Talk about your attitude toward your current relationship/non-relationship status

[xpaperxcutx]

Single by choice. But I will choose dating multiple people as opposed to settling with one person.

 

Relationships are difficult for me, I tried it and came out feeling used. It's hard always trying to impress an SO, I couldn't be myself and had to constantly put on an act so he couldn't see my flaws. I basically became a doormat. I become massively clingy and could never say no.

 

That kind of experience really turned me off to giving myself entirely to one person. I don't want the responsibilities of caring for another person who will only take me for granted.

 

Sure, it does get uncomfortable seeing my friends' with their SO's, but I've also seen them go through painful heartaches. The end just doesn't justify wasting time on a person who will hurt you.

[Isolde]

Part of it, I swear, is because I'm happier, and I think it's showing. But my mind set is completely different this time around. My dating break was quite beneficial.

 

May I add... I went on several dates, and I didn't over analyze any of them

 

How did your mind set change besides just being happier with yourself?

[dreamergrl]

How did your mind set change besides just being happier with yourself?

 

I learned to let go of a lot of things. One day (I think it was my first week here), I was taking a two mile walk. Something just felt better all around. I didn't feel nagged by my past errors and mistakes. I felt good about being me. And proud of the changes I've made. It was a very refreshing change. And as I let go, a lot of my worries went with. If that makes any sense.

[OpenBook]

I am deeply grateful for my precious freedom. When I see others hooking up together, I'm happy for them... and I think, "There but for the grace of God, go I."

[Isolde]

I learned to let go of a lot of things. One day (I think it was my first week here), I was taking a two mile walk. Something just felt better all around. I didn't feel nagged by my past errors and mistakes. I felt good about being me. And proud of the changes I've made. It was a very refreshing change. And as I let go, a lot of my worries went with. If that makes any sense.

 

Yeah, worries are what I need to make go away.

[WineCountry]

How many of you choose to be single, and why?

 

I dont choose to be single..it's just the way it is right now.

 

How many of you are green eyed when you know of friends with new SOs? Why?

 

Well my eyes are naturally green. But seriously, if their relationship is HEALTHY, I might look at them wistfully. but if it's not healthy, I think thank God that's not me.

 

How do you feel about your current relationship/non-relationship status?

 

 

Well since i cant snap my fingers and change it, i just deal with things as they happen.

[dreamergrl]

Yeah, worries are what I need to make go away.

 

Well for me, I had to start forgiving myself for my mistakes in the past. Accept that I can't control everything else, only but what my actions are.

[dcdrums]

How do I feel about not ever being in a relationship or not even dating at all? Pretty much helpless.

[tigressA]

I ended what was my longest relationship by far (1 yr. 9 mos.) a few weeks ago, and I'm happy about it. I'm having fun shamelessly flirting with any cute guy I meet, and I have a big crush on one of my co-workers right now that most likely isn't going to go anywhere, but oh well. I have that "plenty of fish in the sea" attitude going for me these days. I'm not actively looking to be in another relationship now, but if I end up really clicking with someone then I'll go for it. I think all of my friends are either in unhealthy, drama-filled relationships or are single and miserable about it, so I'm not envying any of them now. But I have been jealous of some friends before, especially in junior high and high school (didn't have my first date/first kiss/boyfriend/etc until I was 18/19, in my 1st yr. of college).

[SoulSearch_CO]

My status: "Happily Single" for the first time in my life. I have been single before, but wasn't all that happy about it. I am now. LOL I used to think I was broken or something wrong with me if I couldn't be in a relationship. I really couldn't care less right now.

 

I was married for 4-1/2 years (together for 6 years), was divorced (August '08) for 5 months before getting into a new relationship, now I've been single for a couple weeks and freaking loving it. I don't have to deal with any drama, I don't have to try to make anyone else happy. I can do my own thing without running it by anyone.

 

I really wouldn't be opposed to like going out and having fun with somebody (no, I don't mean sex), but I don't want anything serious any time soon.

[tinklebell]

Thanks for the varied replies.

 

As for me, I miss being in a relationship. I'm highly independent but as BCCA put it, the older you get, the more you stand out from the couples out there. That means if I didn't have to look at so many of these lovebirds, I'll probably not feel as left out as I did.

 

I know the realities of relationships, that they aren't a bed of roses. But I still want in. I'm not throwing everything away just looking for love, but I would really want to be a part of it again.

