What the hell is going on here?

[yogi-mon]

it sounds like, on some level, she might actually like you. or enjoy ****ing with your mind at least.

let her call u... i might even break plans w/ her... if you do that, and she does like you, chances

r she will be calling u again.

 

but then again - i dont condone or support the use of "games" in any context, I just dont

want to see you get so bloody walked on.

And stop tabulating what is going on!!!! do something to get ur mind off her.

Read a book, whatever - just dont spend SO much time focusing on this girl.

 

The more time you spend thinking about her, and calculating everything -- i mean seriously

you can try to understand women in a calculated way --- IT WILL FAIL women

have basically no logical pattern when they are interested in a guy. So dont try.

Just be yourself, focus on YOUR life, and she will either make herself available in such

a way that it is VERY VERY obvious, or not.

 

no offense, but if some chick whipped out a calendar of all the daily patterns of who called who, I would seriously laugh at her and tell her to GET A LIFE

[Torntoshreds]

Here's a better idea:

 

About 10 minutes after she was supposed to call, leave a message on your answering machine that says,

 

"I've gone to see a movie with some great folks - please leave a message at the beep."

 

 

Let her know that she isn't the only person who enjoys your company. If she wants to share you, she's going to have to get on the ball.

 

(Okay - so if going to the movies with pals isn't totally true - Go alone. I'm sure there will still be some "Great folks" in the theater somewhere - she doesn't have to know that you *personally don't know these people.)

[WWDDFD]

Originally posted by yogi-mon

it sounds like, on some level, she might actually like you. or enjoy ****ing with your mind at least.

let her call u... i might even break plans w/ her... if you do that, and she does like you, chances

r she will be calling u again.

 

but then again - i dont condone or support the use of "games" in any context, I just dont

want to see you get so bloody walked on.

And stop tabulating what is going on!!!! do something to get ur mind off her.

Read a book, whatever - just dont spend SO much time focusing on this girl.

 

The more time you spend thinking about her, and calculating everything -- i mean seriously

you can try to understand women in a calculated way --- IT WILL FAIL women

have basically no logical pattern when they are interested in a guy. So dont try.

Just be yourself, focus on YOUR life, and she will either make herself available in such

a way that it is VERY VERY obvious, or not.

 

no offense, but if some chick whipped out a calendar of all the daily patterns of who called who, I would seriously laugh at her and tell her to GET A LIFE

 

 

About calculating and tabulating... I can't help it; that's how my mind works. Mathematics and engineering is what I excel in.

 

Also, this is the first time in the past 5 years that I've had nothing to do; I've always been too busy with school and writing to do anything else, so this sudden switch into an empty schedule has me very disoriented. I dunno. Thanks for the advice though.

[WWDDFD]

And of course she doesn't call...

 

 

fine, I give up. I'll just be a dateless loser for the rest of my life. It's worked just fine for me so far.

 

 

Women: You're all psychotic.

 

 

 

[moimeme]

Hang on just one second.

 

One oddball gives you her number. Acts completely bizarrely. We all tell you to not bother with her because she's behaving badly. You ignore the advice and 'persist' even though we're telling you she does not sound like a good deal. Then, when she turns out to be just what we say, you get mad at all women!!!!!

 

Maybe next time you ask if some wierdo sounds like a wierdo and people tell you she does, you'll listen!

 

hmph.

[Girlie]

I know it's hard when you're interested in someone, but just let it go for a while. If you insist on keeping in touch with this girl, let her keep in touch with you. I think someone else said it...but if she doesn't call when she's supposed to, don't call her. Most importantly, work on the confidence. I know it's tough....believe me. I've been in self-esteem counseling ever since I can remember. But just because you've never had a date does not mean you're not worthy of one. Come on now. Obviously this girl saw something she liked if she gave you the number. Even if she doesn't follow through, that should let you know that there are people who are interested in you. Keep looking. If this one doesn't click, there will be one who does.

[WWDDFD]

Originally posted by moimeme

Hang on just one second.

 

One oddball gives you her number. Acts completely bizarrely. We all tell you to not bother with her because she's behaving badly. You ignore the advice and 'persist' even though we're telling you she does not sound like a good deal. Then, when she turns out to be just what we say, you get mad at all women!!!!!

 

Maybe next time you ask if some wierdo sounds like a wierdo and people tell you she does, you'll listen!

 

hmph.

 

 

I'm sorry, I apologize. It's taken me four weeks of being jerked around to finally get angry and I snapped.

