Is my profession a turn off?

[Chubbi]

Honestly, I would be more turned off because you are kinda of a hermit. You don't go out, you're not very sociable. I would get bored with you at my age, and it wouldn't matter how much money you've made. I would go for the guy who probably has to work the 9-5 for 40k but is a lot more outgoing, sociable and fun. Like, what else do you do? I'm active and open-minded and would want someone who has other interests. Do you like fishing? Do you exercise? Are you a traveling type? A writer? Do you play video games/ I like videogames, but what do you do with the excess time?

 

There may be some girls who would date you just because you make six figures-not my thing though.

 

I would look at the big picture. It wouldn't just be your occupation that's a turn off for me. If it was just your occupation, I don't think I would mind for a dating stage. I'm not dating your occupation- I'm dating you. Now, if you were a drug dealer, okay, different story, but I don't see how you earning a living would concern me. If it's something you are good at doing, something you enjoy, you're not hurting other people, then go for it. I wouldn't worry about security in the dating/boyfriend stage.

 

If I was thinking long-term, I wouldn't see you as a viable option. Gambling can be addicting and I don't like being around addictions, or marrying a person with one. There would be no stability with your occupation.

[Adunaphel]

I would not be happy to date a professional poker player... but I would not be happy to date a stock trader either.

[kahn2154]

This thread reminds me of how dreamy Matt Damon was in "Rounders"..*sigh*

 

I think the lack of financial stability is the only problem with playing poker for a living. There's a big difference between a compulsive gambler, who'd gamble his own house or the kids' tuition money, and someone who does it in an organized and meticulous way. If I were to date you, I'd actually admire your skill at it because there is a lot of skill involved and no matter what people do in life, the ones that are in the top of their field always get bonus points from me.

 

There is a lot of stigma associated with gambling in general, so yeah, I can see why most women would be turned off. Who cares? You make a nice income for your age, get to make your schedule and probably have a lot of free time on your hands to pursue other interests. You could go for a University degree as a back up plan, as a way to improve yourself, meet new people and also gain some life experience overall. There are so many subjects out there, it's impossible not to find something you like.

 

I mean with the financial stability, no I do not get a guaranteed income, but lets just say I make 20k in a month and essentially break even the next (let say I make 2k). Does that really make me financially unstable? If I go and blow the 20k I make and spend it on random stuff and live month to month ok, but if I have no expenses and put most of it in a bank account I'd say 22k over the course of two months is pretty good.

[kahn2154]

Honestly, I would be more turned off because you are kinda of a hermit. You don't go out, you're not very sociable. I would get bored with you at my age, and it wouldn't matter how much money you've made. I would go for the guy who probably has to work the 9-5 for 40k but is a lot more outgoing, sociable and fun. Like, what else do you do? I'm active and open-minded and would want someone who has other interests. Do you like fishing? Do you exercise? Are you a traveling type? A writer? Do you play video games/ I like videogames, but what do you do with the excess time?

 

There may be some girls who would date you just because you make six figures-not my thing though.

 

I would look at the big picture. It wouldn't just be your occupation that's a turn off for me. If it was just your occupation, I don't think I would mind for a dating stage. I'm not dating your occupation- I'm dating you. Now, if you were a drug dealer, okay, different story, but I don't see how you earning a living would concern me. If it's something you are good at doing, something you enjoy, you're not hurting other people, then go for it. I wouldn't worry about security in the dating/boyfriend stage.

 

If I was thinking long-term, I wouldn't see you as a viable option. Gambling can be addicting and I don't like being around addictions, or marrying a person with one. There would be no stability with your occupation.

 

Yeah I'm boring and trying to work on that, its hard to get started with no friend to turn to and bring you into some social circle. I go to gym, watch DVDs, play very little video games if that wasn't a rhetorical question.

 

I can see how everyone says gambling is addicting, but I am not addicted. If I had some other option I'd have no problem quitting poker and never playing again. I don't even play it for fun or thrill anymore like I first started, just for income. Its like it is with everything else, once you turn something you like into your career you start to hate it.

[tanbark813]

It's not guaranteed income so from one year to the next, there's no real financial security.

 

Lots of conventional professions don't have guaranteed income. Retail store manager, engineer, teacher, etc., etc., etc... Any one of those you could find yourself out of work the next year and have a hard time finding a job.

 

But yah, basically it seems like I have no redeem qualities and will never get a gf

 

You just need to date girls who understand probability and statistics. Even better if they understand poker.

 

Anyone who has played poker for a while understands that to make any money at it, especially enough to live comfortably, requires a very high level of patience and discipline. I would bet (see what I did there? ) more patience and discipline than the average person.

[Trialbyfire]

Lots of conventional professions don't have guaranteed income. Retail store manager, engineer, teacher, etc., etc., etc... Any one of those you could find yourself out of work the next year and have a hard time finding a job.

