sweetjasmine Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Now we have a new text...."Just so you know I want nothing from you I just thought you had a right to know. I'm very sorry for even telling you now just for the fact that you couldnot be a man and discuss this very horrible situation with me. But I am going to do this on my own so please don't worry about me or this issue. ". Hmmmm maybe it was a bluff. But now I wonder if I will have a kid somewhere in the world in 9 months... Heh. That sounds like the classic self-pity-guilt-trip. I bet if you don't respond to that, she'll move on to the "you're a big f-ing jerk!" stage. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Ya I'm going to ignore.. But now it's making me wonder if she's not gona keep this child and not talk to me at all... And I'll never know n stuff.. FWIW- I think she's getting ALMOST exactly the result she's hoping too. She's got you thinking about her, speculating, she's got you worried and wondering, and she hopes it will break you down enough to finally contact her; justifying to yourself that you wouldn't want to find out later she was pregnant and aborted it and you had no say in the matter. I think that's a perfectly natural response; and that's why her and women like her who exploit such things as the innocence of a child to gain control and get their way are no no's. Honestly, women like this need to just get sterilized because the horrible morals and values they will pass on to their children..ugh. I'm sorry to be tough on you Lynx but how did you ever get into a relationship with her again, not once but twice after she did this before? How were you EVER able to trust a human being who would do such an evil, thoughtless and vile thing? How did it not make you say "Okay something is really wrong with this unstable person, and she is going to drag me right down along with her if I don't get out." ? Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Now we have a new text...."Just so you know I want nothing from you I just thought you had a right to know. I'm very sorry for even telling you now just for the fact that you couldnot be a man and discuss this very horrible situation with me. But I am going to do this on my own so please don't worry about me or this issue. ". Hmmmm maybe it was a bluff. But now I wonder if I will have a kid somewhere in the world in 9 months... I think it's now officially confirmed it was a bluff. As soon as I read "So please don't worry about me or this issue." I went yep, tag it and bag it boys! We got a real live bull****! EDIT: Newsflash Lynx, she's just spinning the wheel hoping one of her sick and desperate acts is going to strike the nerve in you. I agree whole heartedly with you that she has not from the start, acted at all the way someone who was REALLY in this situation would of handled it differently from the get go, and they wouldn't need to include 30 million "feel sorry for me, it's all your fault" texts. It's pretty obvious she's full of balogni. If you really NEED to clear your mind, I would inform her that you want her to take a pregnancy test with you and see if she obliges, and you sit RIGHT there (trust me I have KNOWN girls who did the old swaparoo). I'll be surprised if you even get as far as that, but if you do at least she can't claim 3 months down the line when she ISN'T pregnant with a fetus that simply she aborted or miscarried because YOU wouldn't talk to her (I don't put it past her to do that either) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 Now I'm really confused.... I'm pretty sure if was a bluff.. But the. My mind does the what if? What if she is, and she keeps this child... And I never ever know about it... I kinda would feel etter if I confronted her with a pregnancy test, but then I have to worry about her "winning" and getting the contact she wanted, or her getting to see me.. So I can hear all the lies of change and she's different now, so I can see her cry, and be sad, and tell me she wants me back. Or so she can sit and tell me how happy she is without me.. And gloat about her "happiness" since our break up.. Justto rub it all in my face to make me feel like dirt.. I really think it was a bluff... Because she would/should have acted Soooo different if that was the case... She would have beenfreaking out.. And would have been at my door.. Atleast that's what I think tho Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Now I'm really confused.... I'm pretty sure if was a bluff.. But the. My mind does the what if? What if she is, and she keeps this child... And I never ever know about it... I kinda would feel etter if I confronted her with a pregnancy test, but then I have to worry about her "winning" and getting the contact she wanted, or her getting to see me.. So I can hear all the lies of change and she's different now, so I can see her cry, and be sad, and tell me she wants me back. Or so she can sit and tell me how happy she is without me.. And gloat about her "happiness" since our break up.. Justto rub it all in my face to make me feel like dirt.. I really think it was a bluff... Because she would/should have acted Soooo different if that was the case... She would have beenfreaking out.. And would have been at my door.. Atleast that's what I think tho I agree with you. This woman is really cruel to do this to you. As I said earlier, to her credit her plan is working. It has you confused, and she's gone straight for the achilles heel; no thought spared. As you know already she hasn't changed, I mean you DO know that right? That letter she wrote where she blamed everything on you and took no responsibility for ANY of her actions? That was the biggest