kahn2154 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I've played online poker since I was in college. I used to have an extreme case of social anxiety disorder and avoided leaving out the house let alone getting a job. So it started as a hobby, and I stuck with it improved and made it into my job. Over the last 3 years I've averaged 6 figures, and am on pace for a 4th over 6 figures, which is pretty good for someone in their early 20's especially in this economic climate. Now one of the things that always bothered me was the perceived perception of a poker player. When people think of a gambler they pretty much equate that person to a junkie, someone who is always on his last dollar/or in debt and basically a low life (I'm sure you know the stereotype) Now I'm the complete opposite of this, I'm extremely conservative with my money and saved the majority of it, don't party/do drugs, really good kid compared to others and really boring. I've always avoided telling people I played poker for this reason, until recently when my psychologist suggested I should be more open about it because people will find it interesting about me. Well the responses are usually extremely negative or positive, people are either fascinated or they think to the stereotype and wonder how I can win money and say I will go broke and there is no changing their mind. Recently relatives of mine found out I played poker and they basically told me I was wasting my life and that no self respecting girl would ever want a husband whose profession was a poker player. (I don't plan right now on doing it for the rest of my life, but I really have no plan for my life right now..) So I'm just wondering is this a huge turnoff? From what I gathered (because I've never had a gf) the early 20's/teen crowd (college basically) would think this would cool, but I could see how someone older than that would be more into a career man. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I think your psychologist is right. (Hey, it happens sometimes!) What's that old line? "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter" Something like that. If there are those around you that see it as a turn-off, that says more about them than about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Honestly I would be worried if my daughter came home and said she was in love with a professional poker player. Are you going to school and have a back up plan? Are you putting a TON of that money away in savings? What happens when you hit a losing streak? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Ive dated guys that gambled a lot. More than a hobby. But they were otherwise successful in that they had extra income and time from other business. If they had not been established and secure already...I wouldnt be attracted to someone who claimed to gamble "for a living". There is no security...thats why its called gambling. Even though you are only gambling on line surely you understand that it takes a long time to "earn" and a very very short time to lose. Casinos are run and can count on many many many people who think of themselves as "professionals" losing their entire life savings. I mean, thats why there is gambling, thats why there are venues for it. But if your just talking about dating...and you are only in your 20s...security and ambition are not necessarily traits you have to have to offer. I would be more concerned that you were in front of a computer doing the same thing without any RL interaction. So, if you mix up the gambling activity with another interesting activity, that was less virtual...that would be good. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 (I don't plan right now on doing it for the rest of my life, but I really have no plan for my life right now..) Not having a plan is a turn-off. Not having a job with growth prospects and health benefits and stability is a turn-off. If you're just dating around, who cares? But if you're looking for a long-term relationship with someone who might want to marry you and have a family one day, it's a huge turn-off. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 just say you make money from an internet "business" venture Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Tell them you're a day trader. Same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kahn2154 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 I think your psychologist is right. (Hey, it happens sometimes!) What's that old line? "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter" Something like that. If there are those around you that see it as a turn-off, that says more about them than about you. I just think that the type of girl I would be into would be turned off by it I guess, even though I do not match the stereotype at all Link to post Share on other sites
Author kahn2154 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 Honestly I would be worried if my daughter came home and said she was in love with a professional poker player. Are you going to school and have a back up plan? Are you putting a TON of that money away in savings? What happens when you hit a losing streak? I graduated college a year ago, I am not actively looking for a job but even if I were I'd say I would have a hard time finding one. I have more money saved away than I know what to do with, my bankroll and my savings are two separate things. Once I take money out of my bankroll it does not go back in. I have never deposited money in my bankroll over 4-5 years and I basically play to the confines of what my poker bankroll allows me to. So if I go on a losing streak I drop down in limits so I am not playing with more than I can afford to lose. I have money in stocks, Sep Ira, short term treasury and high yield savings so I have enough stocked away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kahn2154 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 Not having a plan is a turn-off. Not having a job with growth prospects and health benefits and stability is a turn-off. If you're just dating around, who cares? But if you're looking for a long-term relationship with someone who might want to marry you and have a family one day, it's a huge turn-off. I have health insurance, growth prospects, I guess I could make potentially more in the future, but if I were to get some entry level job I could work my ass off for 10 years and still not make 100k. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Casinos are run and can count on many many many people who think of themselves as "professionals" losing their entire life savings. I mean, thats why there is gambling, thats why there are venues for it. There's a big difference between poker and casino games (blackjack, slots, craps, etc...). With the latter you're mathematically guaranteed to lose over time. With the former you're not. In poker you're playing against other players, not the house. I think your psychologist is right. (Hey, it happens sometimes!) What's that old line? "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter" Something like that. If there are those around you that see it as a turn-off, that says more about them than about you. Agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kahn2154 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 I mean, do tons of people my age have a plan? I think right now its just find the first job they can get. My plan with poker is make enough money to start a business in the future and get even richer on that. Its a vague plan though and I have no idea or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kahn2154 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 Tell them you're a day trader. Same thing. Yeah exactly, you tell someone you are a day trader in the market and they'll be impressed, you tell someone you play poker and you are scum even though day trading is more of a gamble than poker Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetcheripie Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I mean, do tons of people my age have a plan? I think right now its just find the first job they can get. My plan with poker is make enough money to start a business in the future and get even richer on that. Its a vague plan though and I have no idea or anything. I think you will be just fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly Bean Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I'd be turned off, K. If this was someone's sole source of income, I'd be very worried indeed. I'd be concerned about the addiction of it all, that if he has two bad games, he's broke, etc. Basically, "professional gambler" isn't exactly the kind of guy I would look for. Sorry to sound so judgemental - I'm just being honest. I've been around a lot of addictive behaviors, and gambling is just another one on the list. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 I still think you just need to enhance your life with another activity to kind of balance out the "professional gambler" image. Maybe "Gunslinger" Link to post Share on other sites
