Author broken hearted Posted October 19, 2009 Author Share Posted October 19, 2009 Oh MayI, I'm sorry that you have to go do that today! I am so ready for this whole nightmare to be over so I can begin to finally pick up the pieces and move forward in my life. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason but I'm starting to wonder whether all of these cancellations at the last minute are a sign... Or I'm just still holding on to a glimmer of hope for a reconciliation! Last night my husband said, "Maybe someday I'll wake up and think this was a huge mistake and want everything back." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!?? Link to post Share on other sites
Logik Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Oh MayI, I'm sorry that you have to go do that today! I am so ready for this whole nightmare to be over so I can begin to finally pick up the pieces and move forward in my life. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason but I'm starting to wonder whether all of these cancellations at the last minute are a sign... Or I'm just still holding on to a glimmer of hope for a reconciliation! Last night my husband said, "Maybe someday I'll wake up and think this was a huge mistake and want everything back." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!?? Actually, that's the first thing I thought when I read your post about the delays, but I'm a person who looks for signs everywhere. Just today I walked out of my office door onto the balcony and saw 2 dead bees lying right outside my door. It was strange because I've never seen any bees near my office. I walked along the balcony, which is pretty long, and saw that there weren't any other dead bees lying anywhere except for right outside MY office. I sat and wondered what it could mean, but it's obviously just 2 dead bees lying there. Also, 3 months ago there was a grasshopper sitting outside my office. End of winter, still cold and there's a grasshopper. Big one as well. Haven't seen a grasshopper in years and here's a huge one just sitting there. Stayed there for 3 days. Wasn't dead, just sat there. But like I said, I'm a person who looks for signs everywhere. Probably to make myself feel better or try figure something out. I think I know what the signs are telling me, but I normally get it totally wrong. When everything pans out I can see why they were shown to me. But then again, if I thought they meant something specific but they turned out to show me something totally opposite, then they could've meant anything, so in other words, they meant nothing. Just a chain of random events that get read into too much. But I still don't discount them. They give me hope where none seems possible. Just go with the flow. Link to post Share on other sites
MrMayI Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Oh MayI, I'm sorry that you have to go do that today! I am so ready for this whole nightmare to be over so I can begin to finally pick up the pieces and move forward in my life. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason but I'm starting to wonder whether all of these cancellations at the last minute are a sign... Or I'm just still holding on to a glimmer of hope for a reconciliation! Last night my husband said, "Maybe someday I'll wake up and think this was a huge mistake and want everything back." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!?? thank you BH. it's been a long time coming. just totally official now. i get your non-understanding of what he said to you last night. my ex told me a month ago that the divorce doesn't mean we won't be together. she said if we end up together we can have a big wedding filled with family and friends, unlike the small vegas wedding we had 5 years ago. she tells me all of this about 10 minutes after she tells me she will succumb and sign the papers. i don't get it. i can tell you with certainty, though. as a man who now LEGALLY has custody of his child, i will never say never to getting together again, but i will NEVER EVER EVER marry her again. there will be no opportunity like that for her to take my daughter and make me a weekend daddy. stay strong, Broken. you may not see it, but i do. you're getting much, much better. Link to post Share on other sites
JaneDoe35 Posted October 19, 2009 Share Posted October 19, 2009 Oh MayI, I'm sorry that you have to go do that today! I am so ready for this whole nightmare to be over so I can begin to finally pick up the pieces and move forward in my life. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason but I'm starting to wonder whether all of these cancellations at the last minute are a sign... Or I'm just still holding on to a glimmer of hope for a reconciliation! Last night my husband said, "Maybe someday I'll wake up and think this was a huge mistake and want everything back." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!?? That is probably the first smart thing your husband has said throughout your whole ordeal. No offence to your husband, but you know what I mean... Link to post Share on other sites
shadowplay Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 wait a second. Your brother committed suicide 11 days ago at the time that you wrote this thread, and you barely give it a passing mention. Does anyone else find that a bit odd? Were you not that close to him? Link to post Share on other sites
