Lying & porn

[sxyNYCcpl]

Many men chime in defending said partner and his masculinity by justifying the use of porn by "all men do it" or "i'm/he's a man of course he looks at porn".

 

It's not a matter of defining our masculinity by using porn, it's a question of statistics and normality. Were some woman to come on this board shocked and dismayed because she discovered her SO pees while standing, the answer would be the same. Of COURSE he pees while standing, it's just a standard part of being male.

 

Every once in awhile you'll run into a guy who sits to pee, just like every once in a while you'll run into a guy who neither uses porn nor wants to, but both are very much a minority. If us guys had an LED on our forehead that lit up on guys who use porn I think some posters here would be shocked at how few dim LED's they would see on a daily basis.

 

Now we all say porn isn't a big deal as long as a man doesn't pick it over his real life. However, time and time again, everytime a man defends porn or the lying about porn use to appease a partner, no matter the justification, they are infact doing just that. Picking the porn over the real woman.

 

"Picking porn over real life sex" = "Physically or otherwise unable or unwilling to have sex with your SO because of excessive porn use."

 

You are equating it to the wrong standard. That said, I've said time and time again that one thing I do agree with you about is that lying is a problem. If you use porn, own it. If it ends the relationship because the porn-hating SO can't take it, so be it, you're probably better off that way anyway. That said, porn haters IMO face a very uphill battle in their effort to find an SO that is not a user as I believe such persons to be extremely rare.

 

I have never, so far as I can recollect, been in a relationship with a woman who objected to porn, quite the opposite my SO's have almost universally been users themselves, and my now-wife is a much bigger porn hound than I. That said, I would never tell someone I was in a relationship with that I didn't, frankly the fact alone that she doesn't like that probably means we're incompatible in the first place.

[Els]

 

So pick your battles. 90% of dudes are going to watch porn, because deep down men like a variety of beautiful women. That's evolution. If you're lucky, a man will share those desires with you. If not, he'll keep them to himself. Either way, you can't control it.

 

Deal with it.

 

You guys are going overboard with the defensive thing. The OP's partner is lying to her because he's second-guessing and doesn't trust her when she says it's okay. That is a necessary battle to pick, IMO.

 

I hope you guys who are saying it's okay, won't mind your gf lying to you.

[soserious1]

Hey, there are certain things men are going to do, and if women don't like them, then tough s***. Women can't always get what they want, just because they want it.

 

The dude here has basically said, "I'm watching porn. If you don't like, GTFO." Just like in another thread the guy basically said, "I'm going with my buddies to a strip club for a guy's bachelor party. If you don't like it, GTFO."

 

Just because it "hurts" you ladies doesn't mean that the man is going to stop it. If he does, that's called being "p*ssywhipped" and no man likes to feel like that.

 

So pick your battles. 90% of dudes are going to watch porn, because deep down men like a variety of beautiful women. That's evolution. If you're lucky, a man will share those desires with you. If not, he'll keep them to himself. Either way, you can't control it.

 

Deal with it.

 

Since I'm not cock whipped and have no desire to sit and listen to a man wax poetic about all the women he'd much rather be boning than me all the while telling me how "lucky" I am that he's sharing that info with me. I did exactly as you suggest and I "GTFO"

 

I've got no desire to "control" anybody, OTOH I have no desire for anybody to control me.

Edited February 5, 2010 by soserious1