too embarrassed to sleep with him

[boogieboy]

Thanks....I'll go do some shopping

Anyway, after talking to him everyday despite breaking up, I've decided to tell him what's really up. If he has a problem, too bad..

 

Holy Shyt Thats great!

 

This is what I was tryin to tell you long ago, THIS is the attitude to have....thats great news Ella.

 

Btw pancakes are boobs that have lost all density and they are just skin...also known as flapjacks...like deflated balloons.

[paddington bear]

Yay! Good for you Ella, that's exactly the attitude you should have. Hope it works out well and if not, well then, as you said, his problem.

 

[Phateless]

Yay! Good for you Ella, that's exactly the attitude you should have. Hope it works out well and if not, well then, as you said, his problem.

 

 

Yup. There are plenty of guys in the world who couldn't care less if your boobs sag, so why on earth would you date one that does care?

 

:bunny::bunny:

[ella23]

Thta's a great decision! The counseling should help. Remember, if you see a counselor and he/she doesn't help you enough after a certain amount of time, switch to a different one.

 

I'm proud of you too!

 

 

One day you will be optomistic in situations like this. That's something that you definitely want to talk about with the counselor. How do you get to where are are more optomistic?

Thanks.

Well, I hope to be more positive in the future, too!

 

Holy Shyt Thats great!

 

This is what I was tryin to tell you long ago, THIS is the attitude to have....thats great news Ella.

 

Btw pancakes are boobs that have lost all density and they are just skin...also known as flapjacks...like deflated balloons.

Lol you sound stunned.

Pancakes? I wonder....? Oh, nevermind.

 

Yay! Good for you Ella, that's exactly the attitude you should have. Hope it works out well and if not, well then, as you said, his problem.

 

yep.

Yup. There are plenty of guys in the world who couldn't care less if your boobs sag, so why on earth would you date one that does care?

 

:bunny::bunny:

 

Hmm yes, but hopefully I'm not going to be dumped two times in a row over this.

Once was bad enough....

[OceanTropic]

I think you should tell him. The next time you guys get intimate, tell him you really want to get close to him, but you have this insecurity that was worsened by your ex, and you are having trouble opening up.

 

If he asks what it is, it is entirely up to you if you want to tell him. If he understands and gives you time and space, then he is a keeper and I don't think he would care about how your breasts are.

 

I don't mean to be rude but your ex was an a**hole. If a man truly loves you, he loves every bit and piece of you, no matter how saggy or big it is. He will love it because it is yours.

 

If you are comfortable enough to share this with him, I don't see the harm. At least he will understand what is going on, and you will be more comfortable with him knowing, rather than having to hide this every time you are intimate.

[boogieboy]

Lol you sound stunned.

Pancakes? I wonder....? Oh, nevermind.

 

I AM stunned...I didnt think you would start thinking like that after all this.

 

Pancakes, yes...Aunt Jemima.

[ella23]

I AM stunned...I didnt think you would start thinking like that after all this.

 

Pancakes, yes...Aunt Jemima.

Oh,lol

Ill be seeing him soon tonight and I feel freaked out and embarrassed about having to talk to him, but I don't want to keep postponing doing this either.

[thegreatmoose]

Oh,lol

Ill be seeing him soon tonight and I feel freaked out and embarrassed about having to talk to him, but I don't want to keep postponing doing this either.

This is something you need to work on. You want to learn to change "freaked out" and "embarrassed" with more positive terms and also use the more positive emotion symbols.

[Phateless]

This is something you need to work on. You want to learn to change "freaked out" and "embarrassed" with more positive terms and also use the more positive emotion symbols.

 

That's true. Reframing your own thought process can be very powerful!

[ella23]

I know, I know....I'm trying to be as positive as I can. I really need that today.

[boogieboy]

I know, I know....I'm trying to be as positive as I can. I really need that today.

 

Ill help you out, watch this..........

 

Oh,lol

Ill be seeing him soon tonight and I feel freaked out and embarrassed about having to talk to him, but I don't want to keep postponing doing this either.

 

Ill be seeing him soon tonight and I feel confident and liberated about having to talk to him, and I look forward to not postponing this any longer..

 

Get it?

[Phateless]

Ill help you out, watch this..........

 

 

 

Ill be seeing him soon tonight and I feel confident and liberated about having to talk to him, and I look forward to not postponing this any longer..

 

Get it?

 

I know this seems cheesie, but BoogieBoy here is SO RIGHT! This really does help, and you won't know how much until you've been doing it consistently for a couple of weeks.

 

Try it.

[sugar_and_spice]

best of luck with him.

[ann09]

DEFINITELY do not break up with him over this. Imagine this conversation:

 

Your friend: "Hey girl, how are you and your boyfriend doing?"

You: "We broke up"

Friend: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! WHY?"