proof you'll ever need that she has not changed; followed by her newest stunt. Since it worked twice in the past and she was able to get your attention I do believe that's why she's doing it again. I don't think anyone who really had a child to take care of would act this childish and ridiculous "I just want you to know I'm doing this on my own so don't worry about me or it". The next thing you know she'll be dying from Lukemia two weeks from now. Just remember that, the way you're reacting? It's what she wants because you taught her by accepting and tolerating this behavior twice in the past that it IS a means to get what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 I agree with you. This woman is really cruel to do this to you. As I said earlier, to her credit her plan is working. It has you confused, and she's gone straight for the achilles heel; no thought spared. As you know already she hasn't changed, I mean you DO know that right? That letter she wrote where she blamed everything on you and took no responsibility for ANY of her actions? That was the biggest proof you'll ever need that she has not changed; followed by her newest stunt. Since it worked twice in the past and she was able to get your attention I do believe that's why she's doing it again. I don't think anyone who really had a child to take care of would act this childish and ridiculous "I just want you to know I'm doing this on my own so don't worry about me or it". The next thing you know she'll be dying from Lukemia two weeks from now. Just remember that, the way you're reacting? It's what she wants because you taught her by accepting and tolerating this behavior twice in the past that it IS a means to get what she wants. Well I'm going to go ahead and keep up the no contact then and see what happens. I don't think this is how a person who is pregnant should be handling this situation, so I'm pretty sure it's fake. I hope it is. I just don't understand.. These little stunts have push me SO FAR AWAY it's not even funny.. There was a point wherei thought this NC thing would never get easy.. Honestly right now.. I'm almost to the point where I don't care anymore Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Well I'm going to go ahead and keep up the no contact then and see what happens. I don't think this is how a person who is pregnant should be handling this situation, so I'm pretty sure it's fake. I hope it is. I just don't understand.. These little stunts have push me SO FAR AWAY it's not even funny.. There was a point wherei thought this NC thing would never get easy.. Honestly right now.. I'm almost to the point where I don't care anymore I'll bet. You are starting to see her for what she is without the blinders on anymore. Where she once could manipulate you and use your emotions against you to wield power, you are putting your foot down and starting to see how unattractive and undesirable behavior like that is, and that it is not what you want in a wife or mother for your children. Good for you on warding off her manipulative advances, that is really commendable. People use manipulation because it works, and it works well..and it's not easy by any means to resist it but you're doing just that. It's not easy but good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
ecm Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Well I'm going to go ahead and keep up the no contact then and see what happens. I don't think this is how a person who is pregnant should be handling this situation, so I'm pretty sure it's fake. I hope it is. I just don't understand.. These little stunts have push me SO FAR AWAY it's not even funny.. There was a point wherei thought this NC thing would never get easy.. Honestly right now.. I'm almost to the point where I don't care anymore I can see where both approaches are effective. 1)If you keep NC, and she's lying, she'll go NUTS that you aren't responding. Even though I know sometimes that is the best thing to do, it is hard to be strong. 2) If you are having trouble b/c you still love her, meeting her and catching her in a huge lie MIGHT be good. It may be the last straw; the thing that makes you realize how bad she is for you I'm just not very patient, so I would usually tend to pick the second choice. But I know that the first choice is probably the better choice. Hoping2heal: you seem very level headed and wise good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 Don't know if it means anything but I just had a dream that I confronted her with a pregnancy test and a bottle of water and she was very reluctant to take it. Idk... This is only a dream. But still I wonder if she really is pregnant, and if she is going to be so cold, and not confront me with it... I think that she should have tried harder to get in touch with me if she really was pregnant, but what if she is... And she's not going to try and find me.. She has this kid... And never tells me... Edit: just talkedto my dad.. Especially after te text she sent me last night he thinks it's crap too, that he just wants me to call her because she feels she can sucker me back in if she is able to talk to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 But now I am kinda worried... Because now looking on the outside she seems like the type that would be all excited to get some sort of a "free ride" by having this kid. And she's already told me she doesn't believe in abortion. This will all just really suck, since of course she probably won't work, and I'll be stuck paying child support until he kid turns 18, I'll never have a thing.. She's the type that will be angry with me, and I won't ever get to be a part of the kids life, she will bring it up to hate me.. And ahh I can just see it already... Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 why are you not around there right now with a test to sort this out? You are wasting time on an internet site and this is your real life! Go and sort it one way or another and if she is lying just change your number and delete her out of your whole future! Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Dont meet up with her, she will stop after a while. Once she stops you will know shes full of it. She's prolly knocked up by someone else anyway and wants to pin it on you. Screw her. Wait it out. No face to face meetings. Link to post Share on other sites
