And so comes the txt from the xMM's W.....

[stampdaddy]

so I've just written the xMM's W a txt saying

 

I'm not sure what he has told you but I have let him go and did a long time ago. I'm sorry I didn't answer you before but if you want me to answer any questions I will.

 

sounds **** when I read it back, think anything I write will though TBH.

 

you just lied to her!!! and set him up to say, "see, I told you we were over a long time ago...."

[2sunny]

so I've just written the xMM's W a txt saying

 

I'm not sure what he has told you I'm sorry I didn't answer you before but if you want me to answer any questions I will.

 

sounds **** when I read it back, think anything I write will though TBH.

 

you have to be willing to tell the truth. this isn't true

but I have let him go and did a long time ago.

 

you just saw him, kissed him and spoke with him. and this past weekend, a few days ago was technically NOT "a long time ago!"

 

be honest.

[2sunny]

and your lies continue too... because you just now ruined your credibility to her... she's seen your cutsie "wakey, wakey" text to him. she knows that's not a gal who let him go a long time ago.

 

this is what half truths looks like.

 

now she is sure to believe him over you.

[stampdaddy]

and your lies continue too... Because you just now ruined your credibility to her... She's seen your cutsie "wakey, wakey" text to him. She knows that's not a gal who let him go a long time ago.

 

This is what half truths looks like.

 

now she is sure to believe him over you.

 

 

yeah!!!!!!

[hopeless4u]

How about just:

 

Your H and I have had an emotional and physical affair for X number of years/months that he has asked me to lie to you about.

I am sorry for your pain and I don't wish to lie anymore. I will answer any questions you have.

 

It is simple. To the point. No vagueness. No wiggle room.

 

Thanks PR I have just put this in my draft.

 

I know its coming and I am petrified of the fall out!!

[2sunny]

Thanks PR I have just put this in my draft.

 

I know its coming and I am petrified of the fall out!!

 

draft of what? isn't SHE the one to ask the questions?

 

if you have a script written it will never work...

[NoIDidn't]

so I've just written the xMM's W a txt saying

 

I'm not sure what he has told you but I have let him go and did a long time ago. I'm sorry I didn't answer you before but if you want me to answer any questions I will.

 

sounds **** when I read it back, think anything I write will though TBH.

 

I hope you only wrote it and didn't send it. This is no where near the truth when you were kissing him just this weekend.

 

The truth is always easier than a clever response. You just sent the clever response.

 

this is what half truths looks like.

 

now she is sure to believe him over you.

 

And if you did send it, take a good look at that Bus Driver, HL4U. Its starting to look like its a female driver, and it isn't the BW.

 

Sending this text (if you did) is signing your *crazy* certification yourself and he is going to use it for ALL its worth.

[hopeless4u]

All saved in draft, I've not sent any!! I don't trust myself at the moment...everything that comes out of my mouth and my head sounds wrong right now.

[PhoenixRise]

so I've just written the xMM's W a txt saying

 

I'm not sure what he has told you but I have let him go and did a long time ago. I'm sorry I didn't answer you before but if you want me to answer any questions I will.

 

sounds **** when I read it back, think anything I write will though TBH.

 

 

hopeless4 u

 

why are you still lying.

 

You know this text is not true.

 

If you want to help MM gaslight the wife and you are going to post about it then you should at least be honest about what you are doing.

[stampdaddy]

All saved in draft, I've not sent any!! I don't trust myself at the moment...everything that comes out of my mouth and my head sounds wrong right now.

 

just don't be letting anything come out of your ass.... Your head is OK...

[2sunny]

so I've just written the xMM's W a txt saying

 

I'm not sure what he has told you but I have let him go and did a long time ago. I'm sorry I didn't answer you before but if you want me to answer any questions I will.

 

sounds **** when I read it back, think anything I write will though TBH.

 

All saved in draft, I've not sent any!! I don't trust myself at the moment...everything that comes out of my mouth and my head sounds wrong right now.

 

now these contradict as well... now I'M wondering what the truth is...

 

be specific and clear - quit changing your story!

[stampdaddy]

now these contradict as well... now I'M wondering what the truth is...

 

be specific and clear - quit changing your story!