You: "Because I don't like my boobs"

Friend: "..........."

 

 

Don't let your scumbag ex make you so insecure about your body that you'd be missing out on a good thing. Your boobs are fine. I haven't even seen them and I know they are fine. I know this because I'm a guy. The new guy sounds like a nice guy who ALREADY KNOWS that you are insecure about your body, and doesn't want to say anything that will make you feel bad. I must say though that if you continue to stop progress with him, he might think something is wrong him him, and he might get frustrated and stop trying. I've been there before myself. I was sort of hooking up with a girl who didn't like her body, and she was too embarrassed to show me it. After being rejected about 5 times, I just got frustrated and assumed it just wasn't going to happen.

 

Ladies listen up... WE GUYS DON'T CARE IF YOUR BOOBS ARE A LITTLE SAGGY, IF YOU HAVE STRETCH MARKS, OR A SCAR, OR ANY OF THAT. WE ALREADY HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT YOUR BODY LOOKS LIKE JUST BY SEEING YOU CLOTHED AND THEN IMAGINING WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE NAKED. IF WE ARE DATING YOU, KISSING ON YOU AND TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, THEN IT MEANS WE HAVE ALREADY APPROVED OF YOU. STOP BEING YOUR OWN PERSONAL COCK-BLOCKER.

 

I think you that the next time you are with him, and things are getting intimate, just tell him: (*Whisper voice*)"Hey... I just want to let you know that I kind of don't like my breasts, and I've been embarrassed to show you". This will give him the message that there is nothing wrong with him, justifies why you've stopped the progress in the past, and will let him know that you are ready to get naked with him. He will most likely smirk and say something back like "I'm sure your chest is absolutely fine". He is telling the truth, and when he says this... he is really saying "Let me see you naked now please and lets screw".

 

Have fun.

 

 

what an awesome post. i feel better about my own body now. so thank you.

[ann09]

I feel compelled to post here again as I have such a similar issue with my breasts. Theyve always been big (D cup - C cup when I'm 15 lbs lighter) - but big on my small-ish frame. i have always done everything in my power to hide them. Big sweaters, t-shirts etc. I just turned 40 last year and they probably look worse than they ever have (in my eyes) but for the first time ever I wear v-necks and tighter shirts etc. I refuse to ever wear a turtle neck again in my life! I don't know why but in my "older" age I feel more liberated and couldn't careless about the size, shape of my boobs. They get me plenty of unwanted attention (it gets very old after a while, doesn't it?) but they're mine and i have learned to accept them as a big part of me (no pun intended).

I know you're young and this is difficult for you - but I hope the man you end up with makes you feel beautiful - sometimes that's all it takes.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I feel compelled to post here again as I have such a similar issue with my breasts. Theyve always been big (D cup - C cup when I'm 15 lbs lighter) - but big on my small-ish frame. i have always done everything in my power to hide them. Big sweaters, t-shirts etc. I just turned 40 last year and they probably look worse than they ever have (in my eyes) but for the first time ever I wear v-necks and tighter shirts etc. I refuse to ever wear a turtle neck again in my life! I don't know why but in my "older" age I feel more liberated and couldn't careless about the size, shape of my boobs. They get me plenty of unwanted attention (it gets very old after a while, doesn't it?) but they're mine and i have learned to accept them as a big part of me (no pun intended).

I know you're young and this is difficult for you - but I hope the man you end up with makes you feel beautiful - sometimes that's all it takes.

 

 

 

This sounds just like the sort of mindframe I wish women would avoid like the plague from the moment they turn eleven (or nine, or fourteen, etc.).

 

NOT that the poster hasn't evolved to these outlooks 'naturally', but STOP "hiding them"... quit with the "BIG sweaters", "(big) t-shirts", "turtle necks" and treat your breasts as a natural part of "YOU" which helps to define your uniqueness.

 

(now OK, bra's cost more, and are heavier, and made of more solid material... that's the part you can and will adjust to, but the effective "hiding" of yourself is just going too far, and it often helps others to see you as even more "guarded" than in just that physical way)

 

Yes, they get extra (and "unwanted") attention, and the reason WHYYYYYYYY, is because so many people are "hiding..."

[sugar_and_spice]

I feel compelled to post here again as I have such a similar issue with my breasts. Theyve always been big (D cup - C cup when I'm 15 lbs lighter) - but big on my small-ish frame. i have always done everything in my power to hide them. Big sweaters, t-shirts etc. I just turned 40 last year and they probably look worse than they ever have (in my eyes) but for the first time ever I wear v-necks and tighter shirts etc. I refuse to ever wear a turtle neck again in my life! I don't know why but in my "older" age I feel more liberated and couldn't careless about the size, shape of my boobs. They get me plenty of unwanted attention (it gets very old after a while, doesn't it?) but they're mine and i have learned to accept them as a big part of me (no pun intended).