 

[moimeme]

Sounds like you have a lot to offer. Go find yourself a woman who has the good sense to recognize that and who will make a genuine effort to be in a relationship with you. You deserve that! And good luck to you

[WWDDFD]

I'm going to leave one last message; any suggestions? This is what I have planned:

 

"You're confusing me so I'm going to just stop calling until you tell me what the heck is going on. I give up trying to figure you out. Take care."

[Torntoshreds]

Sure -- go ahead and call her again -- if you want to be CERTAIN she will never want to see you ever again.

 

 

Do not send her anymore phone calls -- that means messages too.

 

 

The more you obsess over her, the more desperate you appear. Girls get creeped out if they think someone is stalking them.

 

At this point SHE needs to call YOU. If she doesn't .....move on!

[Leikela]

I would recommend NOT calling her again. Why give her the satisfaction of closure? What did she do to deserve that? She'll get the hint when you stop calling her.

 

Also, your statement implies that you want an explanation for her behavior and hope that you can work it out. I think you're better off without her, frankly. You CAN do better. Since you said you were shy, have you tried internet dating? A lot of people have had a lot of success with it. It's worth a try. Forget about this other girl. She lost out, now you move on and don't give her a second look.

[WWDDFD]

ok.

[WWDDFD]

maybe there's something wrong with me; but as hard as I try, I just can't stop thinking about her. I'm so new at this, is this normal? How can I stop? No matter what I do, excersize, movies, reading, work, etc, I can't get her out of my mind for a minute.

 

Should I seek help for this? I feel like I'm a freaking teenager for some reason.

[lostforwords]

Women: You're all psychotic.

 

awwwwww not all women are, she is just a bad apple..... dont think theres not a good woman out there dood cuz trust me there is....

[WWDDFD]

So she calls tonight.

 

 

She apologizes and tells me "Thanks for putting up with me.", even though I didn't mention her disappearances, or take an angry tone with her.

 

Furthermore, she says she thinks my messages are "cute".

 

 

So now what?

 

 

*slams head on table*

[lostforwords]

Dood.... it could be she just isnt as serious about this relationship as you are about it...... give it time take it slow... let her start calling you more.... and get out and do things so it gets your mind off of it!!

[moimeme]

*slams head on table*

 

Might as well get used to doing that. I suspect you'll be doing it a lot if you get into a relationship with this person.

[WWDDFD]

I figure that it's pointless to start another thread on this topic, but I've got a related question;

 

 

She's 27 years old and I'm 23; is this "weird"? I mean, I've never really been into the whole dating thing, so I'm really unsure of this whole situation. I've seen plenty of older-guy relationships, but I've never really seen any older-girl relationships before.

 

I dunno; any thoughts?

[sarah12]

Wow...wow and Wow.

 

I just read all those posts and I cannot believe you are even THINKING about still seeing this woman. First of all, like everyone said, this woman is bad news. If you think she will change, she will not. What you see is what you get. What I suspect is going on with this woman is that she is not interested in you, but enjoys the attention she gets. She has made up extremely lame excuses for not seeing you and then apologizes profusely - this is what you call a FAKE PERSON! She blows you off rudely by not calling when she says she will, breaks dates, and then when you ask her what is going on, she makes up lame excuses and goes overboard by telling you that she does really want to see you. People who are fake do this - they overcompensate for their actions.

 

Secondly, I think that you not so much interested in this girl as you are in being determined to have her. You mentioned that you always work hard and are used to math/engineering type work where you work and work until you get where you want to be. The fact that you are unable to attain this woman makes you feel inadequate because it is something that you are not used to. I forget how you originally met this woman but you cannot possibly have fallen for her so much in such a short time, and when she has been flaky 99% of the time.

 

Like everyone else has said, I think you need to take it easy a bit with women! We are just like regular people - don't put us on pedestals! And you should definitely keep meeting more women and people in general.

 

As for the question about age different - it matters only in certain situations (i.e. in much different stages of life) but I think you are both old enough that it shouldn't really make any difference. Different people have different opinions on this matter though.

 

Good luck - and sorry if this post was a bit harsh, but I think you just need to take a step back and analyze the whole thing.

[yogi-mon]

About calculating and tabulating... I can't help it; that's how my mind works. Mathematics and engineering is what I excel in.

 

Ok, listen to me very carefully, so you never make this mistake again.

Women's behaviour is something you can not I repeat NOT calculate like

a checkbook or a enginneering problem.

 

And no, the age thing is NOT weird. At least half (or more) of the women I've dated

have been older.

[moimeme]

Women's behaviour is something you can not I repeat NOT calculate like

a checkbook or a enginneering problem.

 

LOL

 

Excellent point, Yogi!

 

 

Moimeme, minus modem

[WWDDFD]

*grumble*

 

so she didn't call as she said.

 

That's it, I'm done.

[KitKat21]

Originally posted by moimeme

Might as well get used to doing that. I suspect you'll be doing it a lot if you get into a relationship with this person.

 

Amen to that Moimeme-LOL!! This chick is seriously into head games and seeing how far she can push you,and your falling right into her trap!! She sure as fuc* don't act like shes' 27 but 17--Move on and let her go!!!

[andreautick]

Way to go, not calling her. You DO sound like you have a lot to offer, but you DO need to build up your confidence in order to get someone you find attractive. Maybe you need to focus more on the things you are good at, or lose weight (I used to be fat, and I know what a big difference in makes...and you talked about it like you aren't comfortable with it). If you don't have a lady in your life, you may have time to focus on self-improvement which will make YOU feel good about YOU and will, as a result, make you more attractive to the opposite sex. Counseling is even good...I've gone to a counselor for awhile even though I have no huge problems, and it's just a good way to hear a rational voice and sort through confidence issues.

 

Also, practice just walking up to women and talking to them. A lot of women expect men to talk to them first. Try it, you'd be surprised. I know I, and a lot of my friends, have a rule that we'll go on a first date with any guy who makes the effort to ask (unless he's a serial killer, rapist, etc.). And, something can blossom from that.

 

But yeah, this chick is nucking futs. Definitely. Steer clear. Think of the ideal woman you want...inside and outside. Don't settle for less. Sometimes qualities you want will be hidden and yuou'll have to take the time to dig and find them, but don't waste your time on mean girls/strange girls. Those qualities won't be there no matter how hard you dig.

 

You won't be a single loser forever. I've never met someone who hasn't had love in their life by the age of 30. I mean, they may be out there, but most people find love. And, remember, love happens to you when you least expect it. My current love happenned when I was fat, was having skin problems, and just got a horrible haircut. Keep your chin up and remember your good qualities.

 

Good luck:)

[WWDDFD]

Well it's been a week since my last update; and you're probably all going to call me crazy for continuing this charade... but ... eh.

 

 

here's the latest:

 

 

Saturday:

- text message: "Hey its ***; if you called last night Im sorry I wasn't in.

Anyway, I have some last-minute editing to do for the book so I'll be here

tonight"

- She calls around 7pm; says "this is getting crazy; we're definitely getting

together this week". says she'll call again later tonight, since she's on lunch now.

- Doesn't call back, but I think it's okay; she *was* working until 3am, so she

probably got busy

- I leave a text message at 1:30am, "goodnight; I work until 8pm tomorrow if you

want to call"

 

 

Week 5:

Sunday:

- nothing

 

Monday:

- nothing

 

Tuesday:

- 3:30pm I send a text message: "I'll be back home around 7pm for the rest of the evening-

Sorry I disappeared"

- 11pm she calls, says we're definitely getting together tomorrow. Says she'll

call in the morning

 

Wednesday:

- no call by 1pm, I leave a message asking if we're still on.

- she calls at 2:15; says she's getting a friend to move a treadmill she just

bought, she'll call at 3:30 and we'll go out at 4pm.

- she calls at 3:20... says "you're going to kill me; I have to cancel." She

needs to do a favor for her friend who helped her with the treadmill; promises

to call tomorrow at noon and we'll do something. Apologizes profusely, says she's

sorry for being such a numbskull (when she bought the treadmill, she forgot that

she had no way to get it home, so she had to get someone to lend her a truck)

- at this point, I'm almost certain she won't call tomorrow

 

Thursday:

- to my surprise, she does call. About 12:30 thereabouts. Says she doesn't want to

go out because it would be rushed, since she has to go to work tonight; but, she'll still

meet me today if I *really* want to; she really wants to go out on her day off though,

so we'll have more time. I said "okay, we don't have to meet today". I think this is a good sign?

Says she'll call later tonight (I doubt it), tomorrow (doubt it) or saturday (doubt it).

- no call tonight

 

Friday:

- no call

 

 

It's now saturday; so we'll see what happens.

 

 

I dunno. I think I'm getting the vibe that she's just absent-minded at times... which is ok in my book; I'm the same exact way!