 

I am feeling the same way too... I know if OWL was here, he would have been pulling up his stakes and heading out cause some folks just don't "get it"..

[PhoenixRise]

All saved in draft, I've not sent any!! I don't trust myself at the moment...everything that comes out of my mouth and my head sounds wrong right now.

 

OK

 

whatever you do send let it be nothing but the truth. Don't try to be vague. Don't leave room for doubt or misinterpretation.

 

Good Luck

[norajane]

so I've just written the xMM's W a txt saying

 

I'm not sure what he has told you but I have let him go and did a long time ago. I'm sorry I didn't answer you before but if you want me to answer any questions I will.

 

sounds **** when I read it back, think anything I write will though TBH.

 

That's a bunch of lies.

 

You never let MM go. He was in your house continually, and in your bed a few days ago, and you saw him at work constantly and talked to him frequently. You never had NC. YOU did that. YOU chose that. You had the option of kicking him out and never answering his calls, but instead, you chose to keep him around. You never let him go, much less 'a long time ago'. That's lie #1.

 

You know what he's told her. You've spent the last couple of days in conversation with MM where he's explained the lies he's told his wife and asked you to lie for him if you should speak to her. You know what he's told her. Lie #2.

 

You're not sorry you didn't answer her calls. You wanted to confer with MM so you know what he told her and what was going on between them before you decided to talk to her. You're not sorry you didn't answer. Lie #3.

 

This woman doesn't need to hear more lies.

[hopeless4u]

just don't be letting anything come out of your ass.... Your head is OK...

 

On that note I need to go to bed, its midnight here and I'm up at 6 for work.

 

I've heard nothing tonight from either of them and I've not sent any mad, lying to myself txt's to anyone so day 1 is good:D

 

Thank you everyone for keeping me sane and focussed, I'll catch up and fill in tomorrow.

 

xx

[2sunny]

well sleep well, no more help from me is needed as i can see by your evidence that you seem incapable of being honest with yourself. i feel sad for you, and angry that you wasted my time with your lies as well.

[NoIDidn't]

On that note I need to go to bed, its midnight here and I'm up at 6 for work.

 

I've heard nothing tonight from either of them and I've not sent any mad, lying to myself txt's to anyone so day 1 is good:D

 

Thank you everyone for keeping me sane and focussed, I'll catch up and fill in tomorrow.

 

xx

 

Well, have a good night (as much as you can, I'm sure)!!!

[awkward]

On that note I need to go to bed, its midnight here and I'm up at 6 for work.

 

I've heard nothing tonight from either of them and I've not sent any mad, lying to myself txt's to anyone so day 1 is good:D

 

Thank you everyone for keeping me sane and focussed, I'll catch up and fill in tomorrow.

 

xx

 

 

Whaaaat? I just read yesterday's thread and moved on to today's. I figured by the 4th page or so things would have moved on to "now you can heal" or "it's finally over" type posts. But you are going to bed? When are you going to do the right thing? Tomorrow?

 

Staying silent isn't doing any favors for the BS. She has attempted to speak with you and you avoided her. You are letting MM portray you and this affair (LIE) anyway he wants to. Maybe you are crazy or maybe you won't let him go or maybe it's all in your head.... There is no telling what he is telling his BS, but I guarantee you that it isn't the truth. Oh and I'm pretty sure he isn't painting a pretty picture of you while backing up that bus. You can't believe anything that he has told you. He is a LIAR.

 

Stop protecting him and your affair. Sure you are sorry for hurting his BS but not sorry enough to give her the truth. Why is that? Because once you do your affair is OVER. That is all your silence is about because you believe that if she throws him out that he might come to you. That isn't going to happen. Deep down you don't want that to happen.

 

This is so simple and you are making it so hard. Your focus should not be on MM right now. You need to worry about yourself and your healing. Own your part, tell the truth, apologize, request NC, and move on.

[pureinheart]

On that note I need to go to bed, its midnight here and I'm up at 6 for work.

 

I've heard nothing tonight from either of them and I've not sent any mad, lying to myself txt's to anyone so day 1 is good:D

 

Thank you everyone for keeping me sane and focussed, I'll catch up and fill in tomorrow.