worlybear Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Hi.Just read your thread and I really feel for you. I know how it is- you feel that you are struggling in deep water ,trying to swim, trying to cope and then your ex pole-axes you with a casual remark that makes you feel hope again. Take a deep breath and swim forward. Don't look back. Get all this legal mess out of the way and then give yourself time to grieve for your relationship with your ex AND your brother's death. Don't beat yourself up. Go forward.Ever forward. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author broken hearted Posted October 31, 2009 Author Share Posted October 31, 2009 (edited) My brother did commit suicide a couple of weeks before I wrote this thread...it has now been 3 months! The separation and divorce forum is not to get advice on how to grieve for a brother's death, therefore, I did not mention much about it. I don't know whether you're trying to make me out to be some sort of heartless person bc you think I didn't grieve for my brother properly or I'm just very sensitive right now! This past year has been the most heartwrenching and painful time of my life and the loss of my brother, my marriage, my husband, and what could have been for both my brother and my relationship is almost too much to handle at times so please don't pick me apart with how I am dealing with or grieving for anything! Again, I am not trying to be rude but maybe I am just sensitive today...it's Halloween and my kids are with my stbx, he refused to allow me to go out trick or treating with them after I asked to go with them several times...bc it's "his day" with the kids. I knew he was going to be selfish and not allow me to go even though I found and purchased the costumes and he didn't do a damn thing...so I dressed them up last night and took them to all of my relatives houses so that I could be a part of the fun and excitement with them. Edited October 31, 2009 by broken hearted Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 Broken Hearted Remember this night and his selfish ways when you have your backslides. He is below pond scum. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 My brother did commit suicide a couple of weeks before I wrote this thread...it has now been 3 months! The separation and divorce forum is not to get advice on how to grieve for a brother's death, therefore, I did not mention much about it. I don't know whether you're trying to make me out to be some sort of heartless person bc you think I didn't grieve for my brother properly or I'm just very sensitive right now! This past year has been the most heartwrenching and painful time of my life and the loss of my brother, my marriage, my husband, and what could have been for both my brother and my relationship is almost too much to handle at times so please don't pick me apart with how I am dealing with or grieving for anything! Again, I am not trying to be rude but maybe I am just sensitive today...it's Halloween and my kids are with my stbx, he refused to allow me to go out trick or treating with them after I asked to go with them several times...bc it's "his day" with the kids. I knew he was going to be selfish and not allow me to go even though I found and purchased the costumes and he didn't do a damn thing...so I dressed them up last night and took them to all of my relatives houses so that I could be a part of the fun and excitement with them. Ignore this guy BH! This is like some guy telling you how you should feel and live your life, when in fact? He's not a clue what you've been through! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 This past year has been the most heartwrenching and painful time of my life and the loss of my brother, my marriage, my husband, and what could have been for both my brother and my relationship is almost too much to handle at times so please don't pick me apart with how I am dealing with or grieving for anything! The Storms of Life? They just keep rolling in one after another! Be Strong! It gets better, it really does! I've been there, done that! Siege ~ Bunker mentality! Hunker down! Keep your head low! JHC! When is this ever going to end? When will it ever stop! One thing after another! Link to post Share on other sites
JaneDoe35 Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 Exactly Gunny....not sure if the previous poster has been in a long-term (over 13 years for me) relationship and had children. When your husband or wife leaves it is like a death. It is as bad as a death for some. Just my opinion of course.... My psychologist told me that she has counselled people who have gone through the loss of a partner through death and through divorce in one lifetime and that divorce can sometimes be harder. BH is no doubt grieving for the loss of her brother and now the loss of her marriage on top of that. She is the most incredible woman. The fact that she is still standing amazes me. She comes here to vent and get help as she is trying somehow to survive for her children...and she will survive. Broken Hearted - you inspire me to continue on in my darkest hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 I'm no hero! Far from it! But I've been through more than most. Wars and storms! Hurricanes and typhoons ~ at least twenty or more? I've lost count? I've been shot at, hit and missed! Lost friends! Damn good friends! Brothers and Sisters born of another Mother! I've slept in the drenching rains in a ditch. With nothing but a poncho liner for cover! But nothing ever hurt me as the closing of a door as she said "Goodbye" Link to post Share on other sites
JaneDoe35 Posted November 1, 2009 Share Posted November 1, 2009 I'm no hero! Far from it! But I've been through more than most. Wars and storms! Hurricanes and typhoons ~ at least twenty or more? I've lost count? I've been shot at, hit and missed! Lost friends! Damn good friends! Brothers and Sisters born of another Mother! I've slept in the drenching rains in a ditch. With nothing but a poncho liner for cover! But nothing ever hurt me as the closing of a door as she said "Goodbye" And you know, your last line is why I will never give my all again. I will never again feel this level of pain. I did not know this sort of pain existed....I had no idea that people all over the world were feeling this way. I have helped people that go through this sort of thing for the last 12 years and I honestly had no idea of how it felt!!! And Gunny, you are our hero!!! For what you have done while serving your country and for your serving of the Love Shack community.....sorry if that sounds crazy, been a long day with husband visiting and if I don't come on here I will just cry.... Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts