feel like situation went as badly as possible, and like i will never have a boyfriend

[my body is a cage]

Well, so, I'm 20 and just finished my sophomore year in college and am on summer vacation. Maybe I have too much time on my hands right now, but I certainly have reflected a lot on this situation with a guy I liked last semester and it really has me feeling like ****.

 

To summarize: I've had a huge crush on this guy all year. We hooked up once first semester, then we had three classes together last semester. I was really nervous, but he waited for me after class the first day. We hooked up once at the beginning of last semester too, and he was really sweet and introduced me to all his friends, was sweet to me in class, etc, but wasn't always a reliable texter... actually, he would text me every day more or less, but ALWAYS about something school related and I don't know why. We were really awkward when we saw each other out for a while, then later we got better but I was still afraid that he wasn't interested and didn't really act on his (subtle) advances. I wasn't sure that he liked me, and the situation with having so many classes and seeing him first thing in the morning 3 days a week really stressed me out.

 

Here is another thread that goes into more detail:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t182601/

 

Basically I was afraid to believe that someone I liked could possibly like me too, and as a result was really closed off. Its as if I feel like I don't deserve to be liked, or that I am too inept to ever have requited love. My natural reaction when I like a guy is always to act like I don't like him at all. I mean, I know people say that you're supposed to play "hard to get" and all, but I always play TOO hard, and it's not because I'm playing games its because I am legitimately shy and afraid of rejection...

 

This ALWAYS happens with guys I like. They tell me they don't think I like them. I really have a hard time trusting guys, even after they tell me they like me, I think that they will change their minds. After I hook up with a guy I always think he is done with me and doesn't want to anymore.

 

Now, in this case, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but either way I feel like the situation went as terribly as it could have. I mean, we had so much time together, and all that resulted (at least on my end) was confusion and bad feelings. I still think about this guy a lot, and it kills me that maybe I missed out on an opportunity... but when I think that I realize I don't even know that I did; maybe he wasn't interested either way.

 

 

My first question is: in a scenario like this, do you think something could ever happen in the future? Or if it failed in this scenario, will it fail in all other scenarios? I will be going abroad in the fall, so I won't be seeing him for a while. Also, how do I stop dwelling on the scenario, and blaming myself? I really feel like its all my fault, and I don't know how to change that.

 

Secondly: How do I get over this feeling that I am too inept to ever have someone I like like me back? I am 20 years old, and I've only had one actual boyfriend, and I wasn't really that into him. After that I have had a slew of FWB situations, all of which ended badly, one of which was actually REALLY ****ed up and messed with my mind a lot. Is this normal for people who are 20 years old? I feel like dating only gets harder as you get older?!

 

I have never had a meaningful, healthy relationship. It makes me feel undesirable, and what's worse: I'm not really insecure about my appearance- I have been told by guys I am highly attractive and some people have even said I am one of the prettiest girls at my school - for some reason I just feel that as a whole I am too shy and awkward to ever be with a guy I like. I know it's sort of irrational: I'm a thoughtful and considerate person and not really offensive in any way, so I shouldn't have that much trouble, right? And although I have my super shy moments, I do have a very active social life with friends...

 

I think living at home with my parents has really got me in a negative mindset as well. I really don't get along with my dad at all and being at home makes me feel depressed and insecure. Thanks for reading everyone, I just needed a place to vent and ask a few questions.

[Lucky_One]

I'm going to be really honest here. I don't see a big deal about being a sophmore in college and only having had one boyfriend, but I DO see a problem with your having many FWBs.

 

I think when young girls get into sexual relationships with no deep emotional connection, it confuses them and kills a lot of their self-esteem. I think they can really screw up an older woman, too, but at least the older woman has some age and experience under her belt and can deal better with just using a guy for sex with no emotions.

 

I would try to figure out what led you to so many FWB relationships, before I really worried about having a BF.

 

Sigh...you are so daggone young.....

[boogieboy]

WOW, you need a woman from here to give you the basics on how to date guys so that you dont end up as an FWB all the time.

 

Instead if taking a chance and showing interest in guys you like, you close off because you dont want to wind up as an FWB.

 

You need a lesson in self exteem.

[my body is a cage]

Ok for one let me clarify, I don't mean a LOT of FWB situations, I mean maybe 3 or 4, and when I say that, only one involved sex. This last guy was the second guy I had ever had sex with.

 

WOW, you need a woman from here to give you the basics on how to date guys so that you dont end up as an FWB all the time.

 

Instead if taking a chance and showing interest in guys you like, you close off because you dont want to wind up as an FWB.

 

You need a lesson in self exteem.

 

 

Yes, thats what I said, haha. Why can't a guy on here give me a crash course? How do I develop self-esteem and date the guys I like? Did I screw up beyond repair with the last guy?