Not if you have an excellent CV, building networks of contacts, etc. When you do this, jobs fall into your lap. Also, unless you encounter early senility, you won't lose your edge until after you retire.

[Jaytb]

hey the OP is (supposedly) making good money. I don't think anyone could really discount him for that. He sounds quite skilled at what he's doing, so people should give him credit for it. And don't worry, there's plenty of gold diggers out there to date! haha. Seriously, I give props for anyone to make good money off of poker. Anyone know what percent of people make money off of it? How about "good" money? I'd bet he's in an elite position probably, maybe he should go to the World Series of Poker, that would definitely get chicks!

[tanbark813]

Not if you have an excellent CV, building networks of contacts, etc. When you do this, jobs fall into your lap. Also, unless you encounter early senility, you won't lose your edge until after you retire.

 

[Trialbyfire]

My Dad, two of my uncles and my sister were/are engineers. My mother was a teacher. I have friends who are 'geers and teachers. Any other questions?

[tanbark813]

My Dad, two of my uncles and my sister were/are engineers. My mother was a teacher. I have friends who are 'geers and teachers. Any other questions?

 

Why are you so pompous?

 

You're forgetting you're talking to a software engineer most of whose friends are in the tech industry. It can take time to find a job. They don't always just fall into your lap. To believe so is incredibly naive. I'm sure the 10% of people out of work here right now would agree with me.

 

Now run along and tell the other bunnies in TBF Fantasy Land that they'll never be out of work.

[scoopler]

I have some advice for you, as well as an opportunity. I'm not sure how to private message you, but you could send me an email to [email protected] and we'll talk. Sorry to interrupt the thread folks, but I happened to see this discussion on Tweble.com as a "featured discussion" ... and I signed up simply to talk to this dude. This community seems interesting, I'll probably enjoy myself here :-) .

[Trialbyfire]

Why are you so pompous?

 

You're forgetting you're talking to a software engineer most of whose friends are in the tech industry. It can take time to find a job. They don't always just fall into your lap. To believe so is incredibly naive. I'm sure the 10% of people out of work here right now would agree with me.

 

Now run along and tell the other bunnies in TBF Fantasy Land that they'll never be out of work.

I was talking about civil/electrical/other real engineers, not developers.

 

And yes, jobs did fall into the people I know, laps. It happened to me as well. But then, you have to work hard to get the rep and also to network hard. Perhaps this isn't your thing, so I can understand why it appears to be fantasy land for people who haven't experienced it.

[tanbark813]

I was talking about civil/electrical/other real engineers, not developers.

 

 

And yes, jobs did fall into the people I know, laps. It happened to me as well. But then, you have to work hard to get the rep and also to network hard. Perhaps this isn't your thing, so I can understand why it appears to be fantasy land for people who haven't experienced it.

 

 

I hope you understand how little merit the phrase "work hard" has coming from someone with 30+ average posts per day.

[Trialbyfire]

I hope you understand how little merit the phrase "work hard" has coming from someone with 30+ average posts per day.

Pfffttt...30+ posts is nothing, if I were to focus on solely posting on LS.

[whichwayisup]

I've played online poker since I was in college. I used to have an extreme case of social anxiety disorder and avoided leaving out the house let alone getting a job. So it started as a hobby, and I stuck with it improved and made it into my job. Over the last 3 years I've averaged 6 figures, and am on pace for a 4th over 6 figures, which is pretty good for someone in their early 20's especially in this economic climate.

 

Now one of the things that always bothered me was the perceived perception of a poker player. When people think of a gambler they pretty much equate that person to a junkie, someone who is always on his last dollar/or in debt and basically a low life (I'm sure you know the stereotype) Now I'm the complete opposite of this, I'm extremely conservative with my money and saved the majority of it, don't party/do drugs, really good kid compared to others and really boring.

 

I've always avoided telling people I played poker for this reason, until recently when my psychologist suggested I should be more open about it because people will find it interesting about me. Well the responses are usually extremely negative or positive, people are either fascinated or they think to the stereotype and wonder how I can win money and say I will go broke and there is no changing their mind.

 

Recently relatives of mine found out I played poker and they basically told me I was wasting my life and that no self respecting girl would ever want a husband whose profession was a poker player. (I don't plan right now on doing it for the rest of my life, but I really have no plan for my life right now..) So I'm just wondering is this a huge turnoff? From what I gathered (because I've never had a gf) the early 20's/teen crowd (college basically) would think this would cool, but I could see how someone older than that would be more into a career man.

 

Thanks

 

Have you ever thought of getting help for your anxiety disorder? Cognitive behaviour therapy..Google it, read up on it..Think about getting help - Even though you're making good money, your life is in box and will get smaller and smaller if you don't get help, learn to handle your anxiety, agrophobia..

[tanbark813]

Pfffttt...30+ posts is nothing, if I were to focus on solely posting on LS.

 

Uh huh. Keep up the good work.

[Trialbyfire]

Uh huh. Keep up the good work.