BOLTON33 Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Well personally I find it to be a statement of our society when somebody who doesn't lift a finger (actually, that's all you do) is making 6 figures while the rest of us got to bust our asses contributing to society for bare bones. Got to admit though, day traders and speculators in my opinion are far worse than even the worst low life gambler. Being a low life isn't about how much cash you have, it's about your moral character. But women generally won't care, as long as the money keeps coming in bro. I agree, they will certainly think it's interesting that you do something like that for a living. Just make sure you don't lose those 6 figures against a better player. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 If there are those around you that see it as a turn-off, that says more about them than about you. Would you say the same thing about other addictions? It may say more about them than it does about Kahn, but not necessarily in a bad way. Not having a plan is a turn-off. Not having a job with growth prospects and health benefits and stability is a turn-off. If you're just dating around, who cares? But if you're looking for a long-term relationship with someone who might want to marry you and have a family one day, it's a huge turn-off. Precisely. If it says more about those who are turned-off than it does about Kahn, it says those who are turned off admire stability and prefer to have relationships with those who are stable. That's not a bad thing. I'd be turned off, K. If this was someone's sole source of income, I'd be very worried indeed. I'd be concerned about the addiction of it all, that if he has two bad games, he's broke, etc. Basically, "professional gambler" isn't exactly the kind of guy I would look for. Sorry to sound so judgemental - I'm just being honest. I've been around a lot of addictive behaviors, and gambling is just another one on the list. Agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Yeah exactly, you tell someone you are a day trader in the market and they'll be impressed, you tell someone you play poker and you are scum even though day trading is more of a gamble than poker If you're a good day trader, it's very different than playing poker. But, most day traders don't know their arse from a hole in the ground therefore, burn out in 6 months to a year's time, flat busted. Sheer stupidity and no one else's fault besides their own. As for being attracted to a professional gambler, not my thing. It's not guaranteed income so from one year to the next, there's no real financial security. You're riding the wave right now, with your memory at prime. So, what happens when you lose your edge? How will you earn a living? At your age, you should be paving your way for your future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kahn2154 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 I'd be turned off, K. If this was someone's sole source of income, I'd be very worried indeed. I'd be concerned about the addiction of it all, that if he has two bad games, he's broke, etc. Basically, "professional gambler" isn't exactly the kind of guy I would look for. Sorry to sound so judgemental - I'm just being honest. I've been around a lot of addictive behaviors, and gambling is just another one on the list. If a player practices proper bankroll management they will never go broke. Its kind of like common sense, just use stocks for example, if you have 8k and you put all 8k into one stock, and that stock plummets you will lose a lot, have to diversify. Have to always have like 30- 40 or so buyins for any limits you will play. I'm not addicted either, I find it boring at this point and force myself to play. If you gave me another job that gave me almost as much freedom as poker with comparable salary I'd take it over poker in a second. But if I got a 'real' job I'd know I'd be even more miserable working some 9-5 so I continue playing. But yah, basically it seems like I have no redeem qualities and will never get a gf Link to post Share on other sites
Author kahn2154 Posted July 23, 2009 Author Share Posted July 23, 2009 I still think you just need to enhance your life with another activity to kind of balance out the "professional gambler" image. Maybe "Gunslinger" I don't know what you mean like that, get another form of income or something on the side? Or like hobby/activity such as traveling a lot (which I can do playing poker but I'm a loser and opt to stay home) Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Yes! Thats exactly what I mean. You said in your original post that you have struggled with social anxiety which limited your activity...I assume thats how you discovered you could make money playing poker. From the responses here , clearly there are disadvantages in having the image or stereotype that profession creates. So, yes - add to your resume, if not professionally, then socially - for example: "I know you will find this unusual, but I actually have been able to make a good living doing something I came upon accidentally. Playing Poker. Yes, I know. While I have been successful with this, obviously its just a means to come up with the financing for a larger endeavor. Meanwhile, I like to keep myself sharp by continuing my education. In my freetime, which is less than you might think, I enjoy painting/volunteering/going to museums. (Make it something OPPOSITE of gambling). " If you can make this statement TRUE, that would be even better. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 kahn, one thing I realized, is that all the female members, myself inclusive, who've stated concern, are either in their thirties or forties. You might want to wait and see how the twenty-something set feel about it, since that's your target audience. Maybe they have a difference of opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Personally, I'm kind of jealous that some guy half my age is pulling in six figures playing online poker. "Honey, I'm thinking about a career change." Link to post Share on other sites
redhighheels Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 This thread reminds me of how dreamy Matt Damon was in "Rounders"..*sigh* I think the lack of financial stability is the only problem with playing poker for a living. There's a big difference between a compulsive gambler, who'd gamble his own house or the kids' tuition money, and someone who does it in an organized and meticulous way. If I were to date you, I'd actually admire your skill at it because there is a lot of skill involved and no matter what people do in life, the ones that are in the top of their field always get bonus points from me. There is a lot of stigma associated with gambling in general, so yeah, I can see why most women would be turned off. Who cares? You make a nice income for your age, get to make your schedule and probably have a lot of free time on your hands to pursue other interests. You could go for a University degree as a back up plan, as a way to improve yourself, meet new people and also gain some life experience overall. There are so many subjects out there, it's impossible not to find something you like. Link to post Share on other sites
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