 

xx

 

Hey, try to take care...I think you are smart in weighing everything...you don't owe anybody anything...this was his M and what is forgotten is that you hurt too....and guess who is the common demonimator of the pain....

[sugarmomma]

Wow. I guess your heart really didn't break for her.

 

I can't believe you have allowed this to go on another whole day. All that talk yesterday about how you were not going to lie for him.

 

What did you do? Lie for him. He knows that you are a foolish woman and he continues to play you for the fool you are.

 

You are no better than him. You two deserve each other so he can do the same thing to you. You wasted everyone's time today and yesterday with your drama.

 

Just a HEARTLESS DRAMA QUEEN!

 

You guys know I say how I feel, straight up with no chaser.

[awkward]

 

I posted on here to understand and I know he reads my posts so maybe some of the answers could make him see sense. I know most will think I'm bitter but it was me who ended things and partly because of the way his W is being mislead and obviously because he is still in his M.

 

Is your MM still reading here? Like maybe MM reads your posts and knows that you are contemplating telling his wife the truth. Then you back off saying maybe it is better if you don't tell the truth. Then you say maybe you will.

 

Does MM contact you when you post that you might tell his BS the truth?

 

I'm not saying you are using this forum as a means for contact with him, but am wondering if he is contacting you about the things you post here.

 

Also, I was wondering what happened to MM's thread? I could have sworn that I posted a reply to him but don't see it in my posts.

 

IMO you are still scared to lose him even though you know it is best for you. When he stays with his wife and does NC on you, then you will probably get pissed and wish that you would have been honest with his BS. By then though, it will be too late. His BS will have already bought "his story" and will not believe you. Especially if you prefer to tell her lies like "it's been over", etc. It's still not over.

Edited December 17, 2009 by awkward
Added quote for clarification

[whichwayisup]

Bottomline is this..You aren't really ready to talk to her, that's a fact. Your mind is spinning and you really don't want to admit to yourself that the A will COMPLETELY end in every way if you DO tell her the truth.

 

Sure, maybe you aren't having sex with him (how long has it been since you've had sex?), but you are still having an emotional affair and abit of kissing, cuddling going on. That is far from over.. Maybe you aren't ready to face the fallout and consquences..

[NoIDidn't]

Is your MM still reading here? Like maybe MM reads your posts and knows that you are contemplating telling his wife the truth. Then you back off saying maybe it is better if you don't tell the truth. Then you say maybe you will.

 

Does MM contact you when you post that you might tell his BS the truth?

 

I'm not saying you are using this forum as a means for contact with him, but am wondering if he is contacting you about the things you post here.

 

Also, I was wondering what happened to MM's thread? I could have sworn that I posted a reply to him but don't see it in my posts.

 

IMO you are still scared to lose him even though you know it is best for you. When he stays with his wife and does NC on you, then you will probably get pissed and wish that you would have been honest with his BS. By then though, it will be too late. His BS will have already bought "his story" and will not believe you. Especially if you prefer to tell her lies like "it's been over", etc. It's still not over.

 

I had completely forgotten about this.

 

Talk about manipulative.

 

This guy really does have our OP snowed and fearful of losing NOTHING, because that's what she has right now.

 

I always thought it was creepy that he was reading her posts. And with all this (supposedly) happening, it takes on a whole new meaning.

 

 

I just hope this forum and the responses of anyone in support of telling the BW aren't being used against the W in this case. It would just about be the cruelest form of gaslighting I have ever witnessed.

[whichwayisup]

It could not only the NC that is going to happen if she does talk to his wife, but the NC will stick forever as the MM won't ever speak to her again, let alone let her in on what's going on in his marriage, with his wife.. In some sort of way it IS drama, and addictive like the affair..

 

If his wife didn't want to know, you'd be off the hook..But she DOES want to know. She's called, texted.. You owe her the respect reguardless of what you lose (him forever).

[norajane]

You owe her the respect reguardless of what you lose (him forever).

 

Oh, she's not going to lose anything. She never had him, so she can't lose him. Blow through all the drama and all she ever had was a lousy cheater who was never going to leave his wife. She gains by ridding herself of this toxic weasel.