ecm Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 I agree. If this is going to consume your life, you need an answer. I would suggest meeting her at a coffee shop or someplace public with a bathroom. Remember- don't tell her you are bringing the test. Meet her- whip out your test when she "forgets" hers. She might try to tell you she'll take it after you "talk". Tell her the only way you'll talk (which you should NOT anyway) is after she takes the test. If she takes it, you'll know the result. If she refuses, you'll have your answer. Either way, unless she actually is pregnant, you have nothing further to discuss. Actually, bring 2 tests b/c she might try to say "Gee- I dont know what happened...." when the first one is negative. She is lying. I'll bet you my house, and all of my shoes and purses that she is lying. So, to put an end to the wondering... just meet her, prove she is lying (and NUTS) and then walk out of the store, get in your car...and don't look back.... good luck. Maybe hire a police escort. Or go to a donut shop instead of a coffee shop. Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 I agree. If this is going to consume your life, you need an answer. I would suggest meeting her at a coffee shop or someplace public with a bathroom. Remember- don't tell her you are bringing the test. Meet her- whip out your test when she "forgets" hers. She might try to tell you she'll take it after you "talk". Tell her the only way you'll talk (which you should NOT anyway) is after she takes the test. If she takes it, you'll know the result. If she refuses, you'll have your answer. Either way, unless she actually is pregnant, you have nothing further to discuss. Actually, bring 2 tests b/c she might try to say "Gee- I dont know what happened...." when the first one is negative. She is lying. I'll bet you my house, and all of my shoes and purses that she is lying. So, to put an end to the wondering... just meet her, prove she is lying (and NUTS) and then walk out of the store, get in your car...and don't look back.... good luck. Maybe hire a police escort. Or go to a donut shop instead of a coffee shop. If this is really going to eat at you (and I understand) I would offer to MEET her at a doctors office. Which means you don't pick her up to take her there..you meet her at the doctors office INSIDE (make it clear that you will only meet her INSIDE). You will be in a public place and you can treat it like a business meeting. Tell her that is the only way you will meet with her to discuss this no if's and's or but's. You must strive to make this neutral and be very curt in your responses; i.e give her NO I mean absolutely NONE leeway to jerk you around with her crying or pouting or other false BS she's good at. I know for a fact you do NOT need to wait and schedule an appt. I have accompanied several friends on a walk in visit to see if they were prego, you'll have an answer within an hour or so possibly before you even LEAVE the facility, and you can arrange to have them contact YOU personally with the results. That way you don't even need to be in contact with her. I would make her do it right away also, I wouldn't give her a few days to try and GET prego (I just see her doing that, call me paranoid). Be very strict with her, completely brief and callous. Otherwise she will use the first sign of compassion you show AGAINST you and say "ha ha sucker". Again, only do this if you know you NEED to know and do it as soon as possible. I think the dream was just re inforcing what you already know deep down inside and that it's a lie; but if you want real proof and need that.... Like I said tell her you will meet at the Dr's one time. If she doesn't show up, or has an excuse? Tell her too bad so sad and STICK to that. Be strict with her NO lee way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 Just got a new text "really still your not going to say anything" Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Just got a new text "really still your not going to say anything" LOL AKA : *Her scratching head* Why isn't this working? Oh man I'm so glad for you that you are rid of this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 Im actually banking on her showing up at my house today, since she knows im off and no one will be here... If thats the case.. im telling her to get in the car were going to the hospital for a test, i will pay i dont care. If she refuses i will kindly ask her to leave my house, if she refuses then.. i will tell her ok i asked nicely, now, leave, or i will call the police. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 LOL AKA : *Her scratching head* Why isn't this working? Oh man I'm so glad for you that you are rid of this girl. Me to... i am SO ANGRY, at myself that i let this continue long after all the reality checks i had. I have learned SO MUCH from the relationship, so very much, so even now im still glad it happened, but damn.. i was HUGE fool... And whats funny... i used to look at her face book and get all depressed again. Just looked... no affect... she also has added tons of guys on there already... i actually laughed a little bit Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Im actually banking on her showing up at my house today, since she knows im off and no one will be here... If thats the case.. im telling her to get in the car were going to the hospital for a test, i will pay i dont care. If she refuses i will kindly ask her to leave my house, if she refuses then.. i will tell her ok i asked nicely, now, leave, or i will call the police. Good for you! I don't know what a good idea it is to actually get in the car with her but you gotta do what you gotta do, right? But I agree, let her hang herself. You notice she's supposedly pregnant and can't get you to take her seriously..so does she try calling a few times? Sounding worried? No, of course not. Just "really? you're still not going to say anything?" Kudos, I'm sure you have her majorly confused as to why this trick worked twice before in the past but isn't now. I hope she doesn't show up at your house, but if she does YES, stick your foot down and give her no other option, she makes an excuse whatsoever, no matter what it is, like I said; to bad so sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 Good for you! I don't know what a good idea it is to actually get in the car with her but you gotta do what you gotta do, right? But I agree, let her hang herself. You notice she's supposedly pregnant and can't get you to take her seriously..so does she try calling a few times? Sounding worried? No, of course not. Just "really? you're still not going to say anything?" Kudos, I'm sure you have her majorly confused as to why this trick worked twice before in the past but isn't now. I hope she doesn't show up at your house, but if she does YES, stick your foot down and give her no other option, she makes an excuse whatsoever, no matter what it is, like I said; to bad so sad. Oh definately. She has called me, one time, left voicemail. Sounded COMPLETELY normal, not like someone who was just given traumatic news. Other than that, nothing, just these texts. If she comes here, the option is, pregnancy test, or get away from me. No talking, no sob story, i really dont care about anything she has to say. I just put my towns police department number in my phone, i am done with this girl. I am done being made a fool of. I am so embarassed for myself, and i refuse to feel that way anymore, im done! Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Me to... i am SO ANGRY, at myself that i let this continue long after all the reality checks i had. I have learned SO MUCH from the relationship, so very much, so even now im still glad it happened, but damn.. i was HUGE fool... And whats funny... i used to look at her face book and get all depressed again. Just looked... no affect... she also has added tons of guys on there already... i actually laughed a little bit I agree it wasn't all for nothing because you l earned very valuable lessons out of it. I'm just glad you've been smart and haven't made excuses for her BS any longer. LOL@her adding tons of guys. I bet you kinda thought "Oh, those poor guys" Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Oh definately. She has called me, one time, left voicemail. Sounded COMPLETELY normal, not like someone who was just given traumatic news. Other than that, nothing, just these texts. If she comes here, the option is, pregnancy test, or get away from me. No talking, no sob story, i really dont care about anything she has to say. I just put my towns police department number in my phone, i am done with this girl. I am done being made a fool of. I am so embarassed for myself, and i refuse to feel that way anymore, im done! Ooh you go lynx! Get down with ya bad self. Testify. Can I get a witness! Deliverance from the bunny boilers! Oh lawdy! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 I agree it wasn't all for nothing because you l earned very valuable lessons out of it. I'm just glad you've been smart and haven't made excuses for her BS any longer. LOL@her adding tons of guys. I bet you kinda thought "Oh, those poor guys" Pretty much, let her ruin someone elses life, i dont need it anymore. A week ago... i was omg.. what if i see her with someone else... im gona miss her so much... ya.. that was stupid. Now ill probably smile from ear to ear, since she will be out of my hair. In a way... im glad shes doing this to me.. she is making this breakup so much easier on me its not even funny.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lynx331 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 Ooh you go lynx! Get down with ya bad self. Testify. Can I get a witness! Deliverance from the bunny boilers! Oh lawdy! Hahahaha i used to listen to a song and i didnt quite understand part of it.. (stand by rascal flatts) You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off Then you Stand" I understand it now, you can only have so much dirt kicked in your face for so long.. till even the most easy going person says alright, back off. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 he does not know for sure that its a lie, that is just an eductaed guess and this subject is far too serious for any doubt to be there! We are talking about a baby, a human life and Lynx's future too so this should not be about a no contact game as this point it should be about finding out the truth for sure and then dealing with it in the right way. The truth is what matters here Lynx, call her and arrange to meet her and pre warn her you have a test Link to post Share on other sites
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