I know you're young and this is difficult for you - but I hope the man you end up with makes you feel beautiful - sometimes that's all it takes.

 

 

I'd imagine at 40 it's far more accepted, unless you mean you've had sagging ones from before.

Like someone said, a great bra can do wonders!

[paddington bear]

well, Ella, are you going to give us an update as to what happened?

[Phateless]

I predict she talked to him and it went really well, and they're still with each other now.

 

At least I'm hoping...

[ella23]

well, Ella, are you going to give us an update as to what happened?

 

I predict she talked to him and it went really well, and they're still with each other now.

 

At least I'm hoping...

 

Yes. :)

To cut a long story short...we're still together. I told him everything and he doesn't mind that my breasts sag. So yes, it went really well.:bunny:

We even slept together, and he didn't look disgusted ( I think he wasn't), so I'm guessing he's fine with it.

 

When I said that it was because I knew so many guys who think sagging is a huge turn of/dealbreaker, he said that I couldn't possibly know what most men think and that wasn't really true. He said my ex was an a-hole lol.

 

He obviously says that he thinks I (and my boobs) still look great despite the sagging and I was getting worked up unnecessarily. Not sure how much he means that but I'm really happy.

 

Tbh, other than my experiences and what I've heard guys say, I thought he'd compare me to the women he's slept with in the past(he's slept with a huge number of women, especially in his late teens and early twenties), and I had no chance, but guess I was wrong.

:love:

Edited January 9, 2010 by ella23

[xpaperxcutx]

Yes. :)

To cut a long story short...we're still together. I told him everything and he doesn't mind that my breasts sag. So yes, it went really well.:bunny:

We even slept together, and he didn't look disgusted ( I think he wasn't), so I'm guessing he's fine with it.

 

When I said that it was because I knew so many guys who think sagging is a huge turn of/dealbreaker, he said that I couldn't possibly know what most men think and that wasn't really true. He said my ex was an a-hole lol.

 

He obviously says that he thinks I (and my boobs) still look great despite the sagging and I was getting worked up unnecessarily. Not sure how much he means that but I'm really happy.

 

Tbh, other than my experiences and what I've heard guys say, I thought he'd compare me to the women he's slept with in the past(and he's slept with a huge number), and I had no chance, but guess I was wrong.

:love:

 

 

AWESOME!!!!!:bunny::bunny::bunny: Bunnies for ya!

 

I'm really glad that you finally learned to accept yourself and I'm really happy, happy for you because you found someone who doesn't care about the superficials and love you the way you are.

 

Please always be confident in yourself, and once again, I'm incredibly happy for you.

[anne1707]

Ella

 

Really happy for you - not only have you found a good man, you have found your confidence. Enjoy!

[sugar_and_spice]

lovely,

for all you know, he probably means what he said.

[boogieboy]

Yes. :)

To cut a long story short...we're still together. I told him everything and he doesn't mind that my breasts sag. So yes, it went really well.:bunny:

We even slept together, and he didn't look disgusted ( I think he wasn't), so I'm guessing he's fine with it.

 

When I said that it was because I knew so many guys who think sagging is a huge turn of/dealbreaker, he said that I couldn't possibly know what most men think and that wasn't really true. He said my ex was an a-hole lol.

 

He obviously says that he thinks I (and my boobs) still look great despite the sagging and I was getting worked up unnecessarily. Not sure how much he means that but I'm really happy.

 

Tbh, other than my experiences and what I've heard guys say, I thought he'd compare me to the women he's slept with in the past(he's slept with a huge number of women, especially in his late teens and early twenties), and I had no chance, but guess I was wrong.

:love:

 

We told you all this....didnt we tell you so?

[thegreatmoose]

Yes. :)

To cut a long story short...we're still together. I told him everything and he doesn't mind that my breasts sag. So yes, it went really well.:bunny:

We even slept together, and he didn't look disgusted ( I think he wasn't), so I'm guessing he's fine with it.

 

When I said that it was because I knew so many guys who think sagging is a huge turn of/dealbreaker, he said that I couldn't possibly know what most men think and that wasn't really true. He said my ex was an a-hole lol.

 

He obviously says that he thinks I (and my boobs) still look great despite the sagging and I was getting worked up unnecessarily. Not sure how much he means that but I'm really happy.

 

Tbh, other than my experiences and what I've heard guys say, I thought he'd compare me to the women he's slept with in the past(he's slept with a huge number of women, especially in his late teens and early twenties), and I had no chance, but guess I was wrong.

:love:

Ella, I'm so proud of you!!!! :):bunny:

 

I'm so happy that you got the courage to let everything out. I'm not at all surpsrised at his positive reaction. He seemed like a good guy from what you have posted.

 

Keep the positive thoughts. I'm so happy for you!!