Thanks. My invoicing reflects my good work!

 

So nice to pick the projects I want and work at the pace I like to. It really helps to be efficient and capable of multi-tasking, when you're self-employed!

 

Actually, you should see my ex-H. Talk about ability to multi-task. He totally kicks my ass when it comes to being able to do 10 things at the same time. But then, that's why he hit EVP before he hit 30. Oh, hang on, same here.

[tanbark813]

You are amazing, TBF. Your quality of life and accomplishments are top rate. One might say unbelievable.

[Trialbyfire]

You are amazing, TBF. Your quality of life and accomplishments are top rate. One might say unbelievable.

Thanks tanbark but I do have to once again say that my ex did kick my arse on certain aspects, as my fiance also does. It's relative to where strengths and weaknesses lie, within each individual.

 

Having said all that, I once again, believe, that the OP should be working as hard as he can, while he's in his twenties, to get himself entrenched for when he hits his latter years, where experience tells.

[sunshinegirl]

But then, that's why he hit EVP before he hit 30. Oh, hang on, same here.

 

What is EVP?

[Trialbyfire]

What is EVP?

Executive Vice-President. Actually mine was VP and then COO.

[Ruby Slippers]

It wouldn't be a turnoff for me. In fact, it would be a turn-on that you are smart enough at this young age to be looking for ways to escape the rat race and make your own way. I run my own business, and I love it. Sometimes when I am feeling lazy, I think about going back to a mindless job with a regular paycheck, but I always snap out of that pretty quickly.

 

The boyfriend I had the best relationship with is a math whiz who understands the strategy involved in gambling. 95% of the time, he wins big at the casino, because he has mastered the strategies of all the different games. I used to gamble with him, and he was amazing. He's been gambling now for at least 10 years, and he's way ahead of the house.

 

He was recently offered a big promotion and raise at work, but he made a move to quit his job and start working for himself with a statistics-based business. They begged him to stay on at least half-time, so he's doing that for a while for "security". But as his own ventures take off, he keeps telling me he wants to ditch the lame day job and invest fully in his own ideas.

 

I admit that when we first got together, I was nervous about his tendency toward risk and speculative income. But over time, I have seen that someone with the right mind and mentality can be brilliant at that. I think he's one of them. I will be very surprised if he doesn't make his fortune within the next few years.

 

He could easily have a traditional job with all that entails, but then you're basically a corporate slave. I very much admire the courage it takes to try something different. By now, many of my friends are self-employed. We can do what we want when we want, say yes or no to potential clients, plan our own lives and financial futures. If we want a raise, we increase our rates or work smarter. If we want to take a vacation, we go. If we don't feel like working today, we don't. It's pretty sweet.

 

The main piece of advice I have for you is to put back at least half of what you earn in the big months, rather than frittering it away on junk you don't even need. If you are prepared to weather the big swings in income that come with a lifestyle of higher risk, you'll be just fine.

[kahn2154]

Have you ever thought of getting help for your anxiety disorder? Cognitive behaviour therapy..Google it, read up on it..Think about getting help - Even though you're making good money, your life is in box and will get smaller and smaller if you don't get help, learn to handle your anxiety, agrophobia..

 

Seeing a psych for almost a year, and its nowhere near as bad as it once was. It was terrible in HS, improved quite a bit in college, and more since seeing the psych. I have no problem going out as I once did

[Woggle]

If I were you I would put some of it away in a savings account and let it collect interest but other than that I way to go. People are jealous of somebody who makes good money without being a slave to the coporate machine plus it is 100% legal. You ae your own man running your own operation. As long as you have the right attitude about it it should not harm your love life.

[kahn2154]

TBF is amazing. She can turn an online poker thread into a thread trying to brag about herself, her family, and her "fiancee". And by the way, how is memory and poker related? Have you played before or is this another topic you are an instant expert at?

 

Anyway, I doubt the OP makes that much playing online poker. Even the top pros seek other forms of revenue (book sales, video sales, endorsements) to have a reliable and steady source of income.

 

Online poker even has far less skill involved than playing in real life. You do not see any tells, have to read body language, or really know whom you are playing against.

 

Um, you should take your own advice on pretending to be an expert.

 

#1 Why would I lie about how much I make? I'm seeking advice and want to be honest in order to get good responses

#2 Professional Athletes who makes 10 million + a year seek other forms of revenue via endorsements, does that mean they don't make a lot either? The best poker players (elite) make 7 figures annually, could very well be 8 figures a year, but that would probably just be for the very best (Phil Ivey), from poker alone.

#3 Online Poker Players are much better than live players, its not even a discussion really.

#4 While poker tells may factor into decisions they play a very small part and are completely overblown by people. All good players pretty much make their decisions based on betting patterns. I'm not saying there are no poker tells that can help, I mean if a guy is shaking every time he bluffs well then you know he's bluffing, but poker players don't figure out people's hands by staring into their eyes and reading their souls or something like that.