[tinklebell]

Some of you said you don't feel envious toward your friends' relationships because either you don't expect them to last or they are dysfunctional in some ways (my words, not anyone else's). But people I know or are close to seem to have the best relationships (not perfect but they're still good). So I want in too.

 

If I were abused by an ex husband or had gone through a terrible ordeal in a relationship, I would probably not want to touch it with a six-foot pole. But I don't feel like I have had an amazingly mind-blowing relationship and I want to get back in the game to find that!

[tigressA]

If I were abused by an ex husband or had gone through a terrible ordeal in a relationship, I would probably not want to touch it with a six-foot pole. But I don't feel like I have had an amazingly mind-blowing relationship and I want to get back in the game to find that!

 

I feel the same way.

[monkey00]

How many of you choose to be single, and why?

 

I'm not really sure if choosing to be single would describe me. I've been single for about a year now. Though I do leave my options open and pursue opportunities. Throughout that period I haven't met anyone that truly knocked my socks off.

 

How many of you are green eyed when you know of friends with new SOs? Why?

 

I'm not at all. My roommate and many of his friends that I know that recently started a LTR this summer. I'm happy for them. I truly believe everyone deserves some kind of happiness in their lives with whomever they choose. Only pessimistic people would place themselves in self-victimization mode.

 

Also it doesn't really bother me because I have many friends/acquaintances who are still single and we enjoy hanging out.

 

How do you feel about your current relationship/non-relationship status?

 

Currently I'm seeing someone. I like the fact that we're both busy people and don't have to live up to the expectations of a relationship. We're enjoying our time together. Though it's only natural if this progresses into something more serious.

[tinklebell]

Also it doesn't really bother me because I have many friends/acquaintances who are still single and we enjoy hanging out.

 

I have quite a few friends still available to hang out though I wonder for how long more. Terrible, I know.

[monkey00]

I have quite a few friends still available to hang out though I wonder for how long more. Terrible, I know.

 

Until they meet someone?

 

But I mean just because a friend is in a relationship doesn't mean he doesn't have a time for a social life outside of the relationship. I hang with my friends in LTR here and there, but rarely compared to my single friends.

[tinklebell]

Until they meet someone?

 

But I mean just because a friend is in a relationship doesn't mean he doesn't have a time for a social life outside of the relationship. I hang with my friends in LTR here and there, but rarely compared to my single friends.

 

 

For some reason, some of my friends are like that. They just lose themselves in the relationships. Besides there are things they will stop doing with the single friends, like they would rather go on holidays with their SOs or spend the weekends going on dates.

 

Friends in LTR will still hang out since their SOs aren't around.

[monkey00]

For some reason, some of my friends are like that. They just lose themselves in the relationships. Besides there are things they will stop doing with the single friends, like they would rather go on holidays with their SOs or spend the weekends going on dates.

 

Friends in LTR will still hang out since their SOs aren't around.

 

Yeah I know, magically that's what happens when people fall into LTR - they just disappear into the void. I have a friend who's gf works in another city sometimes for months, and often he'll call me up to do stuff when she isn't around. I suppose you can call that life.

 

Even if you had a spectacular social life before you met your SO. Somehow your social life will still turn sour at some point.

[tinklebell]

Yeah I know, magically that's what happens when people fall into LTR - they just disappear into the void. I have a friend who's gf works in another city sometimes for months, and often he'll call me up to do stuff when she isn't around. I suppose you can call that life.

 

Even if you had a spectacular social life before you met your SO. Somehow your social life will still turn sour at some point.

 

 

My mistake. I misread LTR as long-distance relationships. But most part of my previous thread was still how I felt except for "Friends in LTR will still hang out since their SOs aren't around." That sentence would apply to those in LDRs.

 

I think it's the "fear" that my friends will disappear that I want to find someone for myself. Not entirely because of that, but it's a factor.

[Thornton]

How many of you choose to be single, and why?

I have a boyfriend. I don't see the point of being single - when you're single nobody takes you out to dinner, or brings you flowers, or spends the night and keeps you company, etc. I tend to subscribe to the view that any boyfriend is better than none at all.

 

How many of you are green eyed when you know of friends with new SOs? Why?

I'm not envious of the relationship my friend might have with her new SO, because I have a good relationship with my SO, and hers is unlikely to be significantly better than mine. I am a little jealous if my friend's new SO is significantly hotter than mine; I would have preferred someone a little hotter looking than my current SO, but he's kind and interesting, stable and prepared to have kids within the next few years, so I guess you can't have everything... out of all criteria, looks are the most expendable when you're thinking about a serious relationship.

 

How do you feel about your current relationship/non-relationship status?

I'm pretty satisfied with my current relationship status. I have someone who fits a decent proportion of my criteria for a partner, who is absolutely smitten with me and brings me McDonalds at 1am if I so wish, and I never have to do the dishes. Admittedly he wouldn't make the most exciting boyfriend, and if I was several years younger I don't know if I'd be dating him, but as potential husband material he's a reasonably good catch... completely faithful, doesn't go out drinking, does the housework, wants kids with me, etc.

[hoping2heal]

How many of you choose to be single, and why?

I have a boyfriend. I don't see the point of being single - when you're single nobody takes you out to dinner, or brings you flowers, or spends the night and keeps you company, etc. I tend to subscribe to the view that any boyfriend is better than none at all.

 

How many of you are green eyed when you know of friends with new SOs? Why?

I'm not envious of the relationship my friend might have with her new SO, because I have a good relationship with my SO, and hers is unlikely to be significantly better than mine. I am a little jealous if my friend's new SO is significantly hotter than mine; I would have preferred someone a little hotter looking than my current SO, but he's kind and interesting, stable and prepared to have kids within the next few years, so I guess you can't have everything... out of all criteria, looks are the most expendable when you're thinking about a serious relationship.

 

How do you feel about your current relationship/non-relationship status?

I'm pretty satisfied with my current relationship status. I have someone who fits a decent proportion of my criteria for a partner, who is absolutely smitten with me and brings me McDonalds at 1am if I so wish, and I never have to do the dishes. Admittedly he wouldn't make the most exciting boyfriend, and if I was several years younger I don't know if I'd be dating him, but as potential husband material he's a reasonably good catch... completely faithful, doesn't go out drinking, does the housework, wants kids with me, etc.

 

And I thought I felt bad for your boyfriend when I found out your using him for a rebound ....ugh...

[SoulSearch_CO]

Oh - forgot to answer the question about other people's relationships. If I see somebody that's truly happy in a relationship, I'm happy for them, and I hope it lasts. Those things can be so hard to hold together.

[SoulSearch_CO]

How many of you choose to be single, and why?

I have a boyfriend. I don't see the point of being single - when you're single nobody takes you out to dinner, or brings you flowers, or spends the night and keeps you company, etc. I tend to subscribe to the view that any boyfriend is better than none at all.

 

How many of you are green eyed when you know of friends with new SOs? Why?

I'm not envious of the relationship my friend might have with her new SO, because I have a good relationship with my SO, and hers is unlikely to be significantly better than mine. I am a little jealous if my friend's new SO is significantly hotter than mine; I would have preferred someone a little hotter looking than my current SO, but he's kind and interesting, stable and prepared to have kids within the next few years, so I guess you can't have everything... out of all criteria, looks are the most expendable when you're thinking about a serious relationship.

 

How do you feel about your current relationship/non-relationship status?

I'm pretty satisfied with my current relationship status. I have someone who fits a decent proportion of my criteria for a partner, who is absolutely smitten with me and brings me McDonalds at 1am if I so wish, and I never have to do the dishes. Admittedly he wouldn't make the most exciting boyfriend, and if I was several years younger I don't know if I'd be dating him, but as potential husband material he's a reasonably good catch... completely faithful, doesn't go out drinking, does the housework, wants kids with me, etc.

Oh, wow. Are you being serious, or is this a joke?

[Thornton]

And I thought I felt bad for your boyfriend when I found out your using him for a rebound ....ugh...

 

I thought a rebound was where you dated someone while you got over your ex and then dumped them. I have no reason to dump this particular guy... my ex ain't coming back, and this guy is good husband material as I said.

[tkgirl]

How many of you choose to be single, and why?

 

How many of you are green eyed when you know of friends with new SOs? Why?

 

How do you feel about your current relationship/non-relationship status?

 

 

I'm single and I'd like to be in relationship, but don't want to "settle" just so I'm not alone. I've been thinking about how I really want to learn to be happy again being on my own.. I feel like I've forgetten how since I've been going through... um, whatever crap I was putting myself through just to be with someone I thought I would be so happy to be with!