me. I've never claimed to be a victim nor do I view myself as one. Yes, there are 2 sides to every coin, I can only give my side because I am not the other side of the coin. You were not there and you did not live it. You were not the one to be built up and then torn down again. You are not the one that has tried so many ways to repair my marriage. You are not the one who has been left wondering about himself. You are not the one left alone, you are not the one who feels damaged, your heart is not broken, mine is. I do not seek nor do I care for your acceptance. As far as I am concerned you can take a long walk off of a short pier.
zwieback.toast Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I have never spoken ill toward my wife until last nite. I've never said anything like this to her before. I've had it, I'm done. I'm through with being frustrated and now I'm pissed. First time you ever expressed anger to your wife???? Jeff it sounds to me like you had a "breakthrough" in communications, maybe this is the turning point.
Author Jeff1962 Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 First time you ever expressed anger to your wife???? Jeff it sounds to me like you had a "breakthrough" in communications, maybe this is the turning point. No, no. I have often been angry with my wife and expressed this. This was the first time I cursed her out. As many have said to not let her change her mind about moving out, I have no intention of stopping her. I even offered to help, to speed up the process. I know that it's going to hurt real bad. I'm already hurting. I know it's going to get worse before it get's better. I'm just done. I can't do this anymore. I'm ready to face my hurt once and for all, move on with my life, instead of living a lifetime of hurt. I love her with all my heart and would give almost anything to change this but I am now willing to face reality head on.
Lauriebell82 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I know that it's going to hurt real bad. I'm already hurting. I know it's going to get worse before it get's better. I'm just done. I can't do this anymore. I'm ready to face my hurt once and for all, move on with my life, instead of living a lifetime of hurt. I love her with all my heart and would give almost anything to change this but I am now willing to face reality head on. Why are you giving up? Were part of your marriage vows "Till I cuss my wife out do us part?" I don't think so. The things you just said make me believe that you CAN work this out, you are just frustrated. That's completely understandable. But THIS is why the divorce rate is so high! You guys obviously have some issues (yes, both of you!) If you were saying you aren't going to be hurt by her leaving and you don't love her anymore I would say okay go ahead with the divorce. But it doesn't sound like that's REALLY what you want. Marriage takes work dude!!! That's what you signed up for, for better or worse remember? What about MC? Besides even that I think you two just need to communicate with each other more. Sit down and talk about WHY she got so uspet and freaked out. Wives just don't do that for no good reason. Like I said she perceived your comment as rude. Find out why!
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I know that it's going to hurt real bad. I'm already hurting. I know it's going to get worse before it get's better./QUOTE] Yes, it will hurt. There will be pain, anger, resentment, all kinds of hurt. But these feelings will (eventually) subside... You need to just think about you right now. Focus on yourself. Improve yourself. By the best you can in EVERY way!
Lauriebell82 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 You need to just think about you right now. Focus on yourself. Improve yourself. By the best you can in EVERY way! What's the point in getting married then? IMO he needs to be the best husband he can be! Otherwise the vows he took were just a